RE: Uniform Design 475,892
Dear Duck Fans,
First off, you know we like you guys here at the MZone. Heck, a couple months ago, we named UO fans some of the classiest in the country. And we realize Nike founder Phil Knight is an alum who donates millions to the school, including money for locker rooms which we hear are the envy of NFL teams.
But for the love of God, somebody has to reign in these designs the Nike folks are forcing on you and your team. You guys are a major college football team, not contestants on Project Runway.
I mean, a while back there was that Nike-designed mascot that looked like a rejected villian out of the really shitty Batman movie starring George Clooney.
Now we get sent pix of your latest uniforms...
Sweet mother of Pearl! Where do we start?
First of all, what's with the four different styles? Just so you know, most teams have two - home unis and away unis. Period. Not a different design for each month of the college football season. Christ. You guys have more wardrobe changes than a Madonna concert.
And let's talk helmets. Rule of thumb: use one. Not three. Then again, with four different uniforms, maybe this is restraint.
Finally, can somebody explain the criss-crossed silver things on the sleeves and knees? Seriously. It looks like it was inspired by the metal floors you find on a warehouse loading dock. Either that or tire treads on an F-150. But then that seems to imply somebody ran over your ass which isn't the image a football team usually seeks to portray.
Listen, like we said above, we're big Oregon fans here. My trip to Eugene was fantastic (except for the outcome of the game part). However, according to your school's press release about the new uniforms, this is the 4th major "evolution" of the football duds since Nike starting designing them in 1996. Four big ones in a decade.
Senior tight end Dante Rosario puts it this way, "Those schools, Southern California, Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn State, those teams are known for the tradition they have of not ever changing, however many years they've been playing. Maybe we're known for innovation, trying new things, pushing the boundaries of what people are used to. We're different."
Besides, doesn't anybody realize why Nike changes them so often? So the suckers who bought the 2003 model now have to go out and buy the new crap. It's not about "improving" them. It's about making a buck (or $50 mil in order to put new plasma screens in the locker room).
So please, before Phil has the Ducks taking the field in bright yellow boas and Nike-swooshed tutus, somebody needs to put a stop to this. Stat.
Just trying to help.
Your friends at the MZone
Thanks to reader Colin for the tip.