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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Chris Wells Action Figure

Ohio State freshman running-back-to-be Chris Wells has yet to even play a game for the Bucks but expectations for him in Columbus are high. How high? There is already an action figure of him being sold. Behold...

Our favorite part? No, not all the helmet stickers though he has zero carries. Look closely at the third picture (click for larger view) -- he's already sporting a Buckstache.

Uh oh.

You know, you'd think Buckeye fans would learn about putting so much pressure and such lofty expectations on a freshman running back. Last time they did that, it didn't work out so well for the running back.

As such, we here at the MZone are already hard at work on what the Chris Wells 2009 action figure might look like...

Lint roller in right hand may be replaced with hatchet. Escalade and automatic weapons not included.

Many thanks to Austin Dave for the tip!

UPDATE: Apparently, the Wells figurine is not for sale. He was handmade by a Buckeye fan and just goes on a shelf with the other 8,000 at the home of the 40 Year Old Virgin.


Anonymous said...

Are you kidding me they, tFUCKEYES, will take that if it means another National Championship at ANY COST!

Andy said...

They compare him to Eddie George...which is fine with me.

The Bucks went 1-2-1 against the Wolves during his time at tOSU

OJ Simpson said...

It looks like I got to Teddy Ginn in this one...

Anonymous said...

I'm not a lawyer, but isn't this illegal?

Boomer Bear said...

Since college football season starts in 2 days and since ND-mich is only 18 days away I thought I would the chorus to the victors in michigan's honor:

Hell! to the schmucks from Ann Arbor,
Hell! to the overrated!
Hell! Hell! to Michigan
they cannot beat the best!
Hell! to the schmucks from Ann Arbor,
Hell! to the overrated!
Hell! Hell! to Michigan,
they should join the Mountain West!

B - I hope you like my song! It is sure to be an instant classic.

"The Bear"

surrounded in columbus said...

leave the lyrics to the Dukies. they're better at it. ND fans should stick to timing their D- backs w/ sun dials.

ShaunTX said...

Without a single carry? Wow, those buck stickers are pretty easy to come by these days.

Also, he needs to change numbers. Adrian Petersons #28 has officially been retired at all schoolts.

Anonymous said...

i'm almost hoping that there's another buckeye scandal some time soon because man do you guys know how to take something and run it into the ground until it's not funny anymore...

CaliGirl said...

CLASSIC! Thanks for making me laugh first thing in the morning. Wonder what I need to NOT have done to get an action figure made out of me??

The King said...

Yeah, the second anonymous guy is right. This is illegal. You can't profit off the names of college football players, which is why retailers can't sell pre-made jerseys with player names on the back and EA Sports can't put player names in the NCAA sports games.

Anonymous said...

with the action figure when does the saturday morning cartoons come out for the buckeyes?

they already have the cereal now


can any team be more full of themselves?

Andy said...

I don't think that this dude is selling any of his ohio state toys -- it just looks like he paints and photographs them.

I've gotta give him props for the nice one of Tom Brady from the 2000 Orange Bowl.

The King said...

So it looks like we here at MZone are sort of taking creative license, as usual, with this one.

Those figures aren't for sale. It's just some Buckeye fan who, for the most part, repaints (very well) existing figures made by McFarlane toys.

They're not for sale. Just cool fan artwork.

Anonymous said...

Well toodley-freakin-doo. I should send this one into Cowherd. Way to not do the "research" you morons.

TrojansRback said...

Although very much out of style, the mustache can still be seen on (a) porn stars, (b) Iraqis, (c) Buckeyes

Anonymous said...

I'm not surprised by the inaccurate post. Basic reading comprehension is a little beyond the average Michigan grad.

Keep up the good work!

Badger Tracker said...

You know, I always felt that blogs, as a medium, are somewhat anonymous, so commenters should feel free to be equally anonymous when posting.

However, this thread has convinced me that the people worth reading all have logins, and the anonymous posters are mostly braindead.

Except Boomer Bear. What the hell kind of lyrics are those? Have you even heard the song?

Anonymous said...

Oh you stupid Michigan fans......
1) It's not hard to earn Buckeyes on your helmet when we play you; all you need to do is show up cause you suck.
2) Tressel's been spotted driving a new vehicle he "owns" it's called a "Lloyd Carr" apparently it's a piece of sh.it though
3) Stop crying now that it's our turn to kick tail...you owned Cooper, we booted him, now we own your ass and will own it again this year

Che said...

These most recent anonymous posters certainly suffer from mental deficiencies. Can't we all just laugh about things that are funny together?

Plus, Maurice Clarett is still funny. The Maurice Clarett Story is far from being run into the ground. I don't even think we've heard the last chapter.

CaliGirl said...


I have to agree, all the Clarett jokes are absoulutely HILARIOUS! I don't care who you are, that's funny right there! However, it is MUCH better knowing he is a tFuckeye.

Seriously, those were lame lyrics, I have heard MUCH better versions of our fight song being mocked. :o)

matsut said...

Wow...you got a chuckle out of a fan of tCable Guy...UR AWSUM.

Are you people really so confused and depressed over the state of your program that you need to tar every Buckeye fan and player with the misdeeds/idiocy of a few? This season is the effing FOURTH since Clarett suited up; he's not a Buckeye any more. Chris Wells is just a kid - do you really think it's cool to photoshop in weapons and Grey Goose? Do no players for or fans of UM wear mustaches?

It's really a shame. I enjoy reading MGoBlog and the MZone most of the time because they're well written and insightful, and I like to "know thine enemy", so to speak. "Enemy" might even be too strong a word, "rival" is probably more fitting in my case - I'm one of those tOSU fans that wants UM to win every game but the Ohio State one; that makes it a better win for us, you see.

Oh, well. Go ahead and flail away at me - I'm obviously some kind of full-of-myself, cheating, porn-stached "tFuckeye" (what's THAT t stand for, anyway?) fan that's in denial about how on target all these jabs REALLY are.

Yost said...

Since when is a lint roller a weapon?

matsut said...

When it's situated next to an assault rifle, of course! All right, so there's no weapons in your fake picture. I screwed up - a little. I stand by the rest of my comment - anything to say about anything else I said, beeyotch?

matsut said...

Plus: Do I even get any credit for spelling "Grey" correctly? (I know my effing vodkas - no "Gray" to be found here...

Anonymous said...

I just came across this while doing some research online. This is my website and these are my figurines.

I am very proud of the figurines that I have made and love showing them off. As mentioned above, these figurines are NOT for sale.

Do you usually jump to conclussions like this?