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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Not That There's Anything Wrong With This Coaching

MZone reader MA sent us the YouTube link and stills below from an online coaching video called SUCCESSFUL COACHING: JOHN COOPER - DEFENSIVE ENDS.

Now, a couple things caught our eye about this gem (and no, not just the title). First, in the YouTube description of the clip it states:

This program teaches fundamental techniques, drills and championship philosophy. Learn how to improve your technique and learn from one of the legends of the game. John Cooper is the 6th winningest active coach with a career mark of 179-73-6 and has led the Ohio State Buckeyes for the past 13 years. His Buckeyes have won 62 games over the past six seasons nad in the decade of the 90's Ohio State compiled an 85-23-3 record, eighth best among all Division 1-A schools and captured a national title for 2003.

Naturally, I was quite surprised to read the above as I thought Jim Tressel was the one that led Tuos to the National Title in '03. My bad.

And then there were the stills MA sent from the video that the eternal 8th grader in us couldn't help but wonder just what these drills were teaching...

"Now shower up and let's go watch some gladiator movies!"

Saturday, May 24, 2008

"You don't know, do you?"

I hadn't planned on posting anything until after the holiday. I was content to relax and stay away from my blogging addiction. Then I read a blurb in Newsweek about the clip below and I couldn't get to the computer fast enough.

Now, you know how we love our cheerleaders here on the MZone. Of course we prefer when they're female who go from pom-pons to porn, even more so after this story of male cheerleader who went from screaming on the sidelines to screaming on the airwaves.

Kevin James (not the actor) is a former Oklahoma Sooner cheerleader-turned-lawyer-turned-radio talkshow host in Los Angeles. And judging from the YouTube video here, he's one of those modern day firebrands who "prove" the validity of their points and positions, not via the content of their argument, but by being louder than those with an opposing point of view. Because no matter where you personally fall on the political spectrum, as we all know from watching the "news shows" that pass for political discourse in our country today, louder means smarter.

To set the stage for what you're about to watch, in a nutshell...

Last week, President Bush addressed Israel's Parliament and basically compared those who negotiate with "terrorists and radicals" to British leader Neville Chamberlain's appeasement of Hitler and Nazi Germany before WWII. Democrats claimed the remarks were aimed at Barack Obama, the White House denied he was the target.

Shortly after Bush made the remarks, MSNBC's Chris Matthews had KRLA's James, a "right-wing" radio talkshow host in Los Angeles, and a Mark Green, a "left-wing" radio host from Air America, on HARDBALL to discuss the brewing controversy. Below is the clip. You MUST watch. Really.

Please know, putting this up is not an endorsement of one political party, candidate or viewpoint. Whether you agree or disagree with the President's comments, James' uninformed ignorance is simply staggering. And all the shouting in the world can't hide it.

You know, folks, it's one thing for those of us talking smack on a college football blog to be full of shit. It's another when you're on a national TV show discussing U.S. foreign policy issues and presidential politics.

I mean, trying to defend your position on something as frivolous as the college football superiority of INSERT SCHOOL HERE and being wrong is sometimes funny. Being a radio host in the second largest market in America and stirring up passions on issues of real importance when you don't know what the fuck you're talking about is scary.

P.S. I just went to the KRLA website to see if this James guy still had a job (somehow he does from the looks of it) and you know what the station's slogan is? Oh, this is rich in light of the above: Intelligent. Conservative. Talk Radio.


Friday, May 23, 2008

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Hope everyone has a fun-filled holiday.

But before we all part ways for a long weekend of beer, burgers and general relaxation, I pass on an interesting YouTube video sent in by MZone reader RA. Since embedding was disabled, unfortunately I can only include the link below. But suffice it to say, you won't be disappointed.

So click here and enjoy!

New Ohio State Logo

If you know one thing about Buckeye fans besides their love of the F-bomb and a genetic need to fan out across the Internet in order to rebut any perceived slight against their university, you know they are very particular about their school name.

It's not Ohio State, it's always THE Ohio State University. Just ask them, they'll tell you loudly and in your face, the stench of Grey Goose vodka nearly overpowering.

