Rants, comments, thoughts and funny - mostly funny - on all things Michigan and college football.

If you have ideas, tips, links or pictures for the blog, e-mail us at: MichiganZone at gmail dot com.

Thanks for checking out the M Zone. And if you enjoy the site, please pass the link on to a friend or two. We'd sure appreciate it.

Twitter: @MZoneBlog


Best Of Tat and Tresselgate

M Zone Videos

Best Of MZone 2.0

Best Of The Original MZone

Tosu Favorites

MZone Archive

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Two Minute Drill

* SC fullback forced to move back to linebacker due to injuries.

(HT: DW)

* Do bettors know something? 73% of at Sportsbook.com are putting their money on Michigan in Rose Bowl

(HT: DW)

* Finally, reader TB sends us this picture of a Crimson Tide Christmas...

Know Your Foe - USC

The Wolverines head to Pasadena to play in the 93rd Rose Bowl game against Southern California. This will be the 19th appearance in the Rose Bowl for Michigan, and the eighth time they’ll be playing USC in Pasadena, having lost five of the last six against the Trojans. The stakes of the game are merely window dressing: a likely #3 ranking (though who knows, with the polls), and a probable #1 ranking in the pre-season for 2007 (for whatever that’s worth). USC is one of only two Division I teams that have played more than four games against Michigan to have a winning record against the Wolverines, having won five out of the nine meetings. Anyone? Anyone? Army is the other, with a matching 5-4 record against the Wolverines. So with that knowledge in the memory banks, it’s time for the final version of the MZone's KNOW YOUR FOE.

History – USC was founded in 1880 with 53 students and 10 faculty members. The school was actually founded as a Methodist university. In 1879, Judge Roberty Widney led a board of trustees that received a gift of land from three Los Angelinos - Ozro W. Childs, a Protestant horticulturist; former California governor John G. Downey, an Irish-Roman Catholic pharmacist and businessman; and Isaias W. Hellman, a German-Jewish banker and philanthropist. In addition to the land, Ozro, John, and Isaias (I love those names) established an endowment that would support the school. The first graduating class of three – including a female valedictorian – received their diplomas in 1884.

The school has grown to an enrollment of 33,000 students, evenly split between undergrads and grad students, about half the students are from out of state, and it is the largest private employer in the city of Los Angeles.

Location – Los Angeles, California. Not quite Mount Pleasant, Iowa City, or Madison. Los Angeles is the second largest city in the U.S., and the and at just under 4 million, it’s population is 41st in the world. L.A. County has just under 10 million residents. It’s big enough to house another major university (UCLA), just about the entire film, TV and recorded music industries, and it sets many trends that the nation follows, for good and for bad. Some of its communities are as well known as most cities: Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, East L.A., Hollywood, Westwood, Venice Beach and the San Fernando Valley. The Mediterranean climate – where the average temperature varies from only 65 to 82 degrees – has long since been an attraction to people moving there as well as visitors.

Nickname - Trojans. Despite being a rather common nickname in high schools and at lower levels of NCAA competition, USC is one of only two Division I football teams with the Trojan monicker (Troy State being the other). And boy, do they love their Trojans at USC. The students are known as “Men/Women of Troy.” One of the major campus landmarks is the Trojan Shrine where a statue of Tommy Trojan is displayed. It's a life-sized bronze statue of a Trojan warrior sculpted by Roger Noble Burnham and was unveiled in 1930. Inscribed on the pedestal are the qualities of the ideal Trojan: "Faithful, scholarly, skillful, courageous, and ambitious." I guess O.J. had some of those qualities.

Trojans hasn't always been the nickname of USC, though. Until 1912, the sports teams were known as the Fighting Methodists or the Wesleyans, though neither name was official. It's interesting to wonder if the USC football team would have even come close to their history of success if they'd kept either of these names. The Trojan name actually came about in defeat. During a track and field meet with Stanford, USC was eliminated from winning after only a few events. However, the team didn't give up and ended up losing by just a little. Afterward, Los Angeles Times sportswriter Owen Bird wrote that the USC team "fought like Trojans," and the name was officially adopted soon after.

– Traveler, a live horse. Traveler is a white steed that carries a "Trojan warrior" - usually just some kid from Orange County whose dad gave seven figures to SC - into the stadium. It's actually been one of the great traditions in college football since it began in 1961. They are currently using Traveler VII. Before the L. A. Coliseum was renovated in the 1990's, there was a running track around the filed that proved to be a perfect area for Traveler to trot during the games. But with the removal of the track, and with just about every celebrity in town- and Snoop's posse - on the sideline during games, the riding has become much more treacherous for Traveler, and he even had a minor accident with a spectator in 2000.

But Traveler wasn't the first mascot for USC. Believe it or not, a campus mutt named George Tirebiter was the mascot starting in 1940. Yes, the dog was so named because he went around campus chasing cars. There's even has a statue in his honor on campus.

Colors – Cardinal and Gold. For the first 15 years, USC's color was gold. I guess it was too early to have more than one color. During that time, the College of Liberal Arts had its own color, cardinal. In 1895, the university had a crazy thought and decided to actually have TWO official colors, so cardinal and gold it was. The color scheme isn't the most unique. After all, Michigan's already faced one opponent with the exact same combo this year - Minnesota - and another with a very similar scheme, Central Michigan. USC's not even the only school in the Pac 10 with the color scheme as Arizona State is pretty much same, though they emphasize the gold part more. But when I see the cardinal and gold color scheme I think of USC. Maybe it's because of their greatness on the field. Or maybe it's how they've barely changed their uniforms over the years. Or maybe because it looks so good on the Song Girls. Whatever the reasone, USC's colors are perfect for USC.

And do we have to mention how this is the fourth straight game for Michigan against an opponent with red - or scarlet or crimson or cardinal - as part of their color scheme? Red is just far too common in college sports. But we'll allow it for USC. Their version is perfect.

Logo – Interlocking S and C. Though it's a pretty standard style - and not even all that unique - it works for USC. When anyone with any knowledge of college football sees the USC logo they think of the Trojans. No one out there would confuse it for South Carolina, or Siena College. Of course the logo on the helmet of a Trojan head also screams USC. The helmet has changed only once since 1971, when in 1992 the Trojan head was updated, showing the neck with the head turned as opposed to a pure profile. Whether it was the strained neck , or the tie to San Diego State and the loss to Fresno State, USC was back to their traditional version the following year. The only other change has been a return to a gray facemask in 2001. Prior to having the Trojan on the side, which started in 1972, USC had no logo on the cardinal helmet.

Fight SongFight On. If you're one of the few college football fans who can't hum this song, watch the Rose Bowl. I guarantee that by the end of the first quarter you'll be humming it. And you won't be able to get it out of your head until April. The band plays it. A lot. But it's a great song, even if overused. Composed in 1922 by USC dental student, Milo Sweet for a Trojan spirit contest, the words are simple, and the whole thing is only five lines long. The playing of Fight On, with Traveler running around the stadium, and the Song Girls swinging their arms to the tune, with the "V for Victory" sign made with their fingers brings chills to all USC fans. Well, maybe not all the Hollywood bandwagon jumpers they've picked up over the past few years, but certainly the hard core fans.

A mention has to be made here about the Trojan Marching Band, which is also known as The Spirit of Troy. Though the history of the band goes back to the formation of the university in 1880, the modern Trojan band took shape in 1970 with the arrival of Dr. Arthur C. Bartner and his unique "drive-it" style of marching. The band is perhaps the most famous of college marching bands, having performed at the Academy Awards, appearing with OutKast at the 2004 Grammy Awards performing Hey Ya!, and being in numerous TV and film productions. Plus, in 1979, the band recorded the title track for Fleetwood Mac's Tusk album which went platinum. No other collegiate marching band has ever received a platinum album. The so-called "Greatest Marching Band in the History of the Universe," is yet another ingredient that makes USC football what it is.

