But as news of the impending expansion broke, many fans of the traditional Jewish calendar were outraged to learn that the Jewish High Holidays, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, were being placed in separate divisions. According to sources close to Temple Beth El B'nai, Yom Kippur will most likely be moved from its traditional early fall date to early-summer.
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Shalom, Presidents' Day! |
According to MZone wire reports, the new divisions will be as follows: the Abraham Division will consist of Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot, Chanukkah, Purim, Lag B'Omer and Tisha B'Av while the Moses Division will include Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah, Tu B'Shevat, Passover, Shavu'ot and Presidents' Day. The championship game will rotate between West Bloomfield, Michigan and South Florida.
There had been some speculation that Good Friday might bolt the Christian religion for the new Jewish super-league but in the end it decided to stay put and continue its longstanding weekend association with Easter Sunday. Sources tell the MZone that the 4th of July was also approached but, in the end, the summer holiday powerhouse decided to remain secular.
Some religious scholars questioned whether or not the addition of the relatively minor Presidents' Day was a good move. But the financial lure of a championship game and the added exposure to a faith that makes up just 1.78% of the population in the United States proved to be too much to pass up for one of the oldest religions in the world.
Many now fear the Jewish realignment could lead to other faiths making a run on the remaining independent secular holidays in order not to get left behind, leading to just a handful of super religions. However, at press time, none of the other major religions in the United States had announced any changes, although the Christians said they were studying the moves by the Jewish faith.
18 comments:
Pure genius.
Tu B'shvat is the same as Arbor Day. I'm not criticizing; in fact, I am complimenting on what is (I hope the intentional creation of) the perfect analogy. Why bring in a school from Nebraska when we already have one from Iowa?
I wish I could claim credit, Jeremy, for intentional. But it was a Gentile mistake on my part. Hence the "correction."
And back at you, Andy, you Photoshop wizard!
goy
You...are...definitely...going...to...well,...you...know.
-Abaddon
Whets -
Thanks for adding your sig to your post, that explains a lot.
And yes, we'll be seeing you in "that firey city down below" in about 10 weeks. And, win or lose, thank GOD we don't have to stay there permanently!
Ha first you go from saying that Jesus has his own Twitter account, to saying that the Jewish religion is splitting into divisions! On top of that you beat Notre Dame at home!
Whets is right.
At least you stopped ND on that last drive and prevented all of the Crist has Risen headlines that would have popped up all around the blogosphere.
wv: replatio - guess that's when you find another girl to give you some you know what.
We know why whets likes Arizona. At least it's a dry heat.
wv = boozoil / used to make tequila frys
At least you stopped ND on that last drive and prevented all of the Crist has Risen headlines that would have popped up all around the blogosphere.
LOL!!!
Yost, good split. A mohel couldn't have done it any better.
Phil,
Here's a tip: You're oh, so close. Be careful.
____________
"boozoil." Ahahahahahaha.
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Bob,
It's not the heat. It's the humidity.
_____________
justthinking,
Dude, your compass is broken. It's 180 deg. off.
_____________
sru,
"Crist has risen!" Classic.
whet,
you're a few matzo balls short of a Seder
(or as we say south of the border: a few tacos short of a fiesta platter)
"(or as we say south of the border: a few tacos short of a fiesta platter)"
Not to be confused with "a few habaneros short of 'Devil's Spit' salsa."
Brilliant.
Just emailed a humorous story to the Spawn email.
Run with it.
Okay, part II is up...
http://actionfigurefollies.blogspot.com/2010/09/rescue-of-m-shirt-part-ii.html
And Part III
http://actionfigurefollies.blogspot.com/2010/09/rescue-of-m-shirt-part-iii.html
I wish I'd written this!
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