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Monday, April 30, 2007

The Arizona Wolverines?

Apparently their experiences with John Navarre and Earnest Shazor did not sour the Arizona Cardinals on drafting ex-Wolverines. Two Michigan players, Alan Branch in the second round and Steve Breaston in the fourth round, were taken by Arizona in this weekend's NFL draft. The feeling of the Cardinals was summed up on their Web site Sunday night with this quote:

One Michigan product is good, but a second Wolverine is great.
And don't be fooled by the following picture from that same Cardinal's Web site. It's of tight end Ben Patrick of Delware who was the Cardinals' seventh round pick.

But Branch and Breaston weren't the only two Wolverines selected in the draft. They had plenty of company. Leon Hall was Cincinnati's first round pick. Lamar Woodley was a second round selection for Pittsburgh. David Harris also went in the second round to the Jets. Prescott Burgess was taken in the sixth round by Baltimore. And Tyler Ecker was a seventh round pick for Washington.

The seven players selected was among the most for any school. Now where are all those people that claimed a year ago that Michigan wasn't developing NFL-type talent when Michigan had only four players taken, and all of those late-round picks? Yes, can't wait to hear Colin Cowherd Schrutebag praise U-M on his show this week.

Mike "Super Toe" Lantry

Any Michigan fans out there know where the former U-M kicker is these days? The folks behind the M/OSU documentary are trying to get in touch with him.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Classy, mom. Classy.

In honor of playoff hockey, we bring you the clip below. According the description at Break.com "some foul mouthed mom hurls obscenities as her 28 year old son gets his ass kicked in a hockey game."

And hurl, she does. Although, what kind of mother goes to watch her 28 year old son play in his rec league game? Answer: A woman with a mouth like this.

WARNING: If you're watching this at work, turn the volume down.

Foul Mouthed Mom At Hockey Game - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Why college football stadiums have fences...

Saw this on EDSBS (via Da Wiz). It's apparently from a guy who's trying to visit all 119 D-1 college football stadiums before he turns 30. This is what he found in Cincinnati...

Orson said it best: College students+open gates+snow=penis shapes.

And hey, at least they split the uprights, so to speak.

P.S. Is it just me...or is that a third testicle? Uh, something you want to tell us, Cinci?

Welcome Autumn Thunder

Just want to give a shout out to a new Michigan site on the blogosphere block, Autumn Thunder, which promises "bad journalism, poorly drawn pictures" and "Meeeeechigan football."

If you get a chance, check it out. Even though it's new, they have some funny stuff already up such as details on a new MTV show starring U-M's athletic director you might have missed called...

Good luck with the site. And kiss your free time good-bye!

This bat was obviously made in Ohio

With all due respect to our female readers, let the clip below be a warning: Beware women swinging baseball bats as this Michigan student and/or fan found out...

Bat Vs Face - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

(HT: JR at Chattablogs.com/quintus)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Michigan Student T-Shirt Design - 2007

The 2007 Michigan student T-shirt design has been revealed by the university. We showed you the finalists last month.

The front of the shirt isn't much of a surprise. A front view of the iconic helmet, a bold "MICHIGAN," and the ubiquitous Nike swoosh. Not bad.

But the back? Let's just say it's a good thing Michigan students won't see the people laughing at them as they read the back of the tee.

OK, putting the schedule on there is pretty standard stuff for these types of things. But, gee, why do they emphasize the opponents' nicknames rather than university names? Could it be that the athletic department is a little ashamed to be playing a I-AA team and then a weak MAC team in the middle of the season? Are they trying to fool people into thinking the Mountaineers that appear at the top are from West Virginia and not Appalachian State? And maybe people will think the Eagles that show up in the middle of the schedule are from Boston College and not from down Washtenaw Avenue.

(HT: AS)

Leon Hall Goes With Nike

Michigan Wolverine Leon Hall, an All-American at DB, has signed an endorsement deal with Nike. He joins eight other NFL prospects who signed with the sporting goods giant: JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn, Calvin Johnson, Gaines Adams, Amobi Okoye, Marshawn Lynch, Adrian Peterson and Greg Olsen. The group is being promoted as part of the Nike Rookie Class 2007.

Ed. Note: In the interest of full disclosure, the tip for this story came from somebody associated with Nike. Unfortunately, however, Benny and I received no goods, services or other considerations for putting up this post. Which is a shame, really. Hell, we're whores. You'd be reading posts somehow tying U-M football to Best Buy or Wal-Mart or Dan's Plasma Shack if we could score some free shit out of this damn time suck of a blog.

4-Year Old to Colorado State: "Is that all you got?!"

Folks, let me start by saying we wouldn't even think of putting this post up if the youngster in the video below was seriously injured. Thankfully he's ok and just required some stiches. But when you watch the clip, you can see it could have been much worse.

Here's what happened...

The 4-year old boy was at the Colorado State spring football game and youth football festival with his father last Saturday. As they wandered along the sidelines during the intrasquad game, a receiver plowed into the poor kid, slamming him into a nearby wall and the ground.

Although he needed 30 stitches to close the wound, he was conscious the whole time after the injury and neurological exams were normal.

That said, here's the clip. Prepare yourself...

Best of all, CSU fans in Fort Collins are calling this the best hit by a Rams player in almost three years.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

MZone Caption Contest - Jimmy Clausen Style

We've had plenty of fun with future 4-time Heisman Trophy winner Jimmy Clausen. But when loyal MZone reader DW sent us the following picture from the USC Rivals board, we couldn't resist another opportunity to have a little more...and let our readers join in.

Thus, we're going to make this an MZone Caption Contest.

Here's what we came up with:

Hey, #26, Did you see what coach was eating on the sidelines? I think I'm going to be sick.

Leave us your best in the comments section.

Two Minute Drill

* Our good friend, Peter Bean of Burnt Orange Nation, put up a hilarious post in which he "slightly edited" ESPN's Press Release regarding their upcoming NFL Draft coverage.

(HT: K2)

* I bet Mike Cooper sure wished he lived in Wisconsin -- A law protecting library records' confidentiality has hamstrung officials pursuing a man who reportedly masturbated among the books at a Neenah, Wisconsin library earlier this month. The City Attorney said the library can't turn a surveillance video of the man over to police without a court order. Where's Carl Monday when you need him?

