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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Your Life vs. College Life

This marks the return of an old MZone favorite.


Not only are you about to be laid off, but you actually have to train the guys who will be replacing you at the call center in India.  And you have to do it with a smile on your face or there goes that letter of recommendation you need as well as your severance package.  Shit.

At 5 o'clock, you're almost to the elevator when your boss stops you to remind you about the party in the break room.  Apparently the dude you're training who's taking your job halfway across the world is turning 32 today.  And your boss, Phil, thought it would be nice to throw him a little birthday party to show him there were no hard feelings "during this difficult time."

After being stuck in a conversation pretending to give a shit about the sport of cricket ("You're right, it really is just like baseball") for almost a half an hour, the cake arrives.  Finally.  Now maybe you can leave-- Hey, what's that music?  Why is Janet from human resources putting her arms in the air like that?  Holy crap - do they really expect you to do the chicken dance?


You were just supposed to all meet at Becky's apartment for a little pre-partying before hitting that bar on the other side of campus to celebrate her 21st birthday.  But by the time you got there, Becky and her friends were already wasted.

Then  Doug - good ol' Doug - "jokingly" suggested you should all play truth or dare while you finish the beer before heading out. "Somehow," within 10 minutes, the dares got to the point that "somehow" clothing was flying and the girls were all in the kitchen making out.

You never make it to that bar. 

The next morning as you're walking home, you're pretty sure the girl you hooked up with the night before was named Amy.  Or was that the name of her friend you were making out with right before she pulled you away?  Shit.  Oh well, if she friends you on Facebook like she said she would, you'll figure it out later.


Mikoyan said...

At the last party I was told that I could have cake....

Now Marvin, pass the cake along....

I'm gonna burn the building down...

phil said...

I'll take what's cooking on burner #3

616goblue said...


You are blessed. I am thankful that you are unselfish with your blessings and are back on the interwebs.

Give. Live. Love.

That is your Holy Trinity with the feature "Your Life vs College Life."

Thank you.

surrounded in columbus said...

sadly, my daughter is a freshman in college this year.

i don't enjoy this segment nearly as much as i used to...


Yost said...

LOL, SiC!!!! Actual sound.

surrounded in columbus said...

i've become a fan of "Raising Hope", which is red neck funny, in the genre of "My Name is Earl" and "Rosanne".

last night's episode featured a storyline where the dad is entertaining a potential client at a strip joint, and when the girl walks in, it's the client's daughter (dad doesn't get the job BTW).

my personal version of that would be to drop in on this site, read the "Your Life vs College Life", and realize my daughter is in one of the pics.

i try not to think about it. drinking helps.

whetstonebuck said...