Travis Henry is a Man-Whore

Former Tennessee Vol and current Denver Bronco RB Travis Henry has been ordered to pay $3,000/month in child support for an out of wedlock child he fathered three years ago.

Okay, not exactly Father of the Year material but what's the big deal? Well, that's not the first time for Henry. Or the second. Or the third. Or the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh or eighth. You see, Travis Henry has fathered nine children by nine different woman!

Yes, nine! NINE!

Sweet Mother of Pearl! Has this guy never heard of a condom?! Or pulling out?! Hell, even just a blowjob?!

Interestingly, Henry's nickname in college was "The Cheese." Rumor has it that now it's "Crappy Father."

Beer Bong Friday: Buckeye MILF Edition

In honor of the start of the season, for today's edition of Beer Bong Friday, we salute the hard drinking Cougar fans of our hated rivals to the south (and then east a little bit).

WANTED: Your weekend pictures

For anybody going to the game this weekend - be it at Michigan or any other college football venue across America - please email your pix. We'll put up the best ones next week.

Former OSU President Calls out Buckeye Fans

Buckeye fans are rioting drunks who like to flip over cars.

But don't take my word for it. Take it from former Ohio State President Karen Holbrook.

In a meeting with trustees of a Florida university, Holbrook reportedly said some who lived in Tosu's campus area had a "culture of rioting" and looked for any excuse to have "drunken orgies."

Holbrook apparently made the comments while interviewing for the top job at something called Florida Gulf Coast University.

"I went to Ohio State and had no idea there was a culture of rioting," Holbrook told the trustees. "Any good excuse gets some of the people on the street and they think it's fun to flip cars and have absolute drunken orgies."

[UPDATE: Today's Columbus Dispatch reports the the actual quote, which was provided to them by the Fort Myers, Fla., school, was:

"When you win a game, you riot. When you lose a game, you riot. When spring comes, you riot. African-American Heritage Festival weekend, you riot. They think it's fun to flip cars, to really have absolute drunken orgies. … I don't want to be at a place that has this kind of culture as a norm."

Although, in the Dispatch story, Holbrook says she might have exaggerated the "drunken orgies" part.

Even more telling than Holbrook's remarks in the Dispatch article were those of the former chairmen of the OSU Board of Trustees, Dan Slane, who claimed rowdy fan behavior was never unique to Ohio State saying, "Look at what happens in Europe. They literally kill people at soccer matches."

First off, this goes a long way toward explaining where the "it's not just us, it's everywhere" mentality originates that is often used as an excuse for what happens in C-bus: right at the top with the Board of Trustees. Second, boy, heck of a high standard Mr. Slane sets for fan behavior. I mean hey, as long as nobody gets killed, what are a couple fires and flipped cars? Hell, it can't be that bad, right?]

This is the same Karen Holbrook who, in the wake of 40+ fires, 38 some arrests and a flipped over car following last November's Michigan-OSU game, praised Buckeye fans in a press release, saying, "For the second consecutive Michigan game in Columbus, we have had safe celebrations. While we will continue to look for ways to make additional improvements, we have turned the corner on fan behavior." She also said, "our fans proved they are, indeed, 'The Best Fans in the Land."

I guess that's Best Damn Fans in the Land Who Like to Riot, Flip Over Cars and Have Drunken Orgies.

Now, naturally hearing such tales of decadent Buckeye behavior came as a complete and utter shock to me. As one who has constantly stood up for the class of Buckeye fans and their hospitality toward rival visitors in Columbus, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard such allegations from the former President of the university.

Put it this way, for me, hearing such news is right up there with the surprise I felt when George Michael of WHAM! fame revealed that he was gay. Now, as then, I thought, "It can't be true."

But, alas, it just might be.

Thus, it is truly a dark day when Columbus - the symbolic birthplace of good sportsmanship for the game I love - now appears not to be college football's shining city upon a hill whose beacon light guides the rest of us.

Sadly, it turns out that light might have been coming from the glow of a fan-started fire...next to a burning, flipped over car...right before the drunken orgies started.

I don't know if I'll ever get over this shock.




ED. NOTE: In an effort to cut down on spam in our comments section, allow me to offer a reply to the above for any Buckeye fans who might have just read the post and incorrectly assume I take joy in hearing such stunning news: 1-5, bitches! Fuck Michigan! We own your asses! It's the same in Ann Arbor, dicks! What about Jim Harbaugh you stupid pieces of shit?!

Hope that saved our Tosu friends a ton of hunt and peck typing time today.

