Reading EDSBS the other day, I saw a post about Jenn Sterger's Q&A column on SI.com. Apparently, people from across America email Sterger, a girl who's in that uniquely American Paris Hilton-esque category of being famous for being famous, to ask her advice on a variety of matters.
Makes perfect sense. I mean, obviously a girl who entered the public consciousness because she wore a bikini to a 'Noles game because somebody allegedly spilled beer on her and, allegedly, that's all she had to wear, knows a thing or two about everything from sports to fashion to relationships.
But do actual human beings really email Jenn Sterger to answer life's mysteries for them? Well...
Somebody named "Tyler Boyle" of Mesa, Arizona wrote, "Do girls really care how much a guy can bench?"
Dude. Dude, dude, dude.
Listen, "Tyler," if you really felt that the need to ask this question was so great that you logged onto your
Seriously, dude. Get ahold of yourself.
Now, you'll notice that I put "Tyler's" name in quotes above. That's because I still don't believe these emails are written by real people just trying to get a little life clarity from Jenn Sterger. In fact, I called directory assistance while writing this to see if I could track down a number for a "Tyler Boyle" of Mesa, Arizona. I wanted to ask him if he really wrote this or some college buddy was playing a joke on him. Like taking the "Free Dianetics Personality Test" under the name of the fucker who stole your girlfriend then wondering if he ever was able to get off the Scientology mailing list.
Unfortunately, 411 had no number for a "Tyler Boyle" in Mesa. That obviously doesn't mean he doesn't live and exist there. I mean, if "Tyler" is real and actually wrote the email to Jenn, I'm guessing he still lives with his parents and thus the phone isn't listed in his name. But it does make me wonder about "Tyler Boyle."
The other "reader question" that had me shaking my head was from "Daniel" in Huntington Beach, California, who - for reasons that will become clear by his question - didn't use "his" last time. Ol' Danny boy writes: "I'm 43 years old, in good shape, and have been dating a woman who is 26. We are not communicating in areas besides sports. We met at the gym and both like sports (USC, Lakers, Angels). How would you suggest we bridge the age gap?"
See, right there, due to the very question itself, I have doubts about the veracity of "Daniel's" email, too. Because if "Daniel" is an actual 43 year old guy dating a 26 year old girl he met at a gym in Southern California, in an upscale area such as Huntington Beach, he doesn't need advice on the subject from Jenn Sterger. He's either some shallow, rich guy who drives a Porsche and thus doesn't give a rat's cornhole how the communication is going with little Miss 26 as long as the sex is good, or, he is indeed a confident, well-adjusted guy witty, charming and good-looking enough to score a 26 year old at a SoCal gym and, as such, doesn't sit around writing emails to folks like Jenn Sterger to figure out how to keep it going.
But, on the off chance, this was a real letter written by "Daniel," enjoy the moment, pal. Because trust me when I say you're not secure enough to be dating this girl for long. And I'd bet my last dollar she's going to be leaving soon, sooner if she finds out you wrote in to some chick on SI.com for advice on dating her.
Hmm. Just had a thought.
As I wrote my answers to "Tyler" and "Daniel," I'm beginning to realize how simple it is for any moron to give advice. This shit is easy. And since I'm sure Jenn can't answer all the hundreds and hundreds of emails she gets from across America, maybe I could help. "Ask Yost?" Not a bad idea.
P.S. Do any of our readers in the Mesa are happen to know "Tyler Boyle" or "Daniel" from Huntington Beach? Really interested to know if they're real.
And don't say, "How would I know 'Daniel' when he doesn't give a last name?" Trust me, if he's a 43 year old dating a 26 year old, you'll know him. He'd make sure of that.