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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Pinch Me: Three Awesome Bowls on Tap Today!

When folks bitch and complain about all the "meaningless bowl games," I simply point to days like today: BYU vs. UTEP in the New Mexico Bowl, Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State in the uDrove Humanitarian Bowl and Ohio vs. Troy in the R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl. 

Somebody pinch me!

Sure, the cynical may mock.  Let them.  The rest of us will simply bask in the college football equivalent of a three-way.  Savoring a triple play of bowl games so unnecessary I never heard of the sponsors two of the bowls were able to scrounge up so steeped in tradition they didn't need to sell out to some big corporation and sully their names, instead letting a pair of the small companies that make this country great piggyback on their rich bowl heritage.

They didn't need to do that.  But they did.  For you.  For me.  For America.  I would have just gone with something like the New Mexico Bowl presented by Tradition, Bitch.  Or the This is Why They Play the Fucking Game Humanitarian Bowl.  Or the Hasn't New Orleans Suffered Enough Granddaddy of Them All on December 18th New Orleans Bowl.

Yeah, I know: I'm preaching to the choir.

Who among you reading this post hasn't been salivating over the prospect of watching the Troy...IThinkThey'reTheTrojans take on the Ohio Bobcat mascot?  Damn!  We're talking about the second place team in the MAC's East Division going at it against the team that was a mere 14 points shy of upsetting Louisiana-Monroe on the road in October.

Pinch me again!  Like an Aggie this time!

That's why I say screw Christmas shopping when you can glue your ass in front of a TV bitching about the field in Boise like we all do even though we've seen it now 1000 times to see how the Northern Illinois...whatstheirfuckingnamesagain respond after their coach ditched them for the big time Minnesota.  That's right - clear me some Real Housewives off the DVR, daddy's gonna be re-watching this one a lot over the holidays.

Yes, sir.  Just writing about it fires me up.  I haven't been this excited in front of my computer since I first discovered PornHub.com.

And don't even get me started on the BYU vs. UTEP in the Initials Bowl New Mexico Bowl, which judging by the name takes place in, I'm guessing, New Mexico since I've never seen this week-before-the-actual-holiday classic in years past - all previous 4 years of its tradition-laden past.

I mean, just look how excited the New Mexico Bowl Executive Director who hasn't faked it like this since he told his wife she didn't look fat in those jeans is talking about this showdown on their website.  Followed by Mike Price wishing he'd never gone to that titty bar talking about how excited he is, too.  Folks, it's just excitement central at the New Mexico Bowl.   In fact, race ya to the New Mexico Bowl Store to stock up on the souvenirs before they're all sold out. Dibs on the fleece!

So let others make fun of the numerous bowl games.  Not I.  No, sir.  I will simply feast upon the bounty bestowed on me by the loving, merciful and generous college football gods.

uDrove...rather than shell out good money to fly to this thing


A2saint said...

This is the funniest thing I've read here since the 2nd coming of Yost- I swear tears were rolling down my cheeks! I was going to spend the day working on my daughters passat but no, now I'm watchin' me some bowl games!!!

Andy said...

We were one decent Purdue QB away from playing in one of these games.

Yost said...

Thanks, A2.

So true, Andy.

whetstonebuck said...

I thought I was alone in my dark thoughts.

phil said...

To hell with you sarcastic bastards.......I was on the edge of my seat the entire Minnesota-Duluth vs. Delta St. game. By the way, who won? I fell asleep.

Andy said...

Not sure about that game, but I do know that Delaware (with former Penn State QB Pat Delvin) is headed to the FCS Championship game.

It must be the helmets.

TitleIX said...

Football is football is football!
I am watching!

srudoff said...

Even the Humanitarian Bowl has a better logo than the big ten :(

beast in 'bama said...

Had you not been watching - like me - you might have missed this.

Yost said...

Holy crap, BiB! That was real?!