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Monday, October 02, 2006

And this is a tradition because...?

Folks, there are a lot of wonderful traditions in college football: dotting the "i" in Columbus, touching Howard's Rock at Clemson, the running of Ralphie at Colorado (not to be confused with the running of Ralph Friedgen at Maryland) and painting the helmets at Notre Dame among others.

But MZone reader Rodger wrote and told us about the, uh, strangest one we've ever seen. It's the Texas A&M Corp "tradition" of squeezing their jewels during Aggie football games. Or as three year olds call it, "I gotta go potty, dada."


longhorn_steve said...

slowly the rest of the country may begin to realize what us Horn fans have known for years. Aggies are really really fucked up. I mean Branch Davidian fucked up. Believe it or not, "squeeze army" is not the weirdest of their "traditions". Probably not even in the top 5. Hell just ask an aggie about the "jizz jar". Yeah, I'm not kidding.

Sports on a Schtick said...

Nice Koresh reference Steve lol.

I hope the "jizz jar" doesn't have anything to do with the 12th Man. Or the other eleven for that matter.

Doug said...

I'm with Steve -- Aggies acting like complete 'tards is not a new development. Weren't they the ones that threw actual turds at the band from Texas Tech or Oklahoma or somebody last year?

Tom said...

This came up on an Aggie discussion board yesterday because most of the non-corps Aggies had no idea what was going on either. Apparently the cadets in question here were forming a box around the mascot to protect her from angry Tech fans or something. I'm not trying to defend the corps and it looked pretty bad on TV.

Yup, you are right longhorn_steve, Aggie traditions make us just like the Branch Davidians. Things like standing for the whole game and having a little pride in our University are really far out there. I'm an Aggie and I have no idea what the "jizz jar" is.

Doug the horse manure incident isn't anything that anyone is proud of, but it was one overzealous student with a shovel. I would rather have to apologize for one jackass student than several hundred jackass student rioters at an Ohio State or a Michigan State.

beast in 'bama said...

As a student at Rice (and new to the state of Texas), I learned all of the "big" rivalries in the old Southwest Conference. All of those schools had that one opponent they would rather beat than anyone else on their schedule - and Texas A&M.

I am glad you Michigan fans are learning that everyone, EVERYONE hates the Aggies. And from the looks of this particular "tradition," that includes some of the Aggies!

Longhorn Steve, you couldn't have put it any better.

Scott Boswell said...

The horse crap thing was on the Texas band. I have the video on my hard drive at home.

The nut squeezing was just a classic move. From what I heard, the corps squeeze their nuts at a critical junction of the game to exhude "ball control".

I've watched that video 100 times. I am convinced that dork #3 is a 2%er.

Anonymous said...

If Longhorn_steve's first comment doesn' make an archive or hall of fame, there's no justice in Mdville. That was just funny as hell- whether it was true or not.

aladouche said...

wow thats pretty gay...and on national TV at that...

guthrie said...

What . . . the . . . fuck?

Anonymous said...

bottom line there's some strange going's on in texas! after the kick they're more than willing to kiss it and make it better...blaaah!

Rodger said...

To paraphrase the Dixie Chicks, “Just so you know, we’re ashamed that A&M is from Texas.” When I attended UTexas in the 1960s, I used to refer to the Aggies as sub-anthropoids. Aggie traditions are so weird they wouldn’t even be shown in a Jackass movie. From a Texags.com post, “Well squeezing was still done by the entire student body in the early 1970's and was part of being the 12th man. It was part of the I'd give my left or right n** devotion that the 12th man would have to support the team and it was done on key plays and kicks. Totally appropriate--finding a way to give that extra above one hundred support for the team.”

The jizz jar was an Aggie bonfire tradition before their rivalry game with the Longhorns. Cadets would masturbate into a jar and place it in the outhouse (symbolizing the UT tower) on top of the woodpile before the fire was lit.

Over three decades have passed since A&M was an all-male, military school. Today, the Corps makes up only 2-3 per cent of the student body, yet they still dominate all of the traditions of school. Most of the posters on Texags.com show the same embarrassment for the school that all non-Aggies have. I’m surprised there has not been a movement by normal Aggie alums to oust the Corps from participating at football games. They could get regular cheerleaders (instead of the guys in milkman outfits), start their traditions over, and maybe I would even root for them occasionally.

Your MZone tipster, Rodger

Anonymous said...

Dude I didnt need to hear about the jizz jar...

I guess what they say about texas is true...Only steers and queers come from texas.

longhorn_steve said...

"most of the non-corps Aggies had no idea what was going on either"

thats complete bs - hell most of the aggies old SWC rivals know what squeeze army is.

"I have no idea what the "jizz jar" is"

yeah, just sweep it under the rug. poor aggy.

Will Collier said...

Now we know how Austin resident Mike Judge came up with the idea for the most popular TV show of the 26th century, "Ow, My Balls!"

Oh, come on, didn't ANYBODY else see "Idiocracy"?!?

beast in 'bama said...

"It was part of the I'd give my left or right n** devotion that the 12th man would have to support the team and it was done on key plays and kicks."

I promised myself I wouldn't get involved in the in-house Michigan squabble over the "key play" issue, but this was too good to pass up! I'll bet you don't try THAT in the Big House! At least not with all those people around...

And can I get an AMEN for Longhorn Steve! He knows of what he speaks.

Tom said...


I owe you an apology. Last night I saw a thread on TexAgs.com talking about the nut squeezing and the final conclusion was incorrect. After checking back this afternoon it seems that some of the corps folks do indeed squeeze thier testicles on important plays.

As for the "jizz jar" I'm not trying to sweep anything under the rug. The last Bonfire was 7 years ago and much "tradition" died with it. And again, I'm not going to try and defend the corps, they're on their own there.

I'm very proud of my first alma mater, Michigan, but not necessarily happy with all that goes with it. That is true of Texas A&M as well. I'm still glad that when it came time to choose a grad school I chose A&M over Texas. The good stuff that goes on in College Station more than outweighs the Corps weirdness.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

and those may be the men who represent this country in Iraq. eessh.

