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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Buckstache Curse "Unwittingly" Strikes Tosu Football Staff

Shouldn't the Buckstache have been their first clue?

Jim "Hear No Evil" Tressel and Buckeye athletics director Gene "See No Evil" Smith said they were caught unaware when it was revealed that Ohio State's just-hired director of football performance, Eric Lichter, was convicted of a misdemeanor drug possession back in 1998.

Initially charged with distributing Ritalin and Rohypnol, the date rape drug, that felony charge was dropped and Lichter pleaded guilty to possession.

So what happened?

According to Lichter's account in the Columbus Dispatch, "Unbeknownst to me, (the manager at the gym I worked at in college) was involved in drug trafficking. One night he came up to me and said, 'I've got a guy coming, can you hand him this envelope?' and I said, 'Sure, no problem.' It turned out to be a locker key (where the drugs had been stashed)."

Makes perfect sense to the Dispatch. The very title of their story is, "Coach unwittingly caught in drug sting."

Hmmm. Ok. But let me pose a question to you, our loyal readers...

Suppose you go to work tomorrow and your boss says "Hey, INSERT YOUR NAME HERE! Stop reading that goddamn Michigan blog and go give this package to Stevens next door." So, without asking what it is or taking a peek, you go next door and are immediately gang tackled by a team of FBI agents who arrest you for dealing drugs to "Stevens."

Now, maybe I'm being too hard on Mr. Lichter, but if that were me, and I didn't know jack shit about what was in that package I was delivering, I wouldn't plead guilty to ANYTHING. Certainly not a drug possession charge, for cryin' out loud. I mean, if the Domino's delivery kid didn't know the night manager was stuffing an ounce of hash under the pies, should he plead guilty?

Hey, here's an idea: maybe Tressel should bring those drug and bomb sniffing dogs they're so fond of unleashing on the U-M team bus to job interviews at the 'Shoe.

Props to "Concerned Ohioan" and Surrounded in Columbus for the tip.


Can't spell Lloyd without 2 "L's" said...

Maybe the roofies are going to be used to "Fuck Michigan".

Anonymous said...

Yea actually they had enough evidence on him for him to only get 2 years probation. Now really Yost if your boss said give this package to someone you would do it right? But suppose it was illegal and they now had you on video. That right there is probable cause to say you were aware of the drug ring and that you were guilty. Now the fact that he only got 2 years probation from that tells me he did plea it down, and the other guys probably got stuck in federal-pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

Anonymous said...

Dateline's latest installment of the internet predators had a guy with a buckstache and an OSU cap.

Anonymous said...

no way - now that's news!

Anonymous said...

sorry, but the whole 'Buckstache' thing IS getting pretty old.

sign on - swing by the M Zone - read a story featuring 'the Buckstache'

next day - repeat.

next day - repeat.

it was pretty funny - but there has to be something else out there, right?!
and so on

magnum, P.I. said...

anon 5:54,

shave your buckstache and you can join in the fun.

Ben said...

"I didn't know..."

What a bullshit story. From a legal standpoint, if he really didn't know, he doesn't take a plea agreement with a possession charge on his record. There's a mens rea requirement for drug charges... even misdemeanors.


Go Blue, Eh! said...

"can anyone match their string of off the field corruption and on the field

anyone in history?"

I'm thinking Miami and Okalhoma in the '80's. Interesting fact: Jimmy Johnson then Barry Switzer went on to coach the Cowboys. After Parcells leaves I'm predicting his replacement will be Pete Carroll or Tressel.

TideInTx said...

Now we need a picture of Eric Lichter out drinking in an Ohio bar with Frank Solich to clear up Frank's story. Right now Solich is saying, "That S.O.B. said he was giving me medication to prevent hangover!!"

Yost said...

5:30 anon,

You made my very point! Yes, if my boss had me give a package to someone, I would. BUT - if it turned out to be drugs - AND I DIDN'T KNOW AT THE TIME - I would NEVER plead guilty to a possession charge. Period.

Yost said...

5:54 Anon,

Sorry but, as long as Bucks with 'staches keep finding the wrong side of the law, we'll keep putting up posts on it.

Put it this way, even if we hadn't started the "Buckstache" thing, do you think we still wouldn't be doing a story on a Michigan blog about the Tosu football "director of performance" having a conviction for possession of "performance altering" drugs?

