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Friday, January 06, 2012

The "healing" picture you would have gotten had Michigan lost

As I watched the initial ugliness of the Sugar Bowl play out on my TV -- .a 0001 yards per carry average on first down, VT making 3rd-and-long conversions as if Gerg had been named honorary DC before the game, and a Hokie walk-on kicker drilling FGs like he was an All-American -- I mentally picked out the perfect "healing" picture if Michigan ended up losing.  Actually, it wasn't so much a healing pic as punishment.  If the team was going to give the effort that it initially looked like it was going to give, then I was going to give the same effort in finding a healing pic.

The photo I had in mind comes from a previous MZone post on November 1, 2007.  Entitled Caption Contest: M Go Mardi Gras!,  I thought the New Orleans connection and beaded content would have made it the perfect choice based the explanation above.  Thankfully, I didn't need to use it.  Because if you think a loss would have made you ill...

Here's the original post with the pic that would have been used:

Yesterday, reader WM sent us perhaps the greatest single reader-submitted picture in the history of the MZone. NSFW? Folks, this thing is Not Safe For Life!

First, the setup courtesy of WM's email...

"I'm a big fan of your blog and live in Houston, TX. I just traveled up there for the Michigan/Minnesota game, and I wanted to share a pic I took from that game, and more IMPORTANTLY, and picture from Mardi Gras several years ago. I'm wearing a Michigan hat and the rest....well, the rest explains itself! Thought you may be able to use the Mardi Gras pic for some lighthearted comedy!"

Talk about burying the lead. He sends a picture of Michigan running out of the tunnel which is good, you know. Then the one below...

(ED. NOTE: Please finish any and all beverages you are currently drinking before scrolling down)

Do you fine people have idea how many pixels of blackout I had to use to make this remotely semi-safe for our often-R-rated-but-never-X-rated site? Those were the largest areolas I've ever seen in my life - real, pornographic or imagined.

Sweet Jesus! He's being swallowed alive. His buddy right next to him could have been shouting WM's name at the top of his lungs and he wouldn't have heard shit.

And check out the reactions of the guy in the Dolphins hat on the left and the dude in the background. Priceless. Simply priceless.

Folks, this deserves a caption contest - nay, demands it. Here's what we came up with...

"New Orleans ear muffs."
Leave us your best in the comments section while I go gouge my eyes out with a tuning fork.


Dennis said...

What's round on the ends and squished in the middle?

This bust > Richrod's last Bust.

Chad said...


surrounded in columbus said...

"What? no, what? seriously, i can't hear you"

Ramona said...

I am not brave enough? But someone has to tell Yost he didn't use enough pixels.

Dennis said...


Psst. Ramona siad you didn't use enough pixels.