Terror in Ann Arbor (aka "Hey, some chick's diddling herself on our couch!")

Yesterday, our "crack" investigative team here at the MZone blew the lid off the story of the female masturbator who blew the cushions off the couch at the U-M Pike house. That's because, as your #1 source for stories about random girls who show up at fraternities to pleasure themselves for (half) hours on end, we're all over this like the stains on that couch. And rest assured, we will continue to beat the living hell out of this story and over-do it like FOX NEWS' Greta Van Susteren covering the disappearance of a white chick.

As such, it should come as no surprise that we have more information to bring you today.

First off, reader NB sends us a couple of much better photos of the alleged Pike perp (via TotallyCrap.com) as she allegedly left their fraternity house last week.


Now, judging from this latest photo, if this is indeed her, it's becoming, uh...clearer...why the Pike brothers felt compelled to destroy their couches like a bunch of MSU students after midterms.

Furthermore, their reasoning for booting the girl out and calling the police is summed up in this response we received from a member of the house:

"As one of those michigan pikes, I'll say very quickly why we didnt 'join in' and tried to kick her out, i think i can sum it up in about two words: DUKE LACROSSE."

But our favorite picture is the larger, uncropped photo of the alleged Pike visitor from our post yesterday (also via TotallyCrap.com). As you can see, there is a young gentlemen - presumably a student, presumably from the Pike house - shown in the bottom corner...


Man, look at his face. Is that horror over what he just saw? Or disappointment at opportunity lost? We report, you decide (and let us know in the comments section).

Finally, in a shocking new twist to this story, the MZone has learned this isn't the first time something like this has happened at the Pike house in Ann Arbor. In fact, it's the third.

Last semester, a stray dog entered the house and the fraternity brothers who walked in on the animal were confronted by this...


Thankfully, unlike the story of the alleged E.M.U. woman last week, the dog only stayed 20 minutes, no furniture was lost and the pup, renamed "Bootsy," is now the official house mascot of the U-M Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity.

And though we are just finding out the details, there was what the Pikes simply refer to as "the monkey incident" during Rush Week in '05 when they discovered the following behind their house...


Sources are telling us that many attribute this incident to the Pike's less-than-steller pledge class of '05.

Ed. Note: There is no truth to the rumor that the monkey found out behind the Pike house was also an Eastern Michigan University student as well.

Stay tuned to the MZone for continuous, round the clock coverage as this story develops (or as we think of shit to keep us from working and help you to procrastinate).