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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Coaches' Halloween Costumes

The MZone takes a guess at what some coaches might be wearing to the big Halloween party tonight at Chuck Amato's place.

Lloyd Carr - Michigan
Costume - Old West Gunslinger


After circling the wagons following a 7-5 season in A2 last year, Carr came out firing with guns blazing in 2006, leading his team to the cusp of greatness. This costume is also convenient because it allows Carr to re-use it and go as a member of the Village People if things don't go as well in 2007.

Joe Paterno - Penn State
Costume: Dracula


JoePa wanted to go as someone who was about his same age this year. Also, after surving all the FireJoePa.com, .net and .org sites a few years back, he's about as hard to get rid of as the Count. Besides, a guy his age always smells like garlic anyway.

Chuck Amato - N. C. State
Costume: Grim Reaper
Let's face it, hosting the party or not, Amato is "Dead Coach Walking" after yet another disappointing season in Raleigh.

Jim Tressel - THE Ohio State University
Costume: Frank N. Furter

The Horseshoe reminds us of The Rocky Horror Picture Show - people screaming and throwing shit at the screen. Plus, the costume did come with a vest...

Greg Schiano - Rutgers
Costume: Cinderella

Yes, they're 7-0, but with WVU and Louisville still to come, it's almost midnight in New Brunswick/Piscataway.

Dirk Koetter - Arizona State
Costume: Headless Horseman

Off the field, he caused a QB controversy right before the season started that was so bad one of his QBs transferred. On the field, he does things like punt against USC with less than a minute and a half left and down just seven points. As such, he's left us and many Sun Devil fans wondering if there's anything up there.

Mack Brown - Texas
Costume - "Mac Daddy"

After years of folks saying he couldn't win the big one, Mack is now the "Mac Daddy" in Austin following the Longhorns' National Title last season.

Tommy Tuberville - Auburn
Costume - Big Baby

After whining about the BCS a couple weeks ago, Tuberville's Tigers have proceeded to lose then look like shit against inferior competition.

John L. Smith - Michigan State
Costume - Turkey

Now that his team has packed it in for the year (as it usually does come October), the Spartans can be counted on to be slaughtered each and every Saturday (with the ax to fall on Smith himself in November).

Pete Carroll - USC
Costume: Stud Boy

Hey, the man played for three national titles in three years. As such, some 'SC fans might argue Pete's "costume" isn't big enough.

Charlie Weis - Notre Dame
Costume: Ballerina


Charlie proved you can dance around the fact that you haven't beaten a top team yet still get a $40M contract extention.

Well, that's it. Those are the coaches we heard were at the party. Next--

Hey! Who the fuck invited Gary Moeller?!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

This one is a classic! Nicely done, once again!

Yost said...

Thanks, PT.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

brilliant!

alternate for amato:

a duck with a hurt leg (lame duck...nudge, nudge).

or one of Biff's goons from Back to the Future. the glasses are soooo Back to the Future.

Can't spell Lloyd without 2 "L's" said...

The John L(oss) Smith as a turkey is a FUCKING CLASSIC!!!!! Great work.

Anonymous said...

I personally want that turkey John L Smith to hang around MSU for a loooonnnngggg time. He is way too much fun.

surrounded in columbus said...

Yost,
yours & Benny's photo shopping has come a long way. congrats.

BTW- have you changed the back ground/type colors on the page from maize to orange for Halloween or is my screen off???

screwa2 said...

brilliant post! & i too love the color scheme change. details, details!

beast in bama said...

Benny & Yost, this one belongs over on the left side right away - truly one of your best.

That said, I am NEVER going to be able to look at Pete Carroll again...

Other suggestions: Bobby Bowden as Humpty Dumpty, Mark Mangino as Charlie Weis, Ralph Friedgen as Mark Mangino.

Andy said...

Wow!!!!
Nice work.

Anonymous said...

Ed Orgeron as Marv from Sin City. He's a badass, ya know.

bk said...

