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Friday, March 31, 2006

So Bad It's Good: The New M Zone Fight Song

When I was at Michigan, somehow, someway (I've long since forgotten the exact details), one of my college roommates stumbled across a song by 80s heavy metal band, W.A.S.P. called ANIMAL (Fuck Like a Beast). The tune was so bad, it was good and it became an inside joke at our place at school. We laughed our asses off each time we heard it. Hell, it was even our "closer" at keg parties (and you thought a bunch of drunks screaming "Mony, Mony" was messed up).

Long story short, I was talking to my former college roommate recently, taking that walk down memory lane that often occurs when one chats with an old friend but a couple times a year; as college recedes futher and further into life's rear view mirror. Well, one of us busted into a F.L.A.B. lyric and we started laughing like we were juniors all over again.

After we got off the phone, on a whim, I went to YouTube to search for W.A.S.P. tunes and, lo and behold, someone had actually posted live concert footage for this masterpiece! Apparently I wasn't the only one who liked to hum along to "Fuck Like a Beast" during the work day and at social functions.

Thus, I decided to share the genius that is W.A.S.P. and make this old college favorite the unofficial official M Zone fight song.

Now, to truly enjoy a well crafted song such as this one, I think it helps to be able to sing along to the lyrics. And these lyrics, well, they rank right up there with best of Lennon and McCartney. So get ready, oh loyal M Zone reader, as we proudly present...

ANIMAL (Fuck Like a Beast) by W.A.S.P.

I got pictures of naked ladies
Lying on their beds
I whiff that smell and a sweet convulsion
Starts a-swelling inside my head
I'm making artificial love for free
I start to howl, I'm in heat
I moan, I growl and the hunt drives me crazy

I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love

I'm on the prowl and i watch you closely
I lie waiting for you
Well, I'm a wolf with the sheepsskin's clothing
I lick my chops and you're tasting good
I do whatever i want to do, ya
I'll nail your ass to the sheets
A pelvic thrust and the sweat starts to sting ya

I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
Come ride, savage seduction Ride, ride, ride!


I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love



Now that you have the lyrics memorized, sit back, relax and sing along at the top of your lungs (especially if you work in an office with cubicles).

Good luck getting this song out of your head this weekend. Sorry 'bout that.

And special thanks to Baggy Pants Devil for updating the M Zone logo with the threatening, scary heavy metal umlaut proving for all the blogosphere to see that, from this day forward, we officially rock!

M Zone's Expanded NIT Coverage

We lost.

Thursday TOC

Scroll down today to find:

* The M Zone releases its own 2006 College Football Odds
* This is art?
* NITchigan
* Little League sponsored by BALCO?

2006 College Football Odds

Saw on TrojanWire that an online sports book has just released odds on teams winning the 2006 National Championship. The Favorite? Tosu at 5-1 while the Wolverines go off at 20-1.

Among some of the other teams listed, reigning champ Texas is listed at 7-1 to repeat, ND is 6-1 and fellow Big 10er Pennsylvania State University is 25-1.

While those are are all very interesting, we here at the M Zone sat down and came up with some of our own odds for the upcoming season...

2-1: Odds of Michigan State starting the season 5-0
1-2: Odds of Michigan State finishing the season 1-6

3-1: Odds of Tennesse having a QB controversy
1-3: Odds of Steve Spurrier beating Phil Fulmer's team anyway

5-1: Odds of West Virginia living up to expectations
1-5: Odds of Morgantown being torched by students if they don't

4-1: Odds of Fresno State beating a ranked team
1-4: Odds of Fresno State losing to two WAC teams, a community college and a PeeWee squad that same season

2-1: Odds of Florida State losing a game on a missed field goal
1,000-1: Odds of Bobby Bowden actually being able to see it

2-1: Odds of Michigan starting the season ranked in the AP top 10
50-1: Odds of Michigan actually deserving it

6-1: Odds of Sooner QB Rhett Bomar being arrested for minor in possession again
1-35: Odds of all charges being dropped by local officials if he leads Oklahoma over Texas this year

7-1: Odds of Penn State repeating its 2005 success
2-1: Odds of Joe Paterno's pants being even higher than Michael Jackson's in the Thriller video

5-1: Odds Brady Quinn will win the Heisman in December
75-1: Odds Laura Quinn's engagement to AJ Hawk will last that until then

1-1: Odds of a true college football fan missing an important life event in order to watch a big game
1,000,000-1: Odds of them regretting that decision.

Damn, we can't wait for September!

Have some odds we missed? Feel free to leave a comment.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Uh...what the hell is this supposed to be again?

No, the ASU cheerleader hasn't been immortalized in statue form... yet. The picture here is of the sculpture by Daniel Edwards which he says is meant to show pop star Britney Spears giving birth.


We here at the M Zone thought it was a sculpture showing how she got pregnant in the first place.


Tonight the Wolverine basketball team will be going for their second NIT title in the past three years (and third in the last ten years…wait, that season doesn't exist anmyore). Though it's better to win this tournament than to be knocked out early, it's still not as good as making the NCAA tournament, which Michigan hasn't done since 1998.

We at the M Zone believe this kind of ineptitude is deserving of a nickname.

Yes, we know our rivals have branded us with nicknames in the past. Tosu fans seem to love referring to us as "scUM" (the clever cousin of "Fuck Michigan") while Pennylvania State University folks are big advocates of calling U-M "Meatchicken" (uh...what?). And we're not above making fun of ourselves, especially when our once-proud hoops team is mired in mediocrity of late. Thus, we're giving ourselves a derisive nickname. When referring to Michigan basketball, if you want to mock, if you want to make fun, call us "NITchigan." It's good, it's fair and it sums up our program these days...unfortunately.

And you have a good nickname for your own team, let's hear it..

It's because of nutriton and training, right?

Starting this year, the Little League World Series is pushing back the fences 20 feet in an effort to cut down on home runs. Instead of redesigning the field, might we suggest the Little League World Series cut down on 14 year old kids from the Dominican Republic and other places posing as 12 year olds. Just a thought. You know it's a telltale giveaway when some of the kids are driving to the games themselves.

Then again, maybe it's all about "the cream and the clear." Even in the minor-minors.


Scroll down today to find:

* Five Days: The Story of the MZone/ESPN Radio Crisis (Don't take this story below too seriously. We didn't)
* Killer Calls - We're asking college football fans across America what calls still haunt them
* Speaking of bad calls, more on U-M wrestler Ryan Churella
* Michigan Rolls in the soon-to-be-renamed Michigan Invitational Tournament

A Nation Remembers: Five Days in March

On Wednesday, March 22, eight jokes from the M Zone were used on Colin Cowherd's nationally syndicated ESPN Radio show. For five days, the nation held it's collective breath as this crisis continued to escalate. Would Cowherd attack from the flank with another email assault? Would the MZone boys fire back with another PhotoShop salvo? There seemed to be no end in sight until the crisis ended with Mr. Cowherd's March 27th radio broadcast.

Reporter Bob Pickler was embedded at MZone headquarters during the entire Cowherd/MZone controversy. Below is his report during the final hours of the heated conflict.

Emotions were all over the map at MZone headquarters as the staff listened to ESPN Radio and Colin Cowherd's show Monday during which he gave full props to the MZone for the Wonderlic test read on his show last week. As word of Cowherd's remarks began to spread outside the MZone headquarters, church bells rang, car horns blared and one only-slightly-overweight girl even considered kissing Wangs (but didn't).

"Our long period of national suffering is now over," said co-editor Benny after returning from an undisclosed location where he rode out the conflict. MZone founder Yost had decided it was best for Benny to stay in a seperate, secure location in case ESPN brass attempted a decapitating strike against MZone HQ during the bruhaha that very nearly escalated into a donnybrook.

