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Thursday, October 11, 2007

We are...ROAD RAGE!

The Internet is buzzing with rumors that Penn State head coach Joe Paterno was involved in a "road rage" incident last Friday afternoon on the school's Happy Valley campus. According to PSU site Black Shoe Diaries, what started as an allegation on one of the big Penn State message boards - which many thought was simply a hoax - has quickly gained traction as local media is now reporting on a mysterious road rage incident that took place at the same time, although Joe Pa hasn't been named yet.

The details of the incident, if accurate, are fucking hilarious if you run a college football website with a comedic bent a sad, sad chapter in Joe Paterno's legacy...

"Two grad students (husband and wife)that I know were driving on campus and being followed closely by a white car. The white car passes them and then cuts them off and pins them against the curb. The driver gets out and starts screaming obscenities at the woman (who was driving), flipping both middle fingers and repeatedly saying "do you know who I am!". The irate screaming and cursing by the driver of the white car continues long enough for the campus police to arrive at which time the driver of the white car takes off. The woman is so shaken up that the police ask here if she's OK to drive. The only thing they can think of that set the driver of the white car off was if they were driving too slow. They were both in some state of shock the rest of the day that Joe Paterno, a man they both admired, could act this way."

If true, this ranks very high in the coaching meltdown pantheon, right up with former U-M coach Gary Moeller's public self-immolation. Of course, maybe the husband and wife were driving so slow, they made Joe Pa's trip :02 seconds longer. And we all know how upset that would make him.

In their post about the incident, Black Shoe Diaries closed by saying, "It's times like this I wish I had some mad photoshops skills because this is just begging for it. Have at it Galen, Orson, and Yost."

Well, your wish is our command as we bring you another exciting addition of the MZone's new - and one my favorite - features, "Coming soon to a theater near you..."



Click here for a larger picture.

6 comments:

Crabapple Buck said...

Shouldn't the car be all white with one blue stripe in the middle?

beast in 'bama said...

Excellent.

However, there should be a bottle of blue pills on the dashboard. Despite all outward appearances, Simone Griffeth isn't going to start herself.

beast in 'bama said...

Found this quote from the original movie that seems to fit the moment:

"As the cars roar into Pennsylvania, the cradle of liberty, it seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets, which may make scoring particularly difficult, even with this year's rule changes. To recap those revisions: women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets, but teenagers now rack up 40 points, and toddlers under 12 now rate a big 70 points. The big score: anyone, any sex, over 75 years old has been upped to 100 points."

Da Vest said...

Not to defend JoePa necessarily, but that facts are sketchy so far. So what if the couple was so clueless that they ran a red light or stop sign, almost hit somebody and didn't know it? In that case the old man was protecting students from an idiot driver. Just sayin'

4070 said...

Maybe the victim's family name will be revealed at Bauman? A name synonymous with legendary over-the-hill coach meltdowns.

zen wizard said...

Apparently SOMETHING happened but he's spinning it that HE was the victim.