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Friday, January 13, 2006

The Best of the Worst Buckeye Sites on the Web

Another in an occasional series here on the M Zone showcasing The Best of the Worst Buckeye sites on the ol' WWW.

Many of you probably thought there was no way we could top the first two sites we featured here (the "Screw Michigan Store" selling a full line of "F*ck Michigan" products including an infant onsey and the basic "F*ck Michigan" website). But we did. And sometimes the comedy just writes itself. Especially when Buckeye fans try to combine their hate for Michigan (large) with their creativity (not so large).

Here is a site we stumbled across with the title, "Friends don't let friends cheer for Michigan." But if you click on the link, you see, not a Michigan pic but an "alien head" next to this text:

"Having a few drarings that we drew we are deciding to start making shirts. we havent actually made the shirts but we will let you know when we are ready to sell!!
Just e-mail us about what kind of shirt you want and we will draw them for you and display them!!!"

Even better, the shirts are only $5! How can you go wrong? So, we decided to have a look around the site of this obvious Buckeye English Lit major to see if his artwork was as good as his spelling. There are nine masterpieces showcased and here are some of our favorite designs. Let's start with "Draring #1" (Their spelling, not mine). The text reads:

"We like Ohio State football, so if you are a michigan fan go ruck yourself!!! Here are some cool drarings that we have made!!"

And here is the first of those "cool drarings."

Yes, we know they're very big on the word "THE" before the name of their school. We just didn't realize their official moniker was THE State Ohio. Then again, what do Michigan fans know. We're too busy "rucking" ourselves. But hey, it's nice to see someone as bad at Photoshop as we are.

Now, this shirt below, I can't for the life of me understand how they intend to sell it for just $5 as it's a two-sider. On the front of "Draring #4&5" is:

Now, when I first saw this, I mistakenly thought it meant THE State Ohio was a toilet (at least we agree on something) while Michigan was the blue bowl cleaner. Then I saw the back of the shirt:

That's when I realized Michigan was shaped like Long Island in the eyes of this artist. Oh, wait, let me see that again...is he...is he saying...that Michigan is a big piece of shit with a chunk of yellow corn in it?! ha..haha...HAHAHA! NOW I get it. LOL! The subtle genius of it all. Like any good art, sometimes you miss the complexity with only one viewing.

Next, after "Drarings #4&5" was "Draring #9" (yes, they're numbered this way). Under the text, "Homestar Hitler!!! HAHA!" was this little gem:

Because nothing, and I mean nothing, says funny like Hitler. Seriously, this was almost as funny as the outtake reel on the Schindler's List DVD.

But our favorite (if you force us to pick just one) was the last one, (naturally) "Draring #7":

I liked this one the most because it really captured, in a very beautiful way, the class of THE State Ohio fan. You have the Columbus Salute - "F*CK MICHIGAN" - boldly displayed (no more of that "ruck" crap, I tell ya. For the actual shirts, it's "F*CK" all the way, baby!). Then you have Brutus holding a machine gun which, as evidenced by the bullet-riddled body at his feet, he's just used to shoot the Michigan fan on the ground, saving one shot to blow a hole in his face. But personally, what spoke to me, what said, "Bravo!" was the sly wink Brutus is giving after uttering his favorite phrase following the murder.

Sometimes you can't utter the word "genius" enough. This is one of those times, folks.

If you've stumbled across a site that you feel we should feature, please email us.


Anonymous said...

That's GOTTA be a joke site... right?


Yost said...

Now, as with most Buckeye sites, you would THINK the answer is yes. But, sadly, it is not.

Dezzi13 said...

Do they give discounts if you buy in bulk?

BaggyPantsDevil said...


OK, that was about the most unintentionally funny thing I've seen since I first watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space."

Of course, the use of the word “pooo” does make me suspect the whole thing was set up by a four year old. A violent four year old.

Yost said...

Yeah, a 4 yr old who uses "pooo" in one pic then goes right for "F*ck Michigan" on the other. Well done, mom and dad.

IC said...

I can't believe they have all these amazing drarings and not one that mentions "Meatchicken."

Yost said...

Man, he couldn't spell "drawings." Meatchicken was an upper level class.

skeetskeet said...

What I can't believe is that this guy is a homestarrunner.com fan. That seems several levels beyond his sense of humor. I don't even know how he figured out how to put a website up. Come on, when you think about it, it has to be about a 12 or 13-year-old kid, right? Otherwise the prospect of him walking around unchaperoned is just too scary.

The King said...

I say what SkeetSkeet said.

Yost said...

There's no good spin here, guys. If he is a 12 or 13 year old kid, then mom and dad need to pay a little more attention to Junior's love of turds and guns.

And if he is that young, wonder where he learned to express his "love" of Ohio State in such a classy way. Probably from dear ol' dad.

Nicole said...

Um, so the drarings thing is an old Saturday Night Live sketch with Mike Meyers. He was supposed to be a little British kid in a bathtub and he would sing "oh you know my name is Simon, and I like to do drarings."

Yost said...


You really think, judging by the guy's artwork, he's hip enough to do an inside joke like that?

I'd have to vote no.

Anonymous said...

I thought the poo looked like Lake Erie, I mean they go the color right...and the yello dot represented where they thought Michigan was located on a map. I hear there are a lot of Geography majors at THE Ohio State University!

Anonymous said...

It was actually done by a Michigan fan in order to make it look like a little kid did it. seriously.

carl tabb said...

Funniest damn thing I've read in a long time. Great site.

Yost said...

Thanks, CT.

Hoosier Buck said...

The last five years must really hurt youse guys up north. LOL!

carl tabb said...

I was just perusing the archives when I stumbled across this gem. I can't believe I had forgotten about this one since it was this very bit that made me bookmark this blog. I laughed 'til I cried, just like the first time (reading the post, that is).
Was draring #8 (listed first, DUH) on the site when you posted this? That has got to be the lamest piece of shit I've ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on. That might be the proof that this was done by a 3rd grader.
How about draring #6 (logically nestled in between #'s 9 and 7 - in that order)? I love the dash in "Michigan". That oughta look sweet on a T-shirt.

Anonymous said...

Every college (and pro team for that matter), has idiot fans. I don't know about a majority, but many Ohio State fans respect our opponents, especially Michigan. Don't be as big of an idiot as some of these people by thinking all Ohio State fans are like this.

The Game = the best there is to offer in all of college football.

The Big Ten is still year in and year out the best conference in all of college football.

Anonymous said...

whoever made this is a fuckin tool we'll c come november 18..u and your school r both jokes go suck on jim tressel

Anonymous said...

wow. classic OSU...can you imagine the buckeye fan that came up with those designs? "HANG ON SLOOPY! I THINK WE'VE GOT A REAL GOOD T-SHIRT IDEA! OH MAN THIS SHIT'S GONNA BE HILARIOUS."