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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Letter from a Buckeye Fan

As you read the email below, remember: somebody actually took time out of their life to sit down and write this.

Date: Sunday, October 29, 12:53 PM
From: joshua wyrick ohiostate_fan_2002@yahoo.com
To: michiganzone
Subject: Michigan
Size: 5 KB

My hate goes deeper than anyone can imagine for michigan. I hate their coach. I hate that stupid banner. I hate their stadium. I hate their players. I hate that gay helmet. I hate the maze rage (learn to rhyme by the way). I hate Bo. I hate your "tradition". I hate Rumeul Robinson. I hate that Mike Hart gets 4.1 ypc and Pittman gets 6.0 ypc, but Hart is "better". I hate your half national championship. I hate bob uefer. I hate the gay florescent yellow pants. I hate the fans that can't name a single player other than talking about tom brady's nfl career. I hate the underground fishbowl (I needed to state that fact again because I hate it so much). I hate Crysler arena and how ghetto it is. I hate michigans campus, which consists of run down frat houses and brick buildings falling apart used as classrooms. I hate Fielding Yost. I hate Gerald Ford. I hate Chris Sabo. I hate the new away uniforms with yellow stripes on it. I hate the "fab" 5. I hate the band uniforms (I didn't know every fall Saturday was queer day in the band section). I hate John Navarre and his biggest butt in football history. I hate the cowbell in the Michigan crowd. I hate the fight song. I hate Mario Manningham. I hate Shawn Crable. I hate Prescott Burgess. I hate the marshmallow throwers in the endzone corner. I hate Desmond Howard. I hate the small tunnel going under the stadium for the players. I hate the pressbox that looks like a giant sideways skyscraper built in 1920 and never fixed up. I hate the bathrooms at the big house. I hate the 6 inch seats. I hate the fat ushers. I hate the University of Michigan

--------------------------

Uh...wow. Thanks for your "thoughts," Joshua. And, hey, good to see you've put college football in proper perspective in your life. Best of luck with that English degree.

58 comments:

Eric S. said...

We do hate Desmond Howard. And not just for the Heisman.

At the Texas-Ohio State game at Columbus, he went to the top of Ohio Stadium and sang "Hail to the Victors." Who does that at the UT-OSU game? If it was UM-OSU, maybe I could understand. But literally, that served ZERO purpose except to piss off the home crowd for no good reason.

But to the rest, I think that Mr. Wyrick needs a Prozac. Or something stronger.

P.S. Can you post a positive Buckeye email just for balance?

SenatorTressel said...

Eric forgot the most important point.....Fuck Michigan

TitleIX said...

proof positive that buckeyes are morons...
sheez, if ya can't spell or conjugate at least be practical and use the freakin' spell check!?

anybody find his Facebook or MySpace page yet???

Sports on a Schtick said...

Give the dude a break. He was probably in the library typing with one hand.

Eric said...

titleix,

I hate to add on to an already unnecessary and childish post but if you would have used the spell check you'd have noticed that you didn't actually ask a question so the ? after your first "statement" should not be there.

Not all Buckeyes are morons.

Go Bucks!

Eric S. said...

No, not Fuck Michigan.

Boo Michigan.
We're gonna kick your ass Michigan.
Hell, even I don't mind Ann Arbor is a Whore that much.

But, Fuck Michigan = Classless response. And personally, working with the Sportsmanship Council at Ohio State, I don't want to hear that shit.

My friends worked really fucking hard to improve or at least acknowledge fan behavior, and I don't want the Michigan game to fuck it all up.

Excuse the rant. But if you're going to the game (that means you too Michigan fans), the perception of my soon-to-be M.E. degree will be on the line based on every fan's behavior. So for me, if nothing else, think about that.

And enjoy the greatest rivalry in sports.

jeremy said...

eric s.,

You are in way over your head.

WAY over your head.

Everyone watch this video, and remember that we had two losses going into that game.

http://www.dispatch.com/multimedia/multimedia.php?story=dispatch/2006/10/22/2002.html

Anonymous said...

eric s-

Have you ever thought that it was not Desmond that went up to the top of the shoe to sing the fight song that college gameday sent him up there? They did a bit on hail to the victors that day & sent him up there to sing it. Also, do you think he wanted to sing it with that loser Nick Lachey?

Thanks for shaming that crazy buckeye, but lay off Desmond & that gameday bit from last year. Enjoy that they have been at 3 of your games this year & I am sure one more.

Anonymous said...

Jeremy,
That was some video.
Do you think that a 10 cent can deposit might make a difference in Ohio? There must have been $20,000 laying around in that parking lot!