(HT: KG)

Famous Jim Delaney Negotiations Throughout History

It's finally here: today marks the official launch of the Big Ten Network.

Sure, with the opening kick-off of the 2007 season just two days away, many fans still won't be able to watch their favorite teams play this weekend - games that used to often be free on the local hometown station or easy to get via ESPN's GAMEPLAN. But, as you probably already know, that is all the fault of the big, bad cable companies that don't want to be blackmailed into carrying an overpriced regional sports network on its basic packages are just being giant doody heads for no reason.

Luckily, conference commissioner Jim Delaney, who is using Big 10 fans as pawns has been showcasing his negotiating skill and acumen with the nation's cable companies, has come through for the fan again with the last minute addition of Insight Communications, a cable provider which services Columbus, Ohio and Evansville, Indiana.

Of course, to students of history, this should come as no surprise. As he's displayed thus far in the BTN vs. Big Bad Cable Battle, throughout history, Jim Delaney has been a negotiating powerhouse, always striking the right, fair deal at the right time.

Delaney's first brush with negotiating fame came in 1626 when, working on behalf of Dutchman Peter Minuit , he convinced Native American tribes who owned the island of Manhattan to sell it to Minuit for $24 in beads and trinkets.

When the Indian tribes initially asked for $30, claiming the Dutch were being cheap with their "second tier offer," Delaney famously said, "In colonial New York, when you're talking about the Dutch, you talk about them with respect. When you throw in the beads and the trinkets, that is not a second-tier offer."

More recently, Delaney pushed through the Munich Agreement with the French and British in 1938.

When England's Winston Churchill blasted the pact by saying, "We have suffered a total and unmitigated defeat...you will find that in a period of time which may be measured by years, but may be measured by months," Delaney fired back saying that if Churchill wanted to be remembered as a great leader, like Neville Chamberlain, he should "shut his pie hole" and added, "To the extent that those remarks were intended to denigrate England or France or, in particular the women's volleyball team at Liverpool, I think they ought to be rethought. I think if clarifications are necessary, that's fine. And really, if they were intended to denigrate, there ought to be an apology."

Then, as now, nobody understood what the fuck he was talking about by bringing up women's volleyball as an issue.

Most recently, in probably his greatest negotiating coup, Delaney convinced Clark Kent it was in his - and earth's - best interest to give up his incredible powers in SUPERMAN II so that he could marry Lois Lane.

"Hey, people act as if I told him to kneel before Zod. I didn't," said Delaney.


Thus, with such a negotiating machine on our side, don't be surprised if fully 23% of Big Ten fans will be able to get the BTN by the end of February.

Tailgate Tips

Got an email from a reader who is an Appalachian State fan making the trek to A2 for the game. He suggested we give a few tailgating tips for those making their first trip to see some football at the Big House.


Good idea.

Here are a couple of my thoughts. Please add yours in the comments section.

PARKING

I'm a big fan of the golf course right across the street from the stadium. The atmosphere is great, there are a nice mix of folks and it really gets you in the mood. Plus, you can't beat the walk to and from the game.

People tend to be very friendly, even towards opposing fans (although that doesn't rule out the random asshole, unfortunately).

PRE-GAME



Nothing like seeing the band march into the stadium. The only bad thing is, if you're parked at the golf course, they enter from the exact opposite side of The Big House, via Hoover then cut through the parking lot next to our Crisler Arena. However, it's a fun walk through that parking lot (where the bigger donors park) and seeing the band enter gets one very pumped up.

POST-GAME/ON CAMPUS

Ok, folks, this is where I need help as I've been out of school for a few years. But Touchdown Cafe, Rick's, Scorekeepers and...that place next to Charley's (what's the name again?) are fun stops as long as you're not that old creepy guy that should no longer be hanging out in college bars. If so, head more towards the downtown area.

In terms of a little sightseeing, you have to stroll through the center of campus and check out the Diag. And the basement of the student union on game days is sometimes fun afterwards. Lots of folks stopping by and there's a good store in there to get a few souvenirs.

Of course, for the money, the best place to pick up any M gear is Steve & Barry's on State Street, just past the entrance to the Diag.

FOOD

I'm a BIG fan of Blimpie Burgers on South Division, right near Elbel Field and behind West Quad. The lines get very long on gamedays but it's worth it.

For Pizza, check out Cottage Inn on E. William.

Ok, what am I leaving out? It's late and just trying to get up one last post for the day before I call it a night.

Mike Hart Would Like You to Put the Damn Keys Away, Too!