"It was strictly a precaution, but one we felt we needed to take," said Yost. "When the Onepeat fanatics joined the fray and started leaving comments, it was simply the prudent course of action."

College football fans across America knew something was seriously amiss when even Buckeye fans rallied around the maize and blue cause.

"That could have been us in their shoes," said O-Zone member MichiganCan LickMyBigHairy NutSack427. "But by the grace of God - and by God, I mean Tressel - that could have been one of our 'Fuck Michigan, you cock sucking faggots!' bits being read on the air with no credit. Although, we are trying to trademark "Fuck Michigan" so that will never be a problem. Either way, we supported them this time. Now that it's over, we think they're all big fags again. 4-1! We own you bitches!!"

Even Michigan State fans weighed in saying they'd support their hated intra-state rivals if it meant "we can burn couches and stuff if there are riots."

But, with a simple four and a half minute address to the nation Monday afternoon, Colin Cowherd defused the situation and the crisis was no more.

"We here at the M Zone owe a sincere debt of gratitude to all those who supported us during the darkest hours of this crisis," said an obviously relieved Yost while watching the Ohio State Video Chick clip for the 783rd time. "To Deadspin, EDSBS, MGoBlog, Fark, TuckerMax, VodkaPundit, FireJoeMorgan, DawgSports, Burnt Orange Nation, MaizeNBrew and so many others, thank you."

Rumors quickly spread that things at the MZone would now return to normal. BaggyPantsDevil was more pointed, saying, "I hope this means we can go back to semi-naked cheerleaders and shit."

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Killer Bad Calls

They usually have a title: The Desmond Trip, Clockgate or Fifth Down and leave a taste in your mouth akin to warm beer from a day-old tailgate party. We're talking about games that were clearly decided by a referee's call (or non-call) that (usually) go against "your" team. Calls and games that stick with college football fans long after the 4th quarter, and even the season, have ended. Like the ugly grenade who won't leave her hot friend's side at the bar so you can make your move, these games never leave your consciousness.

Last week we posted about a Miami fan's contention that Tosu's national championship in 2002 should be nullified since they benefited from a pass interference call that he felt should never have been. Whether the call should have been made is debatable. But it does fit the category - a questionable call by a referee on the last, or nearly last play of the game, that undoubtedly decides the result of the game.

The first two bad call games mentioned above involved Michigan. Sadly, those are much too easy for us to remember here at the M Zone. And though many Michigan fans might not believe this, the Wolverines aren't the only team to lose a game because of a bad referee call. So let's hear from fans of every school: What was the worst ref call that cost your team a game?

Let's try to keep this to one distinct call, not a pattern of bad officiating throughout a game (e.g., 2005 Alamo Bowl where it hurt both teams, or the Michigan-Iowa game last year where the Wolverines got some early benefits). The call has to have come late in the game, perhaps on the last play. And without this call, the result most likely would have been reversed. Rebuttals to any of the complaints are welcome as well.

So, which games and calls still haunt you, oh, M Zone reader and lover of all things college football?

Was that NCAA Wrestling? Or WWF?

U-M wrestler Ryan Churella, who was...how should be put this? Oh, yeah...

HOSED by the refs in the NCAA championship match of the 165-pound division on March 18th is still stinging from the loss according to a story in the Ann Arbor News. And who can blame the guy? The incident caused one of the biggest outrages in NCAA tournament history and video of the event is making its way around the Internet.

In fact, at the of blog of Tom Franck, a former state wrestling champ and U-M alum, he's found pictures proving just how much the refs were on the side of the Oklahoma State wrestler.

P.S. Props to Okie State fans who, according to the A2 News article linked above, sent emails to Churella saying he should have won the match. Very classy, folks. Very classy indeed.

March Badness

I should have known it would be a mostly unsatisfying evening when I found out the Wolverine hoops team would be taking on a beer that only Wangs would drink.

The game got off to a bad start for several reasons. First, the broadcast was relegated to ESPN2 so that the mother ship could broadcast a women's tournament game. Boy, has our program sunk to new depths. Second, Michigan was wearing those awful white uniforms with the siver material at the shoulder. Third, Amaker's group soon found themselves down 21-14. But the most uninspired 10-0 run put the Wolverines up for good, thanks to 20 straight missed shots by ODU. Finally, the crowd was actually for Old Dominion. Wait, isn't this game being played in Ann Arbor East, otherwise known as New York? Were all the U of M alums in too big of a hurry to head back to Jericho, Roslyn, and Merrick to support the Wolverines in their seemingly annual trip to the NIT Final Four?

Michigan played solid for the last 30 minutes of the game and ran away with a 66-43 victory. Of course that's frustrating in and of itself, for it shows how this team could have been much better and should have been a first or second round loser in the NCAA tournament, which would have been much more satisfying.

So the Wolverines try to win their second NIT in three years on Thursday night against South Carolina who beat Louisville. Finally, Michigan fans can get revenge for George Rogers and the Fire Ant defense beating Bo and the Boys back in 1980.


Scroll down to see:

* With the issue now resolved, our final word on last week's radio controversy
* Proving we're back to that same ol' blog you know and love, we give you the results of the latest M Zone BCS Clash

As always, thanks for reading.

Cowherd Gives M Zone Credit, Issue Resolved

Yesterday on his show, ESPN Radio host Colin Cowherd gave the M Zone full credit for the Wonderlic bit he read on the air last Wednesday. He took responsibility for the episode and was very classy. As such, case closed.

Of course, there is good news and bad news to this controversy being behind us...

GOOD NEWS: It's over
BAD NEWS: We actually have to come up with new shit now

GOOD NEWS: Online traffic way up
BAD NEWS: Bosses know something really fishy was going on last few days at "work"

GOOD NEWS: All the great new readers
BAD NEWS: Handful of crazy, crazy, CRAZY folks that have access to computers (Please, get help)

GOOD NEWS: So cool to get hundreds of emails
BAD NEWS: Sucked ass trying to respond to them all

GOOD NEWS: Support from all the other guys who have blogs and websites
BAD NEWS: No chicks (probably because we still use the term "chicks")

GOOD NEWS: Hearing our blog mentioned on a nationally syndicated radio show
BAD NEWS: Still, no chicks

Finally, I know it might be hard for folks to believe, but we here at the M Zone sincerely wish Mr. Cowherd continued success on his show and with his career.

And in case you missed it, here is the clip from yesterday's show (full show available here):

this is an audio post - click to play

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Ashley in a nail-biter over B.O.B.

In by far the closest contest to date in the M Zone BCS: Blog Co-ed Showdown, Internet sensation/Cal State Fullerton softball player, Ashley, took down "B.O.B.," the Bent Over Buckeye, by a mere 11 votes, 53%-47%. In fact, it was so tight, if this were Florida and not our blog, there would be a re-count and a Supreme Court showdown.

Ashley now moves on to the Elite Eight where she faces an even bigger Internet sensation (at least on our site): Dana, the Ohio State Video Chick.

Monday TOC

Back to the grindstone. On this fine Monday, scroll down to find:

* Will the M Zone/Cowherd dispute come to a close today?
* Benny gives us another reason why Lloyd's job is safe
* Too Strange Not to Post: From Whine Maker to Wine Maker

UDATE 1:15pm ET: Props to Colin Cowherd. He was very cool about everything today. We sincerely appreciate his shout out and this issue is now resolved. We'll post a little wrap up when we get a chance to put stuff up but (and I know this is a shock to all who read us) we actually have to get some paying work done today.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Tuning In

As we mentioned over the weekend, according to Carl Bialik at Gelf Magazine, ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd will give the M Zone credit for our Wonderlic bit which was read on the air last week. As we also mentioned then, if that happens, we're cool and it's time to move on (until 3 years from now when we might try to raise $12,000 in order to put up a Wonderlicpeat.com billboard outside ESPN HQ).