Anonymous said...

Joshua Wyrick,

grow the fuck up. Were you sodomized as a child by your father every time Michigan beat Ohio State? Is that where the hate comes from? Seek Counseling.

MGOBLUE94 said...

Jeremy -


WOW - I was there that day and that video does capture what I saw as well. Very strong video and would have to agree that shows how TRUE $uckeye fans are on game day.

GO BLUE!

jeremy said...

Yeah... I'm in the band in that video, you can see me among the trombones briefly. It was bad that day, but I guess I didn't realize how subhuman that class of people is. They are on a different echelon of existence.

Eric S., you won't make a difference, and I'll still consider you one of them for associating with that team when I get urinated on and batteries thrown at my head.

I'm going with a few friends this year, and we were all gung-ho about wearing our maize and blue to the game, until we saw that video.

MGoBlue93 said...

eric s. 9:47 sez:

"P.S. Can you post a positive Buckeye email just for balance?"

HA... trick question!

imafreak said...

This injustice cannot stand! Many bad things have been said about John Navarre (crowned fields, batted passes etc) but there is no way he has "the biggest ass in football history". He doesn't even have the biggest ass of
QB's. Go now, look up Jared Lorenze.

Anonymous said...

Wow, doesn't he hate Charles Woodson and Braylon Edwards too?

Joshua...what a pear-shaped loser.

When you manage to stick out as one of the most idiotic nutsack fans amongst a group of nutsack fans with single digit IQs, then that's really saying something.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, someone's upset about being rejected from UofM!

Eric S. said...

Anon 4:26 -

Fair enough. He still sucks, but I'll concede the argument to College Gameday. But Corso still has a baby arm.

Jeremy -

I've seen the video. But be fair - the entire fanbase shouldn't be paired with some shitty fans. My friend got jumped at the Michigan game last year and got his nose broken...by a fan. Not the Michigan fanbase. Just one (well, a few) shitty fans. There is a difference. But your point is taken.

Scott Boswell said...

Is that Ugly Kid Joe?

Andy said...

Sorry for the lengthy post, but we need to analyze this (my comments bolded or linked inside parenthesis):

My hate goes deeper than anyone can imagine for michigan (really ?). I hate their coach (funny, Most Buckeye fans I know love Coach Carr, much like I loved John Cooper). I hate that stupid banner. (Did you play on the ’73 Buckeyes?) I hate their stadium (perhaps green turf make you nervous). I hate their players (they are rather large aren’t they?). I hate that gay helmet (you are right, the coors light silver bullet look is much better). I hate the maze rage (learn to rhyme by the way) (is it the yellow shirts?). I hate Bo (that is funny, because Woody loved him). I hate your "tradition" (winning is a horrible thing). I hate Rumeul Robinson (Ohio guy who delivered a ncaa basketball title, something not seen at OSU since 1960). I hate that Mike Hart gets 4.1 ypc and Pittman gets 6.0 ypc, but Hart is "better" (the “better” measurement is tricky; take pittman away from the bucks and they still are great; take hart away from the wolves and they are not so great). I hate your half national championship (me too, the coaches that gave tom osborne his retirement present should be ashamed). I hate bob uefer (the man is a saint). I hate the gay florescent yellow pants (I have heard a lot of buckeye fans made the same comment, what is the fascination with the pants?). I hate the fans that can't name a single player other than talking about tom brady's nfl career (most Michigan fans I know admit that they liked Henson over Brady when they were in A2). I hate the underground fishbowl (I needed to state that fact again because I hate it so much) (I am confused. Are you talking about the stadium or the fishbowl? 2 separate things.) I hate Crysler arena and how ghetto it is (you are right, it is in a terrible neighborhood). I hate michigans campus, which consists of run down frat houses (buckeye fraternities are nicer?) and brick buildings falling apart used as classrooms (I too am disappointed that we actually use the buildings as classrooms). I hate Fielding Yost (it must be the 4 straight national championships). I hate Gerald Ford (democrat?). I hate Chris Sabo (his championship contribution for the Ohio based Cincinnati Reds was sad). I hate the new away uniforms with yellow stripes on it (Nike has some great stuff in mind for you all soon). I hate the "fab" 5 (your incoming freshman basketball team will make them look like chior boys when all is said and done). I hate the band uniforms (I didn't know every fall Saturday was queer day in the band section) (Outside of Texas A&M all band uniforms are bad, but I do prefer the salvation army look of the TBDBITL). I hate John Navarre and his biggest butt in football history (don’t forget the slow feet and bolts on the side of his neck, plus the 2003 game). I hate the cowbell in the Michigan crowd (Hang on Sloopy is better). I hate the fight song (universally accepted as the greatest fight song in america). I hate Mario Manningham (Ohio guy). I hate Shawn Crable (Ohio guy). I hate Prescott Burgess (Ohio guy). I hate the marshmallow throwers in the endzone corner (not as cool as urine or feces throwers at the shoe?). I hate Desmond Howard (Ohio guy, see 1992 game). I hate the small tunnel going under the stadium for the players (no room for drug sniffing dogs?). I hate the pressbox that looks like a giant sideways skyscraper built in 1920 and never fixed up (after all the above, I am not sure why that would bother you, but OK whatever). I hate the bathrooms at the big house (you would rather piss while standing at your seat?). I hate the 6 inch seats (me too, people were much smaller back in the day). I hate the fat ushers (and cheerleaders). I hate the University of Michigan (that is good because you would not have gotten admitted anyway).

