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Friday, December 08, 2006

Mike Price to ASU? Maybe this will make the decision easier

UTEP (and former Alabama-for-like-a-day) coach Mike Price is rumored to be one of the leading candidates to take over at Arizona State. As reader Devil Grad pointed out to us in an e-mail, there couldn't be a more perfect match of coach and university.

In an effort to help Mr. Price with the decision of whether to pursue the ASU job, we're providing a list of the closest "Gentlemen's Clubs" to the Tempe campus. And with the help of Google Earth, we've even provided a map (click on it to see a bigger version):

A. Bombshell's Cabaret Gentleman's Club - How can you beat $10 lap dances?

B. Elite Cabaret Gentleman's Club - the closest one to campus which is good for the access to cheerleaders, but could be bad for your reputation.

C. Sonny's Bar and Gentleman's Club - well off the beaten path in Chandler, it's a more desirable destination for discreet encounters, though may require a hotel and we know how that worked out last time.

G. Christie's Cabaret - closest one to the airport which could come in handy in case another quick exit out of town is required.

H. Suede Restaurant and Lounge - near a number of hotels; just be sure not to let any of the ladies you invite back with you to order room service.

I. Band Aids Show Lounge - I don't know why they'd be wearing Band Aids so you might want to stay away from this one - unless you lose to Arizona becuase then it might be the only one that lets you in.

Oh, and if that doesn't convince you, Mike, may we introduce you to former ASU cheerleader Courtney Cox...


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

though with ASU would probably pay him, he could probably dish out more than $10 for a lap dance...though he's the type who'd pay for a dance just to talk. no dance, he'd just want conversation.

Yost said...

Ah, the oldest angle in the strip club book, ZLS -- I'm not like the other guys in here, I really just care about you. I want to get to know you. As a person.

I mean, you know, that's what I've heard. From other people.

Anonymous said...

Uh, wouldn't it be "larger" version?

Harvard of the west?

beast in 'bama said...

If you're ASU, it's a simple question of economics: Are there enough strippers in the area to meet the increased demand?

It might still be rollin' baby!!!

Jim said...

Um, yeah, I'm with Yost - I have no experience to base my knowledge on, but I think they wear pasties in Tempe/Phoenix. Mikey don't likee.

Anonymous said...

Good News! There's another Christie's close to campus also on Baseline Rd at I-10.

Unfortunately though, Suede is an actual lounge/restaurant/nightclub...no actual naked women...unless you include the typical scantily clad scottsdale ho's

Anonymous said...

The AD at ASU is a lady named "Lisa Love." No kidding...

TitleIX said...

Here's to the ASU Women of Genius,
You tanned, semi-naked, dancers of the nite.
Making tuition money while dancing for the destitute, or those on business expense accounts.

Dance on you Xenas.
To the law bar, to the board rooms, and beyond.

Here's to the ASU Women of Genius---maken'em pay for what you would have given away for free, had they just asked.

SUCKERS!!!! ;-)

Anonymous said...

That list of strip clubs is amazingly un-comprehensive.

Anonymous said...

Mikey should hold out for the UA job...$5 a dance totally nude...and yes they are UA coeds...

Anonymous said...

The best bet for Mikey would be the Dream Palace on Scottsdale Road, across the river from Sun Devil Stadium. HOT chicks including plenty of coeds, right next to the freeway, and probably a 5 minute cab ride to the airport. Oh, and there's no pasty laws anywhere in the valley.

True story! A friend of mine was kicked out of Band Aids for loudly and drunkedly pointing out one of the dancer's "zitty ass."