Academics – Long known as the "University of Spoiled Children" (19% of admissions are still associated with legacy preferences), or the "University of Second Chance," USC has changed its reputation over the past couple of decades. In the latest U. S. News Ranking of America's Best Colleges, USC is tied for 27th, with North Carolina and Tufts. Surprising to most Californians, this is only six slots behind prestigious Cal-Berkely, and only one spot behind UCLA. How has USC made this academic improvement? They used the oldest trick in Hollywood. Well maybe the second oldest since they didn't sleep with a producer to move up. No, they used money. Big time money. USC is the only university to receive five separate gifts of at least $100 million, including $175 million from Star Wars impresario George Lucas. The donation to the then-renamed School of Cinematic Arts, helped solidify that school's top-notch reputation. It is probably USC's most famous school, and grants degrees in screenwriting, film production and film producing and has added an Interactive Media Division for studying video games, virtual reality, and mobile media. Other USC schools that are highly regarded include the Marshall School of Business, the Leventhal School of Accounting, and the School of Architecture.

Athletics – Although most college sports fans would think of football when they think of USC, the Trojans have had great success elsewhere. USC men and women's teams have won 84 NCAA titles, which ranks third all time. This doesn't even include USC's 11 football championships since the NCAA doesn't grant those titles at the Division I level. Since 1912, USC is the only university in the world to have a gold medalist at every summer olympiad. In fact, USC has had more Olympic athletes than any other university in the world. The Trojans won at least one national title of some kind in 26 consecutive years from 1959 to 1985. In addition to the 11 football titles, USC has won 26 men's track and field championships, 16 men's tennis and seven women's tennis titles, and 12 baseball championships (twice as many as any other school). And, not surprisingly, the Men and the Women of Troy have each won six NCAA volleyball titles.

Famous alums – This is the most impressive list of any of Michigan's opponents. Hell, it could be the most impressive list of any school in the country. And though it's heavily weighted to the entertainment industry, it runs the gamut. From hugging and love expert Leo Buscaglia to Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon. Space, bitches. Space, indeed. The list also includes world famous architect Frank Gehry, L. A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss, General Norman Schwartzkopf, humorist Art Buchwald, and Judge Wapner. In the business world, USC alumni include the CEOs of Trader Joe's, Korean Air Lines, MySpace, J. D. Power and Associates, MGM Mirage, Citigroup, Costco, Emmis Communications, and the Willliam Morris Agency. And then there's the entertainment industry. USC has given us Ron Howard, Michael Landon, George Lucas, John Singleton, Marlo Thomas, Robert Zemeckis, Will Ferrell, Herb Alpert, Mark McGrath, John Ritter, Tom Selleck, Cybill Shepherd, Forest Whitaker, and John Wayne. And, of course, there's murderer hunter O.J. Simpson.

The Game – With two standout defenses, and a pair of inconsistent offenses, this one looks to be a low-scoring affair. But so did the tOSU game. Though the scoring won't get as out of hand as it did on November 18, there will be more points in Pasadena than most people expect. And Michigan will score more of them. MICHIGAN 27, USC 20.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Uh...what the hell was that?

Must admit, I haven't been into the bowl season thus far. I mean, Central Michigan against Middle Tennessee? Troy vs. Rice? Utah-Tulsa? Are those college football bowl games or second round NIT match ups? Pardon me if I don't set my TiVo.

Well, out of sheer boredom I decided to tune in to watch some of the UCLA-FSU Emerald Bowl. At least that sounded like a college football game.

But I'm confused.

Because my TV said I was watching ESPN but it sure looked and sounded a hell of a lot like cable access.

Sweet Jesus, was that bad!

Whoever thought it was a good idea to make Dan Fouts a play-by-play guy should either be forced to watch the broadcast again or sandpaper his balls for three hours as punishment. And if you didn't watch the game, trust me when I say both are equally as painful. Because that was about as interesting as listening to the yearly open enrollment benefits seminar at Procter & Gamble.

And the overall quality of the broadcast was just plain frustrating. Like that FSU touchdown on 3rd and nine in the 4th quarter where the UCLA DB ended up on the ground. Fouts kept saying that it was definitely offensive pass interference. Over and over again. So along with everybody watching on TV, I'm wating to see the replay but...nothing.

So Dan adds, "Boy, I'd like to see that one again." Hint,hint. As if he was begging somebody in the truck to show it once more.

Still nothing.

I can only assume they plain missed it. But instead of somebody telling the audience we don't have a good angle and can't show it to you again - after going on and on about the play - they just went to commercial then came back and pretended it never happened.

Oh, and speaking of commercials, equally as bad were the Emerald ads during the game. It's almost like they sponsored a bowl so the CEO's kid who always wanted to be in advertising could shoot some really crappy commercials for his reel.

Now I remember why I've skipped the bowl season thus far. At least I only have to wait two days until the excitement of Clemson-Kentucky, Texas Tech-Minnesota and - yes, and - South Carolina vs. Houston. Somebody pinch me...or sedate me.

Hail, Hail To The Chief

Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States died last night at the age of 93.

Ford lived an extraordinary life: He was born Leslie King Jr. in Omaha on July 14, 1913. Ford's mother divorced his abusive, alcoholic father when he was a toddler. He adopted the name of his step-father, who together with his mother raised Ford in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Ford excelled in the classroom and on the gridiron, enrolling at the University of Michigan following his graduation from high school.

A standout offensive lineman for Wolverine football teams in the mid-1930s, Ford bypassed opportunities to play in the fledgling National Football League to attend Yale Law School. After receiving his law degree, Ford served in the United States Navy during World War II, rising to the rank of Lieutenant Commander.

After returning from the War, the 35-year-old Ford surprisingly defeated an incumbent Congressman, leading to a career in the U.S. House of Representatives that spanned almost a quarter of a century. Because of his reputation for integrity and trustworthiness, Ford -- then the Minority Leader of the House -- was selected by President Richard Nixon to replace the scandal-ridden Vice President Spiro Agnew in 1973. A year later Ford ascended to the presidency when Nixon resigned due to the disgrace of the Watergate. As President, Ford did much to help heal the nation during this turbulent time, though he narrowly lost the presidency to Jimmy Carter in 1976. Ford enjoyed an active retirement in Colorado, California, and Michigan since leaving office; his 30 years as former president the longest such stint in American history. He is survived by his wife Betty and their four children.

It is appropriate to note here at the MZone that Ford remained a proud Michigan Man throughout his life, often instructing the Naval Band to play "The Victors" instead of "Hail to the Chief" at official presidential functions.

The MZone sends our sincerest gratitude to President Ford for his impressive and important commitment to the University of Michigan and the United States of America.

This post was written by MZone contributor IC.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Pasadena or bust!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday. Just got this picture postcard from Benny who's already out in Los Angeles for the Rose Bowl. Apparently he and a new friend hit the beach for a little holiday fun in the sun.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Actually, I'm a little shocked by this picture: I can't believe Benny wore antlers in the USC colors. Shame on you, Benny. Next time show a little team pride, would ya?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Holidays!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday.

Benny and Yost

Friday, December 22, 2006

Beer Bong Friday

In this inaugural edition of Beer Bong Friday, we present the clip below from UW-Madison. As the video clearly shows, there's a reason they have a rep as being a good party school. With so many beer companies in the state they know the importance of doing things right. Furthermore, they understand the #1 rule of the beer bong as explained by this gentlemen...

"I don't drink foam, bitch."

Ah, truer words were never spoken.

Send us clips of you, your friends or co-eds partaking in the college beer bong tradition. Something tells us this could become a regular feature here at the MZone.

Holiday Buckstache

Throwing rocks, an OSU shirt and a Buckstache. Sometimes, it's just too easy...