Anonymous said...

Andy with the lengthy reply-

WOW!!! That was an AWESOME post! I enjoyed reading every word. You are great, my friend!!

Anonymous said...

AWESOME! I'm so excited to finally see that my English professor at tOSU is finally getting published.....

What tool. This is the same guy that’ll puke on himself and pass out before halftime. He'll probably fall over and knock over the space heater in his trailer too.

If he finds his way to campus, beware. He'll be the one flinging doo everywhere. Figuratively and literally.

Go Buckeyes

harry hasselhoff said...

Hey Joshua Wyrick and all "hate filled" Buckeyes:

A) Joshua, you have way too much hate for an 11 year-old

B) It's a football game, and nothing in a game is worth hating. I hate Osama bin Laden and I hate murderers, but I don't hate O-State. I don't care for O-State, but I also don't care to put orange juice in my cereal like I did that one time I was half asleep.

That said, O-State does suck.

Anonymous said...

Nice proofing. I meant "what a tool"

Kraut said...

I hate the fact that I may never see a Michigan-OSU game in Columbus because I’d prefer to keep by body and my car in tact.

I hate the fact that the only thing anyone focuses on in Columbus is OSU football.

I hate the fact that kids in Columbus grow up thinking that saying, “Fuck Michigan,” throwing batteries at the Michigan band, and flipping off anything to do with Michigan are all acceptable forms of behavior.

I hate the fact that OSU chicks are hotter than Michigan chicks.

I hate the fact that Michigan stadium is so damn quiet and that somehow keys are supposed to help.

But I still love the Michigan-OSU game because no one knows who will win, and the players on the field are always far classier than OSU fans.

mgoblue84 said...

I think it's funny that somebody who's mascot is literally a NUT can be so hatefull against the team that has more class in it's big toe than he does altogether!

DUDE, your mascot is a nut!

Trevor Pitt said...

Man, Joshua is so right. I hate fat ushers. It's like an epidemic! Someome needs to eliminate Trans-Fat in every stadium. Schwoo, glad someone's so in touch with America's values. It's tough living up to that "Ohio is the microcosm of America" title we've gotten in recent years. And now The Daily Show is even pounding it home this whole week (which I must say is kinda' fun).

How can anyone hate Chris Sabo?! That's Spuds for Christ'sake! Without his 90's antics I'd have no World Series to ever reflect on! And I even like Chris Perry, as long as he stays healthy.

And if you guys notice, Joshua didn't mention that he hates Michigan's key jinglers. Hard on marshmallows, soft on keys?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stoke the couch, the fire's dying down and it's supposed to be a cold one tonight.

PS: And for the record, I don't hate Michigan, I LOVE BEATING THEM!

Anonymous said...

mgoblue84:

Is it a collective “big toe” or is there actually a Big Maize and Blue Toe?

BTW
Who’s = who is
It’s = It is
(just messing with you.)


Go Bucks (we’re nuts!)

Andy said...

Jon Stewart is really funny

surrounded in columbus said...

what i always find odd are the "gay" references to michigan fans.

columbus has w/out a doubt one of the largest gay populations between the coasts (i think i'm supposed to insert the Seinfeld "not that there's anything wrong w/ that" here). the city is known for its tolerance and encouragement of alternative lifestyles and has a number of noted (perhaps famous) cultural events, including an absolutely hilarious parade every year that's as wild as anything this side of SF or mardi gras.

all that said, the continued "gay" deragatory comments from columbus/tosu residents and fans towards michigan is just mystifying given the city's cultural make up.

mgoblue84 said...

Anonymous, it's a collective big toe....

