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Saturday, September 16, 2006

SE7EN

It's almost a sin how good this Saturday is for the college football fan: seven games pitting 14 ranked teams against each other. As such, we take a look at each game and which of the seven deadly sins they correspond to.

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GLUTTONY

Michigan vs. Notre Dame - The fatcats of college football: the two winningest programs in both victories and winning percentage, with the Irish even having their own network. Besides, any game involving Charlie Weis goes here.

GREED

USC vs. Nebraska - USC has gotten everything a program could ever want in the last few years, but they want more. So instead of having a down year as they should after losing so much talent, they simply reloaded and scheduled one of the top programs in history to come to LA and get taken out behind the woodshed

SLOTH

Texas Tech vs. TCU - Sorry Horned Frog and Red Raider fans, but anybody watching this game on OLN with all these other great games on is simply too lazy to find the remote to turn the fucking channel.

ENVY

Oregon vs. Oklahoma - Each pre-season, the Ducks are on everybody's short list of BCS contenders. But each season, they seem to come up short or, even worse, are snubbed by the BCS for "bigger" names. So they've brought in the Sooners, the sort of traditional power they aspire to be thought of in the same breath in an attempt to change things for 2006.

WRATH

Florida vs. Tennessee - Let's face it: these two teams hate each other. Put it this way, you know programs hate each other when one head coach openly mocks the other as Steve Spurrier used to do with his "You can't spell Citrus without the UT" taunt. And the animosity at the fan level is just as intense.

PRIDE

Louisville vs. Miami - They're one of the three winningest college football programs the last five years, yet folks are already writing Miami off this season after a three point loss to Florida State with something like 78 'Cane players suspended due to various rules violations. Louisville is a 4 1/2 point favorite and is higher ranked, yet many are picking Miami. Even Chad Henne's old high school coach wants to know which team has more pride.

LUST

LSU vs. Auburn - This is the game of the year in the SEC, and any college football worth his salt should have a boner just thinking about it. Couple this with the fact that ESPN's Gameday crew secretly desires they were at this game instead of in L.A. on Saturday.

24 comments:

Ass, Grass, or Cash - no one gets the Heisman for free said...

So, how big will the riots be if Notre Dame, the Bucks, UGA or the winner of LSU/Auburn go undefeated all year, but only the Bucks and ND get to play for the title screwing the SEC champ again? Big Blue, you see your duty ahead of you. Only you can keep both the Bucks and ND out this and win a date with UGA, LSU or AU.

beast in 'bama said...

Couldn't agree more with ass/grass/cash, but he's leaving USC out of the equation. THEY are now the 800-pound gorilla in the room.

And if ND loses to Michigan and then takes out USC, then all the other teams in the mix have to be letter perfect in order to keep their heads above ND and go to Arizona in January. You can't have ANY slip-ups when there's a halfway decent ND in the mix; they'll jump you in the polls every time.

I hate to say it, but the road to the MNC goes through Los Angeles again this year.

Anonymous IV said...

This was a quality post. But I must add I hope that TCU runs the table and along with an undefeated SEC team they take a red hot fire poker to the BCS.

Anonymous said...

20 bucks ESPN steals this

beast in 'bama said...

Both Anon and Anon IV are right, Yost. This is a terrific post. Your English Lit prof would be proud of you. I'm surprised more people haven't responded to it.

I also have a question regarding lesser known conference rivaries...

We all know about Florida-Tennessee, but over the past six years, the SEC West champion has been decided in the Auburn-LSU game.

Before the division split in the SEC, Auburn and LSU rarely played, but when they did it was almost always a classic. With so much at stake, this is getting to be a nasty rivalry - on par with Auburn-Florida in years past.

That's what got me wondering, I'll bet you guys in Big 10/11 land don't know much about the sheer hatred that exists between Auburn and Florida.

What are some of the really good rivalries that fly somewhat under the radar in the Big 10/11? Next to Michigan, who gets under a Buckeye's skin the most? As a Michigan fan, which conference game not involving UM makes you go "this oughta be a streetfight?"

J said...

Nice job... Only one "expert" we've seen (Horowitz from Sporstline) has the guts to pick Michigan in the biggest game of the week.

Anonymous said...

I suppose Spurrier could've also said "You can't spell cunt without UT, either!"

Great post guys -- dig it. LOL

Anonymous said...

As a Buckeyes fan I hate Wisconsin. They ruin everything.

Anonymous said...

http://www.iforgotagain.com/gcards/dumbanddumber.htm

Mark May did pick Michigan.

Anonymous said...

Muck Fichigan

Anonymous said...

The difference between Auburn in 2004 and Auburn 2006 is that we played an OOC game against a major conference opponent in Washington St. this year and secondly, we are playing Florida instead of Kentucky.

That means we will have to play 4 games against top 10 teams. No other team will have a schedule that rough.

1. #6 LSU
2. #7 UF
3. #10 UGA
4. SEC East winner

We will not be left out this year IF we go undefeated. Every other team will be fighting for the second spot.

Yost said...

Anon,

Speaking of rough schedules, Michigan has:

#1 Ohio State on the road
#2 ND on the road
#16 Iowa
#25 Penn St on the road

Anonymous said...

Ditto on the great post comments Yost.

trenchdoc said...

Firstly, awesome post.
I do hope the Horned Toad's carry on as my wife is an alum... and yes, they are Horny indeed.

Reed4AU said...

There should be 8 deadly sins, the eighth being stupidity.

This week's matchup: ABC vs. the BCS(5 time yearly repeating champ of utter stupidity.) Although the BCS is off this week they're getting credit for the stupid shit that will most certainly come later to ruin the season. The BCS will obviously take the season, but ABC is the clear winner this week for a ride on the short bus. The USC game won't be horrible, but there are 3 freakin games that would and should have been the choice for gameday. So FU gameday and the evil empire monopoly that controls you. My only hope is that they provide that ESPN 360 crap with the USC game and Mark May and Lou Holtz both die from seizures.

~CW~ said...

Awesome post.

masked avenger said...

Beast in Bama,

Most Michigan fans would list our rivalries in the following order: (1) OSU; (2) ND; and (3) MSU. MSU comes in third merely because they are not a historical power like the other two and do not have the same amount of sucess against UM (although they do have stretches where they do well).

Various BIG-10 upstarts have had short-term rivalries with UM, but none has had the continuded sucess needed to make a true rivalry.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

that is one of the finest pieces of art i've ever seen! fucking brilliant, guys!

beat the irish for, well, america. those damn media hounds.

Zach
The Dish
http://www.udubdish.com

Marcoux said...

I still don't understand how FSU-Clemson isn't one of the "Big 7". ESPN omitted it too. We all know how the Texas Tech vs TCU game will effect the BCS landscape and all, but come on.

Anonymous said...

Trenchdoc That was a softball you should never leave yourself open like that.

Anonymous said...

Beast in Bama. I really hate Northwestern they are upstarts and they are scary to me because Michigan takes these guys lightly sometimes. And they run that pesky Smart Ass Spread Offense. The other one is IOWA man those guys are well coached, play above their talent, and never give up. Both are fine programs and worhty of semi-rival status

Yost said...

Marcoux,

Clemson isn't ranked. All the teams in the 7 games listed are ranked.

Anonymous said...

Great post -- you guys are so creative!

This note is for Zach the Dish:

The Irish will beat Michigan for America!

PS: GO NOLES AND GO Tennessee

Jonner said...

That last guy was sort of off on his 3 choices :)