* Finally, thanks to all who emailed us tips in our search for the biggest Michigan fan. I have passed the info on to the folks working on the project at HBO. And if you know somebody that fits the bill, drop us an email per the link above.


Uh...I'm speechless.

Below, an Ohio State student turns to YouTube to improve his dating options. In a nutshell, he plays guitar, used to do a lot of drugs (but not anymore) and has six-pack abs. But don't take our word for it...

Ok, show of hands - who else didn't know Sanjaya went to Ohio State?

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

92,000 Crazies or 92,000 Great Fans?

This is the time of year when there's not much news about college football. Teams have just finished up spring practice, recruiting is over, and games are still an agonizing four months away. Sure, some players are still going to get into trouble and get kicked off teams, but that's hardly newsworthy unless it impacts the national championship race (or the Fulmer Cup).

So the big news starting this week is the fact that Alabama drew 92,000 fans to their spring game and, it's been reported, they turned thousands away.

Now I'm not from the South. And when spring comes around I'm more into the NBA and NHL playoffs as well as major league baseball. So the only thing I really care about Michigan's spring practice is that no one gets hurt (and I'm usually disappointed about that).

So when I saw that there were 92,000 'Bama fans for the freaking spring game, I personally scratched my head. But I think a lot of our readers might think it's cool they drew so many people, and might even be envious of the hysteria for Crimson Tide football.

So what is it, MZone readers. Are the Alabama fans great fans or are they insane? Vote below and leave your comments.

Were the 92,000 Alabama fans at the spring game....
Great, loyal fans
Absolutely crazy
pollcode.com free polls

WANTED: Biggest Michigan Fan Out There

I've been corresponding with a someone at HBO Sports. Apparently they're working on a documentary about the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry. In emailing with him, he asked if I knew of any Michigan fans they simply had to talk to for the project. Those dyed-in-the-wool Wolverine fans who bleed maize and blue.

You know the type we're talking about: people who name their kids after the team/school/coach/etc., guys who have gone to every game since my namesake roamed the sidelines in A2, folks who missed their brother's wedding because if fell on a certain Saturday in November, those who painted their houses/cars/dogs/mother-in-law maize and blue.

Thus, if you have any suggestions, please email us at our gmail address listed on the left. Tell us the person's name and why he (or she) is such a big Michigan fan. We'll pass the info on.

Please note: Don't leave any of that information here in the comments section.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Props to our Big 10 Brethren

While we're quick to poke fun at our rivals here at the MZone, we want to be just as quick to tip our caps to them when appropriate. And today, Ohio State and Penn State deserve major props. Both schools did college football proud over the weekend, paying tribute to the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre at their respective spring football games.

On Saturday, many Penn State fans attending the Nittany Lions' Blue-White game made Beaver Stadium look like more of an Orange and Maroon game as they wore the Hokie colors to show their support. The student section even spelled out "VT" and a moment of silence was observed while the Penn State band, also wearing orange, played "Amazing Grace."

The tragedy in Blacksburg last week hit close to home in State College as one of those killed was Jeremy Herbstritt, a civil engineering graduate student who had two undergraduate degrees from Penn State. Herbstritt grew up just 15 minutes from Beaver Stadium and his father works for the school's Office of Physical Plant.

According to the AP story linked above, Herbstritt's girlfriend and members of his family met with Paterno before the game, and presented him with Herbstritt's maroon Virginia Tech cap, nearing moving the longtime coach to tears. Paterno walked into a pre-game news conference with the cap in his hand.

In Columbus, the Ohio State Buckeyes wore the Virginia Tech logo on their helmets for their spring game at The 'Shoe. According to the OZone, coach Jim Tressel called Hokie coach Frank Beamer, a longtime acquaintance, first before moving ahead with the tribute.

"We called for permission to order some of their decals and put them on the side of our helmet. I didn't want to just assume that was OK without checking in and he said it was. He was honored by the gesture and he appreciated our guys thoughts," Tressel said.

Way to go, Bucks and Nittany Lions. We salute you.

I wonder if Houston Nutt took second...

A 13 year-old school girl won the U.S. Text Messaging Championship in New York over the weekend. The youngster beat out 250 competitors and trained by sending on average 8,000 text messages a month to her friends -- an astonishing rate of one every five and a half minutes.

At a hastily called news conference, Arkansas head football coach Houston "The Text Message King" Nutt denied any of the 8,000 messages were to him but said, with just a bit more practice, he could have a shot at the title next year.

"Eight-thousand may sound like a lot...if you're an 8th grader without a full-time job," said an unimpressed Nutt. "But let's see if she can put up those sorts of numbers while leading a major college football team to a bowl game. You level the playing field like that, and I bet I'd kick the kid's ass."

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Beer Bong Friday: Hot Girl-Girl Action Editon

Now THIS has it all. Man, if only all Beer Bong Friday clips were this...good.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Two Minute Drill - NPR Version

Sure, the MZone is famous for posting pictures of cheerleaders gone bad, and Beer Bong Fridays, but we're far more cultured than you might think. And that's what led to us finding out about the following couple of posts that we thought you'd be interested in, both from National Public Radio.

The first is a week old, but it's a good synopsis of the most recent Colin Cowherd fiasco, by Wall Street Journal reporter Stefan Fatsis. In typical NPR fashion, they actually spend more than just 30 seconds to get a sound bite, and the MZone even gets mentioned, though not by name. Thanks to former sideline reporter Wangs for initially pointing this one out.

The second link is a recent story that I heard in between hitting the snooze button, but found it interesting enough to eventually wake up and listen to. The story is about a blogger who tried to introduce a Code of Conduct for people who post to her site, and the interesting reaction she received. Even though Yost and I try to let most everything go around the MZone, we've been faced with a few of the issues mentioned in the story.

Longhorn productivity grinds to a halt, fans still laughing too hard at A&M counting spring game as win

As suspected, Longhorn fans are having a very good laugh at the expense of their intra-state rivals, Texas A&M, for counting last weekend's spring game as their 10th win of the 2006 season on their official site (at least until it was taken down). Judging from the responses on this link at the Hornfans.com message board, many a computer screen got a washing from the spit-take laughter of UT fans when they saw it.