Tuesday, Ohio authorities arrested a man who was caught on camera throwing rocks at the Republican Headquarters in Columbus. The 58-year-old man is being held in the - sing it with me - Franklin Coouuuun-eeeee jail.

Authorities suspect he thought there were Michigan fans inside.

(HT: DN)

Even If It's True It's Unfair

While checking out espn.com's college football page recently, I noticed that they made a pretty harsh comment about the Arkansas quarterback. Sure, he hasn't played that well recently, but this was just uncalled for.

Click on the picture to see a bigger version.

Two Minute Drill

* Check out friend of the MZone Jonathan Tu's ESPN-style interview with Urban Meyer.

* Looking for a last minute gift for the Wolverine on your list? Well...

The U-M "Fridge Frame" allows you to organize all those tailgate photos in an easy, Go Blue sort of way.

Here are some desktop themes that will turn your computer in a U-M machine.

* And in the spirit of the season, we even have done our best to find some holiday shopping ideas for our friends in Ohio. For the well-to-do Buckeye fan looking for something to torch after the next big "celebration" in Columbus, be sure to get one of these officially licensed OSU sofas.


Thursday, December 21, 2006

Your Life vs. College Life

Another in an occasional series...

Your Life

After a crappy year in which two of your friends were fired and your job hangs in the balance due to corporate downsizing, you have to top it off by going to the office Christmas...Holiday...Winter party to hang out with people you don't like to begin with. Plus, since your company is so damn cheap, the party's being held at that crappy Mexican place which just had the health scare.

And with sexual harrassment suits more common than holiday bonuses, so much for hitting on Debbie in Human Resources.

Worst of all, due to legal reasons, there is no longer an open bar. Couple that with the fact that you have to drive 35 minutes to get home afterwards and you'll probably only have one beer.

College Life

While your parents actually think you're studying for "one more final," you actually finished last week and are staying in Austin to party for a few more days. Why go home to visit with Aunt Doris when those couple days after finals are some of the wildest on any college campus on America, right up there with those days before classes start in September?

Best of all, a bunch of the hot sorority girls next door did the same. And judging by the shirt one of them wore over to your place to "pre-party" with you and your roommates before hitting the town, she just might be interested, horny or both.

Best of all, while you merely offered the girls a Corona from the fridge, it was her idea to try out the beer bong she saw you do at one of your parties this semester. As she drops to her knees and takes it in her mouth, you try to be somewhat of a gentlemen and at least pretend to fight the mental image invading your brain. No luck. "I bet you can suck the golf ball out of a fucking garden hose," comes flying out of your mouth. Oops.

But instead of a sexual harrassment lawsuit or even so much as a dirty look, you get a laugh and a smile. Unfortunately, you don't enjoy it as you should, mistakenly assuming, as any 21 year old does, that this sort of shit will go on for the rest of your life after you graduate.

Yes, yes we all wish we were a beer bong after watching that. Ok, except for our female readers.

ED. NOTE: If you are a female reader and still wish you were beer bong after watching that, please email us.


You've heard of OnStar? Well, apparently a lot of the cars driven by members of the Ohio State football team are coming equipped with their version of the service called BuckStar. Click here to find out more.

Truly an amazing option.

Believe it or not, we're pretty sure the little skit above was from a Columbus radio station...and a DJ who is no longer on the air. Shocking.

MZone left out of top 5, Benny and Yost on hot seat

(from MZone wire reports) Blogosphere, CA -- Sports Media Challenge announced the Sports Blog Index, its list of the five most influential fan blogs and the MZone was nowhere to be found, leading to speculation that founders Benny and Yost might be on the hot seat.

The inaugural Sports Blog Index focused on college football and was measured using a combination of three criteria: influence, fan engagement and quality. Based on those standards, the top five highest scoring blogs were:

1. Deadspin
2. Every Day Should Be Saturday
3. Burnt Orange Nation
4. M Go Blog
5. Bruins Nation

Immediately after the poll's release, rumors began to swirl that Benny and Yost would be forced to step down following a season that had started with so much promise but which ended with the MZone finishing unranked.

After the Colin Cowherd controversy in March, when the site got a Fark main page link and 40,000 visitors in a single day, hopes were high that this could be MZone's year to challenge Deadspin for the title.

But it was not to be.

After that big early season splash, fan outrage began to build as a result of a preponderance of anonymous Buckeye fans posting on the site and the sudden disappearance of the Blog Co-ed Showdown which had been a reader favorite. Many saw the number of Buckeye fans on the MZone and the lack of semi-naked former-ASU-cheerleaders-turned-porn-stars as proof that Benny and Yost had lost institutional control of the site.

Thus, the "Fire Benny and Yost" drumbeat began to build across the blogosphere with readers starting such websites as BennyAndYostSuckBigHairyMonkeyBalls.net, .com, .org and .uk in addition to scathing articles about the pair written by Detroit Free Press columnist Drew Sharp. Sharp has been especially critical of the MZone's Know Your Foe columns saying, "We already know who the foe is. It's in the schedule. How fucking lame."

ESPN radio even reported that former Miami head coach Larry Coker was being interviewed for the head MZone position, Rick Neuheisel was begging for it and Dennis Erickson had expressed interest even though he had just left Idaho for ASU two weeks ago.

But at a press conference yesterday, Benny said he and Yost had the full support of the administration and that the AD had given the pair a vote of confidence.

"Yost and I don't pay attention to that sort of talk. You media types listen to your eBays and your Internets too much. But it's not a truck you can just change the tires on. So we'll be here tomorrow doing what we do best -- finding YouTube clips so we don't have to create original content."

Yost also took a swipe at Nestor over at Bruins Nation who had been campaigning hard the last two weeks for his blog to get the number five slot.

"I don't appreciate some of the negative comments the Bruins Nation guy has been making about the MZone," said Yost who seemed to be referring to statements Nestor made saying that if the MZone got the number five spot, he wouldn't recognize them as part of the Sports Blog Index.

Nestor also had said repeatedly Bruins Nation had much tougher time blogging than the MZone. "They're a Michigan blog. How hard is it to blog about a team that was in the national title hunt all season? Try blogging about a Karl Dorrell-coached team some time and see if that doesn't make you want to sandpaper your balls. Plus, those caption contests of theirs? Suck-ola."

Oh, Desmond. Des, Des, Des

As a Michigan fan this...this is just embarrassing. But pretty damn funny.

In case you missed it, Desmond was on ESPN giving his analysis of the Holiday Bowl between Cal and Texas. Only problem is, Cal is playing Texas A&M. And no, it's not just a single slip of the tongue. Just...just watch.

(HT: Sru)

MZone -- Now New and Improved!

Light blogging today as we upgraded to the new version of Blogger and had to deal with that housekeeping stuff.

Does This Helmet Make Me Look Fat?

The MZone has obtained this transcript of a conversation from Eugene, Oregon just before the announcement of UO's new helmet designs....which comes just a few months after the announcement of their new uniform designs.

"What's wrong, O?"

"I have nothing to wear to the Las Vegas Bowl. Nothing."

"What are you talking about? What's wrong with the green uniform I gave you? We've had great times in the green one. You're even kind of known for the green one."

"The green one sucks, Phil. Everyone's seen me in the green one."

"Ok, what about the old yellow one? I always loved you in that. We met when you were wearing the old yellow one. Remember?"

"I wouldn't be caught dead in the old yellow one. It's so...not me anymore. I've changed."

"I think it makes you look retro. And retro is in, right?

"I don't do retro! I'm about state of the art now. I know some people call it ugly, but they're just stuck in the past."

"Fine. What about white? It's classic, even if it's not that identifiable. And it still has that tire tread design that you like so much on it. I spent a lot on that."