If you're a longtime reader of the site, you know there's one thing about football Saturday's in A2 that drive me crazy: the lack of noise in the Big House. On September 1st when Michigan opens its 2007 campaign against Appalachian State at home, the Wolverines will do so in front of one of the most incredible spectacles in all of sport: the quietest 100,000+ people known to man.

During the first two years of existence for the MZone, I've made it my own personal crusade to try to amp up the volume in the Big (Quiet) House. Some have misconstrued this to mean I'm asking fans to be rude or obnoxious. Not so. I just would like to see the place be a tad more intimidating than a Wolverine tennis match.

Now, even some Michigan players are asking Michigan fans to step it up.

In the 2007 Football Preview Issue of THE WOLVERINE, U-M running back Mike Hart says he would like to see things get a little more intimidating for the opposition as well. Quoting from the article titled Hart Wary of Michigan's Schedule, Urges Noise:

Hence the hope that Michigan's fans will make life as tough on the visitors, noise-wise, as the Wolverines find it when they hit the road. Rarely do Michigan coaches or players directly appeal for assistance in such a way, but Hart wasn't shy about it.

"That's when you need the stadium," he said. "That's the one thing we really need to do this year as fans, as everyone - make it extra hard for teams coming in here. Show them it's not the same Big House. It needs to be a lot crazier."

The articles ends by saying:

Hart's appeal appears to follow the general theme directed toward Michigan fans in the coming year. On the Wolverines' schedule cards for football, the message above the listed games urges: BE EARLY - BE LOUD.

Couldn't agree more. As such, I'm reprinting my "Put the Damn Keys Away" article which was one of the first ever here on the MZone way back in our infancy in 2005. I ask - nay, beseech - any and all Michigan fans reading today to please pass this on to five Wolverine fans who go to the games. Just five.

If you work in an office, instead of forwarding the latest lame golf joke sweeping the Internet, do your part to help Meeechigan. If you're a student, send this to five others and put this on your MySpace page and/or Facebook page. And if you're visiting from one of the many Michigan message boards, please put up a link on those sites.

Help make the Big House LOUD!

Go Blue!

Yost

PUT THE DAMN KEYS AWAY

October 12, 2005

I once met an Auburn fan at a sports bar where I had gone to watch the Michigan game not long after moving out of state. Talking college football, he mentioned that he always wanted to go to a game in Ann Arbor saying, "Must be crazy there, 100,000 fans in the stadium going nuts each weekend."

When I told him that actually, during big -- or "key" -- plays, Michigan fans whip out their key chains and "jangle" them, he thought I was joking. When I told him I wasn't, first he laughed, then he called one of his fellow SEC buddies over and said, "Tell him what you just told me."

After explaining Michigan's key play "tradition" once more, the other Auburn alum asked, "Does it ever get loud there?"

"Truth is," I said, "not really." I told him that about the only time you hear a Michigan fan in the alumni section scream is when he yells "Down in front!" at one of the few truly vocal Wolverine supporters in Michigan Stadium (I think I even said that chant should replace the more famous "Let's Go Blue!" cheer as it's probably uttered more during games).

The Tiger/War Eagle/Make Up Your Mind fans were shocked. And I almost felt embarrassed. Like I had just revealed some awkward family secret. But it's time to face reality:

Michigan fans are some of the worst fans in the country.

There, I said it. And I feel better having gotten it off my chest as this post/column/rant/soon-to-be-diatribe has been building in me since I first traveled to watch Michigan play on the road when I was 14 years old and saw for myself what a true home field advantage really is. Or more to the point, I HEARD what good fans "sound" like. And they don't sound like The Big (Quiet) House which is quite possibly the lamest home field advantage in all of college football.

Am I wrong? Was I exaggerating to the Tiger/War Eagle/Make Up Your Mind fans above? Take a look at the picture: Hands raised, keys out, mouths...shut! Wow. How intimidating. Must be so hard to audible when the car key clangs against the house key like that. Or maybe the reflection is supposed to blind the QB.

And the most pathetic part? If you're familiar with Michigan Stadium then you know that this picture was taken IN THE STUDENT SECTION!

Sweet Mother of Ufer! How sad. And that's the "rowdy" section of Michigan Stadium.

Unfortunately, those that attend Michigan games seem to confuse merely showing up at the games with being great fans. But I don't give a rat's cornhole that we've had over 100,000 at every home game since 1975. Playing at home should provide the home team with an advantage. And in football, the way to do that is to be LOUD! To keep the other team from being able to change plays at the line. To keep them from getting in a rhythm. To keep them from hearing the snap count. And not just for a handful of plays one or two games a year!