Although, my co-hort here at the MZone, Benny, brings up a good point: is counting the spring game as a victory any more embarrassing than counting that first game against The Citadel as a "W"?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Some of These Licenses Should Be Suspended

I was really worried. I heard that not all of the 32 bowls played last year were going to get renewed. I mean what would we do without the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl? So I was thrilled to read that all had their licenses renewed by the NCAA.

Really. I think the person that's renewing these licenses is the same person who's renewing the licenses of all the shitty drivers I get behind when I'm in a hurry.

And who knew there were 32 bowls? Quick, name them all with bonus points for naming them in order. That also means there are 64 teams that reach the post-season in college football. I guess college basketball's post-season still has football's beat (by one team).

Speaking of the Armed Forces Bowl, which used to be the Fort Worth Bowl, it's being moved to New Year's Eve. Mercifully, it's going to played at 11:30 a.m. local time so the participants and their fans don't necessarily have to ring in 2008 in beautiful Fort Worth.

Florida Jab at OSU #684-#686

Folks, we can't begin to tell you how much fun UF fans are having with OSU after beating them in back-to-back national title games. Below is just a sample of some of the things we've received over the last couple of weeks...

Florida President unsure of what to do with Ohio State

Gainesville Sun Staff Writer
April 4, 2007

GAINESVILLE – In the wake of Florida’s unprecedented dual championship victories over Ohio State, the University finds itself with a unique and somewhat perplexing problem.

What to do with Ohio State now that Florida owns it.

According to little known and never before used “Clause 121” of the NCAA charter, when a University defeats another member University for two consecutive national championship games by “convincing margins”, the defeated University becomes the sole property of the victor.

University of Florida President J. Bernard “Bernie” Machen readily admits that he was unaware of “Clause 121”, and is unsure of what to do with Ohio State. “They have, what is it, over 54,000 students? Plus, it’s in Columbus, Ohio. It is very inconvenient.”

The University of Florida Board of Trustees is holding an emergency meeting this Friday to deal with the unprecedented situation. According to sources on the Board, initial ideas include –

Sell It – The easiest move the Board might make is simply to sell Ohio State. However, due to the University’s size, and its location in the relatively depressed real estate market of central Ohio, it may be difficult to find a willing buyer. “We are looking into this option,” Machen says. “We have contacted the Solid Waste Authority of Central Ohio to see if they need more land.”

Keep It – This option has several difficulties, but may be the only one if Florida is unable to get a buyer for fair market value. Primary among the difficulties is the large student body population of Ohio State. However, sources on the Board did say since OSU’s student population is near Florida’s 50,000, there may be a situation where Ohio State students could be lent to Florida students on a semester by semester basis as personal valets.

Florida junior Kevin Young thinks the valet idea is just swell. “Everyone should have their own pet Buckeye,” said Young. “It would be like having your own personal fraternity pledge. I think the idea rocks!”

Were Florida to keep Ohio State, issues of whether to allow OSU to keep their current team name and mascot, as well as whether to allow them to continue to play in the Big Ten, would have to be resolved. Says Machen, “I think we could reach some sort agreement that would allow them to keep Brutus Buckeye and play in the Big 10. After all, what would we do – move them to the SEC? They would only get hurt. Since they are our wards now, we could never allow that.”

The prospect also exists that Florida would have to dissolve Ohio State athletics. In that case, the issue of what to do with the student athletes is uncertain. Florida football coach Urban Meyer, when approached with the prospect of having to absorb Ohio State’s football team, paused for a moment and said, “I suppose they could be a scout team for our scout team. They really aren’t fast enough for anything else.”

(HT: MF)

And then there's this picture by Mr2Cents on GatorCountry.com (HT: G8RB8R)...

Finally, let's not forget this one from Saurian SagaCity (HT: SiC)...

A win is a win, right?

Texas A&M recorded its 10th victory of the 2006 season -- last Saturday.

Yes you read that correctly.

According to the Aggies' own website (shown below), the school counted the team's "Maroon & White" spring game as a victory for last season and even changed their overall record from 9-4 to 10-4 on the site...

Folks, this is the kind of stuff that gets a team absolutely raked over the coals by their rivals. Can you imagine what they're saying on the Texas Longhorn boards about this one? Man oh man, I bet it is ugly.

Now, as you can see here, the site has been "corrected" with the 9-4 record restored and the "Maroon & White" game returned to exhibition status. But the damage has been done. Me thinks Aggie fans are going to be hearing about this for a long time.

In a related story, there is no truth to the rumor out of East Lansing that fired Spartan head coach John L. Smith is attempting to have the winning NCAA 2008 Xbox scores of some of his former players counted toward last season in an attempt to regain his job.

ED. NOTE: We actually got the tip about the story above from a reader late Tuesday night. But, since we had already put up Wednesday's posts (and it was past my bedtime), I decided to save it for today, Thursday. Unfortunately, running a blog like a newspaper sometimes leaves one behind the proverbial 8-ball as the story was picked up yesterday by such sites as EDSBS. However, it was so damn funny, we decided to run it today anyway while cursing our laziness (and jobs that make it hard for midday blogging updates).

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Arkansas head coach Houston Nutt has released an open letter defending his handling of top recruit Mitch Mustain, claiming he hasn't been job hunting and denying he had an affair with a local TV reporter.

However, Nutt didn't deny being on the grassy knoll, being the subject of You're So Vain or voting for Sanjaya.

Nutt felt that the letter was necessary since Arkansas fans used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain his cell phone records, including instant message records he sent to the TV reporter, Donna Bragg. Those records showed Nutt exchanged 1,063 text messages with the woman between Nov. 30 and Jan. 11, including once just 19 minutes before the start of the Capital One Bowl on Jan. 1.

1,063 text messages?! In 43 days?! Is this guy a major college football coach or a fucking stalker? Folks, that works out to 24.7 messages A DAY. Just over one AN HOUR. High school kids don't send this many text messages to the girl they lost their virginity to a week before prom. Put it this way, Yost and I have been running this blog since October, 2005, and we've only put up roughly 1,400 posts. In over a year and a half!

