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Thursday, November 01, 2007

Caption Contest: M Go Mardi Gras!

Yesterday, reader WM sent us perhaps the greatest single reader-submitted picture in the history of the MZone. NSFW? Folks, this thing is Not Safe For Life!

First, the setup courtesy of WM's email...

"I'm a big fan of your blog and live in Houston, TX. I just traveled up there for the Michigan/Minnesota game, and I wanted to share a pic I took from that game, and more IMPORTANTLY, and picture from Mardi Gras several years ago. I'm wearing a Michigan hat and the rest....well, the rest explains itself! Thought you may be able to use the Mardi Gras pic for some lighthearted comedy!"

Talk about burying the lead. He sends a picture of Michigan running out of the tunnel which is good, you know. Then the one below...

(ED. NOTE: Please finish any and all beverages you are currently drinking before scrolling down)


Do you fine people have idea how many pixels of blackout I had to use to make this remotely semi-safe for our often-R-rated-but-never-X-rated site? Those were the largest areolas I've ever seen in my life - real, pornographic or imagined.

Sweet Jesus! He's being swallowed alive. His buddy right next to him could have been shouting WM's name at the top of his lungs and he wouldn't have heard shit.

And check out the reactions of the guy in the Dolphins hat on the left and the dude in the background. Priceless. Simply priceless.

Folks, this deserves a caption contest - nay, demands it. Here's what we came up with...


"New Orleans ear muffs."
Leave us your best in the comments section while I go gouge my eyes out with a tuning fork.

38 comments:

Rik said...

Here, this should protect you from hearing any more Appalachian State jokes.

Dezzi said...

"This damn case of cauliflower ear just won't go away and it makes me the laughing stock of New Orleans!"

or

"Dumbo ain't got s**t on me!!"

J. Lichty said...

Michigan offensive coordinator Mike Debord tries on his new head phones. Debord commented, "This is more than enough technology to call repeated zone stretch runs to the left down to the sidelines."

---OR ---

University of Michigan School of Engineering student, Patrick Bobbler, tries on a new sound filtering device he invented in his lab on North Campus which filters out the deafening key jingling heard at Michigan stadium on opponent third down attempts.

Daniel said...

"I didn't say PSU motherf@&#er! I went to "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO U!"

lilboymgoblue said...

I'm All Ears!

Sticks 'n stones may break my bones but words will NEVER hurt me!

Maize said...

that girl really knows how to swallow a head!

goblue said...

i just want to know where i can see the real picture! :)

Dezzi said...

goblue

I just threw up a little in my mouth from that comment...

Chuck said...

If more than a mouthful is a waste, then you're looking at 98% wasted tits.

Killing My Liver said...

"annnndd twwwiiiiiiinnnnsss!!!!"

*sung to the Coors Lights commercial theme

beast in 'bama said...

Available Tuesday, November 6 on BluRay and DVD...The long-awaited director's cut of "A Streetcar Named Desire." Completely uncut and uncensored, see Elia Kazan's masterpiece of smoldering sexual tension in its original form.

Stanley
Hey you two hens, cut out that cacklin' in there.
Stella
You can't hear us...
Stanley
Well you can hear me, now knock it off!

Stella
Mr. Kowalski is too busy making a pig of himself... Your face and your fingers are disgustingly greasy.

Blanche
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Stanley
HEY STELLA!!

whetstonebuck said...

N'awlins: Thanks for the mammories.

TitleIX said...

New Orleans Headache Remedy:

Take two and squeeze.

whetstonebuck said...

"These vacations are going to nipple and dime me to death."

whetstonebuck said...

Gimmie the beads now, dammit, or the Michigan boob gets it!

whetstonebuck said...

Young man, you must take care of this ear wax problem. Normally, I would use a couple of Q-tips to dig out the wax, but you are really impacted.

Andy said...

Yet another embarassing Big 10 moment when faced by the superior SEC...

Hart Break Kid said...

"Now Michigan also owns the second most famous helmet in college football."

