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Friday, March 04, 2011

Your life vs. college life: Go U Northwestern, indeed!

YOUR LIFE

After sitting through a boring-as-hell meeting for 2+ hours that's already running waaaay long, your boss actually has the nerve to ask if folks mind staying an extra 15 minutes (which is still going 25 minutes later) so he can talk about more bullshit that could've been covered in the initial meeting that should have lasted all of about a half hour.

And because of where you're sitting and his view of your seat, you can't even secretly play Angry Birds on your iPhone while pretending to review the work materials. 

COLLEGE LIFE

First off, you're already spending a couple hours a week talking about sex in your Human Sexuality course at Northwestern.

Winning.

Today's class was especially awesome as the topic was bondage, swinging and other fetishes.

More winning.  Duh.

But then, after class was officially dismissed, your professor said students could stick around "if they want" for a demonstration of sex toys and the female orgasm

If you want?  Gee, lemme see: live sex show or Poli Sci 138?  Tough call.

So you and a hundred of your classmates take the professor up on his generous offer.  Next, an exhibitionist couple provide a learning experience that will last a lifetime: the woman undresses on stage and her male partner brings her to orgasm with a device that looks like a machine-powered saw with a phallic object instead of a blade.

As you watch, you can't help but wonder what the wait list is gonna be like for this class next year.  Hell, students from other schools are going to be on this wait list.  "I'm studying abroad this semester - in Evanston."

Yes, it's not often Charlie Sheen is jealous of your life.

If only Econ were this interesting.

Greatest. Class. Ever.

ED. NOTE: C'mon, you know every student in there had a cellphone. Where is this YouTube video?!

5 comments:

GoBlueBob said...

I heard the final exam is oral.

phil said...

Welcome to Northwestern - We know how to make your tuition worthwhile!!

bigGexpress said...

Maybe I will persue that Ph.d after all.

Yost said...

Damn you, Bob - wish I'd have thought of that line for the post!

GoBlueBob said...

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'