Now before someone out there even says it, before Mr. Down In Front even opens his mouth to utter The Big Excuse for The Big (Quiet) House, shut your pie hole and listen:

IT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF THE DAMN STADIUM!

We've all heard that crap, right? "But the open bowl doesn't trap the sound."

Bullsh*t! I am so sick and tired of hearing that excuse.

Look at the picture again! It's not the shape of the stadium. It's the shape of the mouths of the fans in the stands: CLOSED!

I've traveled to away games at places like Notre Dame, Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan State, Iowa and Oregon (half the size, twice the noise) -- as well as numerous bowl games -- and Michigan fans are by far the quietest fans around. Period.

Sure, we throw great tailgates. We buy lots of maize and blue paraphernalia. We pack the stadium each Saturday. But we don't give our team a home field advantage worth a damn!

So folks have to stop "blaming" the shape of the stadium. The problem is the fans. If you put 100,000 people on a flat, open field and they're all screaming, guess what? It's going to be loud -- that is if everyone opens their mouths and not their pockets and purses to pull out their &^%$ keys!

Bottom line, we need to turn The Big House into the most intimidating home field advantage in all of college football. A place that, due to the constant noise level, is the most difficult place to play for an opposing team -- from the first snap until the final gun. A place so thunderous that the Michigan student section keeps track of false start penalties and delay of game infractions caused by noise, like baseball fans who mark off strike outs using "K" signs hanging over the outfield wall.

So next time you see a guy take out his keys before a crucial play, tell him to put the damn keys away and GET LOUD.

Next time someone behind you yells "Down in front!" during the opponent's drive toward our endzone, tell him to turn that energy toward the field to help his team.

Next time a cheerleader holds up a "Key Play" sign on the field, throw her a Sharpie and tell her to write "MAKE NOISE!"

And most of all, you -- you reading this column/post/rant -- MAKE SOME NOISE next time you're in A2 for a game.

You know, I may not bring about world peace. Or cure a deadly disease. But if I can somehow spur Michigan fans to make The Big House into the biggest home field advantage in America, if I can help turn Michigan Stadium into the most intimidating place to play in college football, I will have accomplished a feat some say is tougher to achieve than the first two.

If you disagree with this column, post away. But for the love of Schembechler, if you agree with this in any way, shape or form, please pass this on to five or six Michigan fans. I figure if chain emails about Bill Gates giving away money can circle the globe every three months, we can reach 100,000 season ticket holders no sweat. Help turn The Big House into The Loud(est) House.

UPDATE: To get one of the high-quality MZone "Loud House" t-shirts inspired by the above post, click here.

UPDATE, PART II: First off, thanks to the MZone reader who linked this story on MLive. But, what did the very first person who commented there say? Take a wild guess. Under the title of his reply "That's a myth," the guy starts his comment by stating, "Michigan stadium is quiet because of acoustics - not because of blue-haired alumni." Dude, clue up. Notre Dame Stadium was patterned "on a smaller scale" after Michigan Stadium and it's twice as loud.

From One U.S. American to Another

Earlier this week, we put up a post from the Miss Teen USA pageant in which Miss South Carolina had, shall we say, a wee bit of trouble answering a map question.

Well, yesterday she was on the TODAY show and got a do-over, a second chance at answering the "brain teaser" that left her so baffled (and host Mario Lopez fighting to keep a straight face). Here's a copy of the clip. Pay close attention as to where she''ll be attending college (about 3:43 into the clip)...



Yep. Appalachian State. Naturally, we here at the MZone would never, ever think of using such a comedic softball to our advantage. This poor girl - and by association, the school of our opening opponent on Saturday - has suffered enough.

Instead, we offer our ASU friends a hearty welcome to Ann Arbor, Michigan, this weekend. We hope you can make it up for the game.

Oh, and just in case...

Uh, before I make too much fun of Appalachian State...

I REALLY wish the guy in the clip below wasn't wearing a Michigan shirt.

What...the...fuck?!

Here is some guy's "video response" to the Miss Teen USA clip. Please, please, please tell me he found the U-M shirt in the dumpster.



(HT: Chris)

Little Help Out There

Rumor has it that the Miss Teen USA Contestant who had such difficulty with the Q&A portion of the pageant the other night was on the TODAY SHOW this morning. During her appearance she said she will attending college at Appy State.

Anybody out there have a clip they can put up on YouTube? Please. For the love of all that is holy.

I'll take "None of the Above" for $100

The official Appalachian State website has a poll up regarding their game this weekend against Michigan. The "Coca-Cola Fan Poll" asks the following:

Which area will be most critical for the Mountaineers in the Sept. 1 football opener at Michigan?

