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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Well, it's a start...kinda

Short of hearing that John Cooper is returning to the Buckeye sidelines next week, Michigan fans heading to Fallujah Columbus for The Game (such as Benny and I) got the best news we could hope for: convenience stores around the OSU campus have agreed to stop selling beer in bottles until the end of the school year.

Director of off-campus student services, Willie Young, said he sought the ban because of safety concerns, including "problems with students throwing bottles at police." (And if Willie had ever been to a Michigan-OSU game wearing maize and blue, I'm pretty sure he would have added Wolverine fans as well).

According to Young, "Beer bottles are lethal weapons when thrown empty, and cans don't hurt you, empty." (Pure genius, Willie. Of course someone who's enough of a douche bag to throw a beer bottle with the intent to injure would never even consider throwing an unopened can of beer).

Adding to a list of shit we couldn't make up if we tried, Young noted the ban only applies to domestic beer saying, "Our students drink cheap beer, so the foreign beers are not a problem. You never see those bottles in the neighborhood." (Plus, everybody knows getting hit in the head with a Heinie barely even hurts).

Unfortunately, we have our doubts as to whether Young's plan will work. That's because the MZone has secretly obtained a picture of Buck fans working overtime to make sure that, despite the bottle ban, they'll still have something to throw at Michigan fans next week. Something in a can that will still leave a mark.

Memo to Willie: Never doubt the ingenuity of Buckeye fans when it comes to throwing shit outside the 'Shoe.

HT: Big Will


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

do they make 40s in cans?

Brad said...

Can you imagine drinking that much Milwaukee's Best? I'd throw it too.

Anonymous said...

Only at Ohio State do they have to do this. How pathetic is that?

boomstick aka Shop Smart, Shop S-mart said...

Do you really think a To$u student would throw a full beer? Obviously those fuckers are cheap, or they would have sprung for out of state tuition to get the hell out of there.

BaggyPantsDevil said...

I can't believe you guys missed this interesting coincidence. The woman mentioned at the end of the article, Barbara Rich, assistant vice president for student affairs, was one of three people--her husband and a Battalion Fire Chief were the two others--run over by Ohio State student and cheerleader George Karadimas during the Night o' Burning Couches and Dumpsters after Ohio State beat Texas earlier this year.

Anonymous said...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Jodi Andes
City, OSU prep for The Game

As Ohio State football fans count down to the Michigan game, city and university officials are gearing up for crowd control.

They plan to make this year’s postgame different from 2002, when the Buckeyes also went undefeated and there were riots after the Michigan game.

Last night, Columbus City Council members were given details on how city and university officials plan to combat problems.

In 2002, drunken fans set cars and couches afire and continued causing problems until early that Sunday morning.

This year, trash collectors will go out three times the week of the game to clean out Dumpsters and garbage cans of anything that could be used for fires the night of the Nov. 18 match-up, Public Service Director Henry Guzman said.

"We’re going to use a police escort, so to speak," Guzman said.

Cars blocking trash bins, for example, will be towed.

And unlike 2002, trash collectors will be asked to keep an eye out for any homes with couches on the porches, Guzman said.

If trash collectors spot a couch, they are asked to call code-enforcement officers. More than 200 citations have been issued since a citywide ban on porch couches began 17 months ago, said Development Director Mark Barbash.

The crackdown on open containers that started on campus after the 2002 riots will be enforced just as heavily off campus the weekend of the game, Safety Director Mitchell Brown said.

And there will be a ban on parking on some of the city streets where problems have been particularly bad, he said.

Details on which streets will be prohibited for parking will be announced next week, Brown said.

The enforcement is being coupled with public-service announcements from some of Columbus’ notable public figures, said Dawn Tyler Lee, of the university government liaison office.

Heisman Trophy winner Archie Griffin, Mayor Michael B. Coleman and Ohio State University President Karen A. Holbrook will encourage Buckeyes to be the "best fans in the land."

"Cheer for the team, not against the opponent," Griffin says in recorded messages that will start airing soon.

harry hasselhoff said...

If you're going to make a giant, hand-painted beer can, why would you spend the time to make a can of the beast - a natty light can would look so much cooler rolling down a street in Columbus with Michigan fans running in terror in front of it like Indiana Jones running from that giant boulder.

Anonymous said...

They are cutting down on porch couches. How hilarious is that. It should be preceeded with you know you're a redneck when...

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:14 - you beat me to the punch, well played.

Wolver-Marine said...

I am here in Fallujah and I bet I AM safer than if I was in Columbus on the 18th.
There are a few Buckeye fans in the Battalion so I will not take off my flak & kevlar the whole day!

TitleIX said...

hey wolver-marine in Falluja!
you stay safe over there, ya here!?

Andy said...

Semper Fi !!!

WhiteDawg said...

Be safe next weekend. I am a huge Buckeye fan but can't say I support the action of some of the other idiot buckeye fans. They literally leave a black eye on the game. But aren't there some idiot fans from every team?

Yost said...

Indeed there are, Whitedawg.