Thanks for the english lesson though! It's been a while since I have been "schooled". Chalk it up to being in a rush to post and get back to work.

Anonymous said...

I hate the fact the OSU fans are class-less pieces of shit.
It's a football game that you have nothing to do with moron. I respect Ohio State football. They have a great program. I want Michigan to win of course and reading posts like this I want Michigan to destroy them. It's a great rivalry played by great players who are coached by great coaches. The only thing I hate is the fact that Ohio State fans seem to be for the most part like you. Move on with your life and find something else to hate, like maybe yourself nut-lover!
Go Blue!

MGoBlue93 said...

How can anyone hate Michigan so much... given U of M historically has more Ohio players on the roster than any other state? Especially during the Cooper era.

But then again you know what folks say... if you cannot get into college you can always go to ohio state.

You Know This said...

Anonymous said...

I hate the fact the OSU fans are class-less pieces of shit.

Wow, way to class the whole discussion up a notch

CaliGirl said...

WOW! What an angry human being. Furthermore, what an ignorant human being. I am afraid to be within 20 miles of him come November 18th (imagine should his beloved Bucks fail him).

I do realize there are classy tOSU fans out there (thanks for posting), it is such a shame fans like this ruin it for EVERY team. It's a game people! Enjoy the greatest rivalry...no need to be in therapy or have to take anger management classes for it.

I agree with Andy, Penalty Kill and Kevin Krause, all well put and my thoughts exactly...so I won't even add.

All I can say is, WOW! What an angry human being.

Go Blue!

Trevor Pitt said...

Anonymous 9:25 said...

"I hate the fact the OSU fans are class-less pieces of shit."

Which definition of "class" were you going for here?

A) elegance in dress or behavior
B) a league ranked by quality
C) a body of students who are taught together
D) people having the same social or economic status
E) a collection of things sharing a common attribute

I'll assume defintion E, because you're claiming we're all "pieces of shit." Then again it could be D. You might be using "shit" as a metaphor in regards to social behavior amongst OSU fans. The "pieces of shit" must represent individuals who act in congruence with "shit" as a social norm. But, I could be over analyzing all of this crap.

mgoblue84 said...

ya think?

Andy said...

I wonder if the Bellevue High School band has cool uniforms ?
read on

Welcome to the internet Mr. Wyrick.

Yost said...

Andy,

You rock! HELL of a find.

Andy said...

My pleasure. Just trying to be part of the team like Jerome Jackson...

Anonymous said...

Wow. OWNED!

I was going to talk about Anon 9:25's "Class-less pieces of shit" comment but I think I'm done now.

Andy, can I just call you Scoop?

Andy said...

Oh it just gets better and better

Bellevue isn't actually in Belmont County -- but the photo is too good to not be him.

Yost said...

Eric S.,

Tried to email you back but for some reason it won't go through. Email me again if you see this.

IC said...

What on Earth is Todd Drado doing to that poor turkey?

Anonymous said...

It's what we call "Stuffing the Turkey" Don't tell me you all don't do that too. I'm serious. Please don't tell me.

Andy said...

I only hope that the guys from the Salvation Army (read: TDBDITL) can score Josh and his fellow Athletic "pep" band mates some better uniforms this holiday season. The nike wind breaker is a bad look at the women's volleyball games.

That is enough. I quit.

Trevor Pitt said...

Oh sorry mgoblue84, I didn't realize sarcasm was something people can't detect up North. I'm pretty sure being a smart ass isn't just an Ohio thing. Next time I'll use emoticons or those fancy asterisks that the kids use to get their message across.

Anonymous said...

Joshua needs to seek clarity and heed the teachings of Jesus and Jim Tressel.
Love thy neighbor and hate will destroy you are two valuable lessons to learn in life.
Peace.

Trick Magnet

Anonymous said...

Hello all, this is Josh Wyrick. I see you've been having fun with my post. No, I didn't write it. It was written by some other Buckeye fan on an OSU fan forum. I sent it here as a joke, looks like you've all been hving some fun with it.....I guess that was kind of the intention. (I've never been to your campus...so there's no way I'd even know about half of the stuff mentioned in the email)

It's obvious now you know a lot about me. Andy, you are correct in saying that Bellevue is not in Belmont County. It's actually in Huron, Sansusky, Erie, and Seneca Counties. By the way, athletic band plays at more than just volleyball games. We do hockey, basketball, baseball, soccer....etc. Best part about it: we follow the hockey team, and both mens and womens basketball if they make the NCAA tourneys. So if the Bucks ever make the final four, I might be there for free.

