Rants, comments, thoughts and funny - mostly funny - on all things Michigan and college football.

If you have ideas, tips, links or pictures for the blog, e-mail us at: MichiganZone at gmail dot com.

Thanks for checking out the M Zone. And if you enjoy the site, please pass the link on to a friend or two. We'd sure appreciate it.

Twitter: @MZoneBlog


Best Of Tat and Tresselgate

M Zone Videos

Best Of MZone 2.0

Best Of The Original MZone

Tosu Favorites

MZone Archive

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Help Wanted

Man, I realize they're having a tough time filling the coaching slot at 'Bama but I didn't know things were this desperate in Tuscaloosa. Craigslist? How...sad.

Click on the listing below for a larger view.


Crabapple Buck said...

Desperate times demand desperate measures. After listening to an Alabama fan at a Christmas party Friday night tell me they had 12 (Bammer math) NC, I know they won't be hiring anyone soon. Obviously they fired Shula without a plan for a replacement. I predict interim coach Joe Kines will become permanent so they don't get embarrassed again.

I can never understand why, after the success of Jim Tressel, more schools don't go after guys like Paul Johnson at Navy. He won 2 titles at Georgia Southern and is successful at Navy also. You guys had it pegged awhile back when you said they rehired Bear Bryant.

Jim said...

I read yesterday late that they've hired a new coach
(or click my name).

Crabapple - you're right about firing Shula withuot a plan. Their AD is a freaking idiot and arrogant son of a bitch and Bryant's son that pushed to have Shula fired should be asked not to have contact with the school for a year. Bama is so freaking arrogant, they did fire Shula without a plan because they thought for sure Spurrier or Saban would just at the slightest oportunity to coach at their fine institution. Spurrier stays (even without the raise from SoCar, but gets one anyway just because of rumors. Saban says he wouldn't go to Bama even if the Dolphins don't want him back next year. RR played the money trick. Petrino already said no. I've asked them to quit calling me because I'm not interested either. Arrogant pricks think that they lure anyone just with the mention of an opening at that freaking trailer park of a school. The rest of the SEC is really enjoying the soap opera that is the University of Alabama, meanwhile we're all (and OOC schools as well) plundering their verbal commits. Talk about kicking a man when he's down- HA, I freaking love it.

Anonymous said...

I'm hearing that they are even talking about going after Barry Switzer!!!! It's appropriate... he and the Bear came from similar places in Arrrr-kannnn-sawwwww.

Anonymous said...

Just wondering, but what make Michigan better than Alabama?

Anonymous said...

I've been a Crimson Tide fan for almost 30 years. And I have lived outside of the state for almost all of them. The school and the fans are all nuts. Shula deserved another year. He had some obvious shortcomings, but he deserved another year. The people there are all arrogant and think all coaches will fall all over themselves to get this job. They live in a fantasy world.
Another candidate that I like is Jeff Bower of Southern Miss. That team never has any talent, yet they almost always contend for the Conf USA title. And he's ballsy.
Roll Tide!

Jim said...

I'm with you anon 8:31 - here at SoCarolina we've been lucky(?) to land a couple marquee (some would say past their prime) names, but Bama has the fan base to draw some serious recruits just by being Bama (not as usual for SoCarolina prior to Holtz & Spurrier), so while the Cocks need a couple big names to hopefully jump start the program, an up and coming guy from a mid-major program with smarts and who will eat some hog ass and rice with fans during tail-gating is exactly what Bama needs. I kept reading many Bama posters saying things like, "Just wait, we've got our man lined up but we're not saying until after he's done with his bowl game." Then RR declined and I haven't seen those posts anymore- who knows. Weirder things have happened... ie BC coach to NC State... wtf?

Anonymous said...

You still haven't anwsered the question, what makes Michigan better than Alabama? You are going to have the crazy fans, Trustees, etc.. at every school. But what makes one school better than another?

Yost said...

Oh, that's easy, Anon:

We have a coach.

beast in 'bama said...

You've nailed it, Yost, especially the part about secretaries (no pun intended).

When the Dubose sex scandal first broke, they were ready to barbecue him. After he beat Florida in 1999, they joked that they were going to let him start dating again!

Late last week, NOTHING was more entertaining than sports talk radio in Birmingham. Now, even they're bored with it all. I'm glad I've been out of the state all week on business.

Can you imagine a job where you're throwing around the figure of 2 MILLION dollars per year without blinking - and nobody wants it??? If that doesn't sum up this situation, I don't know what does.

Anonymous said...

Yost, is that the best you can come of with. People like you that have no intelligence make other football programs look just as bad as Alabama is looking right now. Thanks for all of those facts. Good job. YOU IDIOT.

Anonymous said...

It's not that no one want's the Alabama job. It's the type of coach that Alabama is looking for is a rare bunch. They want a proven winner, most proven winners are currently somewhere winning so they don't want to leave. They went after Spurrier, Saban, and Rodriguez. How many schools do you think those three would have just said "Honey, pack your shit. We're moveing." for. I think it's not that no one wants the bama job, the bar for the kind of coach they want is set a bit too high at this point.

Yost said...

Anon 12:51,

So glad I could help. Thanks for reading. And Happy Holidays.

Jim said...

Yost - if you're an idiot, just who the hell wrote all the good shit on this site? I demand to know the truth.

Since Yost is an idiot, Anon 12:51, I'll tell you another reason why Michigan is better than Bama. Michigan didn't lose to Mississippi State this year. Not Miss State, not the Bulldogs, tell me it ain't so. Damn.

