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Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Michigan Football Crisis: Day 3

I was at a Labor Day BBQ yesterday and some guy I never met before - who doesn't know I went to Michigan - spots my Michigan shirt and says, "Man, I wouldn't be seen in that shirt today."

Yes, from pre-season top 5 to heckled by strangers at the condiment table in the span of 48 hours.

It's going to be a long fall.

So while we should be turning our attention to Oregon, our tough foe from the Pac-10 this week, for obvious reasons, we here at the MZone have a hangover that might last until, oh...2021. Plus, why should we focus on the game at hand? Hell, our maize black and blue football team didn't.

Thus, we figure we might as well have a few laughs at least. Some of them might even be as funny as the group wearing the winged helmets were last Saturday, although I sincerely doubt that.

Scroll down to find all the crap we've been coming up with over the last three days in a sad, fruitless attempt to make the pain go away.


j said...

The worst part of this whole fiasco:
isn't losing to a D-II team,
isn't being the laughing stock of college football,
isn't watching Lloyd say "we'll rebuild from the bottom up",
isn't comments from total strangers,
isn't realizing that we may never win another game under Carr,
IT IS THOUGH not being able to get that damn HOT, HOT, HOT song out of my head.

Ron said...

Dammit Yost, these trying times don't call for movie trailers; they call for half-naked coeds...lots and lots of half-naked coeds!

whetstonebuck said...

I know the feeling. After the disaster in the desert last January, I put all my gear away. I was just too ashamed to wear it in public. Well, ashamed and afraid. Afraid I might get into a disturbing the peace scenario against my will and/or better judgment. With my position in the community jail is not an option.

Does that make me a bad fan or a realist?





TitleIX said...

NO to Saban.

We don't take Sparty's leftovers no matter HOW bad it gets....

whetstonebuck said...

As I said yesterday:

Geez, Louise, girls. Just skip all the middle men and hire Jim Tressel. You won't have to worry about beating him. It worked with Bo.

I don't know if you take OSU leftovers...anymore.

(of course I'm kidding. You can't have him)

Chuck said...

Congratulations to the Apps for their impressive win against the Michigan Wolverines. Michigan did not lose. Appalachian won. I have to laugh when I see so many UM fans and media decrying their team's losing to a lower division school. The biggest upset in college football history? These folks don't understand amateur athletics, including football. Appalachian is the two time defending national champion of their division. Its players had already amply demonstrated their heart and skill. They were not intimidated playing in front of 110,000 people, against a team that had 20+ more scholarship players, and against a program whose football budget is about 100x bigger. So much for chalking up wins on paper. If UM really believed that there should have been zero chance for Appalachian to win, then why did they schedule them in the first place? Or are they not so much interested in competition as they are in some early fall tailgating and then a friendly round of Christians vs Lions? Shame on them. And kudos to ASU.

Stephen said...


I believe we are not allowed to take Tressel... only one of his assistants... as our coach.

With that said... does that mean we can hire John Cooper as a replacement? He had the ability to get OSU to lose to Michigan... maybe it would work in reverse and as the coach of Michigan, OSU would again lose....

Scraper said...

Maybe Appy State could become the 12th team in the conference?

Stephen said...

I just watched the final few plays on YouTube... and saw the blocked field goal to win the game... they have 3 people rushing from that side... we have 3 blockers.... one of our blockers decides to DOUBLE the guy in the interior line (who was already being blocked) to let the guy come clean...

I give up on our special teams... I think the "special" is just the politically correct way of saying "retarded"...

Mike said...

Folks....lets step off the edge, let us finish 6-6 and get Lloyd out....

Les Miles will be the new coach in AA2 next year....Jimbo Fisher will be O-Coordinator from FSU (see his debacle last night) and all will be well.

Lloyd can ride off into the sunset just like Earl Bruce did in Columbus...with no legacy left in Ann Arbor

Crabapple Buck said...

You will find sympathy in the dictionary between shit and syphillis. If you don't get your heads out of your asses, you'll be 0-2 before you get your first win against the worst Irish team since Gerry Faust. Crying in your beer will just get you salty, watered down beer. mmmmmm beer. I remember Earle Bruce, after losing to Indiana, called it the darkest day in Ohio State history. We've had others since and have recovered. Find a new coach (& staff) and move forward.