While we're going to tune in, unfortunately, the two of us who live in markets that get Cowherd's show could potentially be in meetings for at least a portion of his 10am-1pm broadcast (ok, thruth is that's really the time each week our moms make us clean up so we can continue living in our parents' basements for free). Therefore, if you catch the show today, please email us about what was said and tell us your thoughts. We'd appreciate it.

We'll post an update tomorrow when our moms say the place looks clean enough and Wangs brings 'Nana back from the home.

Inaction Figures

Many of our readers often call the for the firing, or at least the forced retirement, of Lloyd Carr. Though not all of the MZone staff is in favor of such a move, we all agree on one thing - it's not going to happen.

Do we have an inside source at 1000 South State Street that tells us this? Nope. We just take a look at the way the department's handled the men's basketball program, which is highlighted over at The Realests, one of our many readers with a top-notch blog.

Sure, they don't mention that Amaker started several steps back due to the Ed Martin situation, but also unseen in the cold, hard numbers is that it's easier to win at Michigan - we have the budget, the history, and the resources that Seton Hall doesn't.

So if the athletic department doesn't feel the need to make a change after seven disappointing seasons in basketball, I doubt they feel pressed to do anything to a football coach who's given them three Rose Bowls, winning seasons every year, and, of course, a national championship.

From Whine Maker to Wine Maker

Proving we're moving forward from last week's distraction, we offer up another installment of Too Strange Not To Post, a semi-regular segment that has nothing to do with college football but made us scratch our heads.

Today we bring you the story of porn star Savanna Samson (side note: why is anybody in porn automatically a "porn star?" You never hear someone referred to as "struggling porn actress"). Samson has branched out from her XXX roots to start a successful side career as...a wine maker?

According to Ms. Samson, while she is going to continue acting in adult films, she started her wine business in order to do something that "(her) parents could be proud of." We here at the M Zone were already proud of her due to her Adult Video News Award-winning scene with Jenna Jameson in last year's "The Masseuse."

And making wine is no gimmick as Ms. Samson's Sogno Uno red scored 91 out of 100 by famed wine critic Robert Parker and got 4 1/2 boners in Hustler.

Sunday, March 26, 2006


Carl Bialik at GelfMagazine.com is reporting Colin Cowherd will credit the M Zone for our Collegiate Wonderlic material on his next show which airs Monday 10am-1pm ET. Bialik talked to an ESPN spokesman Friday who also said the email responses Cowherd sent in reply to those who complained were "innapropriate and we spoke to Colin about them, and he admits he overreacted."

As we've said all along, that's all we ever asked for. If that does indeed happen, we consider this matter closed and we can go back to doing what we do best: uh...ummm...let us get back to you on that one.

Check back Monday for updates.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Thank Blog It's Friday TOC

After a crazy week, we here at the M Zone are really looking forward to the weekend. But before we go, we've got a few nuggets for you to enjoy:
  • A note of thanks to our readers
  • We find out we weren't the first
  • The Devil Speaks - Why blogs are better
Have a great weekend and, as always, thanks for reading. Next week, back to our regularly scheduled blog.

To our readers...

We must say, life was a lot less...hectic when we were talking about scantily clad co-eds and bashing our Big 10 brethren in Columbus.

Just want to say thanks for all the support, even from traditional rivals. We've said it before but we'll say it again (and keep saying it), it's much appreciated.

As we said in the post that started this little firestorm, each of our contributors does this site for free. There is no advertising and we've been too damn lazy to open a CafePress account to try to sell anything. It's just a hobby and passion in order for us to talk, bitch and have a few laughs about some of our favorite topics (like the above-mentioned scantily clad co-eds). Thus, the fun of doing it comes from your emails and comments (yes, we're easily amused).

As such, unlike Mr. CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst in his reply to one of our readers, we appreciate the blogging and sports board community. Without it, we might as well just go back to emailing each other. If you notice, unlike a lot of sites that are "pro" a certain team, unless it's particularly vulgar or offensive (or that one LSUoverSC dude putting up the same link over and over again), we leave comments up - those that like the site and those that don't. That's the beauty of it.

Some have commented that this is a "great" thing for us due to the increase in traffic. But whether we have a million visitors in a day or just Wangs's mom, the pay is the same. While it's nice to have all the new readers, we'd prefer they were reading our material (and voting in the our Blog Co-ed Showdown). Besides, keeping up with all this new traffic makes for a bitch of a time pulling off the charade that is each of our real jobs.

Also, some of you have said we should sue or get him fired or worse, make him move to Columbus (sorry, old habits). But this isn't and never was about money or a man's job. Put simply, it was just about wanting credit where credit was due. Had Mr. CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst said, "Sorry, my bad" - or anything close - that would have been the end of it. Instead, he had to be even "douchebaggier" in his response. I guess that's the most disappointing part.

Most of all, we realize this isn't important in the grand scheme of things. If you read the site regularly, you know we don't take ourselves too seriously. And next week I'm sure we'll be back to the usual stuff. But this whole thing just sort of sucked on our end.

In any event, just our long winded way of saying thanks for the support. It's appreciated.


The M Zone Gang

We Weren't the First

Some of you might have read the "friendly" email responses the M Zone and a few of our readers received yesterday from Mr. Cowherd. So with tongue planted firmly in cheek, we present some e-mails from CC throughout history.

Date: Thursday, April 12, 1955
From: Colin Cowherd Show
To: SalkGuy007(at)earthink.net
Subject: RE: Vaccine thing



Date: Monday, April 4, 1879
From: Colin Cowherd Show
To: Edison(at)gmaile.com
Subject: RE: Light bulb


yeah, losing a lot of sleep over the whole light bulb thing...it was sent to us...we had no idea... we don't sit around trying different filaments all day unlike...um...you

Date: December 18, 1903
From: Colin Cowherd Show
To: WWright(at)aoll.com
Subject: Planes and Shit


I had no idea...your brother gave me plane stuff...but since your emails to me...have been so immature...it will assure I never give credit to you (or your brother now)

Date: Friday, May 30, 1927
From: Colin Cowherd Show
To: Lindbergh(at)comcst.com
Subject: RE: Trip to Europe



Friday, March 24, 2006

THE DEVIL SPEAKS: This "Thing" Might Actually Be Important

Aye caramba, as if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate Colin Cowherd. First, he works for the bloated ESPN “sportstainment” empire and is apparently—since prior to this I’d never heard of him—a typical loud mouthed radio “personality” who confuses being abusive with being “edgy.” Then he displays the laziness and dishonesty that’s far too common in all of the mainstream media today by using something he obtained on the internet for his radio show and tries to conceal his complete lack of talent and originality by letting it seem like it’s his bit. Next, he delves into the realm of the completely despicable when he’s called out for it and responds with an abrupt, ALL CAPS e-mail filled with arrogance, contempt, and an apparent dismay that anyone could ever criticize him.

Still, even this doesn’t get me too upset. He’s a media personality and apparently a semi-celebrity. The bar for his behavior isn’t just set at very low; it’s lying on the ground. So, yeah, this is all pretty much what I’d expect from his ilk so there’s nothing too disturbing there. Besides, if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, plagiarism must be fawning, submissive tongue worshipping in its most humiliating form.