Benny, this is your photoshopped world. We just live in it.

Outstanding work you guys.

Other Andrew said...

Hysterical! Tommy Bowden is my favorite.

jeff said...

Instant classic.

In addition, I submit the following nominations:

Larry Coker (Miami): The daredevil... great vision, but it's amazing that he never saw this coming.

Bobby Bowden (FSU): the head of a donkey... followed by Jeff Bowden as the ass of that donkey

Steve Spurrier (S.Carolina): Anakin Skywalker, the teenage years... either he'll cut you down or just cut you, but you still want him to be on your side

Phillip Fulmer (Tenn): The Gorilla... where does a 600 pound non-bowl-eligible coach coach? Wherever he wants damnit, and you'll be sorry you second guessed him.

Dan Hawkins (Colo): A Sheep in Wolf's Clothing... last year, he came to the party as King Midas (google it)






Aside: my apologies to Bobby Bowden. Please don't smite me.

anonymous iv said...

I was hoping to see Paterno as a zombie. Mack Brown as a pimp is great, but Weis as Jabba the Hutt, while not original, would also be nice.

Anonymous said...

Shit, that is funny. The Tressel photo is genius, "comes with a vest" Well done. Oh wait...you suck.

Also, it's no wonder why Pete Carroll always has a look on his face like he couldn't care less. With that python, why would he?

go buckeyes.

Anonymous said...

Did the Pete Carroll costume have to be so, uhhhh, detailed? I was laughing and scrolling, laughing and scrolling and then suddenly horrified.

Well done guys...awesome work!!!

beast in bama said...

Just thought of it:

Larry Coker as Louis XVI. Bon jour!

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:43 = Three-Pete loser.

WillinSacto said...

Pete Caroll and the schlong....I think I may have nightmares tonight...lol

trojan mike said...

anonymous 8:08 get a life! How long are we going to beat that thing? Obviously Pete isnt using steriods or his wang would have shriveled up. Great post. I had a good laugh.

Tony said...

Awesome stuff guys.

Anonymous said...

I was actually thinking about going as Charlie Weis this year (mostly beacues I hate him).

Anonymous said...

The Tressel pic is PERFECT for that outfit. (LMFAO)

Pete Carroll - USC (Unusually Superb Cock)

Happy Halloween!!!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Great work guys.

Howard21 said...

Quite the turnaround from the last two days where your asses were chewed off for every post you made. Great stuff, some girl behind in the computer lab saw the Pete Carroll one and mumbled something to herself (probably a ND fan).

Scott said...

That's why his Mom named him Peter!

Ali Haji-Sheikh said...

Brilliant!!! The only reason Colin Cowherd won't rip this off is because it doesn't translate to radio.

You missed this one....Karl Dorrell, UCLA--A ghost as he has the least presence of any coach I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

Carl Dorrell as Radio from the movie of the same name.http://www.hometheaterhifi.com/volume_11_1/images/movie-radio.jpg

Anonymous said...

Great guys. Just fucking great.

Andy said...

Excellent job. It's the best post I've seen in weeks.

Anonymous said...

" Great stuff, some girl behind in the computer lab saw the Pete Carroll one and mumbled something to herself (probably a ND fan)."

or a porn star wondering why she hadn't been on set with that dude.

Anonymous said...

"Charlie proved you can dance around the fact that you haven't beaten a top team yet still get a $40M contract extention."

Seems you forgot Notre Dame dominated the Skunkbears last year and Carr was in a dead heat with John L. ...And the last time the Skunkbears played USC in the Rose Bowl Pete reamed the Skunkbears ass pretty good. Short memory Dildo.

Anonymous said...

nice stuff, i'd go easy on ND since they are the only decent team Michigan has beat.


M

Anonymous said...

Outstanding!!

Anonymous said...

YOu need one of Woody Hayes in a boxing outfit with a piece of ear in his mouth and the caption, "That bitch Bauman lied."