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Thursday, June 15, 2006

About this whole soccer thing...

I know, I know. I'm supposed to be "soccer mad" right now with the rest of the world, right? I mean, the World Cup happens just once ever four years so it must be sports nirvana, correct? It would be like college football only happening twice a decade, blah, blah, blah.

Sorry. Can't get on this bandwagon. Because, in my opinion - how can I put this? - soccer blows.

There, I said it. And I feel better getting it out. Because while it may not be "sportically correct," soccer bores me to tears. I'd rather watch grass grow - which I think it actually does during the course of a soccer match.

Sure, soccer fans rave about the "uninterrupted flow" of the game because play never stops for each of the two 45 minute halves. But to me, that's not flow, that's a flaw. Because when the hell am I supposed to take a whiz if the damn game never stops? Even worse, if the game never stops, that means no Bud Bowl. How can you call it the "biggest" sport in the world if there's not a Bud Bowl?

Oh, and what's the deal with that extra time just randomly added at the end of the game? Nobody knows how much, just the refs. Are you kidding me!? You think Penn State fans got bent out of shape about two extra seconds in Ann Arbor last year, JoePa would have a heart attack over this shit.

Listen, if you want to pretend this crap is exciting, go ahead. But any sport where the typical game is 1-0, 2-0 is a rout and 3-1 is an offensive explosion, I guess I don't get all the excitement. So pardon me if I'm not setting my alarm clock trying to catch the big Ecuador-Costa Rica showdown.

Go ahead, flame away with the "you don't get it" comments. But when Brazil, supposedly a team so good its back-ups could have qualified for the Cup, beats Croatia by - you guessed it - 1-0; and the Mighty English beat Paraguay - wait for it - 1-0; I'd rather save my TiVo space for old college football games on ESPN Classic.

68 comments:

Brickeye said...

Oh c'mon what other sport can you yell "Olay Olay Olay Olay...Ooooolay...oooolay" for hours on end in a drunkin fit.

Anonymous said...

Right on. Soccer sucks.

Anonymous said...

The only cool thing to watch in a soccer game is the Jukes and other crazy ass things they do with their feet. Unfortunately unless you have HDTV you can't see the ball control. I also kinda like how they can place the ball perfectly on a shot, making it curve and what not.

cottoncandy said...

Geez, will we now attack backgammon, chess, horse shoes, bocci ball and all other games we personally don't like?

You like brussel sprouts, I hate them. But, for some reason I don't feel the need to come on here and say brussel sprouts suck. You are allowed to like what you like, I'm allowed to like what I like, and personally, I don't give a rats ass what YOU like and don't like.

For some reason, American rednecks that drive pickups with decals of a young kid peeing on something, love to tell everyone that soccer sucks. Evidently you think that makes people who love soccer think less of themselves. It certainly makes the redneck feel good about himself. God knows they love to let everyone know what they approve of and what they don't.

I like soccer, you don't. Big fucking deal. Get over yourself, because, this may come as a shock to you, your personal likes and dislikes are as interesting to the rest of us as beige paint.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget all the neo-Nazi crap that goes on in European 'football': fans holding up signs that say "You belong in the ovens" when Israeli or Jewish players are on the field. One 'footballer' actually sieg heiled his fans. Douchebags.

cottoncandy said...

God knows anon that blacks have never been treated poorly in Atlanta, so we can act superior to those CRAZY european soccer fans.

If we were going to hate sports because of their idiot fans, the Raider fans would certainly make the world hate the NFL.

Anonymous said...

Cotton,

you say: "your personal likes and dislikes are as interesting to the rest of us as beige paint." '

Isn't that what a blog is all about?? If you don't like what is said, don't read it.

SOCCER BLOWS!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

cottoncandy said...

and personally, I don't give a rats ass what YOU like and don't like.

apparently you do because you just wrote a pretty long rant about it.

Soccer sucks.

zb said...

Cotton,

Two things:

1) It's their blog
2) Soccer sucks ball

from a fellow buckeye fan

Benny Friedman said...

I'm not a soccer fan, but having a mild interest in it every four years seems about right. I'll watch some games, and pay attention to who wins, but then not miss it until 2010.
Besides, I'd rather watch a 0-0 (OK, nil to nil) futbol game then ANY golf tournament or NASCAR race. At least soccer is an actual sport.

Reed4AU said...

You don't liker soccer because of the scores and the ties. Then I guess you don't like hockey either and apparently by the tv ratings nobody else does either. I know there's not ties in hockey anymore but that only just changed.

Were really the only country in the world besides maybe Canada that hates soccer, but what do they know their national sport is hockey.

Maybe I appreciate it more because I played it through college. I don't really like the first round draws, but the round of 16 beyond is great.

I'll never like the sport as much as college football, but I recognize the skill involved and that's why I enjoy it.

I realize it's your opinion and many others that the sport sucks, but I can't help notice America's arrogance in lampooning something the rest of the world treasures.