"This is the Michigan Athletic Dept.'s Plan B for those in the crowd who can't be bothered by crowd noise."

Out of Conference said...

Check out the floppy rabbit ears on the guy in the M hat!

--or--

Bose sound canceling funbagphones... only for the discriminating traveler.

Katie said...

The whit on this forum is incredible! You guys are so funny! Thanks to all of you for my dose of laughter today!

I must say though, this is wrong in so many ways!

Mikoyan said...

"Let's go to New Orleans and suck it's wonder milk for it's very teat"...Or something like that.

glassyarddog said...

"Good thing they did not put powedered sugar on these big beignets!"

srudoff said...

"You named your boobs?"...

"Yes! I call the left one Mario Mammoryham and the right one Steve Breaston, although next year I'll have to rename one of them to Boubacar!"

Killing My Liver said...

Wow, Sru

I'll have to give you credit for those.
+3
You might be a douchebag, but you're a once in a while funny douchebag.

Jason said...

"Hey, guess who we met at Mardi Gras?"

"who?"

"Charlie Weis!"

Chuck said...

These are replacing Gary Danielson and Brent Musberger as the biggest boobs in college football.

kowisja said...

All I told her was one day Les Miles will wear this hat.

whetstonebuck said...

Mom! Cut it out!

srudoff said...

A Penn State fan continues their newfound tradition of pelting fans of their rivals with cans

DaBraylon17 said...

nothing to do with this post, but I thought Yost, and other UM fans for that matter, would appreciate this. The following paragraph was written by someone at collegefootballnews.com (I can just picture OSU fans just mildly shaking their heads with a little smirk on their face while reading this, then when done reading it, they say, "Yeah right. No chance that happens."):


In what will surely go down as one of the strangest bookends to a regular season in college football history, Michigan is going to beat Ohio State on Nov. 17, coming full circle on a season that began with the infamous loss to Appalachian State on Sept. 1. You can just feel this coming, as the Wolverines surged to a seventh straight win on Saturday afternoon. Sure, the opponent was lowly Minnesota, but the underlying cause for optimism was that Michigan stayed on the tracks, despite not having both Mike Hart and Chad Henne for an entire game for the first in their careers. While Hart and Henne rested, the Wolverines maintained momentum and bolstered their depth, getting solid production from freshman QB Ryan Mallett and sophomore backs Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown. The confidence is building. The stars are getting healthier. WR Mario Manningham is back to being an integral part of the attack. And the defense, so maligned during the 0-2 start, has climbed all the way up to No. 3 in the league, creating turnovers faster than a French baker and not allowing a meaningful second-half touchdown during the seven-game winning streak. Michigan is all the way back, its respectability back intact and its to-do list now including a trip to Pasadena that seemed impossible two months ago. Ohio State is a worthy No. 1 team, coming off an impressive win over Penn State Saturday night. Its perfect season, however, is going to end in Ann Arbor by a Michigan team that is in the process of authoring one of the great turnarounds in school history. Ponder this: When the dust settles in January, what would qualify as the bigger shocker, the Wolverines losing to a team from the Southern Conference, or the Wolverines rebounding from an 0-2 start and the absolute depths of despair to win the Big Ten.

srudoff said...

1. threadjack :)

2. hope UM is looking past MSU and Wisky like this writer is...

now who wins the caption contest?

M4life said...

You motorboated em didn't ya!
You reverse motorboatin son-of-a...

Hemlock Philosopher said...

Mark Mangino, minus velvet suit.

hmbfossil said...

Never again will I be able to think of Katie's once perfect quote in the same way...

"didn't you know you are supposed to sit back and WATCH the woman unclip the front loader?"

whetstonebuck said...

fossil,

I hear ya. That freak of nature kind of ruins the visual Katie provided.

No need for oxygen, but I have a hankerin' for some chocolate chip cookies. Not sure how to dunk them though.

Bryan said...

hey look, its the love child of Charlie Weis and Roseanne Barr...and she is trying to suffocate my friend.

Bryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WolverineSteve said...

SAVE THE MANATEES!!!