DEEP-VOICED NARRATOR GUY: In a world where a preseason top 5 team could be embarrassed at home by a 1-AA squad and then ass-raped by an unranked PAC-10 school the following week, only one man can inspire them to stop sucking...
MAXIMUS: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Ann Arbor Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Bo Schembechler. Father to a murdered defense, husband to a murdered special teams unit. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
At my signal, unleash hell...and start making tackles, and stop throwing picks in the red zone, and quit getting field goals blocked, and giving up big plays, and making mental mistakes...
MAXIMUS: What you do in the Big House...echoes in eternity!
JOE PATERNO: The actor who became a friend of the coach. The friend who became a motivational speaker. The motivational speaker who inspired the team to start winning. Striking story! But now, college football fans want to know how the story ends. Only a stirring run to the Big 10 title will do. And what could be more glorious than to start that run by defeating Joe Pa himself and his Top 10 team in the great Big House?
MAXIMUS: You want to fight a resurgent Michigan team on its home turf?
JOE PATERNO: Why not? You think I'm afraid?
MAXIMUS: I think you've been afraid all your life. Or at least the last eight times you played Michigan.
JOE PATERNO: They put two seconds back on the clock! Two fucking seconds or that game in 2005 was mine, you son of a bitch!
BILL MARTIN: You will remove your Michigan hat and tell me your name.
MAXIMUS: My name is Motivator.