A) ASU offense vs. U-M defense
B) ASU defense vs. U-M offense
C) Special Teams

"Most critical," as in what it will take for Appy State to win?

Now, while I admire their moxie, let's me honest, folks,: none of those answers should make a difference.

But, this being the MZone, we've come up with some other poll answers which they forgot to include that could actually turn the tide in ASU's favor...

D) Entire U-M team oversleeps
E) ASU has nude photos of Lloyd Carr and a group of young Asian boys
F) Instead of practicing this week, U-M forced to watch ASU Hot! Hot! Hot! video 24/7
G) The game is played in an alternate universe where U-M is a 1-AA team and ASU is winningest major college program of all time
H) Jim Herrrrmannnn returns to coach U-M defense
I) ASU comes out wearing OSU replica uniforms
J) Michigan fans forget to shake their keys thus negating the jet-like noise of the Michigan Stadium home field advantage.
K) King Leonidas comes back from the dead to QB the Mountaineers

If there are any I forgot, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.


(HT: Dave)

David Boston DUI Footage

It's long but here's the police footage of former Tosu receiver, David Boston, during a police stop in, I think, the Tampa area. He ended up being charged with DUI.

In the beginning, I love how he tries to say he's too injured take a field sobriety test. Nice try.

And, of course, what everybody wants to know: nope, can't tell if he has a Buckstache. The video is from too far away. But if I had to guess...



(HT: Mcc)

BTN: WTF?!

Okay, with so many rumors floating around out there, does anybody know for sure what the hell's going on for those folks who can get the Big Ten Network this weekend?

We all know a large portion of Michigan - and Big Ten folks all over the Midwest - will be unable to get the channel this weekend due to Jim Delaney screwing over his own conference's fans as a negotiating tactic (as much as I'm no fan of big cable companies, in my opinion, the fault here rests squarely with Delaney's insistence that the BTN is a national sports network and not a regional niche channel that belongs on a sports package tier. Period.)

But what's going on for those who can get the channel but live outside of the Midwest, say on the east or west coasts? By that I mean, if a Michigan fan lives in San Francisco and gets the BTN on his cable/satellite dish but there are two Big 10 games on at the same time, will he be able to see them both? I've heard rumors of "spillover" channels to take care of this problem, but is that really going to happen in, say, the Boston market? Is a cable company so far away from Big 10 country really going to give up "X" extra channels to carry a game(s) that, in all honesty, might not be of much interest to a majority of their subscribers?

Anybody know? I've been getting a few emails but, honestly, with so much misinformation out there, I'm not sure what the hell is going on.

You know, I never had this fucking problem when the games were on ESPN's Gamplan. Thanks, Jimbo.

Two Minute Drill

* In the wake of the Dear-God-please-please- PLEASE-tell-me-this-is-a-joke Facebook quiz entry of U-M's Marques Slocum, the guys at Barking Carnival reveal Marques' INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO interview.

* Ann Arbor News sportswriter Jim Carty's talks M football during his interview with The Big Lead.

(HT: SH)

* SI writer Austin Murphy's book, SATURDAY RULES: A Season with Trojans and Domers (and Gators and Buckeyes and Wolverines), goes on sale next week on September 4th.

According to the Amazon site and the info sent our way by the publisher, Murphy has spent many years covering both the pro and college game, but in his book, he argues that the college game captivating, fan-friendly and fun that "the corporate, clinical and hermetically sealed game they play on Sunday."

No argument here.

* Michigan swimming great, Tex Robertson, passed away. He was 98.

(HT: Tom)

* UCLA has unveiled its dance team for 2007 and there's not a soccer mom in the bunch.

(HT: Bruins Nation)

* Tosu coach Jim Tressell banned girlfriends from the Buckeye training camp this season. They had always been banned from the rooms of the players during the three weeks they lived in an off-campus hotel but this year, he also banned them from the lobby.

Tight end Rory Nicol was quick to note that the rule didn't apply to married players. Uh, gee, thanks for the newsflash, Rory. Outside of BYU, I'm guess that doesn't affect too many players.

(HT: DW)

* Ohio State is cracking down on a tailgating law before home football games. According to the WKYC link above, Buckeye fans who show up at RV lots before 5 a.m. on game days won't be allowed to park. They'll be directed to the state fairgrounds. Apparently the early tailgaters interfere with parking for sporting events on Friday night and officials claim its not safe for parking attendants to work all night selling tickets to eager fans.