Matt said...


Please leave your home and 5-year, $4.5 mil contract in Boise and come to Michigan to turn us into a powerhouse once again.

Think about it: if Michigan finished with success from here on out and did well next season, this would look like mere fire under our asses, an embarrassing wake-up call that was heeded. Don't let this be the beginning of the end.

Matt said...

No Les Miles!! He sucks. He would be worse than Lloyd. He has no control over his players and lets them slip in academics. Nobody in Louisiana likes him.

Temp430 said...

Les Miles?
Nick Saban?
Urban Meyer?

Are you out of your mind? AD Bill Martin would NEVER EVER put out the cash needed to bring in names like that. Look for him to shop at Walmart.

Out of Conference said...

Enough about App State already. You have a mark in the loss column, big deal. You had two last year. I stayed away over the weekend without posting to let the car crash victims collect their thoughts, hide the booze before the cops showed up, and gather their belongings before the car was towed. The App State game is over. Get over it! I don't think Michigan is the laughing stock because of the loss... I think you're the laughing stock because you're moping around like a little freaking kid who lost his favorite blanky. None of you think that Michigan is God's gift to college football, so why the hell do you not think that a two time defenidng national champion (albeit I-AA) shouldn't give you a run for your money?!? Not even Jesus Christ could have motivated your players into thinking they needed to exert effort to beat App State- so enough blaming the coaching staff. Now pick your asses off the turf, hussle your asses off in practice, and you'll be fine. You can take care of Oregon this weekend if you put App State behind you.
Now start posting some funny shit.

whetstonebuck said...


Sounds logical, but beware. It may backfire.

Since you are trying to reverse the mojo with Cooper, you might beat OSU, but end up losing all the other games. Gotta be careful with those parallel universe situations.

Andy said...

I put a Michigan shirt on Sunday morning and walked around and smiled all day long at the people pointing and jeering at me.

I am a Michigan Man. We have lost before and we will lose again.

I wonder how Oregon, Notre Dame, Penn State, Michigan State, and everyone else we play is going to feel after they get their asses handed to them by a team that lost to Appy State ?

Those who stay will be champions...

Pinball Pete said...

Heart, attitude, commitment, fundamentals - these are the things that make great football teams. The worst part about this loss is realizing that UM was cocky enough to assume they would win because they have prized recruits and more resources. I'm tired of people saying that App State is so good and justifying the win. There is no way they should have won this game I don't care if they won the DIV II title for 10 years straight. Michigan was claiming they had a right to play in the DIV 1 title game just 2 games ago!!!

MagnumTrojan11 said...

You will live to fight another day. Maybe with a new coach.... but you will live to fight another day. USC had some tough times too, now look at the run we are on. It will happen to Michigan too. Keep the faith and FIGHT ON!

Exley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JCF said...

I am a Buckeye through and through. And for the record, USC is my least favorite team, not the Maize and Blue.

Yes, my jaw dropped as I listened to Michigan go down at home (thank you, Sirius Radio). It was more the amazement factor than any satisfaction at learning an arch-rival lost a big game. But the fact is I don't like this for the Big Ten and for the grief our conference is taking over its talent-level and speed at the moment. Michigan is not Michigan when it doesn't get the respect it deserves. My Buckeyes showed up flat last January in Arizona, and Michigan showed up flat in their opener this year. Plain and simple. You guys got so much talent and so much to play for. And please beat Wisconsin this season (as Ohio State is not very good at that one).

Anyway, I do think coach Carr may be on his way out. I hope he gets to resign on his own terms. If he does go, I'd be cautious with thinking about Les Miles--he had the advantage of inheriting a ton of talent at LSU and an almost non-competitive recruiting territory (with the exception of Texas). Ohio State worked his Okie State team in a bowl game, too.