Anonymous said...

"Doug the horse manure incident isn't anything that anyone is proud of, but it was one overzealous student with a shovel. I would rather have to apologize for one jackass student than several hundred jackass student rioters at an Ohio State or a Michigan State."

Ahhh...the classic Aggie Red Defense..."Oh, well, it's just one thing that's weird. The rest of it is all normal."

How many "one weird things" do you fuck-ups get? My God, you people are from another planet. I only wish it was from a different state, too.

Hook 'Em.

Anonymous said...

Look no further than Chris Simms' manlove tattoo, Roy "Prince" Williams, and fringe band uniforms to see that queers come out of t.u. in droves. Also consider the intimate relationships between Lance Armstrong/Matt Mcconaughey and Rickey Williams/Lenny Kravitz.

David said...

So the Longhorn band uniforms are more gay then a bunch of guys lining up hunched over back to back grabbing their own dicks? Shit man, they're so close they've got to be rubbing the ass of the guy in front of em. That's way gayer than a bit of fringe on a band uniform.

Anonymous said...

David, Austin is pretty much the gayest city in the USA and t.u. is the gayest school. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's your thing. Google yielded 8 million supporting articles, and here is one:


jg6544 said...

The funniest thing about the Agroids is, they can't understand why normal people make jokes about them!

Anonymous said...

I went to UT, and had friends that went to aTm. They can't even explain the "traditions" that go on there. I guess the only thing that could be even more gay, is squeezing the guy's nuts in front of you.


TitleIX said...

ball control vs. key play? you decide...

and, I wanna know--do they squeeze their own balls or the guy's in front of them????

TitleIX said...

sorry Anon...
guess I should read all the posts before posting, no? :-)

Anonymous said...

That is pretty sick. But then again..it worked -- the team responded to this show of emotion by coming up with a key stop to win the game. Oh wait....

In the end...not even the infamous Aggie Nut Clench could help win the game.

anonymosity said...

I caught the fourth quarter of this game on ESPN Classic on Sunday ("Game of the Week") and spent much of the last 24 hours wondering why the hell they were fondling themselves.

Thank you for clearing that up; now I can sleep tonight.

Anonymous said...

The ball squeezing is not limited to the corps; non-corps members have done it for years as well, including women in the stands, who pretend to squeeze something. Their milkmen...errr, yell leaders (they only have male cheerleaders, not female ones) do it before every field goal and extra point, just watch the next time they are on tv. The yell leaders, instead of doing the "nut to butt procedure," which is what the corps members call that pressing-your-dick-to-other-dudes-ass formation, put one arm over the shoulder of another yell leader and have their free hand squeezing the hell out of their nuts.

The reason I've always heard from ags for the squeezing itself is not ball control, but rather to feel the pain of the team in a tough situation (which makes more sense with the yell leaders doing it before field goals and XPs than the ball control explanation). I guess it is better than poking your eye out, and maybe it'll prevent some of these weirdos from procreating.

Oh, and the jizz jar is a pretty bad tradition, but I think the worst is the aggie tradition of shaving your buddy's pubes the night before his wedding (this one may actually be limited to the corps).

Hopefully people seeing this around the country will realize that this is NOT a state of Texas thing, that the aggies are laughed at and reviled across the state. Unfortunately they bring embarrassment upon us all every time their ridiculous antics get shown publicly.

Anonymous said...

Look - I feel embarassed to even have to come over to Michigan Fan and try and explain this anomaly that we in Texas call "Aggie". Actually, we have christened them "Aggy" in honor of their cult-like behavior, obviously which the whole nation has now been exposed to (no pun intended). "Squeezing" is just one of many Aggy traditions, but this particular one is meant for the Aggy student to subject himself to pain so that the team knows they'r with them. Ya - I know - but that's what they do.

As for the "Jizz Jar" - that one is exactly what it is. When Aggy is scheduled to Play us (UT) each year, the Corps of Cadets actually are required to fill this Jar with ... well, their jizz. The Jizz Jar is then taken to the annual bonfire and placed on said burning bonfire as some sort of weird sacrifice to show that the Corps has done their part to beat Texas.

There are many many more weirdisms that you Michiganders don't want to know, just suffice to say that Aggy is a breed apart, a cult unlike anything else that exists in our great state of Texas. And yes, I apologize for all Texans that you were exposed to Squeezing.

Hookem Horns

robert paulson said...

I suppose they should just change it to Aggays now because that was the gayest display of homoeroticism I have ever seen at a college football game. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

You non-Texans have probably noticed by now that Aggies take pride in calling Longhorns (or Austinites in general) 'gay' or 'ghey'. Austin is indeed a liberal oasis in the heart of a very red state. The University of Texas, being the most progressive public school in the state, does indeed have a large gay population. Longhorns pride themselves in knowing UT is diverse and open to people of different race, religeon, sexual preference, etc. Unfortunately, the average Aggie doesn't quite understand that - hence the 'gay' and 'ghey' comments we hear over and over again.

Ironically, how often do you see UT Male Cheerleaders squeezing each other's balls on national tele.

Anonymous said...

Now I'm beginning to see why Aggie fans and Clemson fans told each other they were the most pleasant opposing fans they have ever faced in 2004 and 2005 in their home & home series.

Just Damn.

Kirbdaddy said...

Didn't I see this on Beavis and Butthead about 13 years ago???

"Kick me in the Jimmy!!!"
"Huh-Huh! Huh-Huh! Cool!!!"

Anonymous said...

I kind of like these Aggie traditions. They're twisted in a very macho and insular way. Like the shit guys in my fraternity used to pull. Even Buckeye antics (dotting the i, slagging Michigan with that "Don't give a damn..." song, throwing batteries) seem neutered and effete by comparison.

Matt said...

"The good stuff that goes on in College Station more than outweighs the Corps weirdness."

