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Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Coaching Conclave Continues in Ann Arbor

(from MZone wire reports) Ann Arbor, MI - Michigan fans remained gathered outside Schembechler Hall on Wednesday still waiting for a sign that athletic director Dave Brandon had made a decision regarding the Wolverine head coaching situation.

But the black smoke pouring out of the smoke stack atop Schembechler Hall indicated that Brandon's coaching conclave was continuing.  Wednesday marks the 40th day of Brandon's so-called "evaluation" of current coach Rich Rodriguez making it the longest known job review in recorded history.   

According to tradition, black smoke above Schembechler Hall indicates a coaching decision has not yet been made; white smoke indicates Rich Rodriguez has been fired; and maize and blue smoke along with streamers and lollipops shooting out of the piping would indicate that Jim Harbaugh is the new Michigan coach.

UPDATE: The smoke is now white as Rich Rod has maybe kinda in due time after another 40 day evaluation if Dave Brandon's Magic 8-Ball says so finally been fired.

Meanwhile, after every news outlet in Detroit erroneously announced that he had been fired on Tuesday, Rich Rodriguez celebrated at least one more day on the job by showing off the errant Free Press headline announcing his axing.

(HT to Mikoyan for the idea and RR 'Shop, HT to DC for the smoke pic. Thanks!)


phil said...

Yost, Andy, T9 - you guys are asking for trouble:

Dave Brandon: Rich, what is the worst football blog on this campus?
RR: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dave : Cut the horseshit, coach. I've got their tweets right here. Who photoshopped black smoke coming out of Schembechler Hall? Who keeps putting up Jim Harbaugh pictures? Every Halloween, they laugh at your defensive scheme. Every spring, they ridicule your recruiting record. And now, the final straw is the 3 year long “Evaluation” satire.
RR: You're talking about MZone, sir.
DB: Of course I'm talking about MZone, you TWERP!

wingedhelmet said...

Great Work! Thanks for the effort to provide some humor and distraction from the train wreck that is the Michigan football coach-evaluation-hire-search.

I am reminded how much I missed this site during the hiatus.

I have been "all in" for Michigan for more than 50 years, of course I lost my Michigan Fan/Supporter status 3 seasons ago when I failed to support the hiring of Rich Rod.

I know a little bit about hiring and firing executives and I will give DB the benefit of the doubt that there must exist a set of factors that are not obvious. I will allow that these circumstances are the cause of the sacrifice the last month of the program, the public embarassment of Rich Rod (not that I think a little karma is necessarily a bad thing)and making ND look like the model of Coach hiring efficiency.

I am choosing to believe that either DB;
1. Had an agreement with JH and JH changed his mind
2. Has hired a new HC and is talking RR into staying as OC
3. Has hired a sweater vest wearing coach of another B10 school and had to wait for their bowl to be over

or there is some *unlikely* reason.

Or maybe there is a curse upon the winningest college football program.


Dennis said...

There is something rather Biblical about the 40 day evaluation process. As a Buckeye, I really am starting to feel bad for you guys. Part of that, I imagine, is done in hope that the football gods will not visit this upon our house when Tressel leaves.

The last few years of Michigan and Notre Dame has been like the Cripple Fight between Timmy and Jimmy on South Park. But it has taken some of the fun out of beating you guys at the end of the season. I think your wins in the Cooper years were more satisfying for you than ours have been especially over the last few years. I'm in that subset of OSU fans that wants you guys to win every game until ours. I'd like to see 2006 every year. Except for the epic BCS meltdown part.

surrounded in columbus said...

Well, I for one can't wait for the white smoke to signal the hiring of Brady Hoke. Once THAT happens, we can all rest easy. Talk about your "home run" hires, huh?

Just look in the mirror & repeat it to yourself outloud- "Brady Hoke, coaching genius". Eventually, you'll fall in love with the sound of it.

I know that's what I'm doing (along with still slinging hurricanes after having emptied the bar in the box suite during the game).

It helps. Well, either the liquor or the mantra. But one of them is helping.

whetstonebuck said...


Try this: Serenity Now!