(SIGHS) "But BYU will be wearing white. This is supposed to be special. It's Vegas. I need something with a little more flash."

"Well, I was going to save this for Christmas, but since you're 7-5 and playing on the 21st, I suppose I can give it to you early..."

"OHMYGOD! It's perfect! Thank you, Phil! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

(HT: CA)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Cardinal Ruler

Former Michigan quarterback great Jim Harbaugh--pictured sporting a 1980's haircut and an 1880's sweater--was named head football coach at Stanford yesterday.

Harbaugh was hired after leading the I-AA University of San Diego Toreros (yah, I though that was an Arena League team too) to a 29-6 record during his three years as coach. He will return to Palo Alto, where he graduated from high school in 1982, when his father Jack served as a Cardinal assistant coach.

A few thoughts regarding Harbaugh's selection:

* He was also reportedly a candidate for three other jobs: Tulane, North Texas, and Iowa State. I wonder how much of a role Harbaugh's 2005 DUI arrest played in his ultimately being passed over for those jobs.

* I would love to put Stanford on the schedule for a home-and-home-to fill some of those open out of conference dates over the next few years. Stanford is a legit opponent located in a region of top high school talent. Plus, it would be nice to crush Stanford so that their undergrads regret making Michigan their safety school.

* If Harbaugh has a few good years at Stanford, would he become a top or the top candidate to replace Lloyd if he steps down over the next few years, as many expect?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Troy Smith Knows How to Score

Ohio State QB Troy Smith showed his best moves on the field and saw others show their best off it, celebrating his Heisman Trophy win at famed New York strip club, SCORES. According to the "dancers," Smith was a very generous tipper. "He will be a great pro," Scores Girl Kendall said. "He's got it. He's a natural leader. I can tell."

Uh, and just how the hell can a stripper tell this while giving lap dances to old Motley Crue tunes?

In a related story, Scores Girl Kendall has been hired by the Detroit Lions as its Director of Football Operations.

(HT: LM)

You say tomato...

In the wake of UMass losing the Division 1-AA championship game, students in Amherst rioted. School officials promised "swift disciplinary action" after the melee in which 11 were arrested and students lit small fires, smashed windows and threw bottles, cans, rocks and even bicycles at police.

“I’m outraged and terribly disappointed in the students involved in this disturbance,” said Michael Gargano, vice chancellor for student affairs and campus life.

Now, since the story above was sent by SH, a friend of the MZone who is also a Buckeye fan, as an example of how other schools riot, too, I feel compelled to point out that after the Michigan-Ohio State game, some 40 fires were set, 38 people were arrested (four on arson after cars, furniture and trashbins were set ablaze) and fans flipped a car over.

And rather than being either outraged or terribly disappointed, OSU President Karen Holbrook instead "praised" Buckeye fans for their behavior saying, "Our fans proved they are, indeed, 'The Best Fans in the Land." She went on to add that, "For the second consecutive Michigan game in Columbus, we have had safe celebrations. While we will continue to look for ways to make additional improvements, we have turned the corner on fan behavior."

I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder.

Two Minute Drill

What's happening around the blogosphere...

* MVictors breaks down the legend of Ol' 98 vs. a drunken fan during the Michigan-Cal game of 1940.

* Margie Lapanja of the Lake Tahoe area has finished her latest book, an ode to Notre Dame. What do you mean who is Margie Lapanja and why should you read her book about the Irish? Because she's previously written three cookbooks and the Goddess' Guide to Love.

(HT: DW)

* Ok, now THIS is scary: former USC QB Carson Palmer's top item on his Christmas Wishlist is...

The new Kevin Federline CD, "Playing with Fire." Sources tell the MZone that if Santa grants his request, it will also serve to fulfill Federline's top wish: doubling the sales of his CD.

(HT: CA)

* No wonder Urban was pushing hard for that BCS title game bid.

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I'm a public university in the in the northwestern United States. I consider myself outgoing, nationally-accredited and my friends tell me I have an attractive campus. Granted, I'm not as well endowed as some other colleges as the size of my stadium only is 16,000. However, as I like to say, it's not the size of your stadium that counts, but how loud is the crowd. And let's just say I know what I'm doing in that department if you catch my drift.

I'm writing because, for some reason, I can't seem to hold onto a coach. Just this month, another relationship of mine ended suddenly after only a short time and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I'd been seeing this guy, let's just call him "Dennis," for a year when he up and told me he was leaving . He said it wasn't me, it was him. But I didn't believe him. So I checked his cellphone and found out there's someone else. In Tempe, Arizona. An "Arizona State."

I know I shouldn't have gone through his stuff but when I found out he was leaving me, I was hysterical. Especially since this isn't the first time I've let "Dennis" walk all over me like this. I feel like such a whore for letting him back into my life and giving him a second chance. I should have known it would end the same. Because it always does.

With our weather and smaller conference, I know I don't have what that other schools, like that one in Tempe, have to offer. But I'm really nice. And have a great personality.

I guess "Dennis" (like all the rest of them) figures schools like "ASU" will give him the BCS he didn't think he could get from me (which is not my fault! I'd love to give him a BCS if they'd just let me!!! But I have this condition called "mid-major." And it's hereditary!!!!).

Abby, why does this always happen? I can't seem to hold onto a coach. They stay for a couple years then leave as soon as somebody better comes along. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but my longest relationship was only 10 years, and that was something that ended in 1915 (and even he left in 1906 before he came back in 1910).

Is it me? Does my out-of-state tuition make me look fat? I just want someone who likes me for me, and doesn't want to try to change me into the BCS contender I'm not. Do those coaches even exist anymore?

Please help.


Desperate in Moscow, Idaho

Monday, December 18, 2006

What are the odds: U-M #3 in another poll!

Forbes.com has released their poll of America's 10 Smartest Cities and once again U-M finds itself on the outside looking in as Ann Arbor finished third behind Boulder, Colorado and Bethesda, Maryland.

Wolverine fans were incensed because Ann Arbor had been ahead of Bethasda most of the year. But for the last two weeks, Bethesda's mayor has been lobbying hard for his city to be #2.

"Nobody wants to see a Boulder-Ann Arbor rematch," said Bethesda mayor Tom Gillesano. "Plus, Ann Arbor didn't even win their state. Grosse Pointe Park was voted smartest city in Michigan. You should have to win your own state before you get a shot at the title."

Gillesano went on to say that he thought Maryland was the toughest state and, as such, deserved the opportunity.

CBS football analyst Gary Danielson also gave the nod to Bethesda, putting up a graphic on Forbes.com in which he compared Michigan cities to Maryland cities.

"It was simply an off year for Michigan," said Danielson. "Battle Creek? Kalamazoo? Taylor? Flint? Those cities are filled with retards. I'd bet most of them don't even have GEDs. But look at Maryland -- you have Annapolis, Chevy Chase, Baltimore City. Plus, if you throw in Washington, D.C., it's an easy call."

In a related story, Boulder, CO mayor Mark Ruzzin chose not to vote in the final poll, a move which Ann Arbor mayor John Hieftje called "slick."

College Fooball Blogger Awards - Part 1

Joel over at RockyTopTalk has come up with a number of categories for the best college football bloggers for 2006. Each day this week we'll be nominating a few of our favorites and you can make your own nominations with the help of Brian at MGoBlog.

Our first nomination is for The Dr. Z Award which is for cogent, interesting analysis. The criteria include emphasis placed on statistical manipulation, well researched pieces that reveal something new, and/or solid argumentative pieces that function as the authoritative last word on a subject.

In my opinion there's a clear-cut winner in this division: Brian at MGoBlog. And though some people might view this as being a bit of a homer pick since it's a Michigan blog, if they read MGoBlog they'd quickly recant those feelings.