I'd say look outside of the box (its what OSU did to find Tressel, who I haa barely heard of before he was hired). The best guy out there, in my mind, is Jeff Tedford at Cal. Cal was 1-10 in 2001. The next year they were 7-5. Then 8-6 and then 10-2. They have been a ranked team since. His record is astounding. And this year, they boast a bona-fide, Top 10 or better team that is as fast as anyone in the land. At the end of the day, he will not stay (recent contract extension or otherwise) because the school will never care about football the way he cares about football. Yes, you'd still need to find that elusive defensive coordinator, but you'd have a head man that would make the whole conference shudder.

Thatguy2525 Dying Slowly in Ohio said...

As a Michigan fan for a long time I have seen this coming. Everytime that a mobile qb comes into the big house what happens. Does anybody remember Kordell Stewart (The Big House Hailmary)? What about when Donovan McNabb came to the big house and put up over 400 yards of total offense himself. Or even the first time that Northwestern got that 5 spread offense and upset us at the big house. Don't even want to mention Troy Smith or Vince Young. We have had problems against the spread offense regardless of who's running it. It really hurts when the qb can run. And as for the defense why would you sit back in the bullshit nickel all first have then start blitzing in the second. English always does that. By the time he realizes it were down two touchdowns then tries to fix it. We need to run a 5 spread offense and bring delayed back side blitzes like everyone else. I sure hope we can resolve some of our issues before the year is up. I hate Ohio as it is and really hate even more now. Thanks alot for nothing LLoyd Carr! You or should I say Charles Woodson and comp. gave you one year and your lucky that happened. I know every other REAL fan sees it.

Der Schatten said...

As a Bammer on the bad end of some inexplicable losses (No. Ill., Central Florida, UK, etc.) I can (sorta') feel the UM grief, but I offer you the following advice:

You DO NOT, DO NOT want to hire Les Miles.

He has energy and is aggressive, but at heart, he is scatterbrained, a knucklehead, and has diarrhea of the mouth (maybe moreso than Fredo H.).

His teams are barely prepared, make bad mistakes at critical teams, are ill-disciplined, and -for all the talent in the world- are too flat when it counts most, especially on the road.

When it was rumored we were thinking of taking a run at him, I groaned, having seen far too many Okie State choke jobs. If UM wants an alum, it seems there should be better ones out there. If you want a guaranteed implosion at some point and two inexplicable losses a season, then why let go of Carr b/c Miles is not an upgrade in that respect.

zen wizard said...

If it is any consolation, if I was facing a nickel in the federal penn, I would still rather MY LAWYER went to U. of M. than Appalachian State.

matt said...

"wonder how Oregon, Notre Dame, Penn State, Michigan State, and everyone else we play is going to feel after they get their asses handed to them by a team that lost to Appy State ?"

uhhh... i don't think this defense can stop oregon, michigan state, or penn state. notre dame - maybe. This defense is simply not fast enough, and athletic enough. next week they will be motivated, but will not make a guy who run's a 4.8 40, all of a sudden be able to run a 4.3 40. They are SLOW - and if you thought App State was bad, wait until you see Oregon's speed.

and i don't know where you've been in the last 20 years, but michigan never hands anyone their ass - they get up by 2td's, get conservative, and end up scraping by for the win.

Prediction for the next 2 games: We lose to Oregon big (14-17pts), and beat Notre Dame by 4.

MGoBlue93 said...

So Michigan dropped from the writers poll... and they should have... but what concerns me is they're only 20+ points from 25th. Who the hell in their right mind would give Michigan any votes? The same knucklehead who votes WVU number one every year?

Seth said...

As for Oregon being faster than ASU, keep in mind that the receiver who ran away from our D on that first drive got 2nd in the NCAA 100-meter and 200-meter dash last year.

MGoBlue93 said...

Matt... they handed ND their ass last year. But then again, that was ND.

Reed said...

I was at the Clemson/FSU game last night and talked to a lot of fans. Upon hearing I went to Michigan, each and every person (male, female, old, young, black, white) responsed with one of these three:


Kind of a shocked sympathy for the most part. Even the people that said they rooted for Ohio State gave one of those three responses. I don't have a real point here, just passing along the news

KG said...

Tip for the Michigan fans...stay away from YouTube!!! Buckeye and Penn State celebrations abound.