Anonymous said...

Yost you missed my point. I believe the details around this story were a little more complicated involving video and "concrete" evidence of him handing over the package. If he had not plead no contest he probably would have gotten a stronger sentence then just probation. Plus he was 22 I know at 22 I would have been scared as hell. Either way I am sure he is not the only one to have an arrest in their past.

cottoncandy said...

"can anyone match their string of off the field corruption and on the field"

Easily Michigan. Or have we conveniently forgotton about Ed Martin, baseball and wrestling program major violations? The FBI has not yet been involved in OSU athletics. The Michigan list is twice as long as Ohio State.

Every time I read a post about the integrity of Michigan Athletics I pee myself laughing, and it is very enjoyable.

Yost said...


Everytime I see you bringing up 10+ year old bball stuff, we all get a good laugh here.

Just so you know, Michigan gave back the NCAA money, took down the Final Four banners and basically gave itself the death penalty in bball as a result of the Ed Martin fiasco.

I'd love to see Tosu do the same if it's discovered Maurice Clarett's allegations were true. That would be the day.

Papa Steve said...

Soooo.....cottoncandy. Exactly what do you find so enjoyable? Laughing, peeing on yourself, or the combination of the two? Don't feel bad, there are lots of folks who enjoy a good golden shower and just don't have the stones to post about in public. Well done.

Yost said...

LOL, Papa Steve.

cottoncandy said...

So, alls forgotten about the fab 5: give back the money, and WOOSH, absolution!!!! Just like going to confession. And, hey, its 10 years old!! Well, the slime was 10 years old, but the Michigan Athletic Department's hiding the evidence trying to run out the NCAA's statute of limitations really means the episode only concluded a mere two and a half years ago.

That stain, which by the way, stained the entire Big 10, will last for one hell of a long time, and you chortelling and guffawing and telling yourself that Michigan gave itself the death penalty (what season was it that Michigan DIDN'T PLAY?) is pure delusional bullshit.

Any sports fan alive that's older than 21 will never ever forget the slime of Ed Martin and his basketball playing children. And the FBI and the justice department and the lies under oath by Chris Webber. And, that filth eventually leading to the hiring of Tommy Amaker, (the best gift given from Michigan to the rest of the Big 10 in 100 years.)

Laugh all you want, but there's 9 Big 10 schools that can act superior relative to OSU and the cleanliness of their program: Michigan can not.

And, all you can hang your hat on, what you masterbate at night to, the mere act of HOPING that the known liar Maurice Clarett's allegations somehow, someway are proved to be true.

Happy floggin'

tyrone butterfingers said...


You must have missed/dodged my response to you on the Santonio Holmes thread. I'll go over it again for you.

In the previous thread, I discussed major NCAA infractions. They are actually major infraction cases, which in some instances involved multiple sports. For example, in the 2006 case, the NCAA found OSU guilty of violations in 3 different sports.

Courtesy of the NCAA's own website:

Ohio State has had 4 major infraction cases involving 5 seperate teams being found guilty of violations a total of 8 times.

Football (3 seperate occasions)
Men's Basketball (2 seperate occasions)
Women's Basketball
Men's Track and Field
Women's Track and Field

Michigan has had 2 major infraction cases:

Men's Basketball

No other teams were included in those cases, and neither team has been found guilty of infractions at any other time.

I'll ask again about your wrestling accusations. The NCAA has no record of it. Are you getting confused with MSU, or are you just making things up?

When it comes to probation, OSU outdoes Michigan again.

OSU: 3 teams currently on probation until March, 2009.

UM: 1 team currently on probation until November, 2006.

Here's a list of major infraction cases by Big Ten school:

Northwestern, Penn State: 0
Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Purdue: 2
Ohio State: 4
Michigan State: 5
Illinois: 6
Minnesota, Wisconsin: 7

At least you can take solace in the fact that there are only four, not nine, Big Ten schools that can act superior over OSU in regards to cleanliness of program. Unfortunately for you, Michigan IS one of them

As far as the FBI, I believe the reason they got involved was because Martin ran an illegal gambling operation and his payments constituted money laundering. The FBI doesn't usually get involved in NCAA matters. If Steve Fisher had paid his players directly like Woody Hayes and Jim O'Brien did, it wouldn't have attracted the attention of the FBI.