Apparently, after years of folks confusing OSU with Ohio University or some other public institution of higher learner in the Buckeye state -- or maybe people simply referring to the school as "an Ohio state university" -- they became very militant about the "THE."

That's why, when uber-QB Terrell Pryor announced he was signing with the Buckeyes some 36 months and 58 press conferences after most high school players revealed their decisions, we were quite surprised when the prized student-athlete got one teenie, tiny thing wrong that day: namely, the name of the prestigious college football factory in Columbus he was signing with. In revealing his intentions, Pryor referred to our rivals to the south(east-ish) as "University of Ohio State." And nary a "the" to be found.


Thus, in the interest of needling our rivals where it annoys them most since we can't seem to beat them on the football field anymore, we here at the MZone have taken time out from cruising the Internet for free porn our busy schedules to design a new logo for the Bucks and their outstanding but name-challenged quarterback. Behold...

And from this point forward, we will now refer to them here as UOS or THE University of Ohio State, aka Tuos.

Ed. Note: Yes, of course t-shirts are coming soon!

Monday, May 19, 2008

College Football Fans Love Jim Delany

Don't beat around the bush, how do you really feel?

Got an email from MZone reader Matt telling us to take a look at Big Ten commish Jim Delany's Wikipedia page, specifically the "Influence" section. As Matt wrote, "You should probably hurry before someone takes it down."

He's right. Here's why...

Funniest thing about that Wiki post? The "[2]" where they actually cite a reference and strive to give proper documentation to their "complete and utter douchebag" assertion.

Who says Wikipedia hasn't fixed any problems with their fact checking?

UPDATE: Since this post, the Wiki entry has now been, uh, "updated."

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

If College Football Were Like the Democratic Party...

KEITH JACKSON: "Whoa Nellie! With less than eight minutes to play here in the 1979 Cotton Bowl, it's Houston 34, Notre Dame 12. Who would have expected this?"

KIRK HERBSTREIT: "Certainly not the Joe Montana-led Irish, the team everybody expected to win before the game was played. But with Montana on the bench here in the second half suffering from the flu and hypothermia -- even eating chicken soup to warm up -- this game is over."

LEE CORSO: "Not so fast, my friend. The Irish haven't packed it in yet and are still out there fighting until the final whistle."

KEITH JACKSON: "I gotta tell ya, I think this is bad for college football. Notre Dame is only 8-3 while Houston is 9-2 and ranked 4th. The Irish need to bow out of this game and rally behind the higher ranked Cougars. For the good of the sport."

KIRK HERBSTEIT: "Couldn't agree with you more, Keith. There are less than seven minutes left, a majority of the game has been played and Houston has amassed 34 of the 46 points awarded today. It's almost a mathematical impossibility for Notre Dame to come back--"

LEE CORSO: "Not so fast, my friend. Notre Dame just scored on a 33-yard blocked punt...and now Montana has come off the bench to try the two-point conversion...it's good! 34-20."

KIRK HERBSTREIT: "But Houston is barely competing now. They have their back-ups in and are just running out the clock until this one is over. And it's over."

KEITH JACKSON: "I gotta tell ya, you hit the nail on the head, Kirk. We got ourselves freezing temperatures, ice and 18 to 30 mile per hour winds. Stick a fork in this one because--"

LEE CORSO: "Not so fast, my friend. Montana just drove the Irish 61 yards in 5 plays and threw for another two-point conversion to cut the lead to 34-28 with 4:15 left."

KIRK HERBSTREIT: "See, that's just the kind of divisive thing that illustrates the old way of college football thinking. When a team is up by over 20 points with less than eight minutes left, college football fans want to be able to turn their attention to the next bowl game of the day. To have to watch until the very end disenfranchises fans who want to tune in to the Rose Bowl pre-game show."

KEITH JACKSON: "Whoa Nellie! And Joe Montana fuuuuuuuumbles with 1:50 to play and the Cougars recover. Now hopefully Dan Devine will do the right thing and have his squad bow out gracefully from this game."

LEE CORSO: "Not so fast, my friend! The Cougars went for it on 4th and inches from their own 29 with :28 seconds left and got stuffed! Notre Dame ball! They have one more chance!"