So, it’s hard to hate a guy who, 1) I’d never heard of anyway 2) in spite of his condescending manner has basically admitted that he needs internet blogs to do his job and 3) is completely clueless to the fact that a job like his is rapidly becoming obsolete as sports blogs become more numerous and filled with more and better content and are much more enjoyable for those of us who are literate to discuss, debate, and otherwise obsess about sports.

So why do I hate Colin Cowherd? Because yesterday I had to sort through what had to be at least 275 e-mails, many of them from complete fucking morons—onepete.com folks, I’m looking in your direction—with their bizarre forms of reasoning that this was some sort of divine retribution and poetic justice for criticizing the onepete.com billboard.

Just as stupid as the onepete.com crowd are the folks who echo Cowherd’s words of “whining” and “get over it.” These have apparently become the insult du jour. Everyone who disagrees with us is “whining” about something and therefore needs to “get over it.” Don’t like that I punched you in the face for no reason? It’s because you’re a whiner. You a little upset because I got drunk and plowed my car into yours? Get over it.

But, let’s review the timeline, shall we? On 22 March, ESPN aired Cowherd’s broadcast. On 23 March, The M Zone made a grand total of three posts about it. One stating what had happened, the second displaying Cowherd’s response, and the third telling everyone who couldn’t find the second one where it is. That’s it.

Simply pointing out something that’s wrong isn’t whining. And pointing it out one day later, doesn’t call for shouts of get over it. Now, if six months from now The M Zone has degenerated into a blog that still posts about this and 75% of the content here is a Colin Cowherd hate-fest, then, yeah, it’s whining and yes, The M Zone needs to get over it. I doubt that will be the case, because in six months, college football starts back up again in all its glory.

One the other hand, there were also a lot of great posts from people—frequently those with blogs of their own—who actually get this.

For those who don’t get this, here’s my perspective.

Should we sue? Nope, since The M Zone is done for free there’s no lost income. And let’s face it, The M Zone hasn’t been harmed, this has been great advertising. After all, the so called professionals steal the stuff from here. Besides, there’s hot co-eds to ogle and the 2006 season is approaching, why waste time with lawyers when there are better things to do. However, Yost, you should contact ESPN and ask them if they want to hire you, they use your material anyway, why not cut out the middle man and get it directly from you. At least they’ll get it in a timely manner.

What’s so bad about this? Well, for starters, plagiarism is bad, m’kay? The big issue here—for me anyway—is that Cowherd gets paid to do a radio show. I’m just guessing here, but I imagine his employers would like him to come up with material for his show that’s timely, relevant, and original. What the fuck’s the point in paying someone to do something when they just have someone else do it. For free. This is why all the statements like “well you use the M logo, that’s plagiarism too” reveal a complete lack of higher brain function. No one at The M Zone is SELLING the logo. The M Zone isn’t SELLING anything.

Let me put it this way, if you have a hobby that you do because you enjoy it, and someone takes the result of your hobby and makes money for themselves off it and you don’t mind, you’re what’s called a SUCKER. So, all you people who think it’s no big deal, stop doing all those things you enjoy, don’t spend time with your kids, don’t spend time with your wives, don’t drink beer, don’t play sports, don’t have sex, sit in front of your computer all day long and type up stuff you think should be on the radio and e-mail it Colin Cowherd so he can make money off of your efforts. Be exploited, see if I care. Me, I’m not going to get a lawyer, but I am going to point out that he’s a no talent hack who steals his material for his show.

What does it mean? It means the world of spots journalism is changing, in fact it’s turning upside down. In the past, the media reported and we fans simply had to accept what they gave us. If we wanted more information than they were willing or capable of giving, too damn bad. If we wanted someone to poke fun at some of the more ridiculous aspects of sports, sorry that’s not going to happen. If we wanted detailed statistical analysis, uh uh, we don’t have time for that.

But, not anymore. We have blogs and bloggers willing to devote time to digging up all that information the media is to lazy to find for us. We can communicate with one another, exchanging information and sharing our obsession with sports. And we can make fun of it all and ourselves. I have never seen anything in the mainstream media that gives such detailed reviews of games as those that appear over in mgoblog. And I have never, ever, ever, ever seen anything in the mainstream media as funny as the stuff that’s routinely posted over at Every Day Should Be Saturday. Hell, most comedies churned out by Hollywood aren’t as funny.

At the end of the 2005 college football season, Stewart Mandel, of Sports Illustrated actually cited data from a statistical analysis of how the coaches voted in the final poll which was done by The Blue-Gray Sky. Think about that for a second. Amateurs, who write about sports as a hobby and who have full time jobs doing something else did a very thorough and insightful statistical analysis that a professional sports writer then used in his column (and yes, Mandel actually had the decency to cite his source). Amateurs with real jobs had the time to do that, professionals apparently didn’t.

Now we have Colin Cowherd who obviously lacks decency and apparently any other positive traits. What we’re seeing here is like a revolution. Blogs are better than the mainstream media now. Better in providing commentary, satire, statistics, a forum for discussion, you name it. The mainstream media has become obsolete. I used to watch ESPN every now and then simply because it was the only way to find out about sports. I don’t even bother anymore. Blogs are better. And funnier.

The mainstream media’s foraging expeditions into the blogs for material are evidence that even they realize the blogs are better. They know that if they want to keep up and remain relevant, they’ve either got to come up with material that’s just as good on their own or steal it from the blogs and hope no one notices. So far, they haven’t come up with anything on their own. And that’s why it’s important to notice when they do this. Otherwise, bloggers write great stuff while the mainstream media gets paid to broadcast it. The blogs are faster and more flexible and more honest. The mainstream media is downwardly trended, they’re on the wrong side of history here. They may be rich and powerful now, but they’ve become unwieldy and are becoming more and more irrelevant. The mainstream media is like natural gas lighting, horse drawn carriages, propeller driven aircraft. Blogs are electric lightbulbs, automobiles, and jet aircraft. Blogs are better.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Have listed below the main story a few of the emails that we, along with some other readers, have received in response from Colin CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst. Thanks for sending them in. We appreciate it.

ESPN'S Colin Cowherd "Borrows" M Zone Material

In case you can't tell, it takes a fair amount of work each night to put up what you read everyday here on the M Zone. But we have a blast doing it. We better, because it's not like any of us are doing it for the money. For us, it's all about the comments and emails from you, the reader, as well as the shout outs and getting linked from other great sports sites such as Deadspin, EDSBS and MGoBlog.

That's why we're so pissed today.

Yesterday, March 22nd, ESPN Radio hack, uh, host, Colin Cowherd, did one of our most popular bits on the air verbatim, the M Zone Wonderlic Test, without giving the M Zone any credit whatsoever. To set the stage, Cowherd was talking about Vince Young's Wonderlic score and said maybe he had been too hard on Vince. He said he got a copy of the Wonderlic test off the Internet and asked his listeners to call in to see if they could answer some of the questions.

CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst then proceeded to rattle off not one, not two, not three but EIGHT - 8! - of our questions on the air to the delight of his staff and listeners but with nary a word of credit to those of us who wrote the stuff in the first place.