It's not just the weekly anaylsis of Michigan's upcoming opponent. It's not just the freaking play by play breakdown of the most recent Michigan game. It's not even the in-depth season preview for each Big Ten team. It's everything else, including a post-season analysis of his pre-season previews.

Add in the recruiting analysis that rivals any pay site, the brilliant arguments for a playoff, the shining of light on horrible sports writing around the nation, and the general passion and well constructed analysis on just about any topic and you clearly have one of the best blogs you can find regardless of who you cheer for.

Our second nomination is for The Trev Alberts Quits To Do Construction Award which is for comic relief and overall hilarity. This one's for the funniest college football blog.

This is another no-brainer. The funniest college football blog is easily Every Day Should Be Saturday. From Mustache Wednesday, to their hate of Jen Sterger, to the most hilarious captions on the Web, EDSBS is a must read for even the most passive of college football fans. I'm almost afraid to check this site at work for fear of interrupting everyone around me with laughter.

Finally today is The Sports Fans Don't Cry Award for the blog that has suffered through its chosen team's dismal season with the most dignity. The blog has continued engagement in the face of crippling, misery-inducing defeat. A stiff-upper lip and sane reaction to everything crumbling to dust.

This was a bit of a tough call. Not because there were so many blogs vying for this title, but rather because we didn't really read that many blogs of losing teams on a regular basis. There might have been a few we perused early in the season, but after that fifth of sixth loss, the casual fan of that team - and even diehards - stop going back as often. But what's amazing is that some of these bloggers kept plugging away just as if their teams were in the hunt.

And in this category we have a tie. Our first entrant is Spartan Bob, a Michigan State blogger. Isn't following and having to cheer for the Sparties difficult enough? Blogging about them must be painful. So for staying with it, we give Spartan Bob some credit. Sure he hates the Wolverines, but he's kept us on our toes, and we truly have sympathy for the guy.

Our second nominee is UDubDish, a Washington Huskies blog. At least on the football side, MSU has been a perennial underachiever for as long as most fans can remember. So one knows what to expect when they start a blog about them. Not so, U-Dub. There was a time not very long ago when they were not only the creme of the Pac-10, but one of the best programs in the country. Then they got Neuheiseled. And things haven't been the same since. So to soldier on providing new, good content on a regular basis - with the memory of what once was always present - we had to call this one a tie.

Besides, isn't that the way this category should end? In a tie? Blogging for program so down that even a blog nominee about an on-the-rocks program doesn't result in "W", just a moral-victory tie.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Christ, it could be a fucking building!

SEC fans are known for telling the country how tough their conference is. Even though their record against other BCS schools isn't stellar over the past few years, everyone pretty much takes these SEC backers at their word.

SEC fans are also quite vocal about having the prettiest co-eds. And while we've always doubted the first assertion, we never disputed the second. We took their word for it.

Until now.

Because judging by the picture of the Gator "super" fan below, we are starting to question that claim. We mean, really, really, really question it. Like Iraq Study Group question it.

Uh...what the hell is that? Was this some super villain from Action Comics #34?

To find out, we've made this an MZone Caption Contest. Leave us your best in the comments section.

P.S. Looking at the picture again, you know what's scariest (besides the obvious)? The other people behind her aren't wearing costumes. Meaning this wasn't some Halloween party. No, this women just decided to show up like this for the Gator alumni association fall mixer at the Marriott. Sweet Jesus!

P.P.S. And no, we didn't Photoshop that. Benny is sworn to use his powers for good, not evil.

Friday, December 15, 2006

OSU Sod Conspiracy Continues

Looks like Ohio State has figured out another way to make the BCS title game a "home" game.

First, rumor has it Buckeye fans snapped up most of the available rooms in the Glendale area since they knew weeks before Gator fans that they were a lock for the National Championship game.

Now come reports that field conditions at University of Phoenix Stadium are utter crap, ensuring it will seem just like The 'Shoe for the big game on January 8th.

In a related story, Urban Meyer issued a statement saying the country didn't want to see the same poor quality sod used in the BCS game that was used for the Michigan-Ohio State game. He said it would be unfair to the Buckeyes to have to win on that turf twice in the same season.

Furthermore, Meyer said he would not recognize that sod if it was used in college football's title game saying sod from Gainesville deserves a shot because, as everybody knows, the best sod in the country is in the SEC.

(HT: LM)

They Sent A News Crew Out For This?

Just another rollicking good time in Ohio.


Light Thursday...

Light blogging today as real life has intruded. But we still found a couple nuggets...


EDSBS found this video of an Ohio State "rapper." It could be the worst thing ever...which also means it's one of the funniest things ever.

Ohio State is the "Beast of the East?" Nice geography, RunDIC.

And I notice he couldn't resist a couple "Fuck Floridas" in there. Talent and class.


Brian at MGoBlog has a great playoff idea.


Sean at MSC says there's a credible rumor going around that Jake Long will return for his senior season. Cross your fingers and toes, U-M fans.


The folks at Burnt Orange Nation are asking Longhorn fans this as UT prepares to make the bowl trip Michigan did last year. An outsider's opinion? In hindsight, I think it's best that Michigan lost that game last year. Yes, you heard me right. If we win, go 8-4, maybe, just maybe it doesn't seem as bad and Herrmann stays on. Not good.

So, as Texas fans ponder how they feel, first answer this question -- Got any coaches you want to get rid of?


So says this excellent ESPN article.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Help Wanted

Man, I realize they're having a tough time filling the coaching slot at 'Bama but I didn't know things were this desperate in Tuscaloosa. Craigslist? How...sad.

Click on the listing below for a larger view.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Please Remove Your Cleats....

Who the hell designed the country's airport security system? I'm starting to think it's the same geniuses who came up with the BCS.

Why? Well...

In addition to the usual indignities at airport security that we all experience, before his flight back from New York, Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith had to get rid of more than just his fingernail clippers and that tube of toothpaste he forget in his carry-on: the TSA folks wouldn't let him bring the Heisman Trophy on the plane.

Oh...come...on. Seriously? What, was he kneeling toward Columbus and reciting Woody Hayes mantras?

Yeah, forget all the guns and knives that always slip through each time you turn on one of those Dateline specials. Good to know the TSA is keeping us safe from Heisman Trophy-winning QBs just in case they suddenly go on a rampage at 35,000 feet. We call all breathe a little easier today, folks.

In the end, Smith had the trophy shipped back to Columbus to avoid the problems former Buckeye Eddie George had when trying to get his Heisman through an airport X-ray machine after winning the award in 1995: George's trophy lost a finger and had one bent in the incident.

Wow, the Heisman Trophy is a banned, no-fly item. Who says the terrorists haven't won?

In a related story, Michigan coach Lloyd Carr is looking into the possibility of recruiting TSA workers for next season as they're the only folks he's seen in the last three years who were capable of stopping an Ohio State QB.

P.S. Speaking of the Heisman, SI ranks the last 20 winners. Interesting.

Season's Greetings from...Me!

MZone reader and one of our favorite Buckeyes (we have two or three) Lane sent us a link to the "Elf Yourself" thing that is going around the Internet. He put one together with yours truly. Funny stuff. And damn am I sexy!

"Blogs rule!"

WARNING: Don't spend all day sending a butt-load of these to family and friends. TRUST US here. Seriously. Walk away from the computer. NOW. Ok...

The MZone Gift Giving Guide

As we move along in this holiday season, we thought it'd be a good idea to make a couple of suggestions to our readers on what to get that college football fan in your life. Or even better, what to suggest to your friends or family on what to get you.

First up we have the Vintage Leather "Old School" Collegiate Helmets. Though these wouldn't be adequate for playing Division I football, they'd be great to keep you warm for November games, as well as looking cool while playing that game of touch football when the family gets together. Unfortunately, they're only available for twelve schools, but if you're a fan of one of those, this would be a gift that keeps on giving.