Folks, after hearing about the new strict enforcement, all I can say is thank God. Because if you've ever been to Columbus for a game, heaven knows that's the biggest problem around the stadium on football Saturdays. I can't tell you how many times I've returned from seeing a game in the 'Shoe and, when people ask me how it was, I regretfully have to say, "Well, the Tosu fans are the best in the land, naturally. But those motherfucking RVs make Columbus a living hell!"

(HT: DW)

Holy Shit, It's Almost Here!

I love this week.

The last few days leading up to the first game of a college football season are the closest I've found as an adult to those exciting, anxious days of my youth right before Christmas.

Now, as then, hope springs eternal. Optimism is the norm.

Would I get the ThunderCats action figures? I asked Santa and he seemed pretty positive. Will Michigan's defense erase the sting of the final two games of last season? I read the papers and everybody says they're using the doubts as motivation. It looks good.

Then again, it always looks good this week, doesn't it? Just as those unopened packages underneath the tree on December 22nd always contained the requested gift.

This week, the season is still perfect. This week, The Big Dream is possible. This week, none of those presents contain underwear and socks.

Of course, for all but two teams, that dream eventually dies. For some it was unrealistic from the get go. They never really had a shot except for this week. They were fooling themselves. (Did I really think Santa was going to bring me the cute girl from Facts of Life that one year?)

For other teams, legitimate visions of BCS glory bubbling forth between now and Friday are erased before the leaves have fallen from the trees. Others will stumble in the midst of the yet-to-be determined "Showdown Saturday. A select few will be allowed to hold onto August's anticipation until fall's final games are played.

Yet still it will end. By a flat effort against an inferior opponent. A lucky bounce. A trick play. A missed call.

But not today.

Today we all sit on the right knee of the mall College Football Santa, reading off our wish list for 2007. And I'll be damned if he doesn't listen. And give "that smile" that makes you believe it's all going to come your way. Which is good enough. Because right now, this week, it doesn't get any better.

Ed. Note: Yes, there was one hot chick on Facts of Life. Honest. At least on the cusp of puberty there was.

What happens at Marshall stays at Marshall

According to the Herald-Dispatch, the below picture of Marshall wide receiver Shawn Lazoun "modeling" articles of his football uniform is from the team's annual "clinic for women" last week...


"Alright, ladies, welcome to the Big Green Room of John C. Edwards Stadium! Let's meet your starting backfield...Mr. Chip and Dale! C'mon now, the more noise you make, the more 'football equipment' you get to see! What? I can't hear you! Whoa! And don't forget, for just five bucks in our 'First and Long' room, you can lick whip cream off the punter's 'kicking leg!' Whoa! It's getting hot in here!"

(HT: LM)

Revamped Pre-Season Poll

After thinking about it, mulling it over and, most importantly, listening to your comments, here is my final pre-season poll for MGoBlog's Blogpoll.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Southern Cal	25
2	Texas	24
3	LSU	23
4	Oklahoma	22
5	Penn State	21
6	Virginia Tech	20
7	California	19
8	Florida	18
9	Georgia	17
10	Michigan	16
11	Louisville	15
12	Tennessee	14
13	Miami (Florida)	13
14	Ohio State	12
15	West Virginia	11
16	Texas A&M	10
17	Hawaii	9
18	Oregon	8
19	Nebraska	7
20	UCLA	6
21	Wisconsin	5
22	Florida State	4
23	Auburn	3
24	Boston College	2
25	Missouri	1

Dropped Out:

The biggest changes based on your input and my second thoughts are:

* I added Mizzou and FSU and dropped out Boise State and ASU. I think Boise had their run and, as an outsider, won't be able to recover from the lost I think Hawaii will give them. If they lose that one, they don't play anybody else that will help them "recover" in the polls.

* Also, based on your opinions, I dropped UGA down a few places. I still am picking them as my "sleeper" top 10 team, just not as high as I had them before (the whole idea of sleeper meaning nobody saw them being that good when the season started). Everyone's input made me reconsider my previous ranking there.

Finally, as I always say -- preseason polls don't mean squat. I don't think one can get a true indication of a team until three games are played. But where's the fun in that, right?

TFNP: Miss South Carolina Answers a Question

Yes, I know it's the first week of the season. And I know there's a ton o' cfb stuff to be putting up. BUT if you haven't seen the clip below from the Miss Teen USA 2007 pageant, well, you must...



God help us all.

Yost on the Radio Sunday Night

If you're in the Denver area (or want to listen live on the Internet), I'll be on 710 AM, KNUS Sunday night at 8:51 pm (because I don't do shit before 8:50, that's just how I roll) talking college football with good friend of the MZone, Bill Rogan on his show.

