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Friday, September 10, 2010

High Unemployment + YouTube + College Football Fan = This Guy

So you want to be an Internet sensation, eh? Get thousands of followers and live off the ad revenue? Well, the video below is how NOT to do it.

After stumbling across this clip, it gave me an idea for a new feature here at the MZone in which we rate YouTube fan videos. Yes, you see the potential here, too, don't you?

Without further adieu, let's check out YouTube user AllAboutTheU83's online opus posted today titled "#12 Miami hurricanes vs. #2 Ohio state buckeyes." Roll the clip...



First off, focus -- Focus. The. Fucking. Camera.

Seriously, dude. It's 2010. Yet this looks like a dream sequence from a silent film. For cryin' out loud, are you in the Witness Protection Program and trying to hide your identity? You look like a head, a hat, two eyes and what I think might be the hint of a wispy little 'stache under what could be a nose. But at this point, it's all guesswork.

Second, 10 minutes? Really? Nobody has ever listened to you for 10 minutes in your entire life. Ever. Your mom wouldn't listen to you ramble on for 10 minutes about how much you used to love Thanksgiving dinners at 'Nana's house. So no random college football fan is going to listen to you that long either. Hell, I barely made the two minute mark and now wish I'd have done something more pleasant, like jamming a fork up my anus.

Third -- and this may have something to do with trying to remain anonymous as already mentioned above -- but how 'bout a little creativity for your online "set." Right now it's so bland, it looks like you're making a hostage video and you don't want the FBI to be able to ID your location. So hang a 'Cane banner on that colorful brown wall. Maybe throw up some stickers on the ol' aluminum shades there in the background. Something to hide the fact that you're shooting in the empty kitchen-slash-dining room of your one bedroom apartment.

Yeah, I know, any set decoration is an added expense and you already blew your wad last week on that bitchin' 'Canes hat at the Lids kiosk in the mall. But give all of us who are tuning in to your brilliant college football insight something else to look at besides your handsome self for 10... fucking... minutes... here.

MZone YouTube Fan Video Review:

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being "Watch out, Herbstreit!" and 1 being "Lee Corso"... 2

P.S. I noticed when I found this online gem lost in the YouTube sea that you only had two views, which I assume was you putting it up and then checking back 15 minutes later to see if the 32 people you annoyed with the mass email actually clicked the link you sent them (answer: no). But now that you've been spotlighted in the fame vortex that is the MZone, let the hits roll in, baby! And I'm going get to work checking out the other 18 videos you have posted on YouTube. Hey, it's late and it'll allow me to save some of the Ambien for when I really need it.

5 comments:

616goblue said...

Yost,

What on God's Green Earth are you thinking by posting this garbage!?!?!?

Using a cheese grater on my scrotum would be more pleasant than watching this video.

Please bring back "beer bong Fridays" as those videos are a) shorter b) oftentimes co-eds are featured and c) the one filmed in Madison, WI with the quote "I don't do foam, bitch" is classic.

phil said...

I found him mysteriously more entertaining than Dr. Lou although I only watched 30 seconds of the video which is about as much as I watch of Dr. Lou.

Bigasshammm said...

Lee Corso

Andy said...

I love it how guys that make these videos pretend like they are being coy - but really they don't know what to say next.

It's like he is being forced to sit in front of this shitty webcam and talk BUT he really does not want to do it.

Lee Corso is Walter Cronkite Next to this asshat.

Mikoyan said...

Ouch ouch ouch ouch.....

Wait...He can't be from Miami...He has a buckstache.....

I could only make it to about 2 minutes and at that point I was hoping the Al Queda dudes behind me would saw my head off....Well there weren't any Al Queda dudes nor did my head get sawed off. But gah.....