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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

How a good gift becomes a GREAT gift

You're 14 years old. You tear open your uncle's gift on Christmas morning to find...

Madden NFL '07 for your new Xbox 360. Pretty cool. But a ton of kids got that. It's a very good gift but not a great gift.

Until you plop it in your game console.

Because instead of seeing some video game image of a pro football team, one Utah kid instead saw porn. Sweeeeeet! Now that is a Christmas present from ol' Uncle Dan!

Every kid on the block will be over the house to play with his gift!

"Guess what? I made Tom Brady throw a 62 yard touchdown on 4th and 21 on my new Madden game."

"Yeah? I saw Jenna Jameison take it up the ass during a three-way on mine."

This youngster is well on his way to becoming the most popular kid at school. So what does he go and do? Tell his parents who alert authorities, blah, blah, blah.

I don't think you need Madden to tell you, "Fuuuuuumble!"


Nice going, kid. Enjoy the "real" Madden. May you get stuck playing only the Lions on the replacement game Circuit City is sending.

Oh, and one more thing...

No wonder they call it the Xbox! And dare I say Merry X-mas! Thank you! Goodnight. I'll be here all week! Enjoy Mr. Anka.


Brian Buchalski said...

utah? guess i'm not surprised. wonder how many other "undiscovered" copies are out there.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

yep, out of all places, Utah! great. shit, they could've had madden drinking a cup of coffee and it woulda been taboo.

Out of Conference said...

I get the not-so-subtle image of Flanders' kids telling him about the evil images they saw. Meanwhile, Nelson punches said kid in the stomach for not sharing the porn and then lets out the usual, "Hyeah, Hyeah!"

ohio_guy said...

Oh...so it was just a porn disc put in a madden package. When I first heard about the story, I thought there was porn hidden in the actual game or something (which would have been a lot cooler)

Yost said...


Actually, that's not my understanding. It was on the Madden disk.

Casey S said...

That kid had to be pissed. $65 for some crappy porn that he's already seen on the internet 1000 times.... FOR FREE.

Wei said...

In its defense, the X-Box is the console where you get the, erm, well-made Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball franchise. They hardly needed the help of some (un?)fortunate kid in Utah to make their mark as the worldwide leader in video game porn.