And can you even imagine Jim Tressel or Steve Spurrier or Pete Carroll or Lloyd Carr or Mack Brown - or just about any other coach for that matter - texting a reporter less than 20 minutes before their bowl game?! Hell, Carr doesn't even like talking to them at the required press conferences!

But Nutt defended the messages.

"My communications with Ms. Bragg have concerned her work as a professional fundraiser for a non-profit organization dedicated to providing services to the developmentally disabled, her insights regarding the media, words of condolence and support regarding the loss of my mother-in-law after her battle with cancer, and information relating to her close friend who was diagnosed with cancer," Nutt wrote.


Gee, apparently the only thing Nutt didn't text this woman about was his tax return, her thoughts on world peace and how she thinks The Sopranos will end.

But hey, who are we to judge? I mean, it's totally normal for a married coach to send 1,063 text messages to a reporter in a month and a half, right? I'm sure even as we speak, Lloyd Carr is texting Drew Sharp and other members of the Detroit Free Press for their "insights regarding the media." In fact, I'll bet Carr was doing that during last Saturday's spring game.

Then again, maybe if Nutt would have been paying more attention to his team than his Blackberry, maybe the Razorbacks wouldn't have lost their last three games of the season. I guess before that he must have only been sending 20 text messages a day.

C'mon, Houston, Arkansas fans deserve better. Hell, the least they should expect is a full-time footbal coach, not somebody practicing to be the next National Text Messaging Champion.

The Virginia Tech Tragedy

Up until now, we haven't mentioned the horrific massacre that took place at Virginia Tech. This isn't due to a a lack of concern or respect. Quite the opposite. Like much of country, I have been glued to the television since I first learned about the tragic events in Blacksburg.

Although, I don't know why I continue to watch. While new information on the specifics of the fateful day continue, and will continue, to trickle out, the basic fact - 32 innocent people killed by deranged individual - hasn't changed. I guess, like many others, I keep waiting for The Answer that will never come: Why?

So I suppose I've been avoiding this post because what can we, a humor-based college football blog, possibly have to say about events and evil beyond comprehension? But to ignore it here on this site didn't seem right either.

Thus, I'll simply say that our deepest condolences go out to the friends, families and loved ones of those injured and killed during this time of unimaginable pain. I can only hope those personally affected by this heinous crime can take some small comfort knowing that they are in the thoughts and prayers of millions of people across the country.

Ed. Note: If you are interested in a making a donation to a memorial fund at Virginia Tech, click here (thanks to EDSBS for the info).

Update: Virginia Tech canceled spring football practice and the team's annual spring game as a result of Monday's murderous rampage. The game had been scheduled for Saturday.


No, this post isn't about more racist remarks by fired shock jock Don Imus. It deals with some really stupid hot chicks, the Pussycat Dolls, and, believe it or not, is at least tangentially a college football-related story suitable for the MZone.

Now, in case you're not familiar with them, the Pussycat Dolls started off in the mid 90s as a burlesque dance troupe in Los Angeles ("burlesque" being the classy way of saying strippers). But, they morphed into a pop group in 2003 and have released several hit songs including "Don't Cha."

While very attractive, no one would ever confuse them with being members of MENSA. Especially after this latest incident.

Recently, the group was opening for Christina Aguilera in Columbus. Naturally, like all singers, they wanted to suck up to and bond with the local crowd. And what better way to do that in Columbus but to be pro-Ohio State, right?


According to the Columbus Dispatch, the main Pussycat and former Wright State University student Nicole Scherzinger said to the 9,000 fans in attendance, "When I was in school, we used to hear that Ohio State was where the party was at! Is that right, y'all? Let me hear you! I know you know what to say when I say this: 'H-O!' You say . . ."

Apparently the crowd politely - if unenthusiastically - still replied "I-O."


Wright State must be so proud.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Blue-White Game

The Michigan Spring Game Scrimmage Practice was held on Saturday. The festivities capped two weeks of spring practice which saw stars such as Mike Hart and Mario Manningham not participate due to injury, and also resulted in backup RB Kevin Grady blowing out his knee.

Michigan Sports Center and Michigan Football Saturdays both have good recaps and both have pictures.

Let's just say the mid-April temperatures that barely cracked 50 degrees were probably the highlight.

Well that's not quite true. As was first seen at Varsity Blue, Verne Troyer made an appearance. Seriously.

With all the injuries and player misbehavior that led to so many freshmen and backups seeing action this spring, I have only one question: What position did Mini-Me play?

MZone Caption Contest

Leave us your best in the comments section for the picture above. Here's what we came up with...
After a heavy night of partying, Ohio State student Lisa Kelner couldn't hang on to Sloopy nor her turkey meatloaf dinner.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Ode to Michigan

Folks, it's not just the football team and U-M, but a deep love of the entire state of Michigan that we celebrate here at the MZone. As such, we pass along this touching and beautiful poem that so vividly captures the very essence of Michigan.


by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

"Shit, it's fucking cold!"

The End

(HT: GS)

Too Funny Not to Post

Nothing to do with college football but made me laugh...

What Are you Gonna Do To The Monster - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Mother of All Buckstaches?

Many of you wrote to us about the the Columbus, Ohio man charged with seeking to help al-Qaida blow up U.S. targets in Europe such as tourists resorts. Now, while he wasn't wearing a Tosu shirt - at least that we could tell (which could possibly have been the greatest picture coincidence ever), he was sporting a certain facial feature we couldn't ignore based on where he lived - The Buckstache.

Now That's Dedication

A lot can be said about Notre Dame football fans. They can be arrogant, self-centered and spoiled. But there's no denying they're dedicated. They support their Fighting Irish, even through the Gerry Faust and Bob Davie eras.

But the guy on the left below has got to take the cake - literally. To put yourself through all of that - just to look like your head coach - is the definition of dedication.

The amazing thing about him is that he put on all that weight in the offseason after Charlie Weis was hired. While Ty Willingham was the coach the guy was a toothpick...and African-American. Simply incredible.

(HT: DP)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

All right, Florida, That's Enough

First they upset the Buckeyes in the BCS Championship game. Then they defeat the tOSU basketball team in the NCAA final. Now the Florida Gators have taken something even more dear to the Buckeye faithful than helmet stickers, Woody, and the 'Shoe - the post-game riot.

