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Thursday, November 04, 2010

Misery Loves Company: Texas

While the Wolverine faithful are (once again) witnessing their season bursting into flames, the fans of several other college football teams didn't see it coming in 2010.  Below - in an effort to make Michigan fans feel better about what's transpiring in A2 - is the first in an occasional series called Misery Loves Company looking at some other programs having seasons that are leaving team message boards buzzing and fans screaming, "WTF?!"

MZONE MISERY LOVES COMPANY SCHOOL: TEXAS

In a tight race, Texas edges out Florida thus far as the biggest shocker of the 2010 college football season.

LAST YEAR:

After going a pefect 12-0 in the  2009 regular season, the Longhorns started 2010 playing for the National Title against Alabama.  However, in a cruel twist of fate, Colt McCoy - a 4-year starter for UT and the winninest QB in college football history - got hurt early and was replaced by true freshman, Garrett Gilbert.

While (unsurprisingly) shaky early, Gibert rallied his team late in the game, pulling Texas to within 3 points with just over six minutes left before the Horns eventually fell 37-21.

EXPECTATIONS HEADING INTO 2010:

Losing a QB like McCoy was going to be a blow to any program.  But the Horns had only had more than 3 losses in a season once in coach Mack Brown's first 12 years at the helm and that came way back in his second season in '99 when his squad went 9-5, 6-2 in the South and still won the division.

With a track record like that, at a "rebuild not reload" school, and with a highly-touted 5* son of an NFL QB at QB - whom fans hoped got any jitters out on the biggest stage in the game last January - Texas was ranked #4 and #5 in the preseason polls.


WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED:

After starting the year 3-0, Texas got crushed 34-12 (?!) at home to whatever the hell that thing is Rick Neuheisal is building at UCLA.  A 28-20 loss to Oklahoma was followed by a surprising 20-13 victory at 5th ranked and future Big 10 school, Nebraska.  The ship appeared to be righted.

Not so fast, my friend.

Texas somehow next went out and lost 28-21 - at home (?!) - to an Iowa State team (yes, we said Iowa State, not Iowa) that had been sodomized by the Sooners 52-0 the week before and was pantsed 68-27 by Utah the week before that.

Worse became worser for Longhorn fans when Baylor - the school nobody wanted which was probably going to end up in something like the Sun Belt Conference had the Big 12 imploded after Nebraska and Colorado left - beat Texas 30-22 seven days after the Iowa State debacle.  Oh, and that was in Austin, too! (?!?!).

Texas now stands at 4-4, 2-3 in the South, with a road game at K-State under the lights Saturday followed by Big 12 games against 19th ranked Okie State and the traditional season ending game vs. the Texas A&M Nose Pickers Aggies still to come.  As hard as it is to believe, the only sure win left on the Longhorn schedule is a late November date with Florida Atlantic (!??!?!?!).


WHAT THE HELL ARE TEXAS FANS SAYING:

As can be expected, they're pissed.  Message boards at Burnt Orange Nation, HornFans.com and other big Texas sites are filled with UT fans facing off against their own, often split between those urging patience and ridiculing the "haters," while the more frustrated folks post the sort of "Fire somebody!" threads now commonly found on Michigan message boards.  Much of the "Fire somebody!" anger appears to be directed at OC Greg Davis as illustrated by this Xtranormal video.

MISERY INDEX:

On a Misery Index of 1 to 5 with 1 being "Oh, come on, you're Michigan State - I know you lost to Iowa but did you really think you were going to play for National Title this year?  Seriously?" to 5 being "If Michigan really is the winningest program in college football, how come they now sweat out wins against UMass and make Penn State walk-on QBs into ESPN highlight clips?"

TEXAS MISERY: 3.5

It ain't Michigan bad yet.  But the lofty expectations for the season coupled with inexplicable losses to teams Texas traditionally pulverizes has Horn fans feeling like their balls are being squeezed by one of those Aggie Nad Grabbers.  Yet if they end up with a losing record this year, it's gonna be a long off-season with lotso pressure on 2011.

The Texas Longhorn 2010 Season in a Nutshell

3 comments:

J said...

I have to be honest...

As a fan of Auburn and ten of the other eleven members of the SEC, and a resident of Houston, TX, this has been the greatest football season of my life. To wit...

Auburn is "exceeding expectations" (hat tip of humility to the Karma Gods) with an absolute stud at QB/RB/WR/any-other-position-he-cares-to-play and a surrounding cast of teammates that enable him to make it look that easy and a beast on defense that eats opposing QBs for lunch, with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

The arrogant T-sippers got to watch their Longhorns go down in flames to BAYLOR... yep, BAYLOR... and to OK and to IOWA STATE... If the Longhorns lose to the Aggies this year - and it could happen! - someone better ramp up the state mental health services hotline. Not ONE t-sip has strolled into my office this season and tried to start some innane argument about how the Big XII is superior to the SEC in football. (They never win the argument, but damn, they are persistant. And annoying.)

The Dallas Cowboys have reached a degree of suckitude heretofore unknown outside of Cleveland. That makes me deliriously happy in ways that are probably still illegal in some Mississippi counties.

And bammer... what can I say. The inbred nation, home of the branchless family tree, is imploding. Their one loss to a suspect South Carolina team that lost to Auburn has created such mental consternation that their fourth grade educations can barely allow them to form words. It is not enough for the bammer nation to have only one loss coming off an Egg season, with a possibile chance at a second egg if things flop their way. OH NO. They cannot be happy with bammer's season unless Auburn is simultaneously being ground into the dust. And they are openly faulting Saban for Auburn's sucess. Note to bammers - LSWhoers booed Saban after a few of their losses the year after LSU won the Egg. And Lord Saybinz does not tolerate dissention from the dirty masses. And his contract has no buyout. And the Cowboys will be looking come December... just sayin'... you stupid, inbred motherfuckers...

**CONTENTED SIGH**

**SMILE**

I love football season.

War Eagle! Go Blue!

John said...

As a long time Texas fan this is familiar territory. It reminds me of the good old days of 1984-1997 and is...rather comforting to remember our team can still stink and there is nothing magical about putting on the Burnt Orange. Even our opponents seem to forget that and seem to think any idiot could win 10 games a year at a school like Michigan or Texas. But, as recent evidence indicates, it is not so easy wherever you are. It is not like some schools get to play 12 or 13 guys.

Um hey Auburn fan...Texas used to lose to Baylor fairly regularly it is no big deal. We will be back. Auburn has had bad seasons as well. I will be rooting for you guys to win it all. War Eagle and all that.

Watashi said...

Not to worry Auburn fan, we'll be back. Just for grins perhaps we'll reach down, again, and pull another one of your coordinators to Austin.