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Saturday, January 06, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: MZone Pledges Support

So Benny and I just got this exclusive picture of a half-naked USC Song Girl. And we couldn't wait to share it with our readers. So instead of talking about it, allow is to just show you. It's definitely not safe for work and really is one of the most erotic things we've ever se--


STUFFY ANCHOR: We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for breaking news. We have just received word that, with the BCS National Championship game between Ohio State and Florida just days away, Yost - co-founder of the MZone - is about to announce the MZone's support for one of the two teams.

As you may know, Michigan fans have been torn about who to root for during the big game. Their hate of Ohio State runs deep. However, Urban Meyer's campaigning and perceived jabs at Michigan left many Wolverine fans with a sudden visceral dislike for the Gators. Debate has been raging on Wolverine blogs and message boards as to who U-M fans should back and--

Hold on. I'm getting word Yost is on the convention floor and is about to make his statement. We go there now live.

YOST: Ladies and gentlemen, college football fans, fellow bloggers. Wolverine fans have been faced with a difficult choice these last few weeks -- support our conference but in doing so, give comfort - and another national title - to our sworn Buckeye enemy. Or, support Florida, whose head coach left us seething with his politicking which probably cost our squad a BCS rematch.

During this time, Benny and I did much soul searching. We went back and forth. Who do we root for? To whom should the MZone pledge its support come Monday? I had personally rooted for Ohio State in the 2003 BCS title game against Miami...for about three quarters. Then I began to feel really dirty. Like a Vegas whore after the electronics convention leaves town. By the end of the fourth quarter, I was hoping they'd simply cancel overtime and call it a tie.

This year, I was going to put on fandom's six inch stilettos and fish net stockings to again attempt to root the Buckeyes. For selfish reasons. To prove to Urban, BCS voters and all of America that the wrong team was playing the Bucks in Glendale. That Michigan truly was the second best team in land.

I was going to do that, as painful as it would be, until my team got bent over the San Gabriel Mountains like that same Vegas whore during Charlie Sheen's bachelor party.

Thus, as a result of our thrashing in Rose Bowl, it is no longer possible for us to proclaim we got screwed out of BCS rematch. And as mere uninvolved fans now, while Florida may have been a temporary enemy, Ohio State is still a bigger permanent one. And the enemy of this enemy is our friend.

As such, the great site of the MZone pledges its rooting delegates to the University of Florida Gators, saving Benny and I the unsavory prospect of pulling for Ohio State on Monday.

My fellow Wolverines, our long national nightmare is now over...at least until the last two games of next season.


STUFFY ANCHOR: We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Man, can you believe that picture? Holy shit! How did she get her leg up there?!

54 comments:

Oh Yeah Baby said...

Wow. So much for sticking with your conference. Makes me wonder why I was pulling for Michigan?? Oh well. Maybe it shows your true colors aren't Maize and Blue. Instead they are GREEN and YELLA'.

MGOBLUE94 said...

If Florida wins ... that make Boise State the only UNDEFEATED TEAM in the LAND ... and therefore the MNC.

even if o$u does win ... Boise State is still undefeated and should share MNC with o$u

Doug said...

There are three things in the world you don't joke about: the Virgin Mary, Georgia's mascot, and naked Song Girls. You're really walking on thin ice here. Time to get right with Jesus, brah.

beast in 'bama said...

I'm surprised by your choice. This is nowhere near the magnitude of Boise St., but it took balls to make this public. You'll catch a lot of flack for this.

Florida definitely has enough athletes to hang in there. I'm just not sure they have enough football players.

If Florida does win, I'm betting it'll be due in large part to the efforts of Dallas Baker. If you haven't seen Florida much this year, he's the guy to watch.

Me? I'm neutral on this one - don't like either team. I just want a competitive game. Although I do HATES me some Gators...

Grizz said...

"Thus, as a result of our thrashing in Rose Bowl, it is no longer possible for us to proclaim we got screwed out of BCS rematch."

It isn't possible for us to claim that we're better than USC. But we still got screwed. Plain and simple.

Out of Conference said...

