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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Just an honor being nominated? Fuck that

Yes, it's that time again: CFB Awards Season. No, not for the players, for the blogs and bloggers.

Last year, the MZone was nominated for several awards. But like that one film each year that is up for the Oscar in a bunch of categories, only to get bitch slapped and its nominees have to wear that fake "we're just happy to be nominated" smile when they announce somebody else won, we got shut out.

And it was heartbreaking, folks. Simply heartbreaking. When I had to tell Benny, a true Photoshop artiste, that he didn't win that category, or that his Know Your Foe wasn't even nominated, well let's just say I haven't seen him cry like a little bitch like that since his mom started charging him rent for living in the basement when he turned 30. But just like Benny's mom and her selfish, money grubbing need for 40 bucks each month, money Benny could be putting toward Guitar Hero II, sometimes life is simply unfair.

So we put on a brave face when College Football Blogger Awards were announced last year. And Benny and I did that fake clap that all the losers do when Orson at EDSBS pulled a fucking TITANIC and swept everything. "Oh, that's great. Congrats. No, really, you deserved it." Bastard.

But that shit's gonna stop this year or we will burn the motherfucker down (or at least shred something in honor of our new coach).

And if we win, in protest of last year's voting which constituted the most egregious balloting irregularities since the 2000 Florida presidential election, we might not even show up at the big awards banquet sponsored by Rocky Top Talk to pick up our statues. Fuck it. We're gonna go all Marlon Brando and send some Native American chick to instead make a politically correct speech about some non-related issue. That's just how we roll.

For all the info on the awards, check out this post on EDSBS.

And to nominate the MZone for an official nominating ballot, click here.


Benny Friedman said...

It was 50 bucks a month. And I was 32. Thanks, Mom.

whetstonebuck said...

I thought for sure Benny was the yellow-shirted Sprint guy in those Alltel commercials.

MaizenBrew said...

Cry me a fucking river, I didn't even get nominated last year. I will however be happy to applaud you when you when you win this year, then shiv you on your way to your 1982 Chevelle after the awards show so I can steal your trophy...

In all seriousness, good luck guys. MZone's always one of my daily stops.

beast in 'bama said...

"But that shit's gonna stop this year or we will burn the motherfucker down (or at least shred something in honor of our new coach)."

Don't forget George C. Scott, Yost. He was the first to refuse to accept the Oscar. And if you don't win? Mr. Scott portrayed two generals who could help you out:

Gen. Buck Turgidson (Dr. Strangelove)
"Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed, but I do say no more then ten to twenty million killed, tops. Depending on the breaks."

Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.
"We're gonna keep fighting. Is that CLEAR? We're gonna attack all night, we're gonna attack the next morning. If we are not VICTORIOUS, let no man come back alive!"

DaBraylon17 said...

everyone. GO TO MGOBLOG AND READ THE COMMENTS TOWARDS THE BOTTOM. pryor will be committing to OSU and there is some serious buzz going on that he has a new corvette and his mother has stated that he will be living in a condo with some other recruits.

what freshman live in condos at college? freshman live in dorms.

tresseLL is a fuckin sleaze ball, but will never get caught. he just knows how to cover his tracks.

here is some information I have heard from an insider:

"Pryor is now a buckeye and very deviously so, I have heard. One of my colleagues, a UM alumnus, knows that a slimy booster, I forget his name (exactly like the guy that worked with Webber, Ed Martin) met with 4 OSU coaches and had dinner THE NIGHT BEFORE PRYOR WENT TO AA. Pryor is also now driving around in a brand new Corvette. His mom has said that he already has some condo booked in Columbus to live with a couple other OSU recruits. Paul also said that none of it will get back to Tressel and that he 'is the worst kind of evil, because no one can believe he's evil.' Figures. We also lost another recruit, but he wasn't a big deal, just an H-Back that would have had to play linebacker and didn't want to, Christian Wilson. Pryor was bought my friend."

Feelin' Blue said...


It sounds like a rumor. If Pryor, a high schooler who is in the national spotlight, is driving around in a vette then the NCAA is on his ass already.

Feelin' Blue said...

Wait a second here. I just read that you read it on mgoblog??? Never believe a thing you read there.

My favorite comment was when someone said that TP reads mgoblog everyday. I found it really funny.

People should really stop overreacting. It makes us UM fans look insane...kind of like WVU fans, minus the cowtipping and knocking mailboxes over.

Feelin' Blue said...

