Tomorrow, Michigan faces Minnesota for the 99th time, with Michigan holding a commanding 71-24-3 advantage in the series including last season's 58-0 bludgeoning in A2. Both Michigan and Minnesota are 5-3 but the Wolverines are 3-1 in B1G play while the Golden Gophers are 1-3. Of course you knew all that. What you didn't know is below in this week's installment of Know Your Foe - Minnesota 2012.
|This looks like some coin |
recovered from a shipwreck
Location – The Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Yes, there is a campus in each city, kind of like North Campus and Central Campus in Ann Arbor (they even have their version of the Bursley Bus connecting the two). Though the winters in Minnesota last about 11 ½ months, the Twin Cities are actually a fun place. There’s a legacy of great music – Prince, The Replacements, Husker Du and Lazy Bill Lucas (props to Bill for overcoming his laziness and making something out of himself). Mary Tyler Moore lived there, too.
|You've got a dental school - use it|
Have to say, a mascot named after the vermin/varmit/varmint from Caddyshack doesn't quite strike fear into an opponent's heart. Plus, even with such a fine dental school on campus, you'd think the actual Minny mascot would get his teeth fixed by now.
We're told Goldy "energizes thousands of student fans as they chant 'Ski-U-Mah,' a rally cry that means 'Victory UM.'" We at the MZone think it actually just means "another reason not to have a mascot roaming the sidelines. Ever."
|Dreads on your QB? Nice try, Minnie|
Fight Song - The Minnesota Rouser is a very underrated fight song, though the title sounds like a porno movie from 1955 or a drink somebody talks you into trying at 1 a.m. The song was originally known as Minnesota, Hats Off To Thee, and was written by a church choir director. Know Your Foe practically guarantees you've heard it and you might have even hummed it to yourself without even knowing whose fight song it was.
Academics – According the latest U.S. News and World Report Ranking, Minnesota is the #68 National University, same as last year. That ties it with Clemson, Rutgers and BYU - and places them ahead of #72 -- Michigan State (Suck it, Sparty). It has a total undergad population of 34,812 and accepts just under 47% of its applicants
In his 2007 Minnesota KYF, Benny claimed that the pride of the University is the Hubert H. Humphrey Institute which ranks among the top 15 professional schools of public affairs at public universities in the country. I beg to differ. According to the U.S. News and World Report Ranking linked above, the school is 52% female and apparently has coeds going there like former American Idol contestant and bikini calendar girl, Casey Carlson, shown here:
|Must...resist...making..."little brown jugs"...joke|
Stadium/Fans - The Gophers got a shiny new home for football in 2009 called TCF Stadium which is sometimes referred to as "The Bank" or "The Gopher Hole." Unfortunately for the football team, as is often the case with gopher holes in real life, usually others simply come and destroy what is inside leaving nothing but greasy, grimey gopher guts behind.
Athletics – If it weren't for hockey, wrestling and football glory from over 50 years ago, the sports tradition at Minnesota would be pretty lame. Academic fraud wiped out their lone Men's basketball Final Four appearance (as opposed to the cheating that wiped out our most recent Final Fours in the early 90s). But Williams Arena is one of the more unique places to play with those sunken benches. How no one gets hurt diving for a ball, I don’t know. Plus it forced former head coach Clem Haskins to sit on a bar stool, which was kind of cool.
Famous alums – Kind of like their sports teams, good but not great. From actors such as Loni Anderson, John Astin, Peter Graves, TR Knightm Kate Mulgrew, Ron Perlman and a Ghostbuster; to a number of Congressmen and cabinet members you've probably never heard of unless you're from Minnesota; to business leaders including Robert Gore, the inventor of Gore-Tex (the cold weather material, not the robotic inventor of the Internet). In the Space, Bitches, Space category, they have two astronauts. And they have two Vice Presidents but, alas, no presidents. However, they do have Erica, Nicole, and Jaclyn Dahm of Playboy fame.
The Game – Minnesota started the season 4-0, beating UNLV, New Hampshire, Western Michigan and Syracuse then dropped three in a row to Iowa, Northwestern and Wisconsin before bouncing back last week against the corpse that is Purdue. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is Denard healthy? He is? Okay:
Real U-M -28
Other U-M -10