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Friday, April 13, 2007

Mother of All Buckstaches?

Many of you wrote to us about the the Columbus, Ohio man charged with seeking to help al-Qaida blow up U.S. targets in Europe such as tourists resorts. Now, while he wasn't wearing a Tosu shirt - at least that we could tell (which could possibly have been the greatest picture coincidence ever), he was sporting a certain facial feature we couldn't ignore based on where he lived - The Buckstache.


AmaizeNBlueinRedChina said...

Uh...Benny & Yost...er..like..HELLO... shouldn't it be BEER BONG FRIDAY?!!!!! Where's my weekly installment of "This is your life vs. College Life?!!!!"

G8RB8R said...

Actually, this guy, Christopher Paul, was a sleeper cell, who was to take action back on January 8,2007, in Columbus.

"Paul, who was arrested Wednesday outside his apartment, is charged with providing material support to terrorists, conspiracy to provide support to terrorists and conspiracy to use a weapon of mass destruction, which carries the most serious penalty of all - a sentence of 'life' in Columbus."

He was to come to 'life' after the Buckeyes won the national championship that night, mix in with the 1000's of Buckeyes who would be burning & rioting in the streets of Columbus, then detonate himself and take out as many Buckeyes as possible. The night of Jan 8, his plan was foiled when the Buckeyes lost to the Mighty GATORS. The biggest crowd that he could find, was 3 people at the local Fuddrucker's, became hungry,and while waiting for his order, the 3 Buckeye fans left. With no Buckeyes & his chance for 72 virgins now gone, he decided to postpone his attack to await a better opportunity.

His next opportunity arose on the night of April 2, again, the Buckeyes were playing in a national championship, and he was exhubarant over the fact that he knew 1000's of Buckeye fans would be massed shoulder-to-shoulder in the streets around the OSU campus after their victory in the Final Four.

Alas, his plot was foiled again by the Mighty GATORS, who again defeated the Buckeyes for yet another national championship. While searching for celebrating Buckeyes that night, he was stopped for jay-walking by local police, questioned & released with a warning. When asked that night why he was wandering the streets of Columbus, Paul replied that he was looking for the crowds celebrating the national championship. He was told that THAT crowd was in Gainesville, Florida, and that he had better walk a little faster to make it. The guffawing officers just assumed he was another nutty BuckNut & let him go.

When apprehended Wednesday in Columbus, police found in his apartment, a giant stuffed Albert the Alligator mascot doll from the University of Florida, that had been hacked, burned & otherwise mutilated by Paul. Authorities are puzzled by this find, and do not yet know if Albert was targeted because the Mighty GATORS foiled his plans for mass destruction, or if Gainesville was to be his next target.

maizeman101 said...

ahhhhhhh its greg oden.......i always knew he was at least 40....

srudoff said...


this guy is FROM columbus with no ties to tOSU..

the Unabomber ATTENDED Michigan...

advantage: tOSU

Dave Wentworth said...

The Unabomber was also balls-out brilliant and we still reference his work in mathematics quite often today. Its not our fault he was nuts.

Andy said...

We own Ohio State !!!!