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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Behold the SHOWGIRLS of Pro-Tosu Vids (No, I'm not over-selling it)

Sometimes it's best not to ask why but to simply kneel before the all-powerful YouTube gods and give merciful thanks. Case in point: the video below.

So I had already scheduled our posts for Thursday and was about to call it a night. Then I stumbled upon...upon...this. What is it you ask? How can a perfect storm of awful be adequately summed up? Answer: it can't. It just must be consumed.

I know, I know. "Yost, be careful," you're probably thinking. "You're overselling it."

No. No, I'm not.

When you finish reading this paragraph and then click play below, you could conceivably find yourself watching the SHOWGIRLS of pro-Buckeye videos. All 3 minutes and 44 seconds of it (no, that's it. Just 3 minutes, 44 seconds. Honest. It just feels like 3 hours and 44 minutes since the awfulness in it is apparently traveling at the speed of light and thus bringing time to a virtual standstill).

"You can get yourself drunk//you can tailgate//you can bring your daaaaate!"

I think it's safe to say, with lyrics like that, even Sir Paul McCartney would simply nod and say, "Bravo, Mascot Man. Bravo."

And thank you, YouTube. I can never repay your generosity tonight.

PS Hey, Buckeye fans, lemme know if this catches on at the 'Shoe. Personally, I can already see this haunting little ditty replacing Hang On Sloopy.


Mikoyan said...

Wow. Um....Thanks for finding that. Not only do I have to poke my eyes out but I think I have to poke my mind's eye out.

Just how did Whetstone let that out anyway?

Reed said...

Numero Uno indeed

phil said...

Obviously not done by an OSU undergrad. To get to this level of psychosis you'd need to be in a post-graduate OSU program.

whetstonebuck said...

Sigh..., My dear, dear misguided friend, Yost.

(shaking head in a condescending display of faux pity)

Jealousy is a harsh taskmaster.
I know you yearn to be in Mascot Man's cleats and bulbous head. Yes, Virginia, America does have talent.

Crabapple Buck said...

This video makes Freakbass look like Mozart. I would apologize, but it would only fall on now deaf ears. I'm going to rewatch my 'Pure Michigan' video to 'get my mind right'.

phil said...

Am I the only one who totally misses the comparison to SHOWGIRLS?
SHOWGIRLS is unequivocally the greatest cinematic classic of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDw8tACJFt8
How is this Bucknuts video even remotely related to SHOWGIRLS?

Unknown said...

As a Buckeye fan and Ohio State graduate (with several Michigan fans and graduates in my family), I want to apologize for all of Buckeye Nation. No one was ever meant to see that video. That dude's mom should have taken his laptop out of his "apartment" in the basement and kept it in the living room where she could properly monitor her son's online behavior.

Seriously, I am very, very sorry.

Yost said...

LOL, Zac. Since we can no longer beat the Bucks in football, we have to get our jabs in where we can.

I even loved, what appear to be, three framed OSU programs hanging on the otherwise-empty wall.

Unknown said...

I think that is my buddy Steve's brother. He fell off a third floor balcony on E 13th street after shotgunning 3 beers consecutively...he hasn't been right since.

Mikoyan said...


That is so bad the song is infectious.....I've had that damn song in my head all day......

Yost said...

Yeah, I know what you mean, Mikoyan.