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Thursday, March 06, 2008

How to handle a streaker

If you've ever attempted to watch the sport, you'll understand why this is the most exciting thing to happen in a cricket match in the last 50 years...


surrounded in columbus said...

if only Ernest Shazor had tackled that well during the '04 season.


Sgt. Wolverine said...

A few years ago I took a bus tour of England and Scotland. I don't remember how the subject came up, but one day, our tour guide told us that she could spend thirty minutes trying to explain cricket to us, and at the end of those thirty minutes we we understand the sport less than we did before she started.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

Uh ... we WOULD understand the sport less. Me talk pretty.

Joshua said...


So what you're saying is it's kinda like when women try to explain women? Got it.

Dezzi said...

watching the USFL on ESPN Classic right now... so many buckstaches... however, I'm not sure if all these guys are criminals.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

Yeah, joshua, I think that's pretty accurate. Although I don't think any attempted explanations of women are ever as short as thirty minutes.

zen wizard said...

The only thing I know about cricket is that British people turn the TV in the bar to it when you are trying to have a nice, relaxing vacation in Jamaica.

I have tried to get into it, but I think it requires a certain gene just to be interested.

Having said that, when I first viewed the footage, I thought a guy running naked across the field was part of the game or something.

I mean, if a clown pulled an elephant on a huge unicycle across the field while juggling, I would probably think it was part of the game.

Chris in NC said...

He should have used the bat. Idiot streakers.

beast in 'bama said...

From "In a Sunburned Country" by Bill Bryson (a book I highly recommend):

"After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind) I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry. It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. I don't wish to denigrate a sport that is enjoyed by millions, some of them awake and facing the right way, but it is an odd game. It is the only sport that incorporates meal breaks. It is the only sport that shares its name with an insect. It is the only sport in which spectators burn as many calories as players -- more if they are moderately restless. It is the only competitive activity of any type, other than perhaps baking, in which you can dress in white from head to toe and be as clean at the end of the day as you were at the beginning.

Imagine a form of baseball in which the pitcher, after each delivery, collects the ball from the catcher and walks slowly with it to center field; and that there, after a minute's pause to collect himself, he turns and runs full tilt toward the pitcher's mound before hurling the ball at the ankles of a man who stands before him wearing a riding hat, heavy gloves of the sort used to to handle radio-active isotopes, and a mattress strapped to each leg. Imagine moreover that if this batsman fails to hit the ball in a way that heartens him sufficiently to try to waddle forty feet with mattress's strapped to his legs, he is under no formal compunction to run; he may stand there all day, and, as a rule, does. If by some miracle he is coaxed into making a misstroke that leads to his being put out, all the fielders throw up their arms in triumph and have a hug. Then tea is called and every one retires happily to a distant pavilion to fortify for the next siege. Now imagine all this going on for so long that by the time the match concludes autumn has crept in and all your library books are overdue. There you have cricket.

The mystery of cricket is not that Australians play it well, but that they play it at all. It has always seemed to me a game much too restrained for the rough-and-tumble Australian temperament. Australians much prefer games in which brawny men in scanty clothing bloody each other's noses. I am quite certain that if the rest of the world vanished over night and the development of cricket was left in Australian hands, within a generation the players would be wearing shorts and using the bats to hit each other. And the thing is, it would be a much better game for it."

Joshua said...


Holy shit man, did you just transcribe that passage? I type like an elephant trying to fold an origami rose so that would've taken me forever.

As for Bryson, the man is AWESOME. Have you read "A Walk in the Woods? Love that book. It's absolutely hilarious.

Joshua said...

Here's an artist's rendering of what the Big house is supposed to look like next fall.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

My favorite part of the stadium article is this line:

"And thanks to the architects at HNTB and the remarkable capabilities of computers, the Athletic Department is able to offer a preview of how Michigan Stadium will look when September rolls around."

It makes it sound like computers are amazing! And new! They're remarkable! They let us make pretty pictures! Isn't it awe-inspiring!

Bigasshammm said...

The Mzone has come a long way in the past couple months. Once it was filled with beer bongs and pictures of hot co-eds. Now... naked male ass.

No streaking video or any video of a fan running onto the field is better then when the fan took the ball from Brett Favre. That was a classic moment for drunken fans everywhere. Very sad at his retirement but also very proud in a way not unlike pride over you're child achieving something great. The man was a great athlete and an even better role model and citizen of the game. I can't wait for his induction so I can be onhand to honor him.

beast in 'bama said...


Notes from a Small Island
A Walk in the Woods
I'm a Stranger Here Myself
In a Sunburned Country
A Short History of Nearly Everything
The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid

I have read (and enjoyed) them all by Bryson - but "Sunburned Country" is my favorite.

Out of Conference said...

BiB - hats off to you good sir for the passages.

I feel inclined to share a bit of wisdom in the only way I know how - from a plaque my Dad's employees gave him once that hung is his office-

"As you go through life there are two rules you should never bend.
Never whittle towards yourself,
or pee against the wind."

Nitric Oxide said...

C'mon guys....cricket HAS way more action than baseball....it just takes freakin days for one game to get done....