To bad only aggy thinks this. The rest of the world thinks you are idiots. One of there other traditions that they think is so cool is bending over and yelling. It's called "humping." hmm

Please don't associate these morons with the rest of us Texans. They are an embarrassment to our great state.

They like all male cheerleaders that look like milkmen (they squeeze their nuts too. Watch on a field goal. One arm is around their "buddy" the other is sqeezing. They like guys running around in fake military uniforms that play "nutt to butt." Or you can come to Austin and see the hottest women in the country in short jean skirts, cowboy hats and cowboy boots. If you haven't seen it, you NEED to. Our cheerleaders are hot, and our pom squad wears CHAPS. Nuff said.

Some of their other traditions include buring their dead mascots next to the field so they can see the scoreboard. They like to call themselves the "Texas Aggies." Kind of like the Florida Seminoles, the Kansas Wildcats, and the Michigan Spartans right?

These guys have been second fiddle to THE University of Texas forever, and are now becoming third and 4th fiddle in Texas. They hate and envy anything about us. Look up their fight song. Guess what it is about? Thats right, UTexas.

So again, just because these guys have the name Texas in their school, please don't associate them with us.

p.s. I've always loved MZone, great work.


Longhorn Rep said...

"I guess what they say about texas is true...Only steers and queers come from texas."

Not true. The defending national champions also hail from Texas

trojan mike said...

Weren't the Aggies the team that got to go to the chicken ranch in the movie Best Little Whore House in Texas? They seemed pretty hetero in that movie.....I guess they cut out the ball squeezing and jizz filling scenes....

Anonymous said...

I kind of like the traditions...throwback to the all male institutions before everyone got all metro. Remember, the Corps of Cadets were being trained to fight battles in far off lands, not to enjoy the liberal atmosphere of Austin, which is proud of being very open to all things except, apparently, for the Aggies. Ironic, isn't it?

And the UT band uniforms are pretty bad.

Matt said...

Oh really? What military branch is A&M in?

longhorn_steve said...

ahh yes, the tired aggy reply of "well back in the day we sent a lot of soldiers to war, so everythings ok"
yeah well guess what, every school sent a lot of soldiers to far off countries, including UT.

oh and heres an example of what tradition you will encounter if you stp on their field... Assault with a deadly weapon.


Eskimo Horn said...

A&M = Webelos

Every University has an ROTC program, where 1/3 or so of the officers go on to serve the military.

Aggies are to irony as the atom bomb is to Hiroshima.

Anonymous said...

Oh, come on...membership in the Corps was mandatory until only about 40 years ago. Even today, a third of the graduating cadets go on to military service, something like 700 a year, in every branch of the services. And their band still kicks ass. Actually plays marching music while really marching instead of gay show tunes while walking around a football field. I'm not a fan of Texas A&M and I have to give them credit.

Matt said...

Ah yes, the "winning" of the halftime. Another great tradition. Military style marching, yeah thats fun to watch. Well hell, have to be exicted about something I guess. You're not a fan, but defend them and obviously hate UT.

Texas A&M: Home of the 12th place and Moral Victory Champions.

Anonymous said...

There's actually only one thing to say about the excitement created by the Aggie band ... seig heil !

Anonymous said...

This thread reminds me of how reasonable UT fans are. I was at the '05 Rose Bowl, and every UT fan I met was great. Knowledgeable about both teams, even-tempered. And I was wearing a "We're Going Cow-tipping" t-shirt at the time, which was mainly taken to be hilarious, not offensive. (Although the content turned out to be inaccurate.)

Anonymous said...

If you're not secure enough in your manhood to palm your nads in front of 75,000 people and a national television audience, that's your problem.

Samuel Clemens said...

mark it down

Scott Boswell said...

It's true that only steers and queers come from Texas.

A "Longhorn" is a steer. I'll let YOU finish the rest...

FirstT said...

"I kind of like these Aggie traditions. They're twisted in a very macho and insular way."

Then you're going to love this one. I mean what's more masculine than one man giving another man a BJ.


A&M Corps member accuses fellow cadet of sexual assualt Freshman alleges sophomore forced oral sex in dorm room

Ashley Kosiewicz Daily Texan Staff

A male freshman member of the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M University filed a sexual assault complaint against another male cadet last week.

According to the the Texas A&M University Police Department, the freshman cadet, whose name was not released, alleged that on Nov. 7 a sophomore cadet entered his dorm room, knocked him down to the floor and forcibly performed oral sex on him.

The police also declined to release the sophomore's name.

The sophomore cadet was questioned by A&M police last Friday, during which he denied the allegations, said Bob Wiatt, director of the police department.

The freshman filed the complaint with police Nov. 11, but subsequently decided not to press criminal charges, Wiatt said.

The sophomore has been cleared of all criminal charges, but the University has decided to investigate to see if there has been a violation of University Student Rules, which spell out guidelines for student behavior, Wiatt said.

The sophomore has been removed from his dorm and suspended from the Corps until the matter is resolved, said Brian Hager, commanding officer of the two students' Corps division.

Hager said alcohol may have been involved in the alleged incident. The sophomore may have had "a few drinks" during the Texas A&M-Oklahoma football game on Nov. 7, the day the sexual assault allegedly occurred, he said.

Holla! QueerEyeForTheQueerGuy@utexas.edu

FirstT said...

The BBC News on Texas A&M after a giant stack of Lincoln Logs killed 12 students:

" If Texas can be described as “big” and “freaky”, then in the greatest concentration of “big freakiness” exists at Texas A&M University, in College Station, Texas. Located halfway between Houston and Waco, Texas A&M is the fourth largest university in the United States boasting approximately 45,000 students. It is most well known for its cult-like conservative following and its eccentric traditions.”

Anonymous said...

"A "Longhorn" is a steer. I'll let YOU finish the rest..."

Wrong. Longhorns are a breed of cattle. In fact, they are the result of natural breeding of the first cattle in North America. If all Longhorns are steers, how exactly could they have procreated for 500 years?