Benny Friedman said...

You can't deny the similarities between the World Cup and college football. I'm not talking about day-to-day soccer, just the World Cup.
-The players aren't really playing for money, though a strong performance can be lucrative.
-The fans are passionate to their team/country no matter if they moved away years ago.
-The singing of traditional songs in the crowd
-The party atmostphere for the games; they're not just games, they're events
-The fact that the players are your players. Always and forever. Are Laker fans cheereing for Shaquille O'Neal now? Bulls fans hated Dennis Rodman but then he helped them win three titles. That doesn't happen in World Cup play or college football.

Anybody think of other similarities?

Can't spell Lloyd without 2 "L's" said...

Anyone ever see "The Simpsons" episode where they're at a match, and they show an American announcer calmly talking about the non-happenings on the field, then they go to a foreign announcer who's pretty much having a coronary describing the same non-happenings? Hilarious if you've seen it...oh, and then a riot breaks out at the game.

Anonymous said...

I love your site...and I think college football is by far the greatest sport on earth! But I do have to admit that I love soccer. It is a great combination of speed, finesse, skill, strategy. But I don't expect everyone to get it. I have no problem with people not liking it. But I don't understand why everyone feels the need to bash it. If you don't like, fine. I don't care.

For those who say that soccer is boring...again, I don't care. People have different tastes. But please please please don't tell me that you like baseball!!! The sport where they jam-pack 15 minutes of excitement into 4 hours. Baseball is the "great American pastime"...but I'd rather get my back waxed than watch a baseball game on TV. I'll never understand how someone can tell me that they are fans of baseball or NASCAR...and then tell me that soccer is boring.

CrimeNotes said...

Thanks for being one of the only sports bloggers pointing out the obvious. I now feel slightly less alone.

My friends won't shut up about this garbage. The ABC/ESPN pimping feels relentless. What's it like? Like being stuck watching a TNT 24-hour marathon of Rudy; like Olympic Ice Dancing has suddenly become cool and unavoidable; like having a Jehovah's Witness on your doorstep, and he refuses to leave; like a non-stop lecture about moral superiority and globalization.

The sport blows and a large number of its U.S. fans are self-righteous pricks.

The World Cup blows.

dubbya said...

That reminds me of what my dear old granpappy said to me, "Sonny sit over there and watch me fuck your granny in the ass."

Benny Friedman said...

Anon at 8:53, believe me when I tell you that Yost is NOT a baseball fan. I am, and whenever I mention baseball he ignores me. However, he did say last night that he'd rather watch a baseball game than a World Cup match. If he had to, that is.
Crimenotes, I think ABC/ESPN pimping is one of the reasons for the soccer backlash. They make it seem that if you're not skipping work and painting your face for the matches you're some sort of xenophobic asshole. That's probably only the case with about 50% of these anti-soccer people.
dubbya, I am speechless. I am without speech.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Yost...you really stirred the turd with THIS one!! (lol) But I'm with you -- I'll pass on soccer, AND baseball on TV, and golf on TV, etc.

Cottonpony - Face it, Americans won't get truly interested in the sport until they have a cross-country kickball team that's worth a flying fig. So far, ain' happenin'.

Anonymous said...

BUT...I will say that at least their stadiums are a million times louder than our Hush House. How humiliating. :-(

Yost said...

8:53AM Anon,

What do I think of baseball?

I'd rather watch soccer.

Yost said...

Benny,

When the hell did I ever say I'd rather watch baseball? You must have been delirious from working on our MZone store.

I'd rather watch a cat lick himself than a baseball game.

Yost said...

Cotton,

As someone else stated, he who runs the blog gets to state his opinion. That really IS what a blog is all about.

Also, to compare someone saying soccer sucks to saying you like brussel sprouts and I don't, isn't really the same thing.

Sports -- all sports, even college football -- are nothing more than different forms of entertainment. And like a reviewer saying this movie or that was boring, my opinion (there's that damn word again) is that soccer is about as exciting as DUECE BIGALO 2.

A2saint said...

I think you are all missing the point. The authors of this sign are trying to inject some excitement into soccer by making them play on the archery field. Now that I'd watch...

Yost said...

LOL, A2.

I'm rooting for the archers.

Go Blue, Eh! said...

Soccer bores me too. I think most soccer fans are actually bored by it too. Why do you think they have riots? They don't care about the game. It's just an excuse to drink a lot.

That being said I'll watch soccer before I'll watch scratch 'n spit (baseball) or circle drivin' rednecks (NASCAR). Soccer is boring but baseball and stock cars are painful.

Ben said...

Here's something else annoying about soccer. Anyone can fucking play it. Why do you think it's the sport of choice for the sheltered offspring of soccer moms nationwide.

Every professional soccer player looks like any scraggley, emaciated schmo on the street.

Me, I'd rather have professional athletes look like freaks of nature. It's exciting and demands a sense of awe that way.

nico said...