Yes, Woody Hayes paid players. It's official and documented on the NCAA website. OSU football was actually involved in two different major infraction cases under Woody. This is particularly relevant being that this is college football blog.

Let me emphasize that Michigan football has ZERO NCAA infractions and has never been put on probation. Ohio State has.

In Summary:

OSU has had more major infraction cases, more overall infractions, infractions in more sports, more football infractions, more basketball infractions, more teams currently on probation, your greatest coach paid players and you like to piss on yourself.

You lose, again.

tyrone butterfingers said...

When I said only four Big 10 schools could claim superiority, I hadn't added Northwestern and Penn State to the list yet. So it's actually six Big Ten schools (including Michigan)that can claim to have a cleaner athletic history than OSU. Even worse for the Buckeyes.

Anonymous said...

well, that was fun!

now who wants to stomp the Wolverines in 'The Game' AGAIN this year?

you know, getting back to what actually matters here.

cottoncandy said...

Tyrone Butterrationalizer, how many of OSU's cases involved the US Justice Department, the FBI and local police, forensic banking experts and $600,000? You saying one bazooka is equal to one hydrogen bomb?

The OSU 1957 lunch money to poor kids and the 1978 violation for providing transportation to a poor kid may mean something to you. Okay, fine. Michigan lags OSU 2-4 in major violations.

In 1994 OSU got slapped for giving Damon Flint a gym bag and an illegal dinner. The 06 stuff is similarly minor.

Your baseball hit was for $82 large paid to high school coaches and the basketball hit was for $600 large.

And from this, you get that OSU is dirty and Michigan is clean as the driven snow. You guys stink and you can't smell it to save your ass.

Oh yea, long live Lllloyd Carr and Tommy Amaker.

Yost said...


While we appreciate your readership and comments, does it scare you even a little bit that you hang out all day on a Michigan blog get indignant when that Michigan blog doesn't exactly praise Ohio State?

johnnydanburyfan said...

LOL, he used four Ls when when wrote Lloyd's name!!! That's hilarious! You know, because he's lost four times to OSU under Tressel and stuff. And "Loss" starts with an L, just like Lloyd does! Wow, that was fucking brilliant. What a fresh take. I've never seen that before. Hey did you hear about the time someone called Alex Rodriguez "Gay-Rod"? Yeah, I bet you'd like that.

cottoncandy said...

yost, I'm hurt. I love this place!! Its one of the coolest places on the web! I can't tell you how much I admire the writing and scheme of this site. I only wish some OSU fan could create something this good.

I travel a lot and love to blast the SEC, Big 12, the Pac 10 and all other lesser schools. I do nothing but talk up Michigan and its battles with Ohio State and the beauty of the Big 10 and our traditions.

But, I love also to come on here and put pin pricks in your self congratulating echo chamber of nothing but happy happy joy joy Michigan talk. What concerns me is that you can dish it out but you can't take it.

Get a thicker skin man. Our paintballs going back and forth is what makes our rivalry the greatest rivalry in the history of earthly sport. You really want idiot Buckeye fans here to serve up nothing but mustachioed softballs? But for me, you guys would get soft.

Rock on Wolverine pussies.

Yost said...


Anybody who makes a paintball reference is ok in my book. Rock on, CC.

Brad said...

cc, don't forget your cooler in your travels. No self-respecting Buckeyer would.

Anonymous said...

"Unwittingly" lol. Man how can anyone complain about Buckstache posts, updates, and happenings? Face it, if their wasn't a curse of the Buckstache, and if these Buckstachers weren't making the criminal headlines every week, then unfortunately these guys would be out of material. Now the staff is even infected.

Well this drug dealer should fit right in with their "speed" coach Butch Reynolds, who was banned from competition for "doping". I wonder if he had a Buckstache? Well you get arrested, or banned, you hire a lawyer, and then you fill out a job application at Tosu. What the hell were they thinking with this guy? He must have a sweet hookup on roids seeing as how he's a "strength" coach. I got an inside tip from a friend who works for the Tosu AD who told me that Mo Clarett is about to be named running backs coach starting this upcoming season.

YARRRRR!!! Long live the curse o' the Buckstache!