In the wake of the new, latest, whatever, scandal brewing at The University of Miami, their President Donna Shalala’s apology is just around the corner. Unless I missed it. I don’t know who’s position it could possibly save or even if it will save her own position within the walls of this hallowed correctional institution. But the actual apology is what I'm waiting for. You see it from politicians, sports figures galore, movie stars and the like. Here’s how it goes: A big news conference is called and the poor unfortunate sap steps to the podium all solemn and pulls a paper from their breast pocket, unfolds it and begins to read their apology.
|How to write a convincing|
I could care less what they're saying, they all sound the same and it's all drivel anyway. Les Miles said that “appropriate action will be taken when it’s deemed necessary” after a couple of his players kicked the crap out of some guys outside a bar. My guess is that will be somewhere around September 4th, right after the Oregon game. I loved his delivery, blaming the car horn and all. So straight faced. Whoa is me. The whole world was watching and what was he doing, looking down reading from a prepared statement, only looking up occasionally to see if anyone is buying this crap he was shoveling. I call bullshit. I mean hell I'm in trouble as much as anyone and I don't get a prepared statement to try and get out of it. If you have to look at a piece of paper to say you didn't know any better or are extremely remorseful you're no better an apologist than you are a, whatever you are. The only time anyone should be allowed a prepared apology is before they're caught and are turning the screws on themselves. Like that ever happens. Take it from an expert, I know apologies. Oh yeah, and Donna’s gonna need to have a husband or good friend stand next her while she’s reading it so we can mock that person as well. I hope she chooses Michael Irvin.