Soccer has freaks of nature too.

Reed4AU said...

Anybody can play it? Oh c'mon that's just ignorance. Anybody can get their no talent kid on to any league sport there is. I've seen a fat kid on a swim team and skinny kid on a football field.

No sport requires more athleticism than soccer. Certainly others require more strength and other skills, but for pure athleticism nothing compares to soccer.

Mike said...

Reed4au, I couldn't agree more.

To reinforce some positive soccer vibe on this decidedly anti-soccer discussion. Soccer is the 2nd best sport in the world next to college football.

Anonymous said...

"Here's something else annoying about soccer. Anyone can fucking play it."

Yea I bet the average fat ass can run for 90 minutes a day not including the 2 hour practices that take place. Better yet remember that fat fucking coach of your high school football team that would ride around on a golf cart? Why don't you ask him if he can play soccer. The only one you know who is good at playing with balls is your mom. BAM!!!

Papa Steve said...

Ugh...yost, too bad for you. Saying you don't like soccer because it isn't enough like U.S. pro sports in the U.S. (not enough witty advertisements) is definitely not bolstering the percetion of your IQ. If you understand the game, there IS always something going on...positioning, testing of defenses and opposing players for weaknesses...you just have to know what to look for when you watch.

If you watched a college football game without knowing what is going on, it looks like 7, maybe ten seconds of action followed by 2 minutes of standing around, or in your words...advertisements. Don't get me wrong, I love college football and grew up in a UM family with 5 alums between my parents and siblings, but to the unititated it is a bore. My wife is from Brazil and she likes watching football with me only because she can get so much done at the same time without missing a second of the game.

It is harder to play soccer at the World Cup level than it is to play football in the Superbowl. Plain and simple. You can't steroid up and have any advanatage, you have to have a blend of skills, brains and experience to get there, no substitutes. Not to mention you are competing against an entire globe of players, not just the U.S.

In terms of traditions, extrapolate on the regional rivalries of the NCAA and make them more intense by considering that soccer rivalries involve ancient cultural hatred that can go back thousands of years, global bragging rights, socio-political implications, wars, serious contention between ex-colonies toward their former occupiers...etc.

Have you watched the intensity of the U.S. v. Mexico game grow over the years? I live in California and I have almost as much bitterness with my Mexicali friends over that game as I do with UM v. OSU or MSU (and I grew up in East Lansing and my Mom's side of the family is from Columbus, so they are extremely bitter for me). Do you have any idea what kind of intensity is involved in an England v. Germany matchup? Or the clash of style, culture, economics and philosophy involved when Germany (cold, calulating strategists known for doing whatever it takes to win, groomed from childhood in a soccer machine flush with cash, coaching and facilities) plays Brazil (all skill and flair with unreal athleticism and a soul for the game that are nearly all kids who started out playing on gravel lots with homemade balls that would not be eating much if it weren't for soccer). That is all on the field if you choose to think about it.

I lived in Zurich for a year and London for 3 and trust me, no U.S.- centric sport compares at all to the global spectacle of soccer. I played on a Sunday League team in London and we had the opportunity to travel to the Czech Republic for a friendly game with a team in Prague and it was an unreal experience. The game was decidedly NOT friendly, but we also went out drinking with them afterward and suffice to say Americans can't drink for snot either. I also got to watch the World Cup in London and hopped the chunnel to Paris after they won it and believe me....nothing you have ever seen would compare to the post win festivities that occured. I was awake for nearly two days, slept in a park another night and in some strange Fench girls place another. It transformed the entire country for months, if not years. I traveled in South America for over two years and witnessed games in Bolivia, Ecuador and Argentina and I hate to say it, but the whole experience has got it all over anything the U.S. has to offer.

If you think that ads are what make NCAA football better, then maybe you hope it can become more like an NBA or NHL game whereby we can get an organ player to fill every gap of 3 seconds or more, or worse yet we can start blasting Budweiser sponsored Ted Nugent guitar licks into every gap between plays along with big animations reminding fat-ass Americans that there are corn dogs, donuts and 72 ounce sodas all within arms reach if they are bored with the game.

Personally, I abhor all professional sports in the U.S. To make an analogy to food, they are a 7-eleven hot dog and a 72 ounce Mountain Dew compared to the loads of fine international cuisine that soccer represents, steeped in tradition, culture and rivalry.

I love NCAA football b/c it is a lot closer to soccer than it is to most pro sports, although that seems to be changing as $$ plays a larger and larger role in what it is all about, which is really too bad b/c that sucks.

Most Americans don't get soccer because it takes some time for them to learn something in order to appreciate it and most seem to hate learning at all. Another reason is that there isn't enough scoring. So there is a lot of scoring in NBA basketball and still to me it is snooz-O-rama. A bunch of very tall, very rich egomaniacs loping up and down the court, covered in tattoos and gansta stylee trying to get yet another slam dunk. Womens