Bevo is a steer. Longhorns are not necessarily.

beast in bama said...

I'm as much for beating up on the Aggies as anyone, but now we've crossed that fine line between college football and animal husbandry.

harry hasselhoff said...

Maybe if the guys in Michigan Stadium squeezed their nuts instead of jangling their keys there'd actually be some noise during those "key plays," lol.

Just kidding, I don't want the Big House to be a freakshow. I prefer the current Alumni Cocktail Party thing.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you guys are so fucking cool. Hopefully some day I can grow up to post on college football forums about how much other schools suck, when in reality I probably wasn't accepted to that school and, truthfully, deserve to have my ballsack repeatedly smashed with a croquet mallet. It's a good thing UT, or any other school for that matter, doesn't have a fair share of rejects and "fuckups"; that would make all of this seem hypocritical, absurd, and, yes, very, very, VERY gay. Hopefully, with any luck, you will all die slow, agonizing deaths. Or, at the very least, contract herpes from the smelly vaginas of your girlfriends/wives.

Anonymous said...

everything you learned as a person changes when you enroll at a&m. you don't call them longhorns, they are called sips. it isn't the University of Texas it is t.u., you don't boo you hisssssss or laugh like a horse, and for some unknown reason you start whooooping. even in houston every so often i hear a "whoooop" aggy is an embarrassment

Anonymous said...

Funny to see obsessed whorns or steers(more like queers in real life like someone else said already) over here talking about this.

Those guys do crazy stuff just like any other corp or frat does. No big deal.

The weirdo's in austin have no life. This is proof of it.

Anonymous said...

Hasn't A&M been around longer than "the" University of Texas? If they had to maintain their own populations, I don't think UT would survive very long - males can't reproduce with one another, regardless of how hard they try in Austin.

In Texas, for those of you not from here. The Aggies are considered the conservative state school, while UT is thought of as a hippie-town with a football team the rest of us root for when they play OU and any school from Califronia. The Agg's have a lot of tradition (more than anyone outside the school will understand), but that's what sets them apart. Other schools support their teams... and that's it. Aggies take it seriously. Either appreciate their pride or shut up. Trust me, no one down in College Station gives a dmn what you think about their school.
So make some more cult references, laugh at their traditions, and they'll still have more devoted fans and alumni than your school ever will. I didn't go there, but that's just a fact.
I don't think I'd grab my nuts for my school, but then again, no one from my college has enough pride to do that on national TV... Aggies don't care one wat or the other.

Anonymous said...

More devoted fans? This is another one. They like to claim they have the best fans, yada yada yada. If thats the case...why is your stadium always empty? And why is it that you've only sold out your stadium 10 times in the past 5 years? ouch. I've seen the numbers. Before the last Tech game, attendence average was below 70K, with a stadium that holds almost 85K. And I think I read that Texas just set the state record with almost 90K against tOSU. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

You know how I know you're gay? You squeeze your balls on national TV while grinding on another dude.

Has anybody mentioned the dead doggie scoreboard? When Reveille (the collie mascot) dies, she is buried on the north end of the stadium so she can see the scoreboard. Seriously. Here is an excerpt from their website:

"When Reveille I died on January 18, 1944, she was given a formal military funeral on the gridiron of Kyle Field. She was then buried at the north entrance to the field, as all Reveilles are, facing the scoreboard so that she can always watch the Aggies outscore their opponent.


Reveille is the most revered dog on campus. Company E-2 has the privilege of taking care of Reveille. If she is sleeping on a cadet's bed, that cadet must sleep on the floor. Cadets address Reveille as "Miss Rev, ma'am." If she is in class and barks while the professor is teaching, the class is to be immediately dismissed."

We're talking about a dog, here.

A&M is whacko. And they are always throwing out the gay card. What did Freud say about that?

Anonymous said...

"...the smelly vaginas of your girlfriends/wives."

Come back here after you've tried one, you ball-squeezing, jizz jar-filling sodomite!

longhorn_steve said...

"In Texas, for those of you not from here. The Aggies are considered the conservative state school, while UT is thought of as a hippie-town with a football team the rest of us root for when they play OU and any school from Califronia"

This is such a wonderful example. Only aggies think like this, yet they have convinced themselves that the rest of the state shares this mentality.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, a hippie "town." Also your capitol CITY. Kind of funny that the largest amount of A&M alumns live in Austin isn't it? Thats according to an aggy site.

firstt said...

For the rest of the country, for anyone to call the Capitol of Texas (one of the reddest of the red states) a liberal mecca just tells you how freakishly conservative they must be. Ok let me make this a little simpler for aggy. Yes Austin is liberal… compared to Bryan/College Station or any other farming community IN TEXAS.

I love when aggy (aggy is one) tries to pass itself off as being a “casual” college football fan, it just can’t.

“no one down in College Station gives a dmn what you think about their school.”
Yost, you should really start a running feature of freakish Aggy traditions. Half the entertainment is watching them get all stirred up.

Yes Agricultural and Mechanical was established first but it wasn’t until the Constitution of 1876 finally called for the creation of a "university of the first class,". Not to worry, at least you guys are a branch of that first class university.

In 1931, the legislature voted into law the provision that Texas A&M, as a constitutional branch of The University of Texas, would receive one-third of the AUF. (Texas A&M agreed to consider itself a branch of the main university solely for the purpose of gaining access to the PUF or state funds.) And yes, they still only get a 1/3.

We still haven’t seen my favorite explanation for Aggy and it’s freakish ways. Anyone?
And what about the elephant walk? Or defending the sacred grass?

Anonymous said...

Something else that is funny. You see Horns with the "Texas Ex's" sticker, then you see the aggies with the "Former Student" sticker. In order to be a "former" student all you have to do is attend a single class. I had a discussion about this with a professor from SFA or SHSU (can't remember which) and she was telling me about this. How she went to A&M for a year but still has this sticker.