This championship game reminds me so much of last year's basketball season. The Cocks sweep UofF in the regular season, but lose a nail-biter in the SEC hoops tourney championship game. UofF gets a decent seed in the Big Dance and bring home the crown. Cocks assume our recently accustomed spot as the 66th best team in the country as NIT champs. This year, slightly similar story line. Cocks suffer through a blocked extra point and blocked FG in closing seconds to lose to UofF after torching them in Colatown last year. We got sent to crapola bowl and they're invited to Glendale. While (in BiB's words) I too, hates me some Gators, I just can't find myself rooting for OSU. I guess you can blame the MZone for me not being able to root for the Bucks.
Damn I wish the Cocks play the Buckeyes in something soon. I really enjoy having Blue on my side.
-Jim

Richard Cranium said...

Well hey seeing that article made me ashamed of myself and other Buckeye fans who were pulling for the wolverweenies during the Rose Bowl!! Go ahead and pull for Florida and come Monday night I will have the satisfaction that Michigan fans have been disappointed for a 3rd time this season.

Andy said...

So...where is the picture????

I said I was going to root for Ohio State...

1) I was sick of Gator trolls on this site
2) I was sick of SEC idiots claiming only their conference was best
3) I really don't like Urban

But after reading this and this I have decided to jump back into my normal (and comfortable) pattern of wishing nothing but pain and suffering for the buckeyes.

I still don't like Urban.

ShaunTX said...

Song girl - NOW!

Chadwick said...

It is a good thing the restriction on anonymous posting has not been lifted.

Out of Conference said...

By the way, who won the headline contest for the BSU headline?

Tim said...

I for one will be pulling for the Fucks, even though my hatred for them runs deep (as I am a Wolverine fan in the belly of the beast, i.e. Ohio). However I always roll with the Big 10 conference (my name's not Ron Zook) & I also would love to see the Big 10 go 3-0 against the SEC so maybe it'll quiet the bullshit about the SEC is such a great conference (we know it won't shut this shit up, but maybe it'll be slightly more quiet for the time being). Also I don't think Florida stands much of a shot in this game (as anyone who has seen them play this year agrees). However, I will probably do no cheering whatsoever during the game as I don't "love" either team.

Go Big Ten!

Zippy said...

I think CSI: Miami is new that night. Or maybe there is laundry to do instead of watching the insufferable force meet the unredeemable object in Glendale. Football is dead to me until Sptember next.

(Not really, but UM, CU, Denver, and Detroit peed all over my hopes for the postseason so screw everybody.)

Eric said...

Andy,

Wait, you're rooting for Florida because of two (well, really one) anti-Michigan article on a pro-Ohio State blog? Seriously?

The second article wasn't even anti-Michigan, all it said was that Jarrett bitch-slapped Michigan and should have been penalized twice. A three-year old could've deduced that.

Come on man, come up with a better reason... I mean, even "I'm rooting for UF because I hate Ohio State". That works - but basing the decision on a satirical article on a pro-Buckeyes site while expressing your thoughts on a pro-Michigan one - that just doesn't make sense.

P.S. I rooted for U of M in the Rose Bowl. And felt dirty for it. But still did it.

TitleIX said...

sorry guys, but I gotta pull a "Lieberman" on ya and withhold my vote on the convention floor.
I'm sticking with not rooting against tOSU.
Gotta be true to the conference no matter HOW much I hate the suckeyes. A homie is a homie...

great Photoshop tho, really....

mhentz said...

If you have to lose, you may as well lose to the champs instead of just another bunch of also-rans. Go Bucks.

IC said...

"ic's mom's basement; home of the tattered couch and mini-fridge; and proud displayer of some of the hottest Jessica Alba posters in the entire blogosphere is proud to send all one of its delegate of support to--the Florida Gators!"

Before the Rose Bowl I expected to cheer for tOSU, reasoning that if both Michigan and Florida won, I'd be nagged by thoughts that we could have also defeated the Buckeyes. But we got trounced, opening the floodgates for my petty desires that tOSU be denied the title and, like Michigan, spend the next eight months coming off a loss.

Re. cheering for the Big Ten: I've never really followed this too much, but when I do it's almost always to support teams that don't pose a real threat to Michigan. Sadly, that is how the Wolverines are increasingly perceived by tOSU fans, which is why they felt comforatable pulling for us in the Rose Bowl.

Andy said...

Eric:

You are correct, it is a pretty flimsy reason. In reality my buckeye support was Nicole Richie-thin at best. After the Rose Bowl, those other blogs just gave the reason I was looking for. At this point, I am in a no lose situation.

1) Ohio State wins. The Big 10 goes 3-0 against the SEC and I giggle at every toothless gomer in the southeastern part of the US making the claim that the SEC is the superior conference.