Think we're exaggerating? Below is the material in question followed by the clip from CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst's show. You be the judge:

Here are Questions 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 14 from our original March 1st post titled The M Zone Collegiate Wonderlic Test

1. If the Ohio State tailback gets $42,000 from a Buckeye booster but the Escalade he wants is $57,000, he should:

a) Buy a different SUV
b) Take a job he doesn't have to show up for from another booster to cover the difference
c) Ask Maurice Clarett to borrow one for him
d) Transfer to an SEC school with more generous boosters

4. Which of these numbers in the following group is the largest?

a) 10 x 14 x 5
b) 632
c) 1,000 - 275 + 30
d) Charlie Weis' cholesterol level

6. If ESPN's Gameday crew were to go to Arkansas to cover a game, how much netting would be needed to protect Kirk, Lee and Chris Fowler from objects thrown by Razorback fans?

a) none
b) 200 feet
c) all Home Depot sells in a three city area
d) Trick question: Gameday would never go to Arkansas

7. Marcus Vick runs a 4.3 and Maurice Clarett runs a 4.48 but the 9mm Glock hidden in Vick's waistband is heavier. Who has a better chance of out-running the cops and evading arrest?

8. If the world's largest sequoia tree is almost 3,000 years old and the earth's crust is 5 billion years old, how old is Bobby Bowden if he started coaching before either?

9. If Michigan has a 12 point lead with under 9 minutes left in the game, how much time will be left on the clock when the opposing team scores the winning touchdown?

a) 3 minutes
b) 1 minute
c) :35 seconds
d) none, last play of the game and immediately named ESPN Instant Classic

10. Your team's stadium holds 96,000 fans but regularly only sells 32,000 tickets to its home games. How long will it take the team bus to drive back to Westwood?

14. If a Onepeat.com LSU fan wastes 60% of each day stewing over the shared title with USC in 2003, how many hours will he have left each week to not date women?


The Clip from Colin CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst's March 22nd Show
(Press the button below to hear the 5:30 minute clip. Questions start about 25 seconds in. If you'd like to download it yourself, go to the ESPNRadio link here. It's the last segment, about 1:24:30 into the 1:35:00 free download.)

Now you know why we're so pissed. We bust our ass on something only to have Mr. ESPN come in and steal our material. Do you know how cool it would have been for a little blog like ours to get a mention on a nationally syndicated sports radio show? Instead, Goliath decides to rip off David.

Even worse, say a month from now some guy stumbles across our site and reads our Wonderlic post (which is listed on the left among our "Best Of" stuff). If he happened to hear Colin's show, who is he going to think stole it from whom? Naturally, he's going to assume the bloggers stole if from the famous radio host.

Look, we support fair use on the Internet. When we see something funny on a site, if we reference it, we credit the site. No big deal. All we ask is that people do the same when using our stuff.

If you feel what happened is bullshit, too, and would like to drop Colin CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst a line, the email for their show is:


And if you'd like to call in during his 10am-1pm ET show to help us out, the number is 1-888-SAY-ESPN.

Or better yet, from one of our readers, below is a link for ESPN Ombudsman, George Soloman:


Well, that's it for our posts today. Just not up to doing anything else. We're still pretty steamed.

Thanks to everybody for reading. We sincerely appreciate it.

P.S. And if you want to forward this story to other sports fans you know, we certainly wouldn't be opposed.

UPDATE BELOW: Cowherd responds to M Zone email. And we just want to say thanks again to all our readers for their cool comments and emails today. Much appreciated.

UPDATE, PART II, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: Wow. Thanks to everyone who is emailing, commenting and linking to us today. Our apologies if we can't respond right away but we're literally swamped. Also, in addition to our response from Mr. CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst, I've posted an email below one of our readers got from him. Boy, Colin sounds like a hell of a guy.

3/27 UPDATE: Mr. Cowherd gave the M Zone a shout out on his show today. This incident is now resolved and over.

Colin CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst Responds

Well, thought folks might like to see how Colin CowherdItSomewhereElseFirst responded to our email. I noticed he didn't credit "whoever" he claims sent it to him yesterday, either.

Date: Thursday, March 23, 2006 10:35 AM
From: ESPN Colin Cowherd Show
To: michiganzone at adelphia dot net
Subject: RE: From the M Zone
Size: 2 KB


-----Original Message-----
From: michiganzone[at]adelphia(.) [michiganzone[at]adelphia" .?net
Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 10:31 AM
To: ESPN Colin Cowherd Show
Subject: From the M Zone

Loved the Wonderlic bit you did yesterday. Liked it better when we
wrote it and posted it on our site site March 1st.


Not cool.

Yost and the M Zone gang


As so many of you have pointed out, interesting how on the show he says they found it on the Internet that day yet in his response, he claims it was sent to him.

Another M Zone reader got the following response to his email. I have edited out his personal info.

Date: Thursday, March 23, 2006 1:18 PM
From: BK
To: michiganzone(at)adelphia -.- net
Subject: my email and response
Size: 4 KB

Well here's a copy of the email I sent and the response I received from this guy who seems to believe it's more important to rip on me than address the real issue:

yea..losing a lot of sleep.
it was sent to us.....we had no idea...we don't troll message boards all day

From: BK [mailto:BK]
Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 12:57 PM
To: ESPN Colin Cowherd ShowSubject: Unscrupulous

I can't believe you used material from the MZone without giving the source. Very unethical. The material from this website is excellent and definitely deserved a reference on your show. You should be ashamed.

Here is yet another, personal info edited out:

--- Forwarded Message ---
Date: [Thu, 23 Mar 2006 12:37:07 -0500]
From: ESPN Colin Cowherd Show
To: REMOVED (at) yahoo
Subject: RE: Hack...

We had no idea...it was sent to us...but since the e-mails to us..have
been so immature..it will assure we never give michigan credit for it

-----Original Message-----
From: REMOVED at yahoo [REMOVEDyahoo]
Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 12:29 PM
To: ESPN Colin Cowherd Show
Subject: Hack...

I previously had a little respect for Colin Cowherd's show, as I listen
from time to time and am usually somewhat entertained. But after the
stunt you pulled on Wednesday's show, I will never listen again--NOTHING
is worse than someone who steals other's material/writings/etc. because
they are too unoriginal to come up with their own.

I am referring to the faux Wonderlic test questions you asked on air, in
which EIGHT of the questions were ripped off verbatim from

You should be straight-up ashamed of yourself. I hope your bosses hear
about this, and I hope they reprimand you severely. Doing something
like this completely destroys any credibility you once had--if I listen
to something else that's entertaining on your show, how do I know that
you didn't rip that off from someone else as well?

This was a total douchebag thing that you did, and you really should
feel like shit. I doubt you do, though, and that's why I hope someone
powerful who actually cares will get wind of this news and punish you.

Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around

Ironic thing about that last email, the reader who emailed Colin said in the forward to us that he's an Iowa fan! Good thing he didn't say that or maybe Iowa folks would cease to get any credit, too.

Finally, one of our readers pointed out that writing to Colin was a waste of time and, after getting these emails, I guess he's right.

He suggested emailing George Soloman, ESPN's Ombudsman, using the link below:


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Fire Amaker. Hire Amaker.

It's no secret that Lloyd Carr has struggled in recent years against one of Michigan's biggest rivals, Notre Dame. He's lost two in a row to the Irish, three out of four, and four out of six. It's one of the stats that Carr's detractors mention when saying the time has come for Lloyd to step down.

I'm not one of those detractors. But after watching Michigan beat Notre Dame last night in the NIT, an idea came to me. Maybe the Wolverines should fire Tommy Amaker as basketball coach, and hire him as football coach. He's 3-0 against Notre Dame. That's as many wins as Lloyd has against the Irish - in seven tries.

This might be the answer for the fans who want to sack Carr due to his record in the big games. So I checked Amaker's record against the two biggest football programs other than Michigan in the Big Ten, Penn State and Tosu. Sure enough, Amaker's a perfect 9-0 against PSU. That's even better than Lloyd's 7-2 mark. Against Tosu, Tommy is only 3-6, but that's not all that much worse than Lloyd's 6-5 record.