KIRK HERBSTREIT: "And what if they do score? Are you going to take the victory away from Houston and alienate all the fans rooting for the underdog? Fans who only tuned into the Cotton Bowl in the first place to see if little ol' Houston could upset the mighty Fighting Irish?"

KEITH JACKSON: "I gotta tell ya, the bigger problem is what if the Irish do score, but miss the extra point and we end in a tie? Then nobody wins. Then what? Especially after Houston already won the first, second and third quarters. It's going to be chaos."

LEE CORSO: "Last play...Montana rolls right...he's looking for Kris Haines in the corner of the endzone...TOUCHDOWN IRISH! TOUCHDOWN IRISH! Joe Unis lines up for the extra point...it's good! IRISH WIN! Irish win one of the greatest comebacks in college football history!"

KIRK HERBSTREIT: "I'm so disgusted by the underhanded way Notre Dame pulled this out, I'm never watching college football again."

KEITH JACKSON: "I gotta tell ya, I'm sitting the rest of the bowl season out and will only call college basketball now."

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Charity Bowl: Give for a Good Cause!


Seeing as this might be the only chance for anything associated with Michigan to participate in a bowl this year, we here at the MZone wanted to throw our support behind a good cause currently taking shape across the cfb blogosphere.

In the wake of the devastating cyclone in Myanmar, the tornadoes seeming all across the middle section of the country, the earthquake in China as well as the everyday needs in our own communities, Orson at EDSBS and Kevin at Fanblogs.com are asking college football fans to show their school spirit and help those in need today by making a donation to the American Red Cross, CARE, or the International Rescue Committee.

In turn, they'll rank the total donation by school and display it this week at Fanblogs and Every Day Should Be Saturday. The winning school will have its colors displayed at EDSBS and logo/mascot shown on every page at Fanblogs.

The particulars:

1) Make a donation online to the American Red Cross, CARE, or the International Rescue Committee.

2) Email the donation confirmation to kevin@fanblogs.com and state your team affiliation by 8pm EDT on Wednesday, May 14th.

3) Results will be displayed at Every Day Should Be Saturday and Fanblogs throughout the week, with the final results shown by Thursday, May 15th.

4) The winning school will have its colors displayed at EDSBS and logo/mascot shown on every page at Fanblogs.

And while it's not listed, I've added...

5) It's a chance for Benny and I to show our parents the MZone for a change and say, "See, look at all the good in the world we do with this!" ("No, ma, not the semi-naked ASU cheerleader story. Above that.")

So do whatever you can if you can and help paint the cfb blogosphere Maize and Blue!

UPDATE: According to Fanblogs, Meeeeechigan was the Day 1 Charity Bowl leader with its fans having donated $1,000. Florida was in second with $500.

UPDATE II: As of 7am Wednesday morning, over $11K has been raised via the CFB blogosphere and the top of the donation chart looks like this...

1. Michigan - $2,985.002. Ohio State - $2,305.00 3. Florida - $1,570.004. Texas - $480.005. Auburn - $355.00

And today, the last day of the Charity Bowl, comes with a twist: it's Rival Smackdown Day. So when you you make your donation today, note if it is FOR your school or AGAINST your rival.

Ed. Note: As of this writing, there is no truth to the rumor that Scott Frost is lobbying for Michigan to have to split the mythical donation title with Nebraska due to the fact that Tom Osborne retired 11 years ago.

(HT: OoC)

Florida Doing Best Miami Circa 1988 Impression

Remember when the 'Canes used to rule the state of Florida in both "Ws" on the football field as well as run ins with trouble off of it?

No more.

Move over Miami, the Gators have arrived.

Just a year ago, they claimed their first BCS title. Now, they're working on polishing their off the field credentials.

Last week, in the I-still-can't-fucking-believe-somebody-would-do-this category, one Gator player was charged with using the credit card of his teammate's dead girlfriend.

Then, to keep the UF momentum going over the weekend, defensive lineman Matt Patchan was shot in the shoulder at a Tampa-area park.

The good news is Patchan is expected to make a full recovery. However, the prognosis for Florida's reputation is not as clear at this time.

Uncle Buck(eye)

We all have one. You know, that uncle who makes you fear for the family gene pool.

