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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Why Playboy is the best college football pre-season mag

So I'm reading the Playboy college football issue (yes, reading, you sick bastards) and I've come to the conclusion it's the finest pre-season publication in all the land.

Sure, Ohio State is their #1 pick but that's ok. I'll let that slide as it's a popular choice this season. At #2, they chose West Virginia but, in their analysis state, "We're not claiming West Virginia is the second-best team in the nation, only that its easy schedule makes a number two finish entirely possible."

I nod to myself in total agreement. I mean, that's exactly what I was talking about when I said here on the MZone last month that the Mountaineers aren't BCS champ caliber.

These guys are spot on.

As I ponder their examination of the other top teams, I glance over at the opposing page and come face-to-face with this...



Yes, where else can you read a blurb about the classy Joe Paterno being their 2006 Coach of the Year and his "living legend" status while being confronted in the next breath with a cartoon of a guy munching box on a train.

Turning to the back of the magazine where the not-quite-good-enough teams are, I go searching to find Michigan's #19 ranking. Before I can shake my head at Playboy's 8-4 prediction, I see the ad in the upper right-hand corner for the "Peek-a-Boo" open front lingerie set...


Suddenly, 8-4 isn't my main concern anymore. No, I'm wondering if I can talk my girl into some "Peek-a-Boo" panties. I can live with 8-4 if I can get my girl into a pair of these.

So forget Phil Steele, Athlon and SI. If you're a true college football fan and want to read a pre-season publication that will make you not give a rat's cornhole when your team is picked in the low teens, Playboy is definitely the way to go.

Editor's Note: I noticed in the Peek-a-Boo lingerie ad it says "One size fits S-M-L." Folks, not to be rude, but if your girl is an "L," maybe you should reconsider your Peek-a-Boo panties purchase. Besides, at this size, all her lingerie already is of the Peek-a-Boo variety. I'm just saying.

14 comments:

tyrone butterfingers said...

I also find it amusing that there is an ad for "Mandelay" next to the UM preview. How fitting, a team that can't hold a 4th quarter lead and a product for men who can't hold an orgasm.

Becky said...

I just feel bad you have to talk her into the peek-a-boos. You should be focused on talking her OUT of them.

#19... nothing like the pressure of low expectations!

harry hasselhoff said...

I am not sure what is more disturbing - this much time spent talking about "peek-a-boo" lingerie or someone with the psuedonym "tyrone butterfingers" talking about reading Playboy and noticing ads for "Mandelay."

BTW, is it me or are these word verification phrases getting ridiculously long?

Cock D said...

Hey - what's that damn cartoon say anyway.... its too small and i cant read it.

is it funny?

Yost said...

Harry,

I know, I feel like I'm about to launch the missles half the time.

CD,

No.

ShaunTX said...

cockd, no it's not all that funny. just a couple on a train doing every position that is impossible, then getting to their next gig - a Circus ;)

srudoff said...

holy crap, becky's pic doesn't come through on IE at work but sure does on firefox. couple that with what she typed......

how do you NOT have her in your co-ed showdown????

CaliGirl said...

I don't mind Playboy's ranking of us. I'd rather start out on bottom and work my up....it's more exciting that way. What fun would it be to ALWAYS start on top?

Cock D said...

Caligirl - you're talking about football, right?

Papa Steve said...

Hmmm...I'm thinking Becky vs. Caligirl in a showdown

Becky said...

I am most appreciative of the compliment, but rest assured I am FAR too old to participate in the Co-Ed Showdown!

CaliGirl said...

Yes, I am talking about football...men, I swear :o) I guess that is what Playboy does to you.

Becky, I am there with you. I am passed the age of college co-ed show downs. But I too thank you for the compliment!

Yost said...

My apologies to the ladies present.

We are so predictable, aren't we?

Philip said...

I have to say that I've missed the issue. I either need to renew my subscription or run out to buy a copy.