Then, Justin Boren left Michigan for the Buckeyes.
Now, just when it seemed things couldn't get worse during a tumultuous off season in Ann Arbor, The Rock is packing up and heading to Michigan State."The family values have just gone in the shitter since Rich Rodriguez arrived," said The Rock when reached for comment by the MZone. "He's always yelling, using language like 'Paint the motherfucker!' And that Barwis guy wants people to paint me harder. I didn't sign up for that."
The Rock (no relation to the actor) said he just feels more comfortable next to the MSU "Sparty" statue where he will now be placed. "They do it right up there. They protect Sparty from getting painted before the U-M games. I was taken for granted in A2. Getting painted, two, three times a week."
"Plus, the Sparty statue is as close to a Michigan icon as you can find. They're very similar. Except for the fact that he's a big semi-naked bronze guy and I'm a stone that started out the size of a pebble before 165,872 coats of this goddamn paint over the years."
In response to a story in the MSU student newspaper, WE KAN SPELL AND SHIT, former Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr angrily denied reports that he helped The Rock get his release from Michigan or said there were "good campus icons" in East Lansing.
When reached by the MZone, other Michigan icons The Cube and The Belltower denied they too were thinking of transferring. Even still, Detroit Free Press columnist Drew Sharp claimed The Rock's departure is yet another sign of Michigan's declining status.
Posts
36 comments:
The Rock won't be required to sit out a year, however, since it will take a full year for it to GET to CowTown
hahaha. great post, Yost.
It was just a matter of time... I knew it was coming when I was watching the Encore Action movie channel this weekend and they were showing the film "The Rock"... it was an omen.
"Carla was the prom queen..."
no great loss. while the Rock was pretty typical of most michigan players over the last few years, it didn't figure to fit into the new regime.
the Rock's time in the 40 was pretty subpar. it didn't do well in the agility and flexibility training. it didn't fit into its role in the new offense. it didn't like chocolate milk. also had a bad attitude.
truth is that the Rock wasn't going to play much anyway.
the rocks that stay will be champions.
ah the tragedy....
what could have made Rock roll like Judas??
was it really worth a few spores of moss to lie in the shadow of bronzed-ball-less Sparty???
You guys are shameless. I can't believe you're trashing your own rock for leaving when RR as put ZERO rocks in the NFL during his time at WVU.
The Rock was marginal at best, and would consistently get beat by anyone with two feet. His weight was always an issue.
His complaints of "errosion" are totally unfounded, though.
drulz actually said something funny.
maybe there's hope for him afterall...
and for the record,
R2 will have access to an entirely different level of rock now that he's at michigan. if you compare his level of rocks to don nehlen's rocks in the nfl during his first 7 years as coach, they're nearly identical.
"R2 will have access to an entirely different level of rock now that he's at michigan."
Bull Crap! That myth has been exposed. The talent drain from Ohio to Michigan is down to a drip or to stay true to the analogy: pea gravel size. Michigan's talent pool is now equivalent to say...Indiana?
There's not enough chocolate milk in Wisconsin to compensate for UM's tepid talent pool.
The rocks that stay will be highway base for the Big 10 truck that runs over them.
I think you guys are kidding yourselves if you think RR is going to be able to recruit top rated rocks. At least Carr proved he could get you to the NFL even if you test poorly on the Wonderlic and spend all your time being stoned.
I heard Michigan was willing to trade the rock for State's countdown clock.
so long as the clock is made of rock:
http://69.89.21.76/~tictocro/HTML/clocks.htm
Oye......the double entendres are killing me in this thread! (and you all crack me up!)
wait... I thought we were talking about Epke Udoh leaving??
the topic is "rocks" leaving, not "players who shot bricks" leaving. subtle difference.
SiC,
Thanks for the clarification... I normally get my rocks and bricks messed up.
Can we make a shift in the conversation about whether or not Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson would quit the new UM S&C program?
Plus, a rolling stone gathers no moss.
I think he should consider a move to Penn State next year just to keep it fresh.
This opens up a spot on Prof hagen's independent study schedule. msu is getting one hell of a kiniesiology student though
sru...
Yeah... but the transfer of The Rock is going to count against our academic progression...
I think this is good sign for WV. If RR was adept at recruiting rocks out of WV their whole economy might collapse.
I think this is good sign for WV. If RR was adept at recruiting rocks out of WV their whole economy might collapse.
Drew Sharp once again missed the real story. The administration of Michigan State University will implement a program in which students will have to break rocks in the hot sun. The MSU President relates that he is just getting the students ready for life after graduation. Most estimates report 100% of MSU grads eventually end up in prison, so they might as well learn this valuable skill while in school. Breaking rocks seems to be THE skill most students could relate to. Since the students have destroyed most rocks in central Michigan, they had to look to their neighbor to the south in A2 for help in locating rocks for their program. Once again, the generosity of University of Michigan comes through.
Pretty funny, but I'm ready for "Know Your Foe- Utah" and the inevitable polygamist comments.
He didn't want to compete with Newsome Beaver and Feagin. Not a duel threat QB. Maybe tressel gave him a benz or bmw.
i don't know- i sorta like the concept of a "dual treat" QB.
less menacing and more positive than "dual threat".
dude- you might be on to something w/ that, typo or not.
Phil,
Did you used to write for Pravda?
No mikoyan, but I do drink vodka...........nonstop.
love you guys!
re: the academic program.
with The Rock's departure, does that mean that the undergraduate geology course will be dropped?
ie--no more "rocks for jocks"?????
oh, and you can COMPLETELY forget about Slippery Rock scores.
there will be NO mention of Rocks who aren't here......
we only talk about rocks who rock for michigan???
phil...
is that vodka straight up
OR.....
wait for it.....
ON THE ROCKS!!???
quick, someone take her keyboard away!
Nobody made an obvious joke about The Rock raising the average IQ score of the MSU student body--and I applaud your restraint...
The Rock should really explore a tenure at Northwestern--think of the babes!
those who transfer will be champions
Uhh whets I left some talent in the john at the hall of fame for you. Next time I'm through there I'll put a Buckeye helmet on it.
Tom,
No need to polish a turd.
Just another reminder that Michigan talent originates from deep in the bowels.
"Those that remain will be flushed."
Coronas for all!
Phil,
I ask about Pravda because your propaganda skills are amazing. Only Pravda could take a negative story and somehow put a positive spin on it.
Today was the beginning of an experiment in Chernobyl. It was discovered that we could cut energy usage considerably if we made the city glow.
Post a Comment