Yes, they've stolen Ohio State's favorite pastime.

It reminds me of when Auburn's library had a fire and 20 books were burned. Then Gator football coach Steve Spurrier quipped, "The bad part is 15 of them hadn't been colored yet."

P.S. Was the above an isolated incident in the wake of the Gator victory or was it common that night?

Radio Blah Blah

Two radio hosts have made some news over the past week. One has been huge news on the 24 hour news channels. The other was a big story on the Web.

Don Imus, morning host on New York's WFAN - whose show was also simulcast on MSNBC - was first suspended for two weeks then dropped by MSNBC following his disparaging remarks about the Rutgers women's basketball team.

Colin Cowherd, ESPN Radio host, received a light tap on the wrist for asking his listeners to take down The Big Lead.

So which was worse? And why is one getting all the national pub and the other only making waves in the blogosphere?

Even though Imus' comments were stupid, racially charged and a sign of an old, out of touch radio shock jock trying - lamely - to be "funny," in my opinion, Cowherd's actions were worse. If you're offended by what Imus said, you can simply change the channel.

But Cowherd played the part of bully and took down a great Web site - just to show that he could. Probably choosing the site because it is often critical of ESPN. Basically, Cowherd used his "free speech" to silence those same rights of another. So even though I never listen to Cowherd, he made it impossible to "change the channel" so to speak if the "channel" you wanted was The Big Lead and it was no longer there. Plus, his actions are - at least arguably - illegal.

That's one point of view on the matter. What's yours? Which was worse? Here at the MZone, we're giving you a chance to voice your opinion (while we continue to use our really cool new poll thingamajigee).

Whose actions last week were worse?
Colin Cowherd
Don Imus
pollcode.com free polls

More to say? Leave it in the comments section.

Attention all Grand Rapids-area Readers...

Our friends over at radio station WBBL, 1340 AM in Grand Rapids, are having Chris Balas from TheWolverine.com on Bret Bakita's "On the Bench" show today. Balas is set to discuss Manny Harris and Alex Legion opening up their recruiting after the hire of John Beilein as U-M's basketball coach. The show airs from 10-Noon.

On Friday at 11:15 a.m., Bret will have Michigan's offensive coordinator Mike DeBord on to talk about Michigan's spring football game.

For folks outside the Grand Rapids area, you can listen live on WBBL.com.

Ok, we admit it -- after what happened to The Big Lead last week, we figured we better plug WBBL's show lest they launch a denial of service attack on us here on the MZone.

Worst Recruiting Video Ever

If you read the site regularly, you're probably familiar with the clip of the sexy Ohio State Video Chick trying to, uh, convince her boyfriend (or some other lucky bastard) to go to Tosu. And I'm guessing she did a good job because, even as a Michigan man, after watching her "convince," I was reconsidering my dislike for the school. Hence the reason we call it the Best Recruiting Video Ever and it occupies a place of honor among our "Best of" posts on the left-hand side of the blog.

Well, we've found the flip side to that.

Behold the Worst Recruting Video Ever below. Shot by some OSU dude showing his scuzzy dorm room for two minutes, the poor guy all but admits that he never gets laid because he sleeps on the couch each night so his roommate can shack up with his girlfriend. Although, looking at the room, I would love to know what sort of woman would get naked in there. Sweet Jesus! She she be wearing biohazard gear.

Isn't the point of having a tournament to keep this shit from happening?

In our Two-Minute Drill the other day, we gave a sincere shout out to Michigan State for winning the NCAA hockey title in thrilling fashion on Saturday night. MSU scored with 18.9 seconds left to beat Boston College and captured their first national title in 21 years.

But for somebody, winning the NCAA title apparently wasn't enough to warrant a #1 ranking.

In the final college hockey poll, the Spartans finished #1 -- yet it wasn't unanimous as MSU received only 33 out of a possible 34 first place votes.

Yep. Some joker gave their top vote to Notre Dame, which finished fourth in the poll. This is the same Notre Dame team MSU defeated in the quarter-finals.

Now, why bother with having playoffs and the NCAA tournament if a voter is just going to ignore the outcome? Sure, the Irish were the top-ranked team going into the playoffs but they didn't even make it to the Frozen Four. And the playoffs determine who's the champion...don't they? Then again, maybe this voter was going out of town and was so certain the Irish would win, he just sent his ballot in early. Like the Oscars.

Apparently pollsters, even with a playoff, have a mind of their own. No matter what the sport. But if you're not going to vote the NCAA tournament champ as your champ, you might as well just go to a bowl system in hockey, like they do in college football.

And we all know how well that works.

In a related story, NCAA hockey officials say there is no truth to the rumor that UT coach Phil Fulmer cast the lone first place for the ballot for Notre Dame after mistakenly thinking he was keeping Michigan from claiming a National Title, not Michigan State.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

M Go Banner!

Brian at the always excellent MGoBlog is choosing a new banner for his site via a banner contest made up of reader submissions. Among the finalists is a good one by regular MZone reader (and contributor) Andrew Woolley.

Click on the link above to check them all out.

They named the kid what?!?!

In what could possibly be the most emailed story tip we've ever received here at the MZone, an Ohio State fan named his newborn kid Tressel Hayes after two Buckeye coaches.

"Tressel Hayes Huffines -- sounds as sweet as an OSU victory over Michigan," said the boy's father who added, "If nothing else, it assures the Buckeye tradition stays in the family. Can you imagine someone named Tressel Hayes going to Michigan for college?"

Gee, with the father's apparent obsession with the Wolverines, I suppose the kid can at least be happy his name isn't Tressel AnnArborIsAWhore Huffines. So he's got that going for him.

More surprising, however, we can't imagine how this guy got somebody to procreate with him. Tressel Hayes? Uh, there's being a fan and there's crazy. Well, at least that's what I told my pet goldfish, Woodson Ufer Leach Canham Yost.

But to prove we're not totally heartless, Benny and I are thinking of picking up a gift for the little Buckeye bundle of joy at the previously named "Screw Michigan Store" now known as Rival Fan Gifts (although the link still says "Screw Michigan") .