I saw a spoof somewhere of Mal Moore at a Build-A-Bear workshop in the mall. You know that shit is funny.

College Bob said...


Merry Christmas to you too!

Great post!

Rolaids, Tums, Prevacid and Mylanta are all sold out down here! I hate to see the Bammers suffer so much, but I do enjoy it so!

War Eagle!

Anonymous said...

"Just wondering, but what make Michigan better than Alabama?"

If we told our secret, we'd lose our edge on you guys. But I'll give you a hint: it starts with our grammar. Reading is fundamental!

Joe said...

A lot of Bamma fans are nuts. They live in the past glory of 12 national titles and 21 SEC titles (they should be proud..sure). But just don't realize that Bama , and college football, has changed.

I'm not sure that Mal Moore is having a hard time finding a coach as much as he is waiting for the bowl games and the NFL games to finish up and see who's out there.

Nothing wrong with waiting for a while to make sure you get a quality guy.

I love Bama football. But, we the fans, have GOT to be more patient and realize it will take time to build a program that can compete for a national title or the SEC. The tools are there, we did go 10-2 and win the Cotton Bowl last year. But, we just got to give the new guy a chance to build it back up.

Anonymous said...

"You still haven't anwsered the question, what makes Michigan better than Alabama? You are going to have the crazy fans, Trustees, etc.. at every school. But what makes one school better than another?"

Academics, baby, academics. Stop trolling.

js said...

I think what makes Michigan better (and I'm sure most Bama fans would agree) is that Michigan's AD is doing a better job than Alabama's AD.

Anonymous said...

Top ten things that make Michigan better than Bammer:

10. Vandy only gives Michigan a scare every now and then, not every year.

9. Michigan did not go 2-6 in conference.

8. Michigan has a winning record.

7. Paul Jr.

6. Mal Moore

5. Michigan fans capable of subject-verb agreement and correct use of homophones.

4. Michigan does not claim a national championship from a year that they finished 3rd in the conference and 20th in the AP poll.

3. Michigan's conference can't count (Big 11) but bammer's college can't count (12 national championships.) Conferences aren't considered institutions of "higher learning."

2. This year, bammer is singing about the Rose Bowl and Michigan is going there.

1. Michigan has beaten their in-state rival in the last 5 years. Bammer is Auburn's beeyatch.

Jim said...

There are some things Bama is better than Michigan at, and all you arrogant yankee pricks need to realize that.

1. Prom Dates - When you take your sister to the prom, you're feeling pretty damn good about your chances to get some stink on the ole hang low because you damn well know she's coming home with you.

2. Car Repairs - OK, we all admit it would be pretty damn handy to prop the ole '78 Cutlass up on blocks in the front yard to change the oil. In Bama, you don't have to worry about the neighbors getting pissed if you decide to leave it up there for 10 or 12 years.

3. College Degrees - In Bama, you don't have to worry about being pressured by your parents and peers to get a degree. Hell, in Bama they call you uppity, not a real fan, and quit talking to you Sunday school if you get a degree.

4. Father-Son Relationships - Nothing like getting to really know your ole man when you're walking home from school together and he even let's you carry his books.

5. Deep Fried Twinkies - 'nuff said.

6. Picking an elephant as your mascot - you've never seen a wolverine or tiger kick an elephant's ass on YouTube.

7. Potato Salad - it doesn't matter if it's a funeral, a wedding, or little Sally's having her 8th kid- you got to get your hair fixed up at Nance's Beauty Parlor and take over a bowl of potato salad.

8. Gun racks and bumper stickers that say, "This truck protected by Smith & Wesson"

9. Fixin' - Every August, Bammers know they are fixin' to win the national title.

10. Mississippi - Not every state has the claim to fame above the fray of, "Thank God we ain't Mississippi."

Anonymous said...

As a Bama fan I enjoyed alot of the humor here. Its amazing how dumb people at a univeristy can be. They gave Shula a raise then throw him out the door - sure Shula may miss the pressure of coaching at Alabama, but that $63,000 a month well help to soothe those pains away. Fire Mal Moore - tell "Bear" Jr. "if you can't coach like your dad then get the heck out of here" and lets get into the present time. Bryant is dead and so is Alabama football. Go Blue beat USC!!!

MGoBlue93 said...

It's not that no one want's the Alabama job.

Anon 1:00 pm

Hell yes it is. Bama and Miami are in the same boat. That's why Miami had to react quick and promote an assistant... recruiting damage control.

No coach in their right mind wants to go to a school with boosters like Bama. I'll be absolutely floored if Sabin, and Sabin has a hard-on for college football, forsakes the Fins for the Tide.

Anonymous said...

Look at the guys who turned the job down. Steve Spurrier and Rich Rodriguez. They both really considered it and they arent exactly the scrubs of the coaching world. Bama has all the tools to win and coaches see that. They have great facilities, fan support, recruiting base, money, and a pretty talented team already.

Jim said...

Anon 11:54 - you're right. I think it's laughable now because of the way Mal Moore proceeded with this whole thing. If they had Spurrier, Saban, RR, or someone else lined up with a soft agreement in place, then if firing Shula was was they wanted, at least they had a good plan for a change at HC. But they didn;t have any soft agreements, or handshakes in place (at least it doesn't appear so). They just assumed that Bama prestige, SEC coaching spot, great recruiting would entice anyone they wanted, so why make a prior deal. That arrogance is what is laughable.

Maybe they'll their man. Today Auburn fans here at work think Saban has hand-shake agreed to 10 years, $40 million, so who knows.