As a Buckeye fan, I send along my condolences. One, I don't think many Buckeye fans, or Big Ten fans, have thought out the gravity of this. Once this shakes out, it is bound to hurt all of us. The Big Ten is thought as a joke nationwide and now they have their smoking gun. It has hurt the conference, the Game and bowls for all teams.

Also, I vividly remember OSU's loss to Michigan State in 1998 at home that destroyed a national championship caliber team. I was sick about it for weeks, not days. One of those, "I shouldn't let this bother me so much" but still not able to shake it. I can only imagine this can only feel worse.

ChicagoWolverine said...

Looks like we win another record... Largest one week drop in poll history!


Curt said...

The Appalachian game wasn't shown here in Sacramento Ca but we saw the replays a dozen times. My only comment is that it is clear Appalachian players are faster than UM players. Their team speed was impressive and we noticed the uM linemen and linebackers couldn't move to position fast enough to counter the plays.
UM will bounce back like Stanford did after the Div. 2 team from UC Davis beat them 2 years ago on Stanford's home field.
Also, it's pointless to fire the UM coach. Any game plan might have failed against Appalachian but if the UM players didn't execute the plan given them, then that fault rests on the players.

matt said...

but curt, your missing my point - no gameplan can save the wolverines. they simply don't have the speed and athleticism to match up with oregon. period.

and that goes to coaches - because they recruit, they decide who's on the field. yes, we missed tackles, but we also got RAN BY. like we were standing in cement.

Curt said...

We don't have a lot of info about UM recruiting out here in CA so if Matt thinks UM is slow I'll go with that. And, yes, coaches recruit and must share the blame. Good point.
We saw tape of the Oregon QB Saturday and he looks just like the Appalachian QB, namely, fast and clever.
The UM/Oregon game will show in Sacramento so we get to see what's up with UM.

matt said...

curt, i watched the whole game - i'm in pasadena, but just went down to a bar and slowly got sicker and sicker as it dawned on me that michigan would probably lose that game. that was in the 2nd quarter.

they are slow.

they will lose to oregon.

if you gamble, take the oregon and the points for easy money.

their defense has been slow for a while now - you don't need to wait until watching them next week to realize that.

and sadly, they've done nothing to remedy the situation. they continue to recruit big, strong, slow guys - like it's still 1977.

it is coaching. and that same decision making when it comes to recruiting will not save us when drawing up defensive schemes to stop quicker, more athletic teams like Oregon.

Jim said...

Two things...

For everyone who keeps saying we need to get over it or Oregon will hand us our ass, I say: What are you talking about!? Despite what some may think fans have nothing to do with what goes on on the field.

Also, I think the reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated. Embarassing loss, yes. Slow defense, yes. But I'm sorry, I can't see how this isn't a Top 25 team. One game is one game. Get off the bash-wagon.

AndrewWL said...

I agree with all those who note that Michigan's loss is nothing to be happy about, even for opposing fans. As an Ohio State fan I have a decent collection of Michigan jokes that have been rendered useless now that the truth is actually funnier.

Ok, I got my dig in. I do honestly feel sorry for all you UM fans. I remember the feeling after the ending of last season after all the potential went, ultimately, unmet. I don't envy anyone who has to deal with that sting at the beginning of the season. Hopefully your season improves... until OSU comes to town (my sympathy can only stretch so far).

IamCris said...

Enough of the "SLOW" stuff. Michigan got BURNED on the CUTBACK, the CUTBACK has nothing to do with speed and everything to do with out of position defenders and bad angles and finally MISSED TACKLES. Missed tackles, bad angles and out of position equal touchdowns. How many td's did App St. score on cutbacks? Anyone? Correct being out of position and you correct the bad angles, correct those and you have what appears to be a FAST defense that can hopefully tackle.

As for the special teams, it can be corrected, easily in practice. Protect inside out. Crable will get it. It takes all of 1.3 seconds to get a kick off... a little more practice and problem solved. I've focused enough on feeling bad for myself and i'm prepared to look at reality and see that minor adjustments can fix all of this. It's got to come from the coaches, the Wolverines need people who believe in them now...bad as I want to strip the wings off of the helmets and boycott the game next week none of that will help. They need support. As bad as it hurts me and i've been a fan since I was kneehigh to a grasshopper I cannot IMAGINE the anguish that the players feel.