2) Florida wins. I am spared the agony of seeing a Ohio State National Champions T-shirt on every janitor I see as I walk through the nation’s airports this year.

Henry Gomez said...

MGOBLUE94,

Here's a better Idea. WHy don't we make 119 trophies so that every team in Div. 1A can be the "champion"?

Give me a break.

Gator1377 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Eric said...

Andy,

I feel your pain. I interned in Houston the last two summers, only to watch Texas beat the Buckeyes and every janitor wearing a Longhorns NC shirt. But in the UT-USC game last year, I still rooted for Texas. As you said, it's better to be beaten by the best instead of an also-ran.

And you know, the second UF would beat OSU, the SEC crackheads would completely forget about Arkansas and Tennessee each getting their asses handed to them, a la the Big 10. Along with every talking head in the sports world.

I know you hate the Bucks, but you have to root for us for that reason alone.

Yost said...

LOL, Doug. Yeah, I knew we might have crossed the line teasing readers with that one.

Out of Conf, much like college football itself, there is in official winner of the headline contest decided on the field. You are all winners, just having participated.

Christ, I almost threw up in my mouth just writing that shit.

Andy said...

Doug. Yeah, I knew we might have crossed the line teasing readers with that one.

For those of you that missed the last couple comments on the USC Song Girl post...

I can't allow this to go on

Sorry Yost.

Yost said...

Sweet Jesus, Andy. Are those undoctored?

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Andy said...

Yes Yost. Directly from my camera to your monitor.

See the rest of my GAME shots....

TitleIX said...

Andy...
YOU DOG!!!!!
how could you publish such a photo???
They both have underwear on and
the poor girl on the left has a RUN in her stocking for god's sake..... ;-)


luv ya!

Yost said...

Andy,

Such good pictures, they almost made me forget we got smoked, lol!

Might have to post that song girl pic if you don't mind.

TitleIX said...

ok--upon further review, the above call is corrected....
there is indisputable photographic evidence that the Song Girls are, in fact, NOT wearing underwear and the white fabric is either part of a leotard or, a liner for their skirts.....

trust me.
the white thingys are OVER the pantihose....

Andy said...

As always, I am just happy to contribute.

Most of the game shots were taken during the 1st half. I spent the 2nd half quietly cursing Morgan Trent.

Pants McPants said...

All of this talk about "choosing" who you wil root for...You don't choose anything, it chooses you...

You turn on the game, and it happens, no amount of willpower will change it...

So make your plans, UM fans, but realize when you see that first Gator chomp and trash talking Florida Gator player, you just may "feel" yourself hoping for a Troy Smith to Ted Ginn bomb to shut them the hell up...

Remember, you can always shower afterwards...though you may never feel clean...

Out of Conference said...

Eric - what Arky - Big Ten game were you referring? You mean the one with Wisky that had a pretty exciting finish,or the one in your head? I admit UT put up a pretty pathetic effort against PSU and but a fumble return decided the game. Yes, Wisconsin did play a complete game and not just at the end, but hearing a Buckeye fan brag about Big Ten wins against the SEC in bowl games makes me giggle like a little girl in Sunday school.
-Jim

MGoBlue93 said...

Gotta agree with t9 on this one... gotta keep it in conference.

I guess for me it's a matter of who sucks less. And Urban Meyer's crying trumps sweater vest any day of the week.

That and I'm so FUCKING sick and tired of SEC fan claiming they are the best conference in the land.

Yes, Auburn, LSU, and Florida are great teams but there is no way in HELL that Ole Miss, Bama, Miss State, SC, Kentucky, Vandy are head and shoulders better than better than Iowa, Rutgers, or Oregon State.

Every conference has a couple of elite teams, a few middle of the road teams, and then the bottom feeders who graduate their students. And when UF decides to actually leave the state out of conference maybe that "but you have to play our schedule to realize..." rant will actually be halfway believable.

GO BLUE!

Yost said...

lol, PMcP!

beast in 'bama said...

Great wisdom there is in the words of the Pantsed one. Zen.

Andy, I saw those photos on your late responses to the Song Girl post two days ago - outstanding, sir! You (and your zoom lens) are the hero of us all.

Charlie Bauman's Sore Face said...

Come on guys, cheer for conference.

Both schools are coached by world class douche bags, but this year Meyer out douched Tressel with his shameless pimping of his program.