Unfortunately, since we couldn't find a sweater vest one-sy, we settled on something from the store that just says, in a classy way, Welcome to the world, little man!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

ESPN Says "Zero Tolerance" for Cowherd Antics...Next Time

The new ESPN ombudsman responded yesterday to radio host Schrutebag (previously known as Colin Cowherd) using the airwaves to incite his listeners to launch a crude Denial of Service attack on the sports blog The Big Lead last week.

In only her second column on the job, Le Anne Schreiber said the ombudsman's mailbag was "jammed with dozens of messages of outraged complaint" and that "some of the politer terms my correspondents used to describe Cowherd's behavior were immature, irresponsible, arrogant, malicious, destructive and dumb. I agree."

Hats off to Schreiber for responding so quickly and unambiguously. We agree with her agreement.

However, she goes on to say the initial official ESPN response wasn't quite as strong. How not strong? Well...

"Our airwaves should not be used for this purpose. We apologize."
Yep, that was it. A whopping 11 words. And Schreiber didn't think it was enough either....

"It is the kind of bland public statement that does little to assuage the anger and distrust of ESPN's audience over an episode like this. I could not tell from that statement how seriously ESPN regarded the offense, so I contacted Traug Keller, senior vice president, ESPN Radio, to get a clearer idea of ESPN's reaction.

Keller responded immediately to my request for an on-the-record statement. "We talked to Colin Cowherd, and we talked to all our radio talent, making it clear that you cannot do this," Keller said Friday. "Our airwaves are a trust, and not to be used to hurt anyone's business. Such attacks are off limits. Zero tolerance. I can't say it any stronger."

Keller said that he had not formulated a policy about such attacks on Internet sites until now because he had never imagined the possibility of them.

I appreciated Keller's quick, forthright response.

Now that ESPN Radio has such a policy, I presume such attacks will be treated as an offense that warrants suspension.

In other words, watch out...because next time we're going to be really serious about this. Which as King Kaufman states in his excellent Salon.com column on the incident means basically, "Cowherd escapes punishment because he managed to find a way to viciously attack someone that his boss hadn't thought of" and adding later, "Imagine if you killed someone by drowning him in a giant vat of cinnamon pudding and you got off, the district attorney saying, 'There's no law against drowning someone in a giant vat of cinnamon pudding because it never occurred to anybody that someone would make cinnamon pudding. But make no mistake! The next guy who kills someone with a giant vat of cinnamon pudding ...'"

So true.

And how does The Big Lead feel about everything that's happened? Click here to see what they said about last week's events and click here to read their thoughts on Schrutebag's seemingly less-than-sincere on-air apology at the end of his show yesterday.

Finally, I say props to our MZone readers and others across the blogosphere whose comments to Ms. Schreiber are what "jammed" her mailbag with the above-mentioned "messages of outraged complaint." You deserve credit for bringing this matter to her attention and keeping folks like Schrutebag from using their position to silence those they don't agree with.

Even if it takes another incident for the consequences of such actions to finally kick in.

Who's In Your Five?

No, this isn't the MZone's first ad. This is a question about ring tones.

I was at lunch last week and I heard someone's cell go off. No big surprise there. But was kind of a surprise was that the ring tone was The Victors, and though I was still in Big Ten country, I wasn't in Michigan. It seemed as if everyone around me recognized the tune, though I was happy to hear that there were no catcalls from anyone in the restaurant.

I didn't know the person who was the Michigan fan, but it made me think about ring tones. I've heard quite a few in the office, and most of them cause me to snicker. I just never pictured Ray in Accounting to be such a big Avril Lavigne fan. And that may be why I've never bought a ring tone - I've always gone with whatever came with my phone.

But I would imagine our readers have a wide variety of tones. So vote below and leave some comments about some of the funniest or most embarrassing ring tones you've ever heard.

What do you use for your ring tone?
College fight song
Favorite song of all time
Current popular favorite
Something embarrassing
I'm a vibrate guy
pollcode.com free polls


Dear Soon-to-be-pissed-off Ohio State fan,

Look, you know we give you guys a lot of shit around here. I mean, what are old rivals for, right? But neither Benny nor I had anything to do with the making of the clips below. We just found them on YouTube. So take it up with your friends in Gainesville.

Your pals,

Benny & Yost

Blogosphere has a lot to say about latest Cowherd incident

As you know, we were a little hot under the collar when we heard that our favorite radio host, ESPN's Colin Cowherd, urged his listeners to sabotage a sports blog called The Big Lead last week.

Well, apparently we weren't alone.

The site called Awful Announcing (no, it's not Cowherd's home page) compiled a list of some 30 other blogs that posted on the topic as well. Take a look. There's some good stuff there. And you must absolutely read the post on the subject by Nation of Islam Sportsblog. Pure genius.

Two-Minute Drill

Today, we have the ultimate potpourri in the Two-Minute Drill. Behold...

* Above the Law, a legal tabloid is down to the final four in its quest to crown "America's Coolest Law School." In one bracket, UVA is squaring off against Georgetown. And in the other, Michigan faces NYU. Click on the link above to vote. Remember, Michigan fans, we have to take these Final Four opportunities where we can get them. (HT: T9)

* Don't Drink and Drive...unless you're on a zamboni. A NJ zamboni operator had been charged with drunken driving after a fellow employee at the ice rink told police the machine was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards. Police said Peragallo's blood alcohol level was 0.12 percent. But...

A judge ruled that the four-ton ice rink-grooming machines aren't motor vehicles because they aren't usable on highways and can't carry passengers. In a related story, Ohio University football coach Frank Solich is said to be looking to lease a zamboni. (HT: JK)

* A Chinese woman survived a six-story fall because she landed in a huge pile of shit. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently the woman was hanging laundry out on her apartment balcony when she somehow fell. But, "luckily," workers just happened to be emptying the septic tank which had not been emptied for quite some time according to the new story above.

* A sincere tip o' the hat to the MSU hockey team which captured its third NCAA title (and its first in 20 or so years) by beating Boston College Saturday night in the finals.

* Uh...did Roger Ebert really say that? While he was sober?

* What do Bob Dylan, the Rose Bowl and Victoria's Secret models have in common? Uh, we're not sure either but our friends at Cole Slaw Blog have managed to find a connection.