I think I'm on to something here. OK, now we have to check Amaker's record against the football lightweights. It's bad enough to lose to ND or Tosu, but we can't let the program sink too far. Against Illinois he's 1-9, while Lloyd is 7-1. Versus the Hoosiers Amaker's a painful 0-8, Carr is 9-0.

So I've solved nothing. At least as far as football goes. After looking at those records, it might be evident that Michigan does need a new basketball coach. But if the Wolverines keep Amaker around, maybe he can make an appearance on the sideline in South Bend on September 16.

Father of the Year

In the latest edition of Too Redneck Not To Post, we bring you the story of 31 year old Chris Killion. Last weekend, ol' Chris decided to hit a strip club in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Now, on its own, nothing wrong with that. As you can probably tell from some of our posts, we have no moral qualms about such entertainment choices. The problem arose for Chris - and our opinion of him - when his toddler son wandered into the club shortly thereafter looking for dear old dad. Turns out, before going inside, Chris told his son to wait in the car and that if he left it, "monsters would eat him."

Killion was arrested after the club manager called police when he saw the 3 to 4 year old boy enter the establishment. Police say this marks the first time a strip club manager has ever displayed something resembling ethical conduct.

In a related story, school officials in Tempe have already offered Killion's son a full-ride to ASU and given his dad tenure.

Ranking the Big 10 Coaches

In analyzing the coaching situation in the Big 10, College Football News declares Tosu's Jim Tressel and Iowa's Kirk Ferentz the league's best while saying Michigan's Lloyd Carr is the conference "Coach on the Hot Seat."

Gee, there's an "out on a limb" bold cyber statement. Flame away at me Michigan fans, but I think Carr is a solid coach. Am I pleased with last season? Hell no. But Carr made the steps to correct the problem and I for one (probably the only one) believe he will right the ship this season.

Blog Co-ed Showdown: Ashley vs. Bent Over Buckeye

In what could be the closest contest yet in our BCS, #7 seed Ashley, the Internet sensation/Cal State Fullerton softball player, takes on our #10 seed, the anonymous "Bent Over Buckeye" from the only "Fuck Michigan" picture we've ever approved of here at the M Zone.

Today's clash took an unexpected twist when Ashley's MySpace page, which according to TheHaterNation was the most popular non-porn destination on the Internet, was either removed by MySpace or deleted by Ashley. However, being quite resourceful here at the M Zone (at least when it comes to attractive co-eds), we were able to dig up the cached page on Google which we provide here.

After such shocking news right before such an important showdown, we almost replaced Ashley. However, the tournament committee decided to treat such recent developments as an injury and let her play on. Thus, take this and all information into consideration when casting your vote.



Ashley - Cal State Fullerton
B.O.B. - Tosu

Claim to Fame:

Ashley - Most popular non-porn website (although judging from the pics, that might not be far behind)
B.O.B. - Uh, speaking of "behind"...

Fashion Statement:

Ashley - softball uni by day/taking photos with her big breasted fellow bleach-blonde friend by night
B.O.B. - Red thong, Buckeye literature on her ass


Ashley - 5'11, athletic build
B.O.B. - That ass


Ashley - (from her MySpace page) "I am a very caring, happy person who does not enjoy drama or mean people...So please do not judge me by my looks bc I am alot more than a tall blonde! I have a brain, and I love having good QUALITY conversations with QUALITY people."
B.O.B. - (from her ass) "Fuck Michigan"

Dream Date:

Ashley - (from her MySpace page) "My dream date would be riding horses through the country, pitching a tent at night and falling asleep underneath the stars!"
Ed. Note: This was the point when Benny vomited all over his keyboard.
B.O.B. - (from her ass) Fucking Michigan

Impressed us by:

Ashley - Playing Division I college softball
B.O.B. - Being able to write "Fuck Michigan" on her own ass

Disappointed us when:

Ashley - Her MySpace page was removed (probably by "mean people")
B.O.B. - Only showed her tail end. Could be dealing with a "Butter Face" here, folks.

In Her Future:

Ashley - Reality TV
B.O.B. - Throwing beer on Michigan fans in Columbus this fall

M Zone Line:

Before the controversy surrounding her MySpace account, Ashley was a 8-10 point favorite. But with that now removed, we're calling this one a "pick 'em."

To vote, leave a comment and/or CLICK HERE TO TAKE POLL

Tuesday TOC

On tap today:

* The latest M Zone Blog Co-ed Showdown as our #7 and #10 seeds clash
* Whose bright idea was this? A soccer game that has disaster written all over it
* Another reason you wish you went to ASU

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

This has disaster written all over it

A Dutch group is organizing a soccer match between gays and Muslims in an effort to promote more tolerance of homosexuals among immigrants in the Netherlands. Yeah, nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan. Sure, people were killed and embassies were burned over a couple cartoons but this, this is pure genius.

In a related story, new immigrants are being required to watch a film that features a sunbathing woman and two men kissing in order to show new arrivals what sorts of things they may encounter in the liberal Netherlands.

To really drive home the point, Dutch officials are also considering requiring all Muslim immigrants to purchase the Liza Minnelli CD box set and watch 10+ hours of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Playboy Pool Party at ASU

Just when we thought we couldn't be any more bummed that we didn't at least do a semester "a broad" at ASU, someone sends us the following link. Please use caution if viewing at work (it's R rated, never X).

Playboy Pool Party at ASU

Monday TOC

While you were enjoying your weekend and watching college basketball, we were busting our asses to provide you with procrastination options for today. So sit back, relax and tell your boss to do the damn TPS reports himself.

Scroll down today to find:

* M Zone supports Tosu 100% (no, that's not a typo)
* '06 Wolverines: Lean, Mean, Fighting Machine
* Tennessee Loses a Beloved Mascot
* Another Day, Another ASU Sex Scandal
* The Difference Between ASU and UA
* American Pi

First Onepeat, Now FiascoBowl: Dumb & Dumber

Stupidity is sweeping the Internet.

First there were the Onepeat idiots raising over $10,000 to put a billboard up near the USC campus in an attempt to "prove" the Trojans didn't win half of the 2003 National Title. Now some Miami morons, "inspired" by the Onepeat crew, are raising money for their own billboard claiming Ohio State wasn't really the 2002 National Champion. Instead, at their FiascoBowl.org site, they insist the Miami Hurricanes - the team Ohio State beat in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl in the BCS Championship game - are the true National Champions that year.


Yep, these "fans" claim that, if not for the questionable pass interference call against Miami on 4th down during the first overtime, the game would have been over and Miami would have - and should have - won. Thus, to "right this wrong," they intend to erect a billboard in Columbus to coincide with Buckeye spring practice.

Folks, I know we take a humorous bent to college football on this site but we wish we were kidding here. Because this new "trend" of college football fans trying to rewrite history by pissing away thousands of dollars on billboards when they don't like the outcome on the field is asinine.

And where does it all end?

Obviously, Colorado's 1990 title, with its 5th down and all, is billboard-worthy. Georgia Tech fans should already be renting space in Boulder. Florida State should claim a couple titles from the '90s. Their teams were always the best, only their kickers were second rate so get a billboard, baby! Or perhaps, Nebraska fans should use the same twisted, revisionist logic like these fans of historical fiction in order to reclaim the 1983 National Title back from Miami when #1 ranked Nebraska only had to kick an extra point to tie the game up with :48 seconds left in order to win the title. Most folks agree the Huskers were the better team. So why not put up a billboard in south Florida to "prove" it?

Hell, why even play the games? Instead, let's just crown the national champion based on the school and its fans that can put up the most billboards.

Enough already.