FirstT said...

"And this is a tradition because...?"

The party line they were holding to explain away their bonfire disaster was "From the inside you can't explain it, and from the outside you can't understand it" Or "well, we just always done it that there way".

What about that annual aggie hazing brainwashing ritual of freshman known as "fish camp"? I guess brainwashing and "former student" status make up for that lack of state funds.

Ah yes, Texas Agriculture & Mechanical a mystery wrapped inside... a meat judging contest.

FirstT said...

There was a time when A&M was good at football. It also coincided with
major violations of NCAA rules allowing Texas A&M to become one of three universities to receive seven public penalties imposed for such violations since 1952.

TexasBlonde said...

I am fifth generation native Texan. After seeing and hearing about several aggie traditionas, I told my teenaged son he could go to any college he wanted except A$M.

Honestly, there is a reason there are so many aggie jokes. They are the joke.

Anonymous said...

I'm an Aggie and these dumbass Corps turds that make us look like idiots on a routine basis on TV almost make me wish I had never gone to A&M.

Those 2,000 retards make the other 43,000 students look terrible.

Anonymous said...

"Something else that is funny. You see Horns with the "Texas Ex's" sticker, then you see the aggies with the "Former Student" sticker. In order to be a "former" student all you have to do is attend a single class. I had a discussion about this with a professor from SFA or SHSU (can't remember which) and she was telling me about this. How she went to A&M for a year but still has this sticker."

My father had a texas exs sticker and he never once went to ut. You used to have to join to buy season tickets back in the 80s/90s when tickets to ut games were sold for $5 at HEB.

ut fans, your obsession is noted.

Anonymous said...

if you didn't see the cult during the seattle superbowl run last year (regarding 12th man) which seattle used PRIOR to any trademark, then you missed out on that freakin cult think. at least you are getting a glimpse here.

it really takes them about 7 yrs being away from the cult to finally admit how wacko they are. brainwashing at the collegiate level is sad.

Texas should drop them from their schedule just to show them how meaningless they are.

Anonymous said...

"ut fans, your obsession is noted."

and which team won the national title this year? which team hasn't won one since 1939?

it isn't obsession, it is setting the record straight against a cult that is brainwashed. by the way how many total national championships in any sport, have aggy won? and don't include meat judging. is it more than Texas in just the past 4 years over the course of aggy entire existence?

Anonymous said...

Haha, yeah, WE'RE the ones obsessed. We're not obsessed, we are just LAUGHING at you, like the rest of the country. We don't hate you, we pity you. Poor aggy.

Anonymous said...

1) "Come back here after you've tried one, you ball-squeezing, jizz jar-filling sodomite!" Why would I want to "try" your girlfriend's disease-ridden cooter, you sick fuck? I'm not really into that, but enjoy yourself.

2) I've been going to A&M games for 8 years. I've never seen anyone participating in this 'tradition'. In fact, the only balls I've ever seen being groped were mine, by Mack Brown. He was fondling them as he asked me if he could give me head at halftime. I politely declined, and he looked awfully disappointed. Same for the "jizz jar". Didn't know it existed. That's corps shit. Refer to my earlier post about every university having fuckups (consider all of yourselves in that bunch).

3) "Yes Austin is liberal… compared to Bryan/College Station or any other farming community IN TEXAS." What's your point, limberdick? I give between 1.5 and 2 shits about the rest of the nation's political views. Why would I compare it to anything else, dumbass?

4) "After seeing and hearing about several aggie traditionas, I told my teenaged son he could go to any college he wanted except A$M." Don't worry, dipshit, with your genes, he wouldn't be accepted. A&M doesn't want your retarded little butterfly.

5) Cult blah blah... brainwash blah blah... "aggy" blah blah... I'll skip to the end of this paragraph right now: Shut the fuck up. You're not clever, and you will probably die alone and miserable.

So, in short, I don't think I'm overstepping myself when I say that you all have less than shit for brains. That should just about clear everything up; I accept your gratitude in advance. It's been fun.

Anonymous said...


looks like a meltdown by one of the cultists.

Anonymous said...

I thought aggy didn't care what other people thought about College Station and their traditions, or so some aggy said earlier.

Well, this guy cares. We must have hurt his feelings.....Sorry wittle aggy. It's okay. Go hump your friends at the next home game, and you'll feel Fran-tastic.

You gotta get better at comebacks, rather than mumbling and calling people "limberdick". Classy aggy. You are just making a fool of yourself, really.


Anonymous said...

Nice passive-aggressive, 'taking the high road but not really', response. It takes a big, and very wise, person to sit back and have a smarmy reply when someone talks back to the stupid shit they've been spewing. Pretty sure I didn't mumble, and I'm VERY sure that you have a tiny penis. Maybe you've not heard of 'venting', 'arguing for argument's sake', etc., but don't flatter yourself. My feelings don't get hurt.

And the "Fran-tastic" comment? What the fuck is that? My, how clever you are for pointing out that Fran sucks. Was that supposed to be a jab at me, at Aggies? Don't know what to make of that other than (1) You have no business surviving life to this point, and (2) Well, that's really the only option. So, next time you feel like talking (typing), tape a bag over your head until the urge leaves you. The world will thank you.

Anonymous said...

maybe he just hurt his little pee pee from squeezing so hard this past weekend.

Anonymous said...

I attend Texas A&M University and I have never even heard of "jizz jar" or squeezing until now. In fact, I bet a great majority of students have no idea about these traditions as well. This is apparently only done by one outfit in the corps and the yell leaders. The other 42000 students don't do this.

I had the opportunity to go to ut but I decided the conservative, very friendly campus of A&M was best for me. I don't understand why longhorn fans have to constantly find things negative to say about Texas A&M. Sure there are some strange and obscure traditions that very few take part in, but I love everything about A&M. Tradition is what sets A&M apart from a lot of universities and you can not judge 42000 people on the actions of 100 or so people.

