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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Florida Jab at OSU #684-#686

Folks, we can't begin to tell you how much fun UF fans are having with OSU after beating them in back-to-back national title games. Below is just a sample of some of the things we've received over the last couple of weeks...

Florida President unsure of what to do with Ohio State

Gainesville Sun Staff Writer
April 4, 2007

GAINESVILLE – In the wake of Florida’s unprecedented dual championship victories over Ohio State, the University finds itself with a unique and somewhat perplexing problem.

What to do with Ohio State now that Florida owns it.

According to little known and never before used “Clause 121” of the NCAA charter, when a University defeats another member University for two consecutive national championship games by “convincing margins”, the defeated University becomes the sole property of the victor.

University of Florida President J. Bernard “Bernie” Machen readily admits that he was unaware of “Clause 121”, and is unsure of what to do with Ohio State. “They have, what is it, over 54,000 students? Plus, it’s in Columbus, Ohio. It is very inconvenient.”

The University of Florida Board of Trustees is holding an emergency meeting this Friday to deal with the unprecedented situation. According to sources on the Board, initial ideas include –

Sell It – The easiest move the Board might make is simply to sell Ohio State. However, due to the University’s size, and its location in the relatively depressed real estate market of central Ohio, it may be difficult to find a willing buyer. “We are looking into this option,” Machen says. “We have contacted the Solid Waste Authority of Central Ohio to see if they need more land.”

Keep It – This option has several difficulties, but may be the only one if Florida is unable to get a buyer for fair market value. Primary among the difficulties is the large student body population of Ohio State. However, sources on the Board did say since OSU’s student population is near Florida’s 50,000, there may be a situation where Ohio State students could be lent to Florida students on a semester by semester basis as personal valets.

Florida junior Kevin Young thinks the valet idea is just swell. “Everyone should have their own pet Buckeye,” said Young. “It would be like having your own personal fraternity pledge. I think the idea rocks!”

Were Florida to keep Ohio State, issues of whether to allow OSU to keep their current team name and mascot, as well as whether to allow them to continue to play in the Big Ten, would have to be resolved. Says Machen, “I think we could reach some sort agreement that would allow them to keep Brutus Buckeye and play in the Big 10. After all, what would we do – move them to the SEC? They would only get hurt. Since they are our wards now, we could never allow that.”

The prospect also exists that Florida would have to dissolve Ohio State athletics. In that case, the issue of what to do with the student athletes is uncertain. Florida football coach Urban Meyer, when approached with the prospect of having to absorb Ohio State’s football team, paused for a moment and said, “I suppose they could be a scout team for our scout team. They really aren’t fast enough for anything else.”

(HT: MF)

And then there's this picture by Mr2Cents on GatorCountry.com (HT: G8RB8R)...

Finally, let's not forget this one from Saurian SagaCity (HT: SiC)...


Out of Conference said...

What's digitized out in the Gator biting Buckeye arm off pic?

Out of Conference said...

By the way- Michigan better get while the getting is good- You just swept the Buckeyes in baseball in the weekend series to take the lead in the Big 10. You might not have another chance to post bragging rights on their board for a while. I'm just saying.

Meanwhile the Cocks, ala gorilla ball, just beat Clemson last night to make the series 3-0 for the year with 4 dingers.
Beast - glad to see your Horns more or less back on track after a slow start this season. Except for a few midweek slips, Texas is enfuego.

brianthomasbuckeye said...

Good thing the Buckeyes still own Michigan. LLLLLOYD still your coach?

Have fun in the NIT tournament?
Have fun getting crushed by USC after you "deserved a rematch"?

Jim Harbaugh Scramble said...

buckeye fans we know that tressel and your mighty buckeyes own michigan and LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLoyd Carr.

and since you own us we need to take
every opprotunity we can to make fun of our owners.

florida doesn't own us however we atleast beat them when we played them in a bowl game.

funny how michigan fans never said they owned OSU when cooper was the coach but now that osu has the edge with tressel, OSU owns michigan and michigan will never beat osu again etc.

and brian thomas buckeye we enjoyed getting crushed by USC as much as you enjoyed being crushed by flordia.

and michigan has enjoyed the NITs so much that they decided to get a new coach.

but then again good thing you still own michigan.

Jim Harbaugh Scramble said...

furthermore we UM fans are so obsessed with OSU that we need to troll on their blog comment boards, and have songs about we don't give a damn about the whole state of ohio, etc.

or wait is it the OSU fans that are obsessed with michigan and have the university homepage for a week proudly display that its "beat michigan week.

ohio_guy said...

you're so obsessed with Ohio State that there's an OSU related post here at least once a week. Ever noticed how long the "tOSU favorites" list is just as long as the "Best of the M-zone" list (maybe even longer)
If it wasn't for the continual OSU related material, we Buckeye fans wouldn't be here all the time.

You make a huge deal out of how we're obsessed with you, but face it, you're obsessed with us too. It's not like you don't have that "O-how-I-hate-Ohio-State" cheer or "O-S-who?" T-shirts.

We're obsessed with each other. If that were not the case, this would not be considered the best rivalry in college football.

steve g said...

Yeah, uhh, I don't have those shirts. I have a better one.

beast in 'bama said...

OOC: They were beaten by Rice on Tuesday, though. When your favorite team plays the alma mater, you get a little conflicted.

In football, it's easy. I just sit there and take it - just like when I was a student and 65K of OUR 72K stadium was wearing burnt orange. But in baseball, the Owls are competitive. I'm hoping they get in different regionals so that they can both go to Omaha again.

ohio_guy said...

either way, it further proves my point steve

Scott said...

"funny how michigan fans never said they owned OSU when cooper was the coach"


i think The Onion's hiring