* Finally, several of you emailed us regarding Ohio volunteer fire fighter Steven Cole. He was arrested recently for drunk driving and indecent exposure. How does one get arrested for both of those things at the same time? Well, uh, check out his "mug shot." It might offer a few clues...

Yes, nothing to do with college football. And it would be a stretch to even knock OSU on this one. But that photo (and the others in the link above) warranted some sort of mention for an off-season post.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Happy Easter

Hope everybody has a great holiday weekend.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Colin Cowherd: Douchebaggery, The Sequel

As many of you may know, last year, ESPN Radio "host" Colin Cowherd ripped off one of our bits on the MZone. When we and some of our readers pointed this out to him, CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst responded via email like a total tool to us and the others who wrote to him.

Only when a host of fellow sports bloggers, the good readers at Fark and numerous other non-sports sites across the Internet rallied to our defense, wrote to the ESPN Ombudsman and started to push the story outside the realm of the blogosphere did Coward finally issue an apology five days later.

Unfortunately, we learned yesterday that Cowherd's up to his assclown ways again. And what he's doing this time is even worse.

In a nutshell, on his radio show yesterday, Cowherd - for reasons unknown - urged his listeners to basically launch a DNS attack against a sports site, The Big Lead, for the specific purpose of overwhelming the site and shutting it down (additional info here at Deadspin). Not only did it work but, as of early Friday morning, it was still down.

Thanks to Brian from MGoBlog, below is a partial excerpt of what Cowherd said...

Not only is what he did dicky, childish, immature, douchebaggeriffic, etc., etc., etc., I'm wondering if it's also illegal. I mean, using the public airwaves to incite people to launch an "attack" whose only aim is to purposely sabotage the site?

While that's a question we can't help with, we here at the MZone wanted to throw our support behind the folks at The Big Lead the same way others rushed to our aid last year. As such, here is a link to leave comments for the ESPN Ombudsman:


The person's name is Le Anne Schreiber, a former New York Times sports editor who just took over the position last month. I urge all our readers to write to her - in a calm and respectful tone - about, what I believe, is a blatant abuse of the public airwaves (I make the comment about being calm and respectful regarding any correspondence with Ms. Schreiber so as not to detract from The Big Lead's issue).

Furthermore, if anybody has the email address for ESPN President George W. Bodenheimer and/or ABC Radio head William (John) J. Hare, please let us know and we'll post them so that they may be contacted about this classless - and possibly illegal - move as well. This sort of thing just isn't right.

UPDATE: Thanks to one of our readers...

george.bodenheimer (at) espn (dot) com

john.hare (at) abc (dot) com

UPDATE, PART II: Reader JPL left a good idea in the comments section saying, "If any of you have a digg account, please digg the story here and get it on the front page. If you don't have an account, you should get one. Getting the story on the front page would greatly help expose this guy, since millions read digg.com."

UPDATE, PART III: From Deadspin today regarding the above, "The guys at KSK have been trying to come up with a universally accepted name for which Cowherd shall heretofore be known, and they have settled on 'Schrutebag.' We find that one perfect. From now on, he's Schrutebag."

Thursday, April 05, 2007

MZone Caption Contest: Florida vs. OSU Edition

Yes, it's time once again for another MZone Caption Contest. Give us your best for the above. Here's what we came up with...

After beating them in football and basketball, Florida again topped Ohio State in the finals of the NCAA Two Cars Smashed In A Garage Championship.

In a related story, Michigan failed to even make the TCSIAGC tournament for the 6th year in a row and has fired its coach.
Leave us your best in the comments section.

Introducing Rookiepedia

Got an email from Brian, who has been running a Jets blog but recently started a much bigger undertaking. I'll let him explain...

A few months back, some of the other writers for my blog were trying to compile data about draft prospects and we ran into a wall on how to display it. The idea came up to try a Wiki. With so many pay-for sites out there, we wanted this to be different, a site to which anyone could contribute.

The goal is to provide a forum for NFL and NCAA fans to exchange and refine information on collegiate prospects. For example, no one would know better what a player like Adam Carriker is capable of than a Huskers fan, so why not leverage that knowledge?
Sounds good to us.

Brian's site is called Rookiepedia.com and, while it's just getting started, they have put a bunch of information into it. And with the draft fast approaching, Brian asked if you, the loyal MZone readers, could check it out, and even hone some of the information on the site.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Florida Oreo

We've all heard of the Grand Slam in golf and the Triple Crown in horse racing. Well, I submit that the University of Florida has added another sporting achievement to the lexicon of collegiate athletics: The Oreo.

Two solid NCAA basketball titles on the outside surrounding a delicious, creamy BCS football title in the center.

And I Thought The Oscar Goody Bag Was Cool

Here's one more reason the NCAA is such a hypocritical organization. They go on and on about protecting the sanctity of amateur athletics. They won't let a coach buy McDonald's for a kid who forgot his wallet, or won't allow the school to help out a kid who has to fly home to attend a funeral.

But let that kid go to a bowl game and he can really rake in the goodies. According to an article in the print edition of Sporting News, each player on Ohio State and Florida took home a portable XM Satellite radio, a commemorative Tourneau watch, and a bunch of munchies.

But they weren't the only players to partake in Goody Bag craziness. And the goodies varied greatly by bowl.

Sun Bowl participants got Helen of Troy hair dryers. The Independence Bowl gave away George Foreman grills. Music City Bowl participants received Swiss Army watches. The GMAC Bowl gave lead crystal footballs. And the crappiest handout had to come from the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl which gave Chick-fil-A watches and calendars. Thanks guys.

The only bowls that came close to the title game freebies were the Champs Sports Bowl (15-inch flat screens with DVD players) and the Alamo Bowl (Sony PlayStation Portables).

I only have two questions: 1. Does the IRS know about this? and 2. How the hell do the Peach Bowl players end up with calendars while the Champs Sports Bowl guys get flat screens? Something's not right with that.

This is why Brian is so good

There's a reason our niche here at the MZone is of the comedic variety -- because nobody does the Xs and Os of Michigan sports better than Brian at MGoBlog. Case in point, this post on the 1-3-1 zone that new Michigan basketball coach Beilein is known for.

