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Monday, November 03, 2014

Michigan Talifans Blow Up Speakers in Big House

(from MZone wire reporters) ANN ARBOR, MI - The Talifan - a radical group of University of Michigan supporters who adhere to a strict interpretation of what constitutes Michigan tradition - have blown up the speakers inside the Big House in order to prevent any further piped in music to be played inside the stadium.  A video of the destruction was posted today on their website OnlyWeKnowWhatTrueFandomIs.net (SEE BELOW).

"Only the one true marching band should be heard inside the stadium," said the group's leader, Tim Gundersack (BA, '97) from a secret location where he mooches off the wi-fi signal of a nearby coffee shop in order to write his blog.  "The Michigan gameday experience is sacred and should be exactly as it was in 1926, Field H. Yost's last year as head coach.  How can it be tradition if it's not traditional?"

According to Gundersack, the present day experience at Michigan Stadium has "changed" too much and "isn't the same as when (he) was there."  "Back then," said Gundersack, "everything cost a nickel and Michigan won every game.  Peace be with Bo."

Gundersack went on to explain the Talifan's rationale for blowing up the speakers.  "True Michigan fans didn't want the rawk crap they'd been playing over the speakers," he said.  "What does Seven Nation Army have to do with Michigan?  Nothing.  True Blue fans only want quality stuff that's played live by the Michigan Marching Band and is specific to our university.  Classic music like the Rocky and Bullwinkle theme."

The group has threatened to flame anybody who disagrees with them on their website, or block them on Twitter, or both if they try to leave a comment then tweet about it.  "Those who do not follow the way are nothing but Drew Sharps to me," said Gundersack before bitching about Michigan's refusal to switch to a modern spread offense.

Previously, the Talifan has opposed the renovation of the Big House, night games, and the use of non-leather helmets.