People at Texas A&M are just as normal as someone from ut except we pride ourselves on traditions and being aggies. ut has football right now, (I was actually pulling for texas vs. USC) but everything goes in cycles and I believe once A&M is able to replace Coach Fran and move on, the rivalry will once again live up to what it is suposed to be.

I don't know, I probably am expecting too much considering the maturity level that internet posters show. I understand the concepts of a friend rivalry (t-shirts, fight songs, traditions, etc.), but the constant trash and hatred that people spew out on the internet is unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

It’s funny how the Corps is now suddenly some small extreme group of students who should be distanced from A&M.

Aggies seem pretty proud to use them for the whole ‘military patriotism rah rah rah’ angle whenever possible. How about when the Corps band is on the field? They’re definitely a key part of the Aggie family then.

Aggies are so proud to be different, to have ‘traditions’. Well, there’s a weird and endlessly amusing downside to this.

FirstT said...

It must be all those traditions that make the student body so happy.

Princeton Review ranks Texas A&M students among the 'Least Happy'
Texas A&M students are among the least happy students in the nation and are some of the most nostalgic for former President Ronald Reagan, according to The Princeton Review.

"I think A&M is one of the friendliest campuses anywhere," said senior chemistry major Jeff Johnson. "The traditions are great, the classes are superior, and just living in the College Station area in general is fun. Students don't have a reason to be unhappy."

But senior business major Sara Adams said she understands how A&M could make that list.

"A&M is very cliquish. If you're not in the corps, a frat, sorority or in sports, you're left out," Adams said. "Many students here are also close-minded and not representative of a large university in terms of diversity."

"With over 700 student organizations, and a thriving Greek community, A&M offers just about anything for the student who feels at home in College Station. For those who don't, life can get pretty monotonous. Writes one such student, "Nightlife consists of either going to a country bar, some smoked-filled bar teeming with other guys , going to a party (more beer and guys), or just hauling ass to Austin, Houston, or even Dallas/Fort Worth. For fun I like to dream about this upcoming August when I shall graduate and never set foot here again."

Sounds like they only interviewed the 2%ers.

FirstT said...

No doubt the "humping it" tradition was probably born within the Corps of Cadets.
Obviously, there is a reason for this kind of behavior and Maxim magazine just shed a little light on the subject. In Maxim's latest college ranking…


"...fans may not be doing a lot of kissing in the stands, but if you’ve glimpsed College Station’s female populace, you know that’s no jagged pill"

Go Blue, Eh! said...

Before seeing the squeezing of the balls, I thought the best words to describe A&M's traditions were "quaint" and "quirky". Now I think "deranged" and "demented" are much more appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Cadet to Commadant: Commandant, how do you tell if your roommate is gay?

Commandant: I don't know, his johnson tastes like shit I guess.

David said...

My favorite part is when an aggy says you can't blame all for the acts of a few of their morons, then in the next breath says their traditions are what set them apart from everyone else. Newsflash: those acts only "a few" do that misrepresent "the many", ARE your traditions. You are either proud of them or not, you don't get to say you don't like them but then take pride in having them.

Anonymous said...

My favorite part is when David begs me to dangle my scrote into his open mouth.

Anonymous said...


that response was from someone in aggyland not austin, yet they are the ones always talking about ghey and fhags.

i hope they lose to baylor again.

Anonymous said...

It's no wonder the rest of the state calls you sips arrogant.

Anonymous said...

the only idiots to call the Texas Longhorns sips are from that cult in college station. you think if you said sip in calif, michigan, florida, they would know wtf you were talking about, you have been brainwashed - seek help now. from the aggy responses, most would agree, your mascot shouldn't be aggy, but idiots.

now go bash your coach and your mediocre team.

FirstT said...

Even aggy smack is so “steeped in tradition” you can’t understand it. To label someone teasip in the late 1800’s was “good bull”. Since A&M was an all male school composed mostly of farm boys, UT grads were considered elitist and apparently therefore drank a lot of tea. Aggy also has a hand gesture to represent “teasipping”.

Here are some definitions to help the those who want to better understand these fascinating creatures (from the school website and wiki)

