|Mark Dantonio reveals the size of his sack|
After repeatedly declining during his post-game press conference to discuss exactly how big his nut sack is, Michigan State head coach Dantonio finally spread his hands over a foot apart and said, "This fucking big!"
With his squad down 31-28 in the first overtime and facing a 4th and 14, Dantonio had his team run a fake field goal. The holy-fucking-shit!-I-can't-believe-he-fucking-did-that!-He-must-have-a-huge-fucking-sack! play resulted in a 29 yard touchdown pass and a thrilling 34-31 Spartan victory.
The assembled members of the sports media had been clamoring from the onset of the press conference to know the size of Dantonio's lower package. But the coach modestly kept refusing to answer the question. Finally, after the eighth time he was asked, Dantonio threw his arms open and revealed the size of his stones.
Even jaded members of the press corp burst into applause at the Spartan head honcho's modesty. Most said his sack had to be at least another foot larger because of his nuts-scraping-on-the-fucking-floor-dragging-across-the-shag-carpeting-game-winning call that left MSU fans delirious and the Irish faithful heartbroken.
Dantonio said the name of the play was "Little Giants," after the movie with the same moniker. Celebrating Spartan fans said the name of the man who called it was now "Big Sack" after their coach who obviously has a ginormously huge sack.
BREAKING NEWS: We have just learned that Coach Dantonio suffered a mild heart attack after last night's game. According to reports, he's resting after a stent was inserted and is expected to make a full recovery. We here at the MZone wish Mr. Dantonio Godspeed. Be well, coach.