Of course some have it worse than others.

Case in point, the email and pic below which we recently received at the MZone home office.

"I wanted to send this to you, but had to doctor it a little since it is one of my favorite uncles. Wife found it first and her exact quote was "OH NO" I am a Wolverine and she likes the Buckeyes. She shouldn't have shown it to me."

Sweet Jesus.

Two (of many) things come to mind.

First, "But it's a really old picture" is not a defense for the above. There is no time period where that was acceptable. Ever.

Second, I pray -- pray -- that this was actually supposed to be a half shirt.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mike Barwis's Cats

And you thought Michigan's new strength and conditioning coach was only tough on the players?

Hell, even his pets can't escape this workout-crazed madman as the secretly obtained clip below illustrates.

(HT: T9)

Friday, May 09, 2008

Gator Uses Credit Card of Teammate's Dead Girlfriend

This is messed up.

Florida Gator safety Jamar Hornsby has been charged for allegedly using the credit card of a woman who was killed in a motorcycle accident that also killed a teammate.

The woman, who was the girlfriend of one of Hornsby's teammates, was getting a ride home from Gator walk-on Michael Guilford when his motorcycle struck a curb at high speed last October 12th.

Hornsby allegedly started using the dead woman's credit card on October 13th.

Yeah, as in the next day!

Police are unsure how he got his hands on the credit card but EDSBS reports it happened when Hornsby was helping his teammate clean out his girlfriend's apartment the day after she tragically died.

If the allegations are true, forget getting kicked off the team, this guy needs to spend some extra time in a jail cell for the added crime of being a complete piece of shit and embarrassment to humanity.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Charlie Weis: "To Hell With Michigan"

You'd think going 3-9 would preclude a coach from talking smack. Especially talking smack about a team that bitch slapped his squad two years in a row.

Not Notre Dame's Charlie Weis.

At a gathering with fans before the Blue-Gold spring game last month, Weis had some harsh words for Michigan.

He started out saying the Irish had to make a "statement" in its season opener against San Diego State (assuming the entire school hasn't been arrested for selling dope). He then turned his attention to the Wolverines who visit South Bend the following week.

"I've always been one never to make excuses," Weis told the Domer faithful. "You back your words by your performance on the field. I think that's the message our team is going to follow on September 6 with San Diego State. I think the first opportunity we'll have to make a statement is that day."

"Then we'll listen to Michigan have all their excuses as they come running in, saying how they have a new coaching staff and those changes. To hell with Michigan."

To hear it with your own ears, check out the video below at about the 50 second mark...

Let's get it on, Big Man!

(Video HT: MGoBlog)

SDSU Redefines "Party School"

Ninety-six people -- 75 of them San Diego State students -- were arrested this week following a months-long undercover drug investigation on the California campus. Six fraternities have been suspended and all arrested students have been barred from campus until their cases are reviewed.

Police seized two kilos of coke, 350 Ecstasy pills, marijuana, psychedelic mushrooms, hash oil, methamphetamine, illicit prescription drugs, several guns and at least $60,000 in cash. Authorities allege some frat members openly dealt drugs out of their frat houses.

How openly? Well...

One Theta Chi fraternity member apparently sent a mass text message advertising special "sale" prices on cocaine since he was going to be out of town in Vegas one weekend.

Nice going, Scarface.

According to the AP story linked above, drug sale profits may have been used to finance fraternity operations. Yeah, hey, clue #1: when the frat party you go to is catered by Wolfgang Puck and the kegs are anything but the cheapest available beer, something is going on.

Among those busted were a student who was about to receive a criminal justice degree and another who was to receive a master's degree in homeland security.

And here's the kicker: one of them asked the cops who busted him if "his arrest and incarceration would have an effect on him becoming a federal law enforcement officer."

Gee, you think?

But my favorite quote comes from Theta Chi's national director who had this to say when he learned about a number of students from the SDSU chapter being arrested in the raid, "They were on the upswing. They had improved their recruitment. They were trying to raise money for a new house."

Oh, I bet recruitment was improving. And nothing like tens of thousands in drug sales to ugrade from the usual urine-smelling frat house to something more befitting Tony Montana.