Well, it looks like this will be the biggest UM/OSU game in my lifetime (and arguably in history), and I'll be there.

Josh Wyrick

Anonymous said...

So -- is that you with the turkey ?

josh wyrick said...

Nothing is with me and the turkey we are just friends. I had to shoot him for the photo because he told me Michigan was going to win this year. I just can't wait to climb the clocktower on Nov. 18th.
Go Buckeyes!

Joshua, now to be Parm said...

You know, I tend to be rather fond of my name, and then jackasses like that have to go and get the same one. Henceforth I will now be posting as Parm, lest anyoe confuse the two of us.

Anonymous said...

Being from Columbus and responding to the gay issue posted...The OTHER paper here in C-bus had a cover story not to long ago that read "Why is Columbus so Gay?" Just thought it was funny. Go Bucks!

bobmurph said...

I've been to Columbus for the M/OSU game only once, in 2000. As much as I'd like to go again this year to experience in person what is potentially the biggest M/OSU game in my lifetime, after my year 2000 experience I doubt I will ever travel to Columbus again. It's so transparent when Buckeye fans rant about how classless M fans are and how dirty Ann Arbor is. What a joke. That video is an PERFECT EXAMPLE of what tOSU is like. How could anyone be proud of such a shithole? I know there are many good OSU fans who are ashamed of the filth around the 'Shoe and the classless OSU fans and students, but they're either far outnumbered and much less visible than the fans who give OSU a bad name. Obviously, every school has "good" fans and "bad" fans, but it's ridiculous to even suggest that Michigan has worse fans (more bad fans) than OSU...any unbiased person who has been to both venues would attest to that.

My cousin and I joke that if we went to the game this year we would buy a full size Michigan helmet and some pads to protect from batteries and violent attacks from jackass OSU fans.

To the Bucks fan who thinks Ann Arbor is filty and M fans are as classless as tOSU fans, why don't you break out your video camera for the '07 game in A2 and TRY to make a video that compares to the one of Columbus on '02.

Man 'o War Buckeye said...

Looks like he stirred up a hornet's nest. Go Buckeyes! Beat Michagain! (<-- spelled wrong on purpose :)

Anonymous said...

Whats funny is that I just read through the thing again...and I don't even know who half of the people mentioned are.

Josh Wyrick

Anonymous said...

The post below is from young Joshua Wyrick in a post on a Yahoo bulletin board.


Re: [Hartpence2005] Whats Up?


Gable, My original comment wasn't meant to be trash talk. I don't even play football. I actually thought that you guys must have had a home playoff game somewhere in the past. I'm in our band, which is without a doubt the best in this area. I have preformed in 41 halftime shows so far in my high school career, and 41 times we have blown the other band away. After this year we will be 43-0 (including three playoff games) in my high school career. We also did the pregame show for the Browns vs. Jets game in '04.

Now that doesn't mean I don't care about football. I care about the Redmen just the same as I do for my Buckeyes and Browns. I'm completely content with the fact that during my high school career the Redmen won two NOL (Northern Ohio League) titles and went to the playoffs twice. They could still get a NOL title this year if they win out.

So Gable, I hope you guys go deep into the playoffs, so that you can enjoy your senior year as much as I am enjoying mine.

Oh and if you want to talk trash...... The Bellevue Redmen made it to the playoffs numerous times in the past 15 years and hold a 23-8-3 overall record against the Clyde Fliers.

Hard feelings aside, good luck in the playoffs.

Josh Wyrick

P.S. Did you go to tower driving academy in may of '03? If so we were in the same class.

And good luck to everyone else in football, band, and any other activity coming up.

Anonymous said...

Another post from our little friend. Unfortunately it doesnt sound like he will be able to dot the i.




Joshua Wyrick
The Ohio State University
Major: Undecided

I won't be able to be in the marching band, no woodwinds :(

But I can still play in the pep bands for basketball, hockey, volleyball, and basically every other sport OSU has, as well as parades, Cedar Point opening day, and the spring football game! So if OSU's basketball team goes far in the NCAA tourney next year (Men's or Women's), odds are I'll be in the pep band that travels with them.

On Sunday (apr. 23rd) I went to the Shoe (in the band center) for an informational meeting about OSU bands. We got to play OSU fight songs with members of the marching band as well as sit and eat our dinner in the lower deck of the stadium. We even had a surprise guest drop in and talk to us, Jim Tressle. I was like 15 ft. from him!
It was an amazing day.

Josh Wyrick
(the electric company guy)

Anonymous said...

And your point is....

Josh Wyrick