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Friday, November 03, 2006

Republicans, MZone snipe as election nears

WASHINGTON (from MZone wire reports) - Growth in productivity skidded to a standstill during the late summer in the United States and many Republicans are blaming the MZone just days before the mid-term elections.

The latest data reveals productivity, the amount of output per hour of work, showed no growth at all from July through September. Growth was just 1.3 percent over the past 12 months, the weakest showing in nine years. And that 12 month time frame, Republicans are quick to point out, just happens to coincide with the start of the college football website, MichiganZone.net.

"The MZone is soft on productivity," said Sen. Rick Santorum at a campaign stop outside Philadelphia. The Pennsylvannia Republican, locked in a tight re-election race, has already shot ads blasting the MZone. In the spots, set to air the final weekend of the campaign, Santorum claims the MZone is run by a bunch of "cut and runners" who "start things like the Blog Co-ed Showdown but never finish. They suck you into this blog but don't follow through. And that's not good for America."

The latest controversy was further inflamed when MZone co-editor-in-chief Benny Friedman, spoke to a group of college students Monday and said, "You know education, if you make the most of it, and you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck going to Ohio State."

After initial outcry over his remarks, Friedman apologized for what he claims was merely a "botched joke."

"That's why I do all the Photoshop stuff on the site," said Friedman. "I'm not real good with words and stuff."

While this had nothing to do with productivity, the war in Iraq or any other issue of importance, sensing a great sound bite that would make for easy talk show fodder, Republicans were quick to pounce.

Speaking at a rally in Georgia, President Bush said Benny's comments were "insulting" and "shameful" to Buckeyes across America. "The Buckeye Nation are plenty smart for people who aren't too bright, and plenty brave when they're drunk and outnumber Wolverines on Lane Avenue 10,000 to one. And that blogger from the MZone owes them an apology," said Bush.

Even Democrats were distancing themselves from the MZone. Massachusetts Senator John Kerry said he understood Benny was simply making a joke before the big Michigan-Ohio State game on November 18th. However, that was no excuse. "I was for the MZone before I turned against it," said Kerry.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, normally I'm just a lurker and I love your site. But WTF is "third world war" talking about? Holy crap...

Doug said...

"Democrats want to make White House the Servant of the Church and Pope"? . . . Sweet. I knew there was a reason I've been a lifelong Democrat. It's about time we Catholics started rising up and showing the Protestants what time it is.

Anonymous said...

WW3 - WTF? - FSO!

Anonymous said...

turbodouche!

beast in 'bama said...

And in this latest development from the internet, the popular blog MZone was the victim of an act of terrorism today from a group claiming to be "third world war."

Unlike conventional terrorist acts, this incident did not have any physical casualties, but instead left witnesses confused and fearful that a group like this knows the whereabouts of MZone in the first place.

Additionally, witnesses who do not have a scroll button on their mouse were extremely PISSED OFF!

The Blue Front said...

Holy Crap! I gotta stop drinking on my way to work. I don't understand a word WWIII said...

Benny Friedman said...

Actually guys, it appears that the MZone was hit with some major spam from WWIII. It's been taken down, so now all of your comments will make no sense to all of the future readers of this post. I guess that's no different from any other post.

WillinSacto said...

Benny...was that an orignal quote? Because its so true!

Good job guys on the satire.

Yost said...

Damnit, what did I miss. I don't get the reference either, Benny.

Yost said...

Ok, I went back through my emails of the comments and saw that. Uh...

WTF?!

I just want to know why/how they guy found this site? Please tell me it was chance and he's not a regular reader.

Anonymous said...

The dude probably did a blog search for keywords like "bush" and "election" and other such phrases. That oughta teach you not to post anything political, even if it is satirical in nature.

Anonymous said...

When I say "WWIII" you say, "WTF".

WWIII....

WTF?!?!?!

OK, I'm not a Bucks fan at all, but for some damn reason I still have that cheer from that Bucks tailgating video from yesterday in my head. It was some easier when all I could think when I read this site was, "Space, bitches, space"

Andy said...

Yost:

I saw the post. Attempted to read the 1st couple of lines. Quickly moved into regret and tried to move on. It seemed like it took me 10 minutes to scroll down (using the page down button) to the next post (which is now the 1st comment) and rediscover my sanity.

Yost said...

Andy,

Yeah, I don't know when Karl Rove started reading the MZone.

TitleIX said...

maybe it was that New Life Church guy on Meth???

Yost said...

LOL, TIX.