Ohio State: A Team America Loves to Hate

The Daily List at SI.com recently had a post up called "Five Sports Franchises We Love to Hate."

And the nominees were...

1. Any Major Team from Boston -- Must say, with Tom Brady on the Pats, I don't feel this way. But with the Celts, Pats and Red Sox all doing so well, I can understand why other sports fans would.

2. The New York Yankees -- Steinbrenner and his Pinstriped Posse are a given on any list like this.

3. Los Angeles Lakers -- Couldn't agree more, especially with all their Hollywood pseudo-fans who always seem to be in the stands not to cheer but to be seen at the scene.

5. Chelsea -- Soccer. I don't have strong feelings about any sport where 2-0 is considered an offensive explosion.

But the reason his post is up on the MZone of course is because of the team they listed at #4:

THE Ohio State University -- The SI.com story included the following explanation as to why the Bucks made the list: "Buckeye fans have had the legs for their argument for dominance knocked out from under them lately, what with the way they keep losing in championship games. But you'd never know State can't win the big one by listening to them Buckeyes. (By the way, we get it: You're THE Ohio State University. Nice sweater vests."

Uh...what they said.

(HT: MnB)

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Exodus from A2 Continues

First, Ryan Mallett transferred to Arkansas.

Then, Justin Boren left Michigan for the Buckeyes.

Now, just when it seemed things couldn't get worse during a tumultuous off season in Ann Arbor, The Rock is packing up and heading to Michigan State.

"The family values have just gone in the shitter since Rich Rodriguez arrived," said The Rock when reached for comment by the MZone. "He's always yelling, using language like 'Paint the motherfucker!' And that Barwis guy wants people to paint me harder. I didn't sign up for that."

The Rock (no relation to the actor) said he just feels more comfortable next to the MSU "Sparty" statue where he will now be placed. "They do it right up there. They protect Sparty from getting painted before the U-M games. I was taken for granted in A2. Getting painted, two, three times a week."

"Plus, the Sparty statue is as close to a Michigan icon as you can find. They're very similar. Except for the fact that he's a big semi-naked bronze guy and I'm a stone that started out the size of a pebble before 165,872 coats of this goddamn paint over the years."

In response to a story in the MSU student newspaper, WE KAN SPELL AND SHIT, former Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr angrily denied reports that he helped The Rock get his release from Michigan or said there were "good campus icons" in East Lansing.

When reached by the MZone, other Michigan icons The Cube and The Belltower denied they too were thinking of transferring. Even still, Detroit Free Press columnist Drew Sharp claimed The Rock's departure is yet another sign of Michigan's declining status.

OSU Dorm Chief Arrested for Crystal Meth

Under the category of "shit you probably think we made up because we're a Michigan blog but didn't," Ohio State's assistant vice president for student housing has been arrested for possession of methamphetamine.

The problems for administrator Ronald Kochendoerfer (no relation to John Kochtoestin from FLETCH), began after a package he sent to a Franklin County Jail inmate was intercepted and found to contain heroin. Police then searched his home and found the crystal meth.

Which brings up an important point: when you send heroin -- hidden in GQ magazine! -- to your buddy in the slammer, for God's sake, make sure you properly conceal your crystal meth stash back at home just in case some cop gets all nosey and starts asking questions such as, "Hey, what's this big lump of powder hidden in this magazine?" It is not known at this time if Kockandballs was going to next send his prison pal a nail file hidden in birthday cake.

According to WBNS, THE University of Ohio State declined to comment on camera about the case but said it would decide Kochringuser fate after the outcome of the investigation. However, since he doesn't play football or run a 4.4 40, it's widely assumed he's completely fucked.

(HT: CS, T9)

Friday, May 02, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: ASU Cuts Cheerleading Squad

First one of them gets into porn, then they get really "Dirty."

Arizona State has cut the school's cheerleading squad after six members of the now-axed squad posed in their bras and panties on website "The Dirty." As the FOXNews story above states, while only six ASU cheerleaders are shown in the pics, the entire 16-member squad will suffer the consequences.

Seriously, ASU. Are you really going to pull the ol' first grade teacher, "If you don't tell me who did it, you all have to stay inside for recess" stuff?