Look, if you're a regular reader of the M Zone, you know we're not the biggest supporters of Tosu. If you doubt it, check the "Tosu Favorites" column along the left side of this site. Need more proof? Ok. "Hey, Bucks, nice basketball game Sunday."

But the fact is, as much as it pains me to say it, we support the Bucks 100% on this one. Ohio State is the undisputed 2002 National Champion. Period. End of discussion. And all the billboards in the world won't change that.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Carr Says ' 06 Team Leaner

Michigan Coach Lloyd Carr said the the Wolverines will be a much leaner team this season. Several key players, including QB Chad Henne and tailback Kevin Grady, have slimmed down going into spring practice.

Carr said that being slimmer will help his team's stamina in the fourth quarter. No word yet if it will also help the defense tackle on potential game winning drives.

Tennessee Mascot Dies

Smokey VIII, a bluetick coonhound who had the most victories of any mascot in Tennessee football history, died Friday due to complications from high blood pressure and kidney disease. School officials say that, even with the high blood pressure and kidney disease, the dog was in much better shape than Tennessee football coach, Phil Fulmer.

Another Day, Another ASU Sex Scandal

An Arizona State student who claims she was raped in her dorm room by a Sun Devil football player is suing the school alleging they failed to protect her.

The defendants in the suit are former ASU safety Darnel Henderson, football coach Dirk Koetter, former ASU athletic director Gene Smith, the state Board of Regents as well as other school officials. The 18 year old student filing the suit claims that Koetter and ASU officials failed to address misconduct by football players and created an environment that encouraged inappropriate behavior by athletes, including sexual harassment of women.

After police investigated the March 11, 2004 incident, the County Attorney's Office declined to file rape charges against Henderson as attorneys determined there was not a reasonable likelihood of conviction. However, Henderson was suspened from the team for "violation of the student code of conduct" and was later expelled by the University.

Speaking of Dumb and Dumber...

While Arizona State has been beset with various sex scandals of late, their rival to the south is also having its problems. Unfortunately for M Zone readers, it has nothing to do with sexy cheerleaders. Turns out, the Arizona Wildcat football team will lose four scholarships for the 2006 season because of poor academic performance. Thus, the picture for this post is a lot less, uh, "interesting" than most of the ones for the ASU stories.

American Pi

A 15 year old high school student in Virginia recited 8,784 digits of Pi - the non-repeating, non-terminating decimal - in an attempt to set a new "pi" record in the U.S. and North America. His parents promised him an Xbox 360 if he reached his goal.

Next month he's going to try for an even bigger personal record and will attempt to kiss a girl.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Weekend Bonus: Spring Practice Coverage

Brian over at M Go Blog has some great stuff on the latest coming out of A2 regarding Michigan's spring football practices. Unfortunately, the injury bug that plagued the team in 2005 is continuing as Antonio Bass hurt his knee and will probably miss the 2006 season.

The worst part of that is, Carr had been using Bass as a QB as well this spring to add some depth to one of the thinnest postions on the Wolverine squad.


Thanks for stopping by between watching NCAA b.ball games. For your reading pleasure today, we present:

* More info on the #2 seed in our Blog Co-ed Showdown, the infamous Ohio State Video Chick
* Drew Henson follows in the footsteps of Deuce Bigalo
* Apparently Michigan fans aren't the only ones who think Tosu has prospered by cheating

More on the Ohio State Video Chick

By far one of our most popular posts has been the "Best Recruiting Video EVER" which, shall we say, showcased an Ohio State student dancing in front of her webcam. Rumor has it, the video was initially made to convince her boyfriend to go to Ohio State. After they broke up, it "somehow" made its way to the Internet.

Well, thanks to some leads from you, our loyal readers, we have received a few nuggets of further info on the girl who is the #2 seed in the M Zone BCS: Blog Co-ed Showdown. Her real named, allegedly, is Dana and here are a couple more pictures. While we can't be 100% certain, it sure appears to be her. Judge for yourself.

Thanks for the tips. And if anybody else has any info they'd like to share, please email us.

Friday, March 17, 2006

He left early for this?

Drew Henson is trying to resurrect his quarterbacking career by playing in the NFL Europe. This weekend, he will be suiting up and starting for the Duesseldorf Rhein Fire in their opening clash against the Frankfut Galaxy. Yes, from the famed Wolverine winged helmet to...whatever that hell that is in the picture at left.

While I don't wish him ill will, I'd be lying if I didn't say I think he screwed Michigan by walking out right in the middle of spring practice a few years ago. So, good luck - or should I say, "Viel gluck!", Drew.

Cheaters never prosper...unless you're talking about Ohio State

Good article in the Chicago Sun-Times pointing out how cheating and playing "the game" of cheating has helped build the Ohio State athletic department into the powerful program that it is today.

Memo to Buckeye fans: Yeah, yeah, we know. Just leave all your "sour grape" comments in the comment section.

Thursday TOC

March Madness is in the air. No, not that tournament, the M Zone BCS. Scroll down today to find:

* We start to fill out our bracket with some tough competition
* Results are in between Jenn Sterger and Laura Quinn. Take a wild guess who won.
* A look back and present at former Michigan b.ball coach, Steve Fisher

Check back tomorrow for the latest BCS match-up as well as some new information on one of our top seeds.

And the M Zone video exclusive is still in the works. Just a tad delayed on the editing front.

M Zone March Madness

While some of you are busy filling out your brackets for that other March Madness which starts today, we here at the M Zone are beginning to fill out our bracket for the M Zone version of March Madness better known as the M Zone BCS: Blog Co-ed Showdown.

Recently selected by the committee are:

#4 seed Leilani Rios, a former Cal State Fullerton cheerleader who was kicked off the team when her coach found out she was working at the local strip club. Any chance of making it back on the team were probably ruined when she next posed for Playboy. But Cal State's loss is the M Zone's - and your - gain. And with credentials like this, she could turn out to be a formidable opponent. Leilani's first round match-up will be against...

#13 Kristi Yamaoka, the Southern Illinois University cheerleader who was injured after a fall during a Saluki basketball game. Yamaoka suffered a concussion and fractured vertebrae when she tumbled 15 feet from the top of a pyramid. But, as she was wheeled off the court on a stretcher, she moved her thumbs to the beat of the school fight song garnering a standing ovation from the crowd. She's tough and, if our readers vote with more than their mid section, could be a tough challenge for our #4 seed.

On the other side of the draw...

#7 seed Ashley, another Cal State Fullerton student who stars on the softball team and in cyberspace as Ashley May where her MySpace account has become the world's most famous non-porn site according to TheHaterNation. And while she's #4 on her team, she's #7 according to our seeding committee. And she'll be up against an interesting first round opponent in...

#10 seed, the "Bent Over Buckeye." We first saw this girl (at least one side of her) in our favorite "Fuck Michigan" picture of all time. And although we never saw her face, she just seemed so...committed to what she was doing in the picture, our selection committee thought she deserved an at-large bid as our #10 seed. Now, some folks say this is unfair that, if she wins against Ashley, she'll have to face another Buckeye in the Elite Eight but, well, we here at the M Zone have never been known to be fair to Buckeyes. Hell, they should be thrilled they have two teams in the Sweet 16 while, thus far, U-M has been shut out.

Finally, for your office pool, below is the bracket so far. Right click for a larger version so you can print it out and hang it next to the coffee machine. Trust us, female employees love that.

Big props to reader TMB for telling us about Ashley. Suggestions for co-eds to fill out the bracket are always welcome.

Blog Co-ed Showdown Result

In a result about as shocking as finding out Barry Bonds did steroids, FSU Cowgirl Jenn Sterger crushed Mrs. A.J. Hawk-to-be with approximately 92% of the vote in the latest M Zone BCS match-up. It got so bad that BCS Commish, Benny Friedman, openly talked about invoking the mercy rule at one point.