Check it out if you're so inclined.

The Return of Beer Bong Friday

It's time. It's waaaaaay past time. And me thinks you'll enjoy this one...

Red River Rivalry: Dangerous To Your Scrotum

Sometimes I'm sorry I check my inbox. Case in point:

A Texas fan who walked into an Oklahoma City bar wearing a Longhorn t-shirt was viciously attacked by an Oklahoma Sooner fan who tore the man's scrotum.

Yes, you read that correctly: he tore the man's scrotum.

According to the OKNews.com story linked above, the UT fan and a friend entered the bar where they were immediately accosted by Allen Michael Beckett, an alleged OU "fan," who began screaming at the Texas fan, calling him "everything under the sun" for wearing his Longhorn tee into the establishment. After trying to ignore the guy's abuse for 20 minutes, the UT fan and his pal finally just went to the bar to pay their tab and get the hell out of Dodge (or Oklahoma City in this case). But when the UT fan turned around, Beckett grabbed his crotch and refused to let go.

The UT fan hit the Sooner fan several times. Yet even after bar patrons intervened (although being Oklahoma, the story fails to mention whose side they intervened on), Beckett didn't let go the Longhorn fan go until he heard his scrotum tear and blood began to run down his leg.

It took 60 stitches to close the wound. Beckett has been charged with aggravated assault and battery (although they should add hate crime as well. Because if tearing a man's scrotum isn't a hate crime, folks, I don't know what is).

Even worse, we here at the MZone have learned this isn't the first time such a "scrotum attack" has happened to a Texas fan who stumbled into an Oklahoma bar as evidenced by the shocking...

...NSFW...

...picture...

...below.

If you're still scrolling down...

...you've been warned.

Just remember, you can't unring a bell.



My sincere apologies for the coffee now dripping off your computer screen.

All kidding aside, I hope authorities throw the book at Beckett...then kick him in the balls as hard as humanly possible.

P.S. Oh, and to all of you who now want gouge your eyes out with a tongue depressor - just be thankful you didn't have to Photoshop the original picture. Trust me on that one.

(HT: SpankyToes)

A Post from Yost

Dear Reader,

My sincere apologies for all the Michigan dudes sticking up for this "hot" model from an online shop I posted about the other day...


Personally, I wasn't that impressed. I prefer my models to have more cleavage than I do. Yet many U-M fans left comments saying I was wrong for not realizing gorgeous when I saw it. Apparently, years of living in A2 have skewed their hotness meter to proportions best left unknown.

As someone who has now lived outside A2 for a number of years post-college, allow me to showcase the difference between "Michigan hot" and "rest of the world hot" (or, as it's known outside the confines of State Street, "SEC hot")...


Hope that helped.

Ok...can't...resist...the temptation...regarding...the picture above...so...must ask...

Is that what they mean at UGA by "between the hedges?"

Thank you, goodnight! I'll be here all week!

Comcast Busted for Cheap PR Stunt in Dispute with BTN

The negotiating war between Comcast and the Big Ten over carriage issues regarding the soon-to-be-launched Big Ten Network (BTN) is starting to resemble the dirty tricks of a political campaign.

Recently, a "big fan" began putting up posts on various college football message boards blasting the BTN's negotiating position and pointing folks to a site advocating the views of the poor little cable company. The posts, apparently written by a regular fan rising up to challenge Jim Delaney and the Big Ten's negotiating tactics in the dispute, looked something like this one on an MSU site (obtained via Brian Cook's AOL Fanhouse site)...

"I'm a big fan of State sports so I went to the Big 10 Network's kick-off party in East Lansing last week. Big 10 Commissioner Jim Delaney was there telling everybody how great this new TV package is going to be for college football and b-ball fans. WHAT A CROCK! Delaney is like the emperor who wore no clothes...the BTC has already sold its best games to ABC and ESPN. How delusional is Delaney and these other Big 10 greedmongers who want to charge us for the games we'd be able to see on our local cable station? If you want to learn more about the Big 10's big time rip off, I found a web site that explains a lot... www.puttingfansfirst.org VICTORY FOR MSU!!!"

Just one problem: it was all bullshit.

Trevor Barnes, the site administrator at SpartanTailgate.com, discovered that the posts weren't honest fan outrage at all but rather a viral marketing ploy by a company on the Comcast payroll after they posted on his site.

Busted, fuckers.