So I guess this means if six ASU football players get busted for something this fall, you drop the whole program, right?

I suppose ASU officials are a little paranoid over the past, uh, "X"-ploits of some of their cheerleaders and don't want to see this again...

...Although many of our readers sure do.

Spartan Donor is Deadbeat Dad but MSU to Keep Coin

And the Father of the Year Award will probably not go to this Spartan alum.

According to the Detroit News article linked here, an MSU grad bequethed a cool $1 million to his ol' alma mater. Just one problem with that: his kids say he owes $45K to their mother for child support that was never paid.

Upon finding out about the "gift," the alleged deadbeat donor's now-adult kids asked MSU trustees that $45K of the donation -- the amount of child support money the man admits he never paid his ex-wife -- be given to their mother.

Not gonna happen, say Sparty officials.

"That's between him and them," said Joel Ferguson, Board of Trustees chairman. "We'll keep the money. He's got to get a good lawyer. It's his dad's money. We accept the gift in the spirit of giving."

"We accept the gift in the spirit of giving?" Really? Even in this instance? Ouch.

Hey, while it might not be blood money, it sure is asshole cash.

Go Green! (just not to the kids or ex-wife)

(HT: MB, JP)

Two-Minute Drill

Need to try to catch up with some of the great stuff you've all been sending our way. Let's begin, shall we?

* Former Wolverine receiver Mario "Then I Got High" Manningham was apparently stoned when he took the NFL's Wonderlic test: he scored a Vince Young-esque six. Six. Out of 50.

(HT: JW)

* Fox Sports ranks the Top 25 cfb uniforms in the land and Michigan comes in at #1. Unfortunately, with our QB situation more unsettled than the Democratic party's presidential race and more O-line depth on South Quad's intramural squad, this will probably be the only Top 25 ranking Michigan football sniffs this year.

(HT: CaliGirl)

* Tressel not a gentlemen either? Propect reneges on Illinois, commits to Tuos. Pot, meet Kettle. Kettle, meet Pot. No word yet if Tressel hurt himself after the fall from his high horse.

(HT: MB)

* Former University of Ohio State defensive end Derrick Foster has been charged with shooting two Columbus police officers during a drug raid. Thankfully, the injuries of the two officers are not life threatening and they're expected to make a full recovery.

According to the Columbus Dispatch article linked above, Foster had no criminal record, a sociology degree, a $60,000-a-year job as a Columbus code-enforcement supervisor, a $146,000 home on the South Side, a 5-year-old daughter and a valid permit to carry a concealed weapon.

So what explains his seemingly surprising turn to crime? Uh, hello! Do I need to spell it out? B-U-C-K-S-T-A-C-H-E.

(HT: LS, MB)

* Some MZone readers relaunch once-popular music website FMSound.

* Classy Bama Tees over at DeepSouthSports. Yikes!

(HT: JR and her fellow Auburn friends at TigersX.net)

* Self important? Delusional? Yep, they're talking about Notre Dame over at the NYT.

(HT: TL)

Big Day for Detroit Sports Teams: Wings, Pistons Romp

With college football seeming like a far away fantasy in the off-season dead zone known as May, I've been getting my sports fix via the Red Wings and the Pistons.

And they have not disappointed.

Yesterday, the Wings blitzed the Colorado Avalanche 8-2 to sweep the series 4-0 and move on to the Western Conference finals where they will meet the winner of the Dallas-San Jose series.

Big props to goalie Chris Osgood who stepped in midway thru the Nashville series when aging All-Star Dominik Hasek faltered. In his first tour of duty with the Wings in the 90s, even though he won a Cup, there were lingering questions about his mental fortitude. Hopefully this puts such talk to rest.

As for the Pistons, after being down 2-1 in the series and 10 points at halftime of game four against the Philadelphia 76ers, the Pistons stormed back to win game four, then post blowouts in games 5 and 6 to advance to the Eastern Conference semis against the Orlando Magic.

Go Motown!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

If AMERICAN IDOL came to Columbus...

Somewhere even William Hung is plugging his ears.

ED. NOTE: Yeah, yeah, even I admit this is just a "filler" post. But really struggling lately to keep blog going while maintaining a) a life and b) a career.