The SEC talks too much shit. Wisconsin and PSU made the Big-10 look good, and as much as I hate to inflate the already chronically fat heads in Columbus, I give the nod to Tosu. What a dirty feeling.

MaliBuckeye said...

Well, I for one was cheering begrudgingly for Big Blue in the Rose Bowl, for the following reasons:

1) Always cheer in conference during the Bowls. "Bros before Hos", as it were.

1a) If conflicted about #1, do so for no other reason than the stupid "bowl challenge" that ESPN created. Who gives a crap if the Big East is 4-0 in their games? They collectively beat the worst ACC Champion in history, a 7-6 C-USA team, a Georgia Tech team with no defense and a back-up QB, and the third team from the Big 12 North. Oh, and they have one more game to play, against the #3 MAC team. Whoop de freaking do.

Ahem.

2) USC fans are the most obnoxious bandwagon groupies on the planet. They disappeared after the Oregon State loss, reappeared for UCLA week, and disappeared until the beginning of the fourth quarter on the 1st.

3) Gerald Ford.

To me, it's like others have said… would you have rather lost on the road by three points to the eventual national champions, or to a top 5 school? (I can easily imagine BSU, USC, and even LSU jumping in a tOSU loss)

So, while I'm not surprised by M-Zone's decision, I'm also not concerned. Your ability to choose the winning side of your last two games is a bit tainted.

As were Andy's great photos. :)

MGoBlue93 said...

Andy... I checked out your home page. Nice shots of the team. How come the Song Girls are absent from the page?

Jim said...

I know I'll get torched for this, but I've never understood the "root for the conference" thing. IMHO, the only reason to root for conference foes is to make your wins look better.

That said, I just can't root for OSU--for completely selfish reasons. Frickin' Sarasota is like Columbus-South. I am *completely* surrounded by bunkeyes down here, and I cannot bear watching them strut around after a win. Can't do it.

Go Gators.

2 TE's and a balanced line said...

I have to agree with Jim. Only for the reason that UM got beat by USC,though. If they beat USC, I was hoping OSU would beat the hell out of UF so it would make sense for UM to be there instead. And I could never wash the feeling of rooting for tOSU off, the stench would be permanent.

Go Gators!

kurterle said...

In the 1973 Rose Bowl, USC beat Ohio State 42-17, searing into my young impressionable brain an undying hatred for SoCal. Over the years, you learn certain rules about who you root for or against when your team is not playing:
1. Always root against USC, UCLA, and Notre Dame.
2. Root against teams with stupid gimmicks, like the stupid blue field, dopey fake Indians, and stupid band uniforms, like USC.
3. Always, always root for your conference.
So we serious Buckeye fans pulled hard for Michigan in the Rose Bowl and got slapped around hard. But that’s OK – you guys deserved it and needed it. You were good this year, you gave us a darn good game, and you were playing USC.
And what do we get? Throwing your support to Florida? What a bunch of pathetic, confused, disloyal screwed up losers.

zac said...

Good lord. How can anyone with a brain think that Boise State with just one quality win (via trick plays) over an OU team that is down this year, with a WR playing QB, and won a weak Big 12 can make any claim to the national championship? Idiotic... I cant even read the rest. For the Buckeye haters, too bad you're going to have to deal with another National Championship for The Ohio State University.

Tom said...

I swore after Michigan’s awful loss to Nebraska last year that I would never root for the Wolverines in a bowl game ever again. That lasted about a week. It's safe to say that Big 10 fans should pull for their conference. However, if there is a team that Buckeye fans have learned to hate almost as much, its the USC Trojans. I sided with Michigan (and the Big 10), hoping that you Wolverines would pulverize USC, and like an idiot, I was burned once again by you guys. If OSU fans like me can find a way to root for you every bowl season, the least you can do is give us a little love against Florida!

BlueInPA said...

Disappointing decision. Always root for your conference.

Out of Conference said...

For what it's worth, a lot of UGA, UofF, and SC fans were rooting for PSU against UT. Probably Bama and Auburn fans as well. I'm guessing it was for a couple reasons;
1. Enjoy seeing Fat Fulmer (and the rest of hillbilly nation) fall on their faces
2. Strong conference rivalries against UT
So while we would have been the first with "SEC rules" posts if UT and Arky kept up their obligations, we really don't mind seeing UT lose. I bet regardless of what folks here post, I bet it's similar in Big 10 fans with regards to OSU/Tressel.