Once the "12th Man" assumes the "humping it" position (bending over with the hands placed just above the knees, properly aligning the back, mouth and throat for maximum volume) the yell begins. After an Aggie home victory, the Yell Leaders are thrown into the Fish Pond, then a Yell Practice is held
· The Aggie War Hymn - A song about the schools rival tu
· Bad Bull - Something that goes against school spirit
· B.Q. - Band Qualified, or slang for "Band Queer", A Fightin' Texas Aggie Band member
· BTHOTU - Stands for "Beat the hell outta t.u."
· C.T. - Cadet in Training, or slang for "Corps Turd", A member of the Aggie Corps of Cadets
· The Chicken - Short for "The Dixie Chicken," a popular bar on Northgate (a row of establishments lining the north side of campus).
· Dead Elephant - A senior in their last semester of study.
· Good Bull - Anything that supports Aggie Spirit.
· Horse laugh - Instead of booing, Aggies do a "horse laugh," or hissing noise.
· Hullabaloo - First word of the Aggie War Hymn (Hullabaloo! Canek! Canek!)
· M.S.C. - Memorial Student Center, dedicated to Aggie's who have died in wars, past, present, and future.
· Mug/Muggin' down - Kissing your date when the football team scores.
· Non-Reg - Aggies not in the corps of cadets.
· Old Army - "Back in the Day" Refers to the time when TAMU was a military school only
· "Pisshead "- A sophomore in the Corp of Cadets
· "Pulling Out" - Saying the class year, a word, or the wildcat of the year above you. (It is good bull to do this as long as someone is present to make you "push")
· "Pushing" - The consequence for pulling out or watching someone of an equal or higher class push.
· "Red-ass "- A term for an Aggie that goes out of their way to show their Aggie spirit.
· "Serge butt" - a junior in the Corps of Cadets. A reference to the pleated serge on the rear of the pants that was formerly a junior privilege.
· "tea sip" - Student of University of Texas
· t.u. - "texas university," A&M students' name for the University of Texas, since Aggies do not view this as the University of Texas, but merely a Texas university. Also, the school is sometimes called "Texas University".
· 2%'er - A reference to the two percent of the student body which does not participate in the Aggie Spirit.
· Uncover - Taking off one's hat when entering the MSC or doing a yell. Frequently yelled out as a command; it means: "please take your hat off!"
· Walk - When a professor doesn't show for class or when Reveille barks in class (in theory, anyway), it means class is skipped/let out early.
· Whipping out - In the Corps of Cadets, underclassmen's formulaic introduction of him/herself to an upperclassmen.
· Whoop! - An Aggie's exclamation towards anything positive or good bull. Juniors and seniors are the only ones allowed to say this (except for sophomores pulling out, of course!)
· Wildcat - Each class has a yell only it can do. Each wildcat also has its accompanying hand motions.
o Fish - AAAAAAAAAAAA! (hands held straight overhead): Symbolic of a freshman running, hands over his head, from an upperclassman. Unlike the other wildcats which have a distinct number of A's, the freshman yell is simply one long, drawn-out A sound.
o Sophomores - A! A! A! A! A! (index fingers extended with thumbs perpendicular, waved up and down in front of torso in time with the A's): Symbolic of the sophomore's attitude toward upperclassmen (i.e., pushing back).
o Juniors - A! A! A! Whoop! (like the sophomore, but for the whoop, join hands together with left hand fingers covering the right. extend the index fingers and point towards the ground): Symbolic of the junior's attitude toward upperclassmen (i.e., readying a gun to kill the upperclassman and take his place). The fingers of the right hand are covered because the student has not earned their Aggie Ring.
o Seniors - A! Whoop! (similar hand configuration as end of junior, but with fingers interlocked, and point up in the air and raise right foot off the ground to tuck right toes behind left knee). Symobolic of the expert marksmanship of the senior, taking only one shot, taking the wildcat down, and a whoop for excitement. The fingers are interlocked to show off the student's Aggie Ring.

Lat22 said...

Re: the dead doggie scoreboard. When they rebuilt their north end zone, everybody got pissed because the dead mascots in the graveyard would no longer be able to see the scoreboard in the stadium. They installed a real life functioning scoreboard right next to the dog cemetary so they could "watch" the score. The only people in the universe who thinks aggy is cool is aggy himself.

Anonymous said...

The only people in the universe who think it's cool to refer to graduates of a school with a singular noun (such as "aggy") deserve to have their entire family watch them being gangraped by gorillas. Same goes for people who take the time to copy and paste text from a school's site, and boldface things that grade-schoolers would giggle at because the words can have sexual connotations. lolol omg he said "nuts" lolol.

Get a fucking life.

FirstT said...

A&M ponders scathing words in wake of Bonfire tragedy
For the past week, the tightly knit Texas A&M community has absorbed with a heavy heart the conclusion that "cultural bias" and "tunnel vision" led to the November 1999 Bonfire tragedy that killed 12 students.

Some members of the A&M community feel that the Special Commission on the 1999 Bonfire's scathing words could easily be applied to other facets of the university, and may prevent it from reaching its goal of becoming one of the nation's top public colleges in 20 years.

"Texas A&M doesn't look at any of its problems unless it's forced to look at them," said Irwin Tang, a 1992 Texas A&M graduate who published a book about the Bonfire tragedy in March that mirrored many of the conclusions in last week's report.

Critics say the school is inhospitable to minorities and intellectual freedom, and officials are showing the same "tunnel vision" that led to the Bonfire tragedy in refusing to admit the extent of these problems.

"The biggest problem is that all of the top-notch universities Texas A&M is trying to compare itself to have a tradition of free speech and academic freedom," said chemistry professor Danny Yeager. "Dissenting views are actively discouraged here (by threat of gorilla gang rape).

Yeager said he knows of colleagues from other institutions who were impressed with A&M's chemistry department but turned down positions because they thought the school is "too bizarre."

Another popular school phrase is "2 percenters," which refers to students who do not participate in Aggie traditions.

Despite the obvious marginalizing intent of this phrase, Lawson said there is no pressure on students or faculty to conform.

Senior Suzanne Strauss calls herself a "half-percenter" because she disdains most of A&M's traditions.
"When it comes to the point that people are dying, it's time to look at the Bonfire tradition for what it really is," she said. "It's a silly five-story fire about a football game."
Strauss said she is frequently the only student in her class who speaks out against the traditions, and others immediately criticize her. She said she is Christian, but many students don't think she is Christian "the right way" and try to proselytize her.

Yeager and A&M biology professor Hugh Wilson have been outspoken critics of the Bonfire for years because of environmental concerns. Yeager said he was chastised by school administrators for criticizing the Bonfire on CNN shortly after the tragedy, but he declined to comment further for this article.

Wilson said his office window that displays posters criticizing the Bonfire was broken with a brick two weeks ago.

He said the school will never change unless it brings in more leaders from the outside.

"Inbreeding hurts organizations," he said.

Anonymous said...

For the past week, the tightly knit MZone community has absorbed with a heavy heart the conclusion that "too much spare time" and "being a fucktard" led to the October 2006 posts by user 'firstt'.

Fuck a woodchipper.

FirstT said...

Cult recruiters rank A&M #1.
Lured by the prospect of gaining converts at Texas A&M University, a church group that's been branded a cult by critics and banned from college campuses around the nation is planning to set up a church in the Bryan-College Station area.

"We want to get down there as soon as we can," said Randy Moon, an evangelist with the Dallas-Fort Worth Church of Christ Jesus, an affiliate of the International Church of Christ.

High-pressure proselytizing by the church's local affiliates, particularly of sometimes lonely and vulnerable young people, has sparked opposition from former members who complain the church tried to control their lives.