Next up we have the College Logo BBQ Football Grills. Available for 26 schools, including Michigan, these football shaped grills - complete with laces on the lid - are 21 inches tall, 22 inches wide, and 15 inches deep.

Both items are available at Tailgating Supplies. The helmets are $95.95, and the grills are $69.95.

And if you're looking for some Michigan memorabilia, check out this eBay auction for a football signed by the '64-'65 U-M football team.

The 2006 College Football Blogger Awards

While yesterday we put up a post about our internal MZone awards called the The Zonies, there is a more widespread awards "show" brewing at Rocky Top Talk for all college football bloggers across the Internet.

The categories and details are listed on the site linked above. Check it out and vote, no matter who you vote to nominate.

Rightfully so, bloggers can't nominate themselves, so we'll be putting up our votes in the near future.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

We Are...Really Sorry He's a Marshall Fan

(HT: DG)

We'll Be Right Back After This Message...

Here's one more reason to hate the whole BCS, and general commercialism in college sports even more...

According to the always excellent Uni Watch blog, Florida will not be wearing their 100-year anniversary of football patch that they’ve worn throughout the season. In it’s place will be a commercial for Tostito’s. Of course the Nike commercial will remain in it’s normal position, on the right front shoulder. What’s interesting is that the Gator logo – the one they should have on their helmets – remains, though it’s now not part of the anniversary patch.

Hmmm…all of this talk make me realize that I have to stock up on chips for the bowl season. But I’m going to get mine at Trader Joe’s.

Blogpoll Roundtable - Special Michigan Post-BCS Edition

Jim over at Conquest Chronicles, a USC blog, has proposed an additional Blogpoll Roundtable, this one specifically for Michigan bloggers. The questions are in bold below with our responses immediately following.

1. Have you recovered yet from Michigan's exclusion from the national championship game? We've heard the "experts" give us their opinion on why Michigan dropped from 2nd to 3rd without snapping the ball. What do you think really happened here?

Personally, I needed all of one minute to recover. During last Sunday (and even on Saturday night during the SEC Championship) it became quite apparent that the pick was going to be Florida. Obviously I held out hope, but wasn’t optimistic. What really made me sick was the Fox BCS Selection Show. It made it very easy to rationalize Michigan playing in the Rose Bowl on ABC.

The experts are idiots. These are the same guys who said that Michigan would get into the BCS Championship game if USC lost. So they know nothing. Which is probably about what I know. What it came down to is the pollsters basically saying they didn’t want a re-match. Was it because they felt that “Michigan had their chance?” Or that they thought it would be more exciting to get a new team to play tOSU? Or was there some vast anti-Big Ten conspiracy? Probably a little of the first two of these things. Though we’ve complained on the site about Urban Meyer’s whining leading up to the final poll, we never really felt like Michigan got ripped off. At least not any more than Florida would have if Michigan was selected. Interestingly, I think the computers probably had it right – these teams are very close and to be able to say that you can distinguish which one is better is complete horseshit. That’s why there needs to be a playoff – so that they can prove it on the field and not have it subject to politicking, when the games are played, or perceptions on schedule strength.

2. We admire Lloyd Carr for having enough dignity to refrain from campaigning for BCS positioning. Pete Carroll has the same approach. Still, it was nice to hear Carr call out Urban Meyer for his whiny Tuberville impression. What's your take on the "southern inferiority complex"? What do you think about this season's conventional wisdom, which is that the Big-10 is weak ... despite having arguably the two best teams in the country?

Isn’t the SEC the only conference that has a major broadcast network all to itself? Sure, the Big Ten gets a ton of exposure on ESPN/ABC, but that’s a bit of a mixed bag. Both tOSU and Michigan had games stashed on the little received ESPNU. Meanwhile, every week there’s an SEC game that gets NATIONAL, not regional distribution that everyone – even those deviants without cable or a dish – can see. Michigan and tOSU had only two national, over the air games all year. Almost all of the games on ABC are regional broadcasts. Not to mention the fact that ESPN also shows SEC games. So any cries of bias against the SEC are ridiculous. Pretty much the entire season, all of the “experts,” including those on ESPN, called the SEC the best conference. This despite the fact that the top teams never play tough out of conference games, particularly on the road, and that the conference finalist gave up 50 points at home to USC.

That brings up the point of how to measure the difficulty of a conference. Is it tougher if it has five or six, solid but flawed teams or if it has two top-five, dominant teams and a bunch of middle of the road teams?. That’s a debate that can’t really be settled. When the Florida backers go on and on about how the SEC is the toughest conference, they neglect to mention one thing about Michigan’s schedule – it contained a certain loss for every team in the country (on the road against tOSU). Although there’s no way of answering this question with certainty, all the pontification about Florida’s tough schedule could be answered with two questions. What would Michigan’s record be with Florida’s schedule, and what would Florida’s schedule be with Michigan’s schedule? I tend to think they’d both be 11-1. Chalk another one up for the computers (and a playoff).

3. After losing to Ohio State and now seeing Michigan's remaining hopes dashed while other teams made their case on the field, what is your assessment of the Wolverines' psyche going into preparations for the Rose Bowl? How will Carr get them ready?

It’s an interesting matchup against USC for many reasons, one of which being the psyche of both teams heading into that game. Will Michigan go in with a point to prove, that they deserved another shot at tOSU and play with reckless abandon as they did against Notre Dame and, for the most part, against tOSU? Or will they be like Cal in 2004 and Oregon last year when both felt slighted by the BCS bowls and feel sorry for themselves and lay a turd on the beautiful Rose Bowl turf?

The same questions could be asked of the Trojans. Will they be focused to prove that the UCLA game was a fluke and they were the right team to face the Buckeyes before that, or will they feel their season has no goals at this point, having blown the national title chance and the game to their crosstown rivals?

Against top competition, Lloyd Carr has done a good job of having his team mentally ready in the past. I would expect him to do the same, and have the team focused on breaking their bowl losing streak. I expect Pete Carroll to have his team ready as well – these are two of the top coaches in the game.

4. What is the general impression of Tressel abstaining from his poll vote, his vote for UM would have surely put you guys in the title game. Some have commended him for staying neutral others have hammered him for not having the guts to take a stand. How do you feel?

I don’t see how Jim Tressel’s abstention kept Michigan out of the title game. Florida ended up with 1470 points while Michigan had 1444. If Tressel puts Michigan 2 at and Florida at 3, the totals still tip to Florida, 1494 to 1467. Hell, even if Tressel left the Gators off his ballot entirely, Michigan wouldn’t have jumped the Gators. So I don’t see why any Michigan fan has a problem with him not voting. I totally disagree with Lloyd Carr who claims that Tressel didn’t vote because he didn’t want Michigan in the title game – again, it wouldn’t have mattered how he voted, though I guess Tressel had no way of knowing this ahead of time.

I actually agree with Tressel on this 100% for a couple of reasons. His stated reason was to not have to face a team he placed #3 (and essentially chose not to face). I can understand why he wouldn’t want this situation, and it’s ludicrous to put a coach in such a situation.

But the foremost reason for supporting his decision in abstaining is that a coach should not be able to pick who he gets to play in a championship game. Granted, his vote ended up not mattering in the final BCS poll, but it could have. What if his vote was the reason Florida (or Michigan) got in the championship game? Did he vote that way to give his team an easier matchup? Choosing your opponent for a championship is just a step or two away from point shaving – it compromises the nature of fair competition and no coach should ever have the opportunity to do so. Just one more log on the fire of why this whole system of choosing a college football champion is the worst thing in all of American sports.

The Zonies

As Benny and I draw to the end of our first full calendar year running the MZone, we thought - and a couple readers suggested - that, like Hollywood, we should have an awards show here for the site. But, instead of us coming up with the categories, what do our readers think they should be? And not only the categories, but what should be the nominees in each? We want your opinion since the winners will be chosen by our readers.

