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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I'll take "None of the Above" for $100

The official Appalachian State website has a poll up regarding their game this weekend against Michigan. The "Coca-Cola Fan Poll" asks the following:

Which area will be most critical for the Mountaineers in the Sept. 1 football opener at Michigan?

A) ASU offense vs. U-M defense
B) ASU defense vs. U-M offense
C) Special Teams

"Most critical," as in what it will take for Appy State to win?

Now, while I admire their moxie, let's me honest, folks,: none of those answers should make a difference.

But, this being the MZone, we've come up with some other poll answers which they forgot to include that could actually turn the tide in ASU's favor...

D) Entire U-M team oversleeps
E) ASU has nude photos of Lloyd Carr and a group of young Asian boys
F) Instead of practicing this week, U-M forced to watch ASU Hot! Hot! Hot! video 24/7
G) The game is played in an alternate universe where U-M is a 1-AA team and ASU is winningest major college program of all time
H) Jim Herrrrmannnn returns to coach U-M defense
I) ASU comes out wearing OSU replica uniforms
J) Michigan fans forget to shake their keys thus negating the jet-like noise of the Michigan Stadium home field advantage.
K) King Leonidas comes back from the dead to QB the Mountaineers

If there are any I forgot, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

(HT: Dave)


j said...

L. The NCAA accidentally labels it a bowl game and Lloyd chokes.

TitleIX said...

off topic, a bit but just TOO RICH to pass up....

Intellectual genius Miss SC was on the Today Show this AM and GUESS which institution of higher education she plans on attending???
I am NOT kidding. She plans on attending Appy State and will study computer graphics/design so she can work in the movie industry.

Someone please find the clip from the Today Show as I am not savvy enough.

Killing My Liver said...

Ummm ..I think we all learned a lesson about pre game posts like this last year from Brian.

Out of Conference said...

Beat me to the punch T9, good job. App State has a chance if Miss Teen SC is allowed to speak to the Michigan football team in the lockerroom before the game. Everyone would be in a state of stupid pretty quick. Even Slocum's Fuck Lion would give up the ghost.

Yost said...

Thanks, T9!

beast in 'bama said...

Hart, Long, Manningham, Arrington, et. al. are mistakenly identified as Nazi spies by Lloyd Carr and executed at dawn Wednesday (see EDSBS - hilarious).

Matt said...

The actual game takes place in Mark May's head.

god of the whoppers said...

I just hope they can bounce back to take on Lenoir-Rhyne that next week. i hear they are really tough

John said...

Hmm, let's just say that Appalachian State hardly needs an Act of Congress to win...........Everyone beats UM these days as long as Carr is coaching.