Nothing that the church has been branded a cult by experts who say it uses mind-control techniques to keep members within the fold, the Rev Michael Sis, director of St Mary's Catholic Center in College Station, said a local affiliate of such a group raises serious concerns that transcend denominational differences.

"This group has been mentioned consistently...as a problematical mind-control group," Sis said. "We can as a community identify them as a high-pressure group and a mind-control group. We can be aware that they are internationally problematic. We can warn young people about the characteristics of such groups and we can help people avoid being lured into them."

Moon declined to extensively discuss the question of whether the church is a cult, saying, "Who defines that word and what does it really mean?"

"The difference between a lot of churches out there and the International Church of Christ is whatever Jesus taught is non-negotiable," he said. "So not only do we teach it because that's what the Bible says, like Jesus we expect each other to live it out."

Moon said no decision has been made on whether the Bryan-College Station church will seek to get an affiliated student Bible club recognized as an officially sanctioned campus group at A&M or Blinn College.

Anonymous said...

what a bunch of freaks. this has to be a joke, nobody acts that weird. those people embarass humanity.

Anonymous said...

I go to Texas A&M, and I gotta tell ya, I don't fit in here at all. I LOATHE these stupid traditions and everyday I wake up wondering, why didn't I go to school in Austin like my older brother? I guess it's because I don't have any friends going there. Our football team sucks, our mascot sucks, the corps sucks, and all their little rituals... grrr! I will never say howdy again. I feel more embarrassed about my school than anything else. They have cheers for everything, even morons who cheer for their dorms. "Go north side! South side sucks!" Eat my feces. I feel like such an idiot for coming to this lame school. I would never tell someone from out of texas that I am from texas A&M just because it embarrasses me.

Anonymous said...

I went to an aggie midnight yell only twice, and I used some of their own traditions against them. Like, whenever they mentioned the name of the other team, I "whooped" when everyone else hissed (this got me a lot of dirty looks), and everytime we did the wildcat call, I did the freshman call only with my hands in a "hook 'em horns" gesture up in the air. None of this would not normally have been very funny if it weren't for the fact that aggies around me just got too mad over stupid things like that. There are overhyped longhorns out there as well, but nowhere near as many as there are aggies.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 12:22

Look on the bright side: at least you're not some pathetic punkass making up a story about where you go to school. Err...

Don't worry, we'd be embarrassed to have you.

Anonymous said...

This "jizz jar" tradition has been happening a long time now. This raises an interesting question....with jars of this laying around, has any of these male cheerleders got their clam chowder jar mixed up with this jar? sooner or later its gotta happen, probability shows it.

Brent said...

Texas A&M's 2000 strong Corps of Cadets is lead by a three star general and provides MORE commissioned officers to the United States Armed Forces than any other school outside of the service academies. In fact, A&M was established as a senior military college and is still considered to be so under federal law. A&M's Corps of Cadets has also produced 7 Medal of Honor Winners and over 225 and generals and admirals. Aggies have served in the armed forces in every war and conflict since the Spanish American War including the present day Iraqi War. There have have been thousands of cadets from the Corps at A&M who have died including many who have died recently in Iraq. It is sad to see that their ultimate sacrifice is being slammed. This "sqeeze" tradition is rarely, if ever, seen and I in fact have never done this or heard of it. It is indeed silly looking; however, THE IGNORANT COMMENTS FROM TEXAS FANS IN RESPONSE TO THE CLIP ARE ERRONEOUS AND HURTFUL TO THE THOUSANDS OF AGGIES WHO CURRENTLY SERVE THIS NATION. As someone who is in the process of contracting with the US Army and on behalf of the thousands of cadets from A&M who have died serving America, I would appreciate it if those who made such horrid and uneducated comments educate yourself in some history and accept how your ridiculous and ignorant words hurt Aggie soldiers and their families.

Check this clip out if your at all curious of A&M's valiant and impressive military involvement.

If you are a bit more curious, ask George Bush why he built his Presidential Library at Texas A&M. Or ask the current Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, who was the recent president of A&M, about the crucial importance that A&M serves in this great country's military.

"The men of Texas A&M can stand up to any men in the world and compare favorably their education and training for leadership -- leadership in the pursuits of peace, and if it comes to war, leadership in battle."

--Gen. Omar Bradley, 1950

"No more convincing testimony could be given to the manner in which the men of Texas A&M lived up to the ideals and principles inculcated in their days on the campus than the simple statement that the Congressional Medal of Honor has been awarded to six former students, that 46 took part in the heroic defense of Bataan and Corregidor, and that nearly 700 are on the list of our battle dead."

--Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1946

"When their country calls, Texas Aggies go to war. From the
Spanish-American War and World War I to Operation Iraqi
Freedom, Aggies have been in the forefront of America's armed
forces, producing MORE officers than any other school outside the
service academies. More than 20,000 Texas Aggies served in
World War II, for instance, including more than 14,000 as
commissioned officers. Trained in leadership and the knowledge
required for warfare, Aggies have served with distinction in all
branches of the military service." President George H. W. Bush

Kyle said...

I go to a school in the Big XII not mentioned in any of the posts thus far and, as I have seen both teams (A&M and UT) play us in our stadium and their stadiums I think I can post fairly objectively:

Worst fan I have ever seen: a 45 year old UT fan that made fun of my school as an academic institution before the game even started. I refer to these losers (many of which exist for UT) as Wal-Mart fans as they bought their shirt at Wal-Mart and then came to the game.

Worst fans as a whole (entire Big XII included here): A&M hands down. They don't respect anything another school does (their band will play anytime the home team is running onto the field, celebrating an alumni, etc) and then claim they're celebrating some ridiculous tradition. They are a cult, and Kyle Field (football stadium) is their altar. Not to mention that they aren't even good, but that's another matter.

Kyle said...

Oh, one more note:

The aggies brag about all of their war contributions and congratulations to you. On that note, if you contribute so much, why was it my school that had to cancel it's football program for 2 years because all of our students were part of the war effort?

And we've been around since 1845, much longer than a&m or UT.