Some category/nominee ideas are:

* Post of the Year
* Best Regular Feature (Know Your Foe? Your Life vs. College Life? MZone Caption Contest? BCS?)
* Funniest Photoshop

Also, since this site would just be basically like public emails between between Benny and me if not for you, the loyal MZone reader, we want to give props to those that tune in each day. Thus, what are some "reader categories?" For instance:

* Best commentor?
* Best comments
* HT of the Year
* Most loyal reader

Anyway, you get the idea. Those are just the ones off the top of our noggins. Leave us your suggestions.

Your Life vs. College Life

Another in an occasional series.


After remembering at 7:35 a.m. that your asshole of a boss has called a mandatory 8 a.m. meeting, you make it to the subway just in time. There are no seats left so you are forced to stand next to a poorly dressed man who smells as if he bathed in a vat of Romano cheese. But at least that almost cancels out the smell of urine emanating from the homeless woman to your left who keeps staring at you while humming old Huey Lewis and the News tunes.


Still hung over from a night of bar hopping...on a Wednesday, you blew off your 10 o'clock and your 11:30 but figured you'd at least make an effort to get to your 1 o'clock, if for no other reason than the cute brunette who always sits in the back with her iPod. Since strenuous physical activity such as walking across campus seems painful this afternoon, you decide to take the campus bus where you meet the girls below. After finding out you were all at the same bar last night, they invite you to join them for lunch. Hey, you can always go to that 1 o'clock some other time.

(HT to JZ for the pic)

Monday, December 11, 2006

This is EXACTLY what we're talking about

MZone readers PL and KG sent us this t-shirt design which is floating around Ohio these days...

Note the Michigan dig at the bottom. So let me get this straight...

- Their team is #1 in all the land
- They're undefeated
- Their QB won the Heisman
- They're going to the National Championship game

Yet they still have to bash Michigan?

Imagine if Michigan were playing Florida in the title game. Do you really think any U-M NC gear would include a mention of Ohio State? Fat chance. Who would give a shit?

So why is the mentality around Columbus such that Buckeye fans can't simply enjoy their success and cheer their team on? Almost seems they're more excited that Michigan lost than the fact that their team won. Which is probably why one hears more cries of "Fuck Michigan!" rather than "Go Bucks!" outside the 'Shoe during The Game.

Pathetic...but not surprising.

P.S. To any Buckeye fan tempted to respond to this post on a Michigan site, think long and hard about leaving a comment lest you further prove this point.

P.P.S. And is the picture above supposed to be Tressel? Damn, that is some shitty artwork. It looks more like Benny's friend's dad. And he's African-American.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Troy Smith Got Screwed

Did former SEINFELD actor Michael Richard tabulate the votes for the Maxwell Award? Because that's about the only logical way we can think of for Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn to have won the award for player of the year over Ohio State QB Troy Smith.

I mean come on!

As U-M fans, we are no lover of Ohio State and we're thrilled Troy Smith has used up his eligibility for selfish reasons. But in the biggest games, he plays his best (as U-M fans know all too well). This year alone, he led his team to an undefeated season and victories over two #2 teams, the first time that has ever happened.

And Brady Quinn?

Uh, um, he looked good against 4-8 Michigan State...in the 4th quarter. The only award he should have won over Smith is the Commander in Chief Trophy in recognition of Notre Dame's stirring victories over the service academies.

Seriously, who counted up the votes for this thing? The old accountants for Enron?

What bullshit.

Friday, December 08, 2006

This has GOT to stop

We were stunned to read a post on USC's AOL Fanhouse site about a 32 year-old USC fan who lost an eye after he and a friend were severely beaten by a group of at least 10 UCLA fans before last weekend's game at the Rose Bowl.

According to this story on the website of LA's CBS affiliate:

Daniel Crowson, whose face was scraped and bruised, told reporters he lost an eye when he and a friend were set upon by as many as 10 UCLA fans simply they were "convenient" and "had the opposing colors on."

"There certainly was no instigation," the Torrance man said.

Crowson said he was taking punches from as many as 10 attackers, then "out of nowhere, I just remember seeing a flash of a bottle come across my face."

A cut to an eyeball took more than five hours to repair in surgery at Kaiser Permanente in Harbor City, he said.

His wife also recounted seeing her husband's injuries. "I see my husband come around the front of the car, covered in blood and just adrenaline-pumped, and screaming and saying, 'They hit me with a bottle, they hit me with a bottle,'" she said. "The glass that hit his eye went through every layer of eye, severing it all, all the way to the jelly."

Folks, I'm so appalled by this, I don't know where to begin. It's just a goddamn football game! And somebody lost an eye over it?!

Laugh or mock me if you want for lumping them together, but this sort of story is exactly why I rail against obscene taunts and the throwing of things - yes, even if it's just an empty cup - at opposing fans at ANY college football game in America: because, when a mob mentality takes over, verbal taunts can often lead to physical altercation. Mix in alcohol and things can get even worse.

The article ended by stating:

Anyone who saw the attack was asked to call Pasadena police at (626) 744-7113.

I'm a little baffled by that. I've been to the Rose Bowl many times and, the way things are set up, if it's just outside the stadium before the game, one would think somebody had to have witnessed this disgusting crime. There had to have been thousands of people nearby. If somebody did see this and didn't step forward immediately, shame on them. In my opinion, they are just as guility.

As college football fans we all need to take responsibility - not simply by not partaking in asshole behavior ourselves - but by doing everything in our power to report or stop it when we see it happening. This has go to stop. Now.

ED. NOTE: If any of our West Coast readers hear of more information about this or an arrest in the case, please let us now.

This Poll Is More Clear Cut

As opposed to the BCS, where there is room for argument about who's #2, the Bottom 10 by David Duffey at espn.com is much cleaner. There are two teams that went winless in this college football season, and they stand atop the new poll.

Seriously, in a case like this, shouldn't these teams have to play so that we have some closure as to who's the worst team in college football this year? I wouldn't pay money to see it, but if there was nothing else on, I'd certainly watch it. It is football, or a reasonable facsimile, after all.

Hell, I'd rather watch that than the MPC Computers Bowl. Or are they one and the same?

What's the Serbian word for "Buckeyes?"

And you thought Columbus was bad? Below is a clip of a free-for-all (including lit and thrown flares -- yes, FLARES!) before a Serbia-Greece basketball game in Belgrade Tuesday.

Aftewards, Karenislav A. Holbrooksovic, president of THE Serbian State University, said she thinks they have turned the corner regarding fan behavior at ULEB Cup basketball games.

Here's a Reuters clip/news story of the event as well.

Mike Price to ASU? Maybe this will make the decision easier

UTEP (and former Alabama-for-like-a-day) coach Mike Price is rumored to be one of the leading candidates to take over at Arizona State. As reader Devil Grad pointed out to us in an e-mail, there couldn't be a more perfect match of coach and university.

In an effort to help Mr. Price with the decision of whether to pursue the ASU job, we're providing a list of the closest "Gentlemen's Clubs" to the Tempe campus. And with the help of Google Earth, we've even provided a map (click on it to see a bigger version):

A. Bombshell's Cabaret Gentleman's Club - How can you beat $10 lap dances?

B. Elite Cabaret Gentleman's Club - the closest one to campus which is good for the access to cheerleaders, but could be bad for your reputation.

C. Sonny's Bar and Gentleman's Club - well off the beaten path in Chandler, it's a more desirable destination for discreet encounters, though may require a hotel and we know how that worked out last time.

G. Christie's Cabaret - closest one to the airport which could come in handy in case another quick exit out of town is required.

H. Suede Restaurant and Lounge - near a number of hotels; just be sure not to let any of the ladies you invite back with you to order room service.