Best said like this. "Buck up or go sit in the truck cowboy" Rally the fcacking wagons pull your buttom lip off the ground and get ready to kick ass. The best is yet to come.

matt said...

iamchris: o.k., if you prefer - i'll say 'not quick' instead of 'slow'. it's quickness that allows players to change speeds, direction... etc. and michigan doesn't have it. they didn't have it when they played usc at the rosebowl last year, they didn't have it when they played app state last week. this is an ongoing problem - not something that can be changed with x's and o's in one week. they simply did not recruit 'quick' players; or if they did, those players weren't on the field last saturday.

you'll see when oregon comes to town, makes several hundred 'cutbacks', and drops 42 pts on michigan. the only chance michigan has is if their offense scores 45 pts.

last week was one game - but the writing has been on the wall for a few years now. their defense can't defend smaller, speedier (quicker!) offenses that run the spread. what happened a few years ago in Eugene...? oh yeah - a big L.

(L)Loyd carr simply has not recruited players to solve the problem - he still thinks bigger, stronger is the way to be. maybe in 1977 this was true, but not now.

Andy said...

Sounds like matt has it all figured out. I think he should be coach.

Matt said...

Prove everyone wrong!! There's a video of App beating Michigan to the tune of 2Pac's "Wonda Why They Call You Bitch." Turn the tables, Blue!

Stop throwing in the towel. Have some faith. 0-3 since Bo died? Maybe we should honor Bo's legacy and things will turn around: those who stay will be champions.

Matt said...

Oh BTW, there are 2 different Matts here. It's probably obvious, since one Matt is saying that we're too slow and I'm the optimist. Just to clarify.

Matt #2, I respect your opinion, but at least have some confidence in the team, as hard as it is. Ron English better get his act together with the defense.

IamCris said...

matt who thinks U of M is slow, ok matt, if #3 Stevie Brown is ten fcacking yards from where he is supposed to be, then uses his "speed" to correct his bad angle then misses the tackle then what? I watched the game, saw the replays enough and can promise you that once Brandon Englemon was in as his replacement UM was rock fcacking solid. Who intercepted the pass with 4:xx mins to go? Not an out of position world beater freshman i'll tell ya, a 5th year senior who knows where to be on the field. If you are wondering one reason why the defense was stronger in the 2nd half Mr. Englemon was one of the.

I'd love nothing more right now than to BEAT OREGON 45-42...that would be precious, cause I could tell Duck fans that App St. can beat em by 5 pts. Another thing on Oregon, Houston's Anthony Alridge ran for 205 yds. on 22 carries. You hear me? Oregon has a shit "D" line. If Mr. Carr has any wit at all it's 3 (or 9) yards and a cloud of dust all fcacking day saturday. By the 3rd the Ducks defense will be dead tired and beaten soundly. Michigan FTW (for the win)...point is you can't score (or do hundreds of cutbacks if you don't have the ball...just 6 enough for 42 points).

As for the bigger, stronger comment, um...we fixed that last year. Michigan is fast, and I guess the only way you'll believe that is by tuning in on saturday...trust me, there aint shiyat that will help Oregon...they will be pounded off the ball ALL DAY LONG. Henne can throw 3 passes for all I care and they can be shovel passes at that. I enjoy the exchange of differences of opinion, it's like talking to my Dad who's a Buckeye fan. Never give up the ship. Go Blue!!!

DZL said...


2nd Matt here. i hope you're right. i think Michigan can win this game, if they use a lot of clock on offense (hart carrying the ball 30-40 times) - there is no doubt that Oregon's defense is suspect. but on the other side of the ball, Oregon presents the same problems App state did, except with better players.

Matt #1: I respect your opinion as well, but Ron English can sleep in his office all week, use up all the ink in his dry-erase markers drawing up defenses, it just won't make a difference. we simply aren't quick enough.

tell me: what linebacker on Michigan's D is going to be able to 'shadow' Oregon's QB? because IF Michigan's CB's are able to somehow cover Oregon's 4 wideouts, their QB will bolt. and who will stop him? seriously, I want to know.

Our only chance is to hold the ball most of the game; and to hope for a couple of turnovers from Oregon.