By the way, thanks for not flaming me for my post reply to Eric that wasn't intended to try to take the wind out of PSU and Wisky sails in their bowl wins. Arky and UT played liked serious crap, but you have to credit their opponents for that. Good job Badgers & Lions.

Jim said...

So let me get this straight, you beat Michigan, went undefeated, and you're playing for a national championship and you can still find the time to complain that (some) fans of your arch-rival aren't rooting for you? I'm sorry but that's unbearably whiney.

There are programs, coaches and players that I can see getting behind individually, but I've yet to hear a decent reason for rooting for in-conference foes (aside from strength of schedule). I've heard a bunch of "Because you should"s, but that reasoning is a little Cowherd-ian for me.

Go Gators.

Charlie Bauman's Sore Face said...

"I know I'll get torched for this, but I've never understood the "root for the conference" thing."

What is confusing?

A team is measured by the quality of the teams it plays. In a conference, a majority a team's games are against conference opponents. If the conference is perceived to suck, wins against conference opponents are perceived as meaningless.

Tosu winning makes Michigan look better (although not much better after the USC debacle). Sort of elementary (or so I thought)

Jim said...

Charlie,

You're quoting a little selectively, aren't you?

"I know I'll get torched for this, but I've never understood the 'root for the conference' thing. IMHO, the only reason to root for conference foes is to make your wins look better."

Obviously I get the 'perceived strength of schedule' thing. That's just not how it's usually presented--it's usually more of a 'band-of-brothers' thing. *That's* what I don't get.

After our torching in the RB, it's a bit of a hollow point anyway.

srudoff said...

wait,

you guys pulled for UM in The Game...

pulled for UM in the Rose Bowl...

and now are pulling for UF in the NCG?

thanks!

:)

Oh Yeah Baby said...

srudoff:

My sentiments exactly!! ha ha

Brian Buchalski said...

for me it's not really a matter of "rooting" or "lending support" since i probably won't even watch the game (monday night...wtf!) but i would like to see the buckeyes win because it supports my assertion that the national championship was settled in columbus on november 18th.

regardless of what happens in the title game i firmly believe that having the strongest possible versions of both the wolverines & the buckeyes battleing each other—every november—is in the best interests of both teams. the intensity of this year's game was awesome and i could only wish that we have more #1 vs. #2 matchups in the future.

in fact, i hope the buckeyes soundly defeat the gators by 2-3 touchdowns then michigan's 3 point loss in columbus would be pretty respectable.

of course, many might argue that southern cal would still be better than michigan...but as to how they would fare against ohio state? well, that's just conjecture and frankly their 11-2 record (with losses to oregon st & ucla) wouldn't stand up very well against the buckeyes 13-0 mark.

in other words, i just hope that the buckeyes deliver the coup de grĂ¢ce on this season like champions.

semperfibuck said...

Reading the teaser I was confident that you would root for the Buckeyes, being good B11 peeps. But oh no, you show that you can have a funny and interesting blog, but still be classless. Since you got beaten badly by USC, and rooting for FL to beat the Buckeyes, that would make Michigan perhaps the 21st best team in the country. With a bunch of losers (labeled heroes by the M&B faithful) returns for a 4th consecutive beaitng by the Buckeyes! But I will still root for you (unfulfilled) in bowl games. When does your bowl record start being mentioned with that of Notre Dame?

OSURulz said...

I completely understand. There is no way I could root for UM to win a national championship, no matter how much "conference pride" is on the line.

Don't worry about us. With or without your support we're going to win the NC and show the world that the SEC is in fact the Big10's biotch. Then you will be able to ride our coat tails into next season.

BARman said...

Yost/Benny--you guys get it right most of the time but this makes no sense. A tOSU win is better for Michigan in numerous ways--most of which have been mentioned on this thread.

However, PMcP also made a very astute point about these things.

So, tough as it may be...

(*gulp*) Go BUCKS! (gack!)

Sundawg said...

I supported all the SEC teams in their bowl games (yes, even Fat Phil) but when it comes to Florida, man, just say NO! Urban Cryer barely got thru the season one loss, beating mighty South Carolina by a point, a restructured Georgia by a touch. God, it they don't get waxed tomorrow night, there is no justice in this world.

Should they win, anticipate pestilence and plagues of locusts, at a minimum.