Hell, if Beilein reads it, he might just offer Brian a position on his staff.

Oops! I can see your "Virgina"

Sometimes it's just too easy.

Last Thursday, the West Virginia Mountaineers won the NIT tournament (previously known as the U-M Invitational). Following the game, the team - as do all winning teams after a big game - immediately put on commemorative t-shirts. Only one teeny, tiny, little problem...

Yep, somebody spelled "Virginia" wrong. Now, as folks ready West Virgina Virginia is stoopid comments, just know that the Mountaineer sports information director said the NIT was responsible for printing the shirts, not the school.

This story also serves as Reason #189 that playing in the NIT is more punishment than reward and a shitty way to end a season.

(HT: LM, PG)

Breaking News: Beilein to Coach Michigan

Speaking of West Virgina...

The Detroit News is reporting that WVU's John Beilein will become the new basketball coach at the University of Michigan. The paper cited multiple sources including the father of U-M recruit Kelvin Grady.

While Michigan officials have had their sights set on Beilein since firing Tommy Amaker last month, and despite the fact that the 54 year old coach has a strong rep as a creative Xs and Os man who gets the most out of his players, some Michigan fans are already concerned that the New York native won't be able to recruit in Detroit and Flint.

Ah, just like the Michigan fan base -- the ink isn't even dry on the contract but the natives are restless and somebody out there is probably already buying up FireBeilein.com. Typical.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Kneel Before Zod!

It's official: The University of Florida is the supreme ruler of the college sports universe and the rest of us are all just their bitches.

Last night in the NCAA final, Florida won its second basketball title in a row, beating Ohio State 84-75 by shooting something like 98.6% from behind the 3-point arc. Their latest basketball title comes just three months after the Mighty Gators grabbed the BCS title in football, a title in which Ohio State again played the of Second Best Bitch.

Florida is the only school in history to hold the title in the two biggest men's sports at the same time.

They also are close to grabbing the title of Most Hated School in Columbus away from the University of Michigan.

Vote Sanjaya

Nothing to do with college football but since we're still a couple months away from when Florida and Ohio State again meet to determine the national champion in another sport, we thought this some funny off-season filler...

Howard Stern - and apparently some others, specifically the website Vote For The Worst.com - are trying to derail the TV juggernaut, AMERICAN IDOL, by telling people to vote for Sanjaya Malakar, perhaps the least talented finalist in the show's history. If you haven't seen him, this kid makes 1 a.m. karaoke at the campus hangout look like Grammy material.

By promoting Mr. Malakar, Mr. Stern says he hopes to turn the talent competition into a farce and destroy its popularity. Adding an interesting twist to Stern's goal is fact that Simon Cowell has said he'd quit the show if Sanjaya wins.

Now, with a big pre-teen fan base, I don't know if Stern is what's fueling Sanjaya's easy sailing recently (he hasn't been among the bottom vote getters the last couple of weeks) or if Cowell really would give up the multi-millions by leaving the show, but it sure would be interesting to find out how far Fox would go to protect its Golden Goose and keep the Talent Train Wreck that is Sanjaya from winning. Might it turn into the modern day equivalent of the Twenty-One quiz show scandal?

Monday, April 02, 2007

Man shoots two to watch brother's college football scrimmage

This story is just mind boggling for its sadness, brutality and bizarreness:

A 24-year-old man shot and wounded one person then killed another while stealing their cars in order to go watch his brother's spring scrimmage at South Carolina.

Police say Demetrius M. Pepper, brother of South Carolina junior lineman Nathan Pepper, shot the first victim to steal a car outside a convenience store and, when it broke down, fatally shot a 60-year-old woman in the face to steal her car. He was arrested outside Williams-Brice Stadium Saturday where the Gamecocks were having their spring scrimmage

Pepper was charged with murder in one county and assault and battery with intent to kill and possession of a weapon during a violent crime in another.

If a tree falls in the forest...

Last Friday, federal authorities charged a University of Toledo football player in connection with a point-shaving scheme.

The player, "Scooter" McDougle Jr., allegedly recruited other players for the scheme which was orchestrated by a Sterling Heights, Michigan man identified only as the single-named "Gary."

According to the complaint, ol' "Gar" invited the athletes to gamble and dine at Greektown Casino in Detroit. One player was offered $10,000 to sit out a football game, while others received cash, groceries, merchandise and other gifts.

"Scooter," a 22 year old senior, told FBI investigators he received a car, telephone and other items of value from "Gary." But "Scooter" claims he never changed the way he played to affect the outcome of games (nor outed CIA agent Valerie Plame to Robert Novak).

I guess my big question after reading this story was, uh, if somebody was shaving points at Toledo, how on earth could you tell? I mean, you say point shaving, I say typical crappy Toledo play.

I leave for a couple days and...

Yost. Yost, Yost, Yost.

Last week, I was out for a few days with the worst cold I've had in years. So when I get back to work Friday to see what nuggets my blogging cohort Yost put up while I was convalescing, I discover the MZone has become the T&AZone. Between stories about girls masturbating at fraternities and half-naked tOSU co-eds making out, it was like Cinemax Skinemax at 2 a.m. (not that I know about that, of course).

My God, what happened to talk about Michigan football? The mocking of the fans of that team in our own conference that dominates the two most important college sports? In short, where is the clean, wholesome family entertainment people have come to know and expect around here like the Blog Co-ed Showdown and the Greatest Recruiting Video Ever.

Now, I haven't checked our site meter yet, but I can't imagine we picked up many new readers with you peddling your smut disguised as MZone material. Because our audience is better than that. They want strictly X and Os about college football, not XXX about hot co-eds.

That's why, now that I've returned, I'm ready to get the MZone back on track.

Later this week, I will begin my daily series that analyzes each position for Michigan, starting Thursday with the guards along with a look back at the history of offensive line adjustments in the 60s and 70s vis a vis different defensive schemes. No more semi-naked chicks. Just football, football, football. Period.

Okay, okay, I'm just kidding. But I promise we'll talk football at some point before August.

And for those who can't live without pictures of scantily clad women - but still have to keep their cubicle jobs - I present some hotties who will still get the blood flowing but do it with class.

Note the difference, Yost.