I. Band Aids Show Lounge - I don't know why they'd be wearing Band Aids so you might want to stay away from this one - unless you lose to Arizona becuase then it might be the only one that lets you in.

Oh, and if that doesn't convince you, Mike, may we introduce you to former ASU cheerleader Courtney Cox...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Ok, we like Tom Brady and all but...

As Michigan fans, we're pretty much obligated to like Tom Brady. And why not? He had two great seasons for the Wolverines, has won three Super Bowls, dates a model and generally represents the University of Michigan in only positive ways.

But even we wouldn't go this far (not that there's anything wrong with this).


Two-Minute Drill

* Sean over at Michigan Sports Center has a great story (first posted on the Miami Herald) about Chris Rainey, a star RB in Lakeland Florida who has committed to play for the Gators. In the story, Rainey brags about what it means to be a HS football star in his hometown bragging about a local vendor giving him free clothing and jewelry in exchange for his autograph as well as some lady walking up and giving him a wad of cash. Unreal.

And - surprise, surprise - in an update on his site, Sean reports Rainey is now under investigation by the Florida High School Athletic Association. Enjoy the jerseys, Chris.

(HT: SN)

* Brian at MGoBlog puts up two audio clips of interviews a Detroit radio station did with Gary Danielson and Kirk Herbstreit. M fans will hate Danielson even more as well as gain that much more respect for Herbstreit. At least I did.

* BR at Artificial Turf puts up a scathing article about Jim Tressel and the graduation rate of his players. (Memo to Buck fans: I'm just passing on the link, leave your vitriol over at AT).

* Check out the jacket this prostitute is wearing in this NY Times article that JV sent us. Ok, ok, leave us your smart ass comments.

* And in case you doubted Drew Sharp was a complete assclown (and shitty writer), check out this article where he compares the BCS voting to voting in elections. Uh...huh?

(HT: AS)

* Colt McCommercial - The Texas QB does a local commercial at 16. (HT: DW)

* You knew this was coming - MD sends us a link to SackTheBCS.org.

* Finally, in another example of why sometimes YouTube is a dangerous, dangerous thing, RB sends us this truly horrifying video of an Arkansas fan, uh...cheering in the stands. We're not sure if his excitement is for the 'Hogs or that he won the Billy Ray Cyrus Look-A-Like contest.

On second thought, maybe that is Billy Ray Cyrus.

Look out Corso and Herbstreit

Benny and I don't ever want to hear that we don't make fun of our own on this site as we unleash the clip below on the world. It's apparently from some Michigan fan's basement as he and some buddies watched the M-ND game this season while giving their uh, color commentary. Sweet Jesus!

(HT to JW who sent this our way...we think)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Letter from Iran's President to the American People

Last week, Iran's President wrote a letter directly to the American people urging them to demand an immediate withdrawal of U.S. Troops from Iraq and to reject what he calls Bush's "blind support" for Israel and it's "illegal and immoral" actions in fighting terrorism.

While those points in the letter have received the most attention in the press, the MZone has learned of an additional fourth page of the letter that, until now, NCAA officials have been able to suppress. But, in the interest of free speech, we here at the MZone share it with you today.

Noble Americans,

Were we not faced with the tragic consequences of BCS interference in all that is great in the game of college football;

Were college football fans not God-fearing, beer-throwing, cheerleader-loving and instant replay justice-seeking while the BCS actively conceals the truth and impedes any objective portrayal of college football reality;

And if we did not share a common responsibility to promote and protect the dignity and integrity of the great game of American college football;

Then there would have been little urgency to have a dialogue with you.

While Divine providence has placed Iran and the United States geographically far apart (as well as giving Charlie Weis a multi-million dollar contract despite no signature wins for the program), we should be cognizant that our common human spirit, which proclaim the need for dignity and exalted worth for all January bowl games and not just the title match-up, have brought our two great nations closer together.

Both greatly value and readily embrace the promotion of sporting ideals such as deciding the national championship on the field and not by former coaches from Iowa State who don't even know what the hell the they're talking about. Praise be to Woody.

We are all inclined toward the good of a system that does not thrust Wake Forest vs. Louisville on the world and call it a "big game."

We all deplore injustice, the trampling of peoples' seat cushions when the fat person at the end of the aisle decides to hit the bathroom in the middle of the first half and the intimidation and humiliation of visiting fans in Columbus when walking down Lane Avenue. Praise be to Bryant.

We all detest the darkness, deceit, lies and distortion of ballots that would put Boise State at #2 in the country even though they played a high school schedule or that don't put undefeated Ohio State at #1 because the voter had his head up his ass.

The pure human essence of the two great nations of Iran and the United States, as well as the stupid hats Corso wears on GameDay, testify to the veracity of these statements.

Noble Americans,

Our people have been in contact with BCS officials before and have maintained these contacts despite the attempts of the NCAA trying to tell us there is no playoff for the good of the student-athlete. We see Satan's tongue on this excuse each year by the time that crappy bowl game on the blue Astroturf rolls around.

We, like you, are aggrieved by the ever-worsening pain and misery of the Michigan fans hoping to sneak into the title game despite not winning their conference while, in broad daylight, in front of ESPN cameras and before the eyes of the world, persistent aggressions by Urban Meyer turned the process into a mockery. Praise be to Bowden.

For too many years, the BCS regime has driven millions of college football fans mad with their non-sensical bowl games. And you know well that the NCAA has persistently provided blind and blanket support to these traitors, has emboldened it to continue its crimes and has prevented the ticket-buying public from condemning it.

Noble Americans,

You have heard the sad stories of Oregon in 2001, Miami in 2000, and Auburn during that season Tuberville and actually had a reason to. The BCS attempts to justify them through its proclaimed "keeping the integrity of the bowl season intact." But everyone knows such a bowl system, in fact, offends global public opinion, exacerbates resentment toward Notre Dame making a BCS bowl by only beating service academies and thereby spreads Internet taunting on Rivals message boards.

I have no doubt that the American people do not approve of this system and indeed deplore it.

Undoubtedly, the American people are not satisfied with this bowl system and they showed their discontent after the recent horribly produced Fox BCS show. I hope that in the wake of the the Michigan-Florida controversy, the administration of Mike Slive will have heard and will heed the message of the American college football fan.

To sum up:

It is possible to choose a winner on the field.

It is possible to implement a playoff system and keep the current bowl games (except maybe that thing in Toronto starting this season. Does anybody really give a shit about that?).

It is possible to lead the college football world toward the aspired perfection of letting the players decide the championshio and drawing upon the teachings of the Ancient Prophets such as the Gipper, Stagg and Paterno.

I pray to the Almighty, as well as network officials at ABC and CBS, to bless the Iranian and American nations with a true champion in college football.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
President of the Islamic Republic of Iran
29 November 2006

Voters Explain Why They Voted for Florida

BCS voters are now attempting to explain why they jumped Florida ahead of Michigan in their final ballot, including folks such as Harris Poll voter Jim Walden who was the only poll voter in America to have Florida #1, ahead of undefeated Ohio State. The former Iowa State coach said in the Des Moines Register that his stomach churned when he voted Sunday to place Florida at the top of his Harris Poll ballot — but felt he had no choice due to the strength of their schedule. He then further instilled confidence in the system with this comment:

“I have always thought the SEC was the whiniest bunch, who are under the mistaken belief that they have invented football and I have never met Urban Henry,” said Walden in the Register article, mistakenly confusing Florida coach Urban Meyer for a Lombardi-era Green Bay Packer defensive lineman. “I have been drinking a lot of Alka-Seltzer today.”

Uh...yeah. These are exactly the sort of folks who should be deciding college football's champion.

Other possible explanations for the crazy voting, especially in the Harris Poll, include...

And of course this one...

(Big HT to JZ once again for the video!)