Anyway, the black smoke represents the burning of practice schedules over the past three years.

White smoke is the sign that the evidence is ash, the coast is clear, and RR is fired. After that, it's the lollipop scenario as proposed by Yost.

srudoff said...

Those practice schedules were shredded, not burned.

whetstonebuck said...


Shredded--then burned. Michigan knows that the Freep scours the local landfill looking for evidence to be reassembled or sold.

Bigasshammm said...

Is there anything to the report that Jenn Sterger solicited sex from RR? I mean really this couldn't get any weirder.

Bigasshammm said...

I so miss this cartoon....


Ramona said...

Interesting post. Maybe OC was the position he should have been hired into, instead of HC.

Mikoyan said...

Thank you for the original idea. I just added Rich Rod's face and the Free Press banner to make it more relevant.

srudoff said...

officially fired now

ChicagoWolverine said...

It's now official:


whose next? i need this to be over so i can get back to work rather than hitting refresh on all the sport sites :)

Bigasshammm said...

We should hopefully know at 12:30
I'm hopeful that the delay for the firing yesterday was finalizing the new deal with whoever the new guy is.

If Greg Robinson is named the head coach I will drown myself in my toilet.

phil said...

It's official........oh, wait.........SI reports no decision has been made.......no, wait..........yes, it is official ESPN is reporting.......wait......Detroit Free Press refusing to confirm..........oh, hold it.......yes, it is official. Wait......what was the question?

wingedhelmet said...

My apologies to "Looking Glass"
just hum the tune "Brandy"

There is a coach on a western bay
And he gets a hundred offers a day
Disgruntled Alums pass the time a way
And talk about RR's losses

Theres an AD in this harbor town
And he works laying Offers down
They say Brandy fetch another Bo
He serves them Hoke and Miles

The Alumni say...

Brandy you're a fine CEO
What a good AD you would be

Your Skills could steal a coach from the NFL
Brandy wears a braided chain
Made of the finest silver from the North of Spain
A locket that bears the name of the man Brandy wants
He came on a winters day bearing words that pushed the Alums away
But he made it clear he wouldn't stay
The NFL's his new home

The Alumni say...

Brandy you're a fine AD
What a good boss you would be

Your Skills could steal a coach from the NFL

Brandy used to watch his eyes
As he told his gridiron stories
Brandy could feel his fortunes rise
He saw the potential glory
Lord he was a pompous man

And Brandy does his best to understand

At night when the Bowls close down
Brandy Walks through a silent town
And loves a man who is NFL bound
He still can hear him say
He hears him say

Brandy you're a fine AD
What a good boss you would be

Too bad you are left with just Brady and Leslie!

Ramona said...

OK WHelmet that was very well done!

Grants said...

Heard the smoke is white now. Good luck with JH.

Yost said...

Smoke is now white.

PS Phil, that Animal House thing is hilarious. Need to see if I can make a post out of that.

dtw2phx said...

@Bahammm LMAO! re: GR as HC I might have to fight you for who drowns themself first. UGH!! They should've just left his ass in FL after the game.

Andy said...


If Gerg is head coach - I will become a buckeye fan

Andre said...

Ok, I'm hearing espn and this Drew Sharp a complete dumbass. Saying Michigan fans only care about winning the conference and going to the Rose bowl. Is not a national program. What a dork. I think Jim Harbough will not do that much. He blasted the academics players took back when. Les Miles ok, but what about the clock management in games almost blowing leads on stupid plays. Brady H. not as head coach, maybe defense or Ron English at defense. Hell, Im a huge Michigan fan since I was 7 and get pissed cause Im supposed to like Texas, cause I live here. I've been to the Big House twice, seen them here another 2 times and spent money that you wouldn't belive on tickets, shirts, hats, etc... I bleed maize and blue. I know that Dave B. will do us right, just who else is left. I like to see Mike Leah,but I threw that out, cause his defense at tech was not that great either. Whatever happens I'm still a Wolverine till I die. Go Blue!!!!

Mikoyan said...

TEchnically the smoke is still black because they haven't selected a new coach yet.