Oh, and one more thing. Another "expert" reported this on rivals or scout.

"Pryor is just faking these visits. He already decided long ago that he was going to play for Nebraska, as new coach Bo Pelini wants to resurrect the option offense of the Osbourne era. It is believed that Pryor is just using the visits to play with fans, and create some publicity for himself while distracting the recruiting efforts of his rivals."

In other news, the govt was behind 9/11, Elvis is still alive, aliens control the White House, and Hillary is actually a satanist secretly working for the communists. Terrelle Pryor also happens to be working on her campaign. He told me so himself.

Jim said...

I don't buy that (the corvette report). Way too blatant.

If he goes, he goes. People make bad decisions every day. If there's booster interference here, I'm sure they've learned to be much more skilled and subtle by now...even at tsou.

Joshua said...

If it was one of Brian's posts I'd seriously freak out, but who knows who's posting in the comment section over there. For all we know it could be an 8 ft tall Green sasquatch named George.... Though that would make me curious as to why my imaginary friend is posting Buckeyue rhetoric.

And don't be silly Blue, Elvis isn't still alive- he willed control of the Whitehouse to the aliens when he died.

DaBraylon17 said...

feelin' blue,

i believe everything on mgoblog until stuff is proven to be false. his site is awesome and always has good information.

Feelin' Blue said...


I have little problem with what Brian posts. It's the stuff that the posters/trolls write that simply isn't credible.

Joshua said...

looks like Brian is taking an interest in the comments made and has posted about them. While that would tend to give them more cred, it simply verifies that the rumor is going around. That part about the change on Rivals is interesting though, and if tOSU coaches really did have dinner with the guy I'll never give Tressel's crew another lick of credit in my lifetime. Though it would suck to be paying for guys who can't beat the SEC. what- can't they afford the really good talent?

DaBraylon17 said...

a friend of mine had a good point. he said that OSU does not even need pryor, they just want him to to keep him away from michigan. makes sense to me.

Feelin' Blue said...

Everyone claims to know where Terrelle Pryor is going.


Just read the posts. The author of the article has OU #1 and MSU ranked but not Michigan.

Feelin' Blue said...

I know this is like my 10th post, but I found an interesting article from a few years ago. So this is why you all say that Tressel cheats:


Apparently Pope Urban, as an assistant coach at ND, almost recruited Clarett during his junior year, but then Bob Davie was fired. Clarett wanted to be recruited early out of high school (see a pattern here?) and threatened that he would go to Michigan if ND wouldn't enroll him early.

Michigan! Imagine Lloyd and Freddy Jackson having to deal with Maurice Clarett. If Clarett had gone to Michigan (he was probably bluffing with the Pope), he would either have become a man or have ended up transferring to a D-II program after a year, if not being put in prison first.

Joshua said...

Holy crap that's a good article. Not b/c it bashes the Sweatervest, but just b/c it's detailed and shows part of the tragedy that became Clarrett. That people let that happen is complete and total bullshit. He should have been sheltered and helped to become a man, instead he ended up a spoiled head-case, poor and in prison. Completely inexcusable.

Just wondering: If a tree gets paid to fall in a forest- and Tressell doesn't hear it- does it still get paid?

Katie said...

Ok, in order to bring this comment section BACK to the subject matter of NOMINATING said blog.......everyone be sure and fill out the ballot!! Yost and Benny work hard on this site!

They deserve to be recognized!!!


Joshua said...

Yes ma'am! My goodness, with you off studying for mid-terms and T9 off doing whatever it is T9 does we have to provide our own version of fun around here.

For the record, I think if Blogs were Scientology, Yost would as batshit insane as Tom Cruise, and nominations have been made.

And if you haven't seen the Jerry O'Connell Tom Cruise/Scientology parody you're missing out. Check it out here and watch the original creepy videos first if you haven't seen them. That dwarf turned one of the hottest women ever into one of the hottest robots ever- he should be soundly mocked all around.

See what I did there? I am a segway jedi! Oh, and Jerry O'Connell just jumped up a few more notches on famous dudes I'd like to hang out with, and not just b/c his bay's momma knows Marissa Miller- making fun of Scientology in Hollywood is just ballsy.

Mikoyan said...

I nominated for Big 10 and best overall...:)

The Big Picture said...

i voted the shit out of you guys last year. if you don't win this year, i'm setting fire to the internet.

zen wizard said...

At last, an awards "ceremony" that no "Professional Writers' Strike" will ever threaten!