Turns out, the rant was being posted around the blogosphere by some employee of Comcast-hire, Martin Waymire Advocacy Communications. And the "fan site" the poster linked to in his tirade was apparently by the same group as well.

In fact, this so backfired, the crack PR specialists behind the cheap stunt were forced to apologize to Barnes and the SpartanTailgate community after being outed...

To: Trevor Barnes and the posters at SpartanTailgate.com:

Please accept my apologies for the post by one of my company’s employees regarding the Big 10 Network’s insistence that the new channel be forced on all cable customers, not just those interested in sports. You were right to “out” that posting, as it did not clearly point out our company does work for Comcast (which did not pre-approve the message posted).

Our staffer is indeed a MSU student, and did attend Commissioner Delaney’s kickoff in East Lansing. And he is a big Spartan fan. Given a chance to buy the network as part of a sports tier, he probably would!

That doesn’t excuse our failure to identify that the posting was done by our company advocating for a particular position.

Again, my apologies. Go Spartans…at least until they play my Northwestern Wildcats!

David Waymire
Martin Waymire Advocacy Communications

What a load of crap. As someone even said on Spartan Tailgate, "Spin baby, spin." Wonder if the PR firm will hire its own crisis management folks after this blew up in their face?

Gee, and to think I didn't think I could like anybody less than Jim Delaney in this mess.

(HT: JW)

MZone Pre-Preseason Poll

You know the season is getting close when the time comes to start ranking teams you haven't seen play one down yet, basing said rankings primarily on the previous season (even though the nature of college football means many new roster faces each year) and the history of the football program (suck it, Boise State).

Thus, below is my pre-preseason poll for MGoBlog's Blog Poll. If you're not familiar with it, the Blog Poll is a weekly college football poll whose voters are comprised of college football bloggers across the land (or in our case, blogs that put up a lot of pictures of semi-naked co-eds and tangentially touch upon college football).

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Southern Cal	25
2	Texas	24
3	LSU	23
4	Georgia	22
5	Oklahoma	21
6	Penn State	20
7	Virginia Tech	19
8	California	18
9	Florida	17
10	Louisville	16
11	Michigan	15
12	Tennessee	14
13	Miami (Florida)	13
14	Ohio State	12
15	West Virginia	11
16	Texas A&M	10
17	Hawaii	9
18	Oregon	8
19	Nebraska	7
20	UCLA	6
21	Wisconsin	5
22	Boise State	4
23	Arizona State	3
24	Auburn	2
25	Boston College	1

Dropped Out:

Now, the sole purpose of the pre-preseason poll is to get input and feedback. So what do you have to say?

And let me be perfectly honest in saying most of this is guesswork. Then again, how can it not be at this point?

Couple things about why I voted the way I did:

* MICHIGAN - in a nutshell, I don't believe yet. Yes, our offense is loaded but will we be able to stop anyone? We lost our best D players and this from a unit that got absolutely embarrassed by the two really good teams it played at the end of last season. Plus, we often seem to find a way to drop an early game and our Oregon-ND-Penn State stretch looks like the place we could do that.

* PENN STATE - I agree with Kirk Herbstreit here: they have the D to make a run. Couple that with an experienced QB and the feeling that Joe Pa might have one more great run in him and me thinks this could be their year.

* UGA - Why so high? Why not. There is always one team that people think will be good, but not great, that makes a run (see Michigan 2006). Who it is is anybody's guess in August. Thus, UGA is my guess.

* WVU - Sorry, Mountaineer fans, you're a top ranked party school but I just don't buy you as a top ranked football team, no matter what the other polls say. PLAY SOMEBODY OUT OF CONFERENCE then we'll talk about lofty preseason rankings.

* OHIO STATE - Can't doubt Tressel after what he's done there but after losing so much talent, this could be a down year, well, a down year by the lofty standards he's set in C-bus.

* WISCO - I think last year was a mirage based on scheduling (ie no OSU). And with a non-con schedule this year which includes a WVU-like "gauntlet" of Wazoo, UNLV, the Citadel and Northern Illinois, they could be poised to look great early. But I still think they're going to drop two in the Big 10, maybe three.

* MIAMI - like UGA as my team that most pick in the middle of the preseason top 25 pack, Miami is my pick for a team that's not ranked but sneaks into the poll early and hangs around for the rest of the season. Again, there's always at least one team like that, this is mine.

Ok, let me hear your thoughts. The "real" Blog Poll preseason poll will be released next week. Bri asked voters to put up a pre-pre, get feedback, then submit the real McCoy (not to be confused with Colt). Thus, feedback away.

UPDATE: The first official Blog Poll is up on MGoBlog.