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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Curse of the Buckstache Continues

Honestly, folks, we tried. We really tried not to do a Buckstache post today. But when half our readership alerts us to the fact Santonio Holmes, former Buckeye and current Buckstacher, is arrested for the second time in a month, what's a Michigan blog to do?

To refresh, last month Holmes was arrested for disorderly conduct following his confrontation with a Miami Beach police officer. Well, that was so May.

Just after midnight on Monday, Holmes was arrested and charged with assaulting a woman. And not just any woman, mind you. But the mother of his 18 week old daughter who put it this way in her 911 call to police...

In the police report, Holmes allegedly choked her, knocked her to the ground and slammed her into a door at the apartment shown below...

Bill Cowher, coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers who drafted Holmes in the first round, had criticized the wideout after his first arrest. No word on his reaction to this latest incident.

Before the NFL draft, Holmes had said he was hopeful that he would go high in the draft so he could support his three children. Yes, you read that right - three. Hopefully the 22 year old Holmes will use some of his frist round draft money to purchase condoms.

Thanks again to all our readers who sent us the tip on this story.


Anonymous said...

Some really fine young men are coming out of Columbus these days.

jim Masterson said...

Coach Tressel will say that Holmes is no longer a part of the tosu football program since he declared for the draft. This is a University that has lost control over the athletes that represent it. jim masterson

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how you can have 3 children before you graduate from college. I mean i know how, but why would you want to do that

Anonymous said...

There must be something in the water at the tosu training center. I know that not all people who through Columbus like mexican water through an American tourist are short on genetic material, but why does it just seem that way.

Anonymous said...

3 kids while still in school.

Do they count your brand new Escalade when figuring out child support payments?

sallypierre said...

why are men (not just tosu men) so stupid?
all they have to do is jack off in a jar and store it for when they want kids, then get a vasectomy.
he's a dumbass.

Harry Hasselhoff said...

Reached for comment, Steelers' Coach Bill Cowher found the silver lining in Holmes' latest arrest. "I understand Santonio wore a helmet as he fled from his girlfriend's house on his motorcycle," Cowher pointed out. "I just wish it hadn't been his Steelers helmet."

Anonymous said...

I guess when Tressel sat Holmes out for 3 whole plays in the 2003 U-M/OSU game a week after he had been picked up by the police for a similar incident the message just didn't sink in. You'd think after such harsh punishment the young man would learn his lesson.......

"Is Santonio Holmes gonna have to choke a bitch?"

BaggyPantsDevil said...

Sometimes, the comedy just writes itself.

Not that there's anything funny about domestic abuse--or baby's mama chokin'--but the 911 transcript is priceless.

And, apparently, Pittsburg Steelers don't like wearing protection.

Yost said...

"And, apparently, Pittsburg Steelers don't like wearing protection"

Yeah, on either end.

Mr. A said...

It's one thing to have 3 kids by 3 different mothers, it's another thing to have 3 kids by 3 different mothers, get arrested twice in a 3 month span, and have the ability to master only 27 words in the English language (for the record, the words hoe, bitch, and muthafucker were left out of the equation.)

I'm often reminded of former Bills reciever Eric Moulds, who fathered 6 kids from 5 or 6 different women, yet was well spoken and by all acounts a good guy. For the record I have always hated Santonio Holmes, and am not afraid to admit that 50% of that loathing comes from the simple question "Who the fuck names there kid Santonio!

cottoncandy said...

I just feel horrible about this. Given the fine example that Michigan athletes have made within the Big 10, I just am ashamed that the character of Buckeyes athletes are so far inferior to Michigan's.

If domestic violence by players were an indicator of wins, I'm sure that the Department of Kineseology would certainly add that course in a heartbeat, and all you SCum fans would be sending in gobs of money.

utah said...


tyrone butterfingers said...

"I just am ashamed that the character of Buckeyes athletes are so far inferior to Michigan's."

Here's a tip: when using sarcasm, you are supposed to say something that is not true. The character of Buckeye players is inferior to that of Michigan players. Just compare the rap sheets since Tressel arrived.

"If domestic violence by players were an indicator of wins, I'm sure that the Department of Kineseology would certainly add that course in a heartbeat, and all you SCum fans would be sending in gobs of money."

I know OSU fans like to slip in a Kiniseology joke whenever possible (which is laughable, considering OSU offers a football class), but c'mon man, you could've found a better time to do it. Your attempt at flaming went down in flames and resulted in one of the most idiotic paragraphs I've ever seen here.

cottoncandy said...

Tyron, you're killing me. Michigan's rap sheet is twice as long as Ohio State's. That's why the fans of the rest of the Big 10 schools laugh so hard at Michigan fans, not being able to comprehend the depth of the problems that Michigan athletes have gotten into. Gawd almighty, your baseball and wrestling teams got huge NCAA sanctions for paying players. The fab 5 and their sugar daddy alone is one of the filthiest scandals in the annals of college sports.

I used to post everywhere on the internet a list of criminal accusations made against Michigan athletes, and it was huge. After 9-11 I decided to bury my hatred. same American team you know. But, there is no denying the length and stench of that rap sheet.

OSU having one football class compares an orange to the sun, to Michigan's kniesology department. Dream on Michigan Men.

tyrone butterfingers said...

My comment was referring specifically to college football players in the Tressel era. The rap sheets aren't close. Each new arrest just furthers OSU's national reputaion as a renegade program.

I'm not sure how 20-year old baseball violations and basketball violations from the 90's are relevant to that, but since you brought it up, I checked the NCAA's own website. Here's what I found:

Ohio State: 4 major violations, 2 football and 2 basketball.

Michigan: 2 major violations, 1 baseball, 1 basketball.

Also, OSU is currently on probation in three sports, Michigan in one. Michigan's ends in November.

You mentioned UM wrestling. I found nothing about UM wrestling. Are you sure you weren't getting confused with MSU wrestling?

Since college football is most relevant to this blog, I'd like to emphasize that Michigan football has ZERO major violations, while OSU has two. Both violations came under Woody "God" Hayes. Did you know he used to pay players? At least he never did anything crazy like punch an opposing player.

And UM's Kinsiseology major is no different than all the other bullshit majors that college fooball players all across the country have, like "General Studies," "Liberal Arts," etc. The fact still remains that OSU has a football class.

In summation:
OSU has more major violations, more football violations, more basketball violations, more teams currently on probation and more players arrested since Saint Tressel came to town.

Brad said...


Jake said...