Sterger now moves into the Elite Eight with the M Zone readership openly hoping for a Final Four Showdown between her and the Ohio State Video Chick.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Go Fish

There was an article on former Michigan basketball coach Steve Fisher in the March 14 Chicago Tribune written by Mike Downey (if you grew up reading the Detroit Free Press and fondly recall Downey's unique wit and style, don't read him now---he's really lost his fastball.)

The article led me to think about Fisher, memorably dubbed a "Michigan Man" by Bo in the bizarre pre-1989 NCAA Tournament episode that began when Bill Frieder accepted the head coaching job at Arizona State (though thankfully without any of the now seemingly requisite Sun Devil sexual shenanigans.) Fisher then led the Wolverines to six straight victories in the tourney, including thrilling wins in the Final Four over Illinois (which had trounced Michigan twice in the regular season) and Seton Hall.

My favorite Fisher-related memory from that amazing run came during the post-championship-game interview, when Rumeal Robinson (who hit the game winning free throws despite having a poor ft percentage) excitedly pointed out how it had been the then-assistant Fisher who had spent so much time with him working on his free throw shooting throughout the season. Fisher then quickly and humbly deflected the praise back to Robinson.

My first personal exposure Fisher came when I was a camper at the Bill Frieder Basketball Camp in the early eighties. Though named for Frieder, the camp was run by Fisher. Ironically, the man who later was justifiably canned for losing control of his program was best known by me and my fellow campers for his southern Illinois-accented admonishment: "If there's a problem in the dorms, I want to know about it!" Of course, the Ed Martins of the world weren't exactly beating down South Quad doors to hand out money to a bunch of adolescents, most of whose playing careers would soon flounder on JV benches across the Midwest.

While a student at Michigan my experience with Fisher (as well as those I knew who dealt with him more closely) reinforced my view that he was a very decent person. He was rarely if ever considered a great coach, though his fall and recent rise may change how he will be remembered, as indicated in these interesting pieces from the New York Times and the Voice of San Diego.

As noted, Fisher deserved to be dismissed from Michigan, and his failure to properly oversee the program will remain an important part of his legacy. But I don't think it should define it. I will be cheering for Fisher and his San Diego State team on Thursday and not just because they are playing Indiana. I will be cheering for him because he was a Michigan Man and more importantly, he is a good man.

Hump Day TOC

You've made it. The halfway point of your work/school/procrastination week is upon you. To get you over the "hump," scroll down today to find:

* Looks like Onepeat.com has competition for the 2006 "Complete Waste of Money" Award
* Benny explains why U-M isn't getting anymore cash from him
* Latest M Zone Caption Contest Results

Onepeat Mountain

Looks like Onepeat.com has some competition for the 2006 "Complete Waste of Money Award." According to Newsweek, some fans of "Brokeback Mountain" were so heartbroken the movie lost the Best Picture Oscar to "Crash," blogger Dave Cullen raised $26,000 dollars via his website to take out an ad in Daily Variety last Friday suggesting that, after winning so many other "Best Picture" awards, the film should have won the Oscar, too. Now, the group is looking into placing similar ads in Entertainment Weekly and The New York Times.

Gee, raising money regarding some past opinion-based honor to "prove" your opinion is the correct one by wasting that raised money on pointless PR. Yes, sounds very "Onepeat-ish" to me. Good to see these movie fans, like LSU fans still upset over the 2003 mythical college football championship, have nothing better to spend their money on than a $26,000 ad that was probably tossed in trashcans with the rest of "yesterday's news" the day it came out.

But here's an idea for both the Onepeat folks and the Brokeback crew: why not pool your resources into one campaign? By teaming up and killing two birds with one stone, you can waste money on even more, bigger ads! Heck, maybe even a president or two of Louisiana TV stations will chip in again as well.

Thus, as a public service, we at the M Zone have come up with a potential display for your next ad or billboard.

P.S. I'm beginning to wonder if "Onepeat" should be a worked into the lexicon. It would mean "complete and stupid waste of money." Like, "Dude, can't believe you purchased beer for an open bar party at a nightclub. That's so Onepeat, ass."

I give and give and give and this is the thanks I get?

I got my (semi? more?) annual request in the mail from Michigan to donate some money. "Making the Michigan Difference," they call it. Never mind that the check boxes they've made available are all well above anything I've ever given before. What really upset me is that there's no place for me to check the $0 box with the following reasons why I'm not giving:
  • The worst football season in 21 years
  • The weekly struggle to somehow maintain the bowl streak
  • Another loss to Tosu
  • Another loss to Notre Dame
  • Another bowl loss
  • Three home losses
  • Losing to freaking Minnesota
  • Making me choose between missing most of the 3rd quarter against Tosu and taking a leak (I held it in)
  • Playing rock music (and bad rock music at that) over the P. A. during warm-ups against Tosu
  • Another failed basketball season, no promise of a successful season next year, and not even a hint of any changes from the athletic department
Upon further inspection, I guess there's probably not enough room on the donation sheet to list ALL the reasons I'm not giving. What I do know is that better red zone offense, more aggressive fourth quarter defense, and being able to tackle Troy Smith would have led to me loosening the purse strings a bit.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

M Zone Caption Contest Winner

After careful review, the M-ie for the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party edition of the M Zone Caption Contest goes to this dandy submitted by Ryno:

This marks the one and only instance when a naked female heard the phrase, "Damnit, let's go find your jean shorts"


"Amber was intrigued by Todd's idea to go 'between the hedges'."

submitted by IC

My nipples act as a compass - we're obviously heading south.

submitted by Becky

Thanks for all the fantastic submissions. Really great stuff.

Check back for another M Zone Caption Contest coming soon.

And if you have a picture you think needs captioning, send it on in.

Tuesday TOC

Scroll down today to find:

* As U-M fans, we've never enjoyed the Tosu "Fuck Michigan" salute more than in the picture below
* The flip side of that coin is two Buckeye guys getting all Brokeback with each other for some college hijinks.
* OU QB Rhett Bromar gets busted for drinking again by elite undercover basketball cops in Oklahoma
* The blame for all of Michigan's recent sporting woes rests with one man: Baggy. Find out why he's the root of the curse in the lastest edition of The Devil Speaks

Now THIS is how to say, "Fuck Michigan"

Oddly enough, as Michigan fans, when we saw this picture we weren't that upset about being told to fuck off.

While it's obviously hard to pick out our favorite co-ed above, we sort of like the girl on the far left. If you notice, the others have the Tosu battle cry, more or less, printed on their lower backs. But the girl on the far left has adorned each cheek with it and is bent all the way over like she's about to do a scene with the ASU cheerleader or something ("Uh, Jenny, sweetie, it's just a picture").

Many, many MANY thanks to reader Ken for sending this picture in to us.

P.S. Any other co-eds that want to tell us to fuck off like this, please feel free.

Now for Some Tosu Ass You Don't Want to See

If the above picture of the Tosu co-eds baring their best was the good, here is the bad and ugly all rolled into one video. We think they're Tosu students judging by the giant "O" on the wall behind them...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Rhett Bomar: Party Machine

For the second time in six months, Oklahoma Sooner QB Rhett Bomar has been arrested for being a minor in possession of alcohol. He was cited Friday after an undercover police officer spotted him drinking a beer at the New Orleans Hornets basketball game at the Ford Center in Oklahoma City.

Nice to know police in Oklahoma have nothing better to do than send cops undercover to a pro basketball game. Maybe they thought they were going to a Pistons-Pacers game.