"You can't start winning until you stop losing."
And the Lord reached down from the heavens, placed his finger on the coach and said, "Lo, thy name is genius."
But what can you expect from a coach who can put together a string of profanities that would make Lil' Wayne go, "There's a combo I never thought of." In fact, these aren't the first pearls to fall forth from Coach Kelly. Among the other Kelly-isms the MZone has uncovered:
* "If the QB passes the ball, then it is not a running play."
* "You always must play the first half of the game before the second half starts."
* "A sunny day is just a rain storm minus the water."
* "I've yet to lose a game in which my team scored more points."
* "Holy crap, did Dayne Crist suck ass last Saturday!"
* "A road game is simply a home game in front of the other team's fans."
* "The day after tomorrow will be yesterday in 72 hours."
* "No, seriously, how ass-awful was Dayne Crist last week?! What the fuck?!"
* "A donut without a hole but made of leather ...and covered with laces ...and shaped like a prolate spheroid ...is a football."
* "I no longer think it is possible to wake up the echoes, for I now believe they are in a coma and probably brain dead."
* "A donut without a hole but made of leather ...and covered with laces ...and shaped like a prolate spheroid ...is a football ...that will be thrown right into the arms of the other team's DB inside the opponents' 10 yard line if you fucked up and started Dayne Crist."
* "Touchdown Jesus was really just signaling for a field goal."
* "Profanity is the subconscious's way - minus the "sub" part - of telling your QB the things that will make him a better player... except Dayne Fucking Crist!"
Leave us your favorite Kelly-ism in the comments section.
So I just read this by a writer from the Chicago Tribune quoting ND WR Mike Floyd on playing in the first night game at Michigan: "It's just a regular game, but the sky is dark, and it's on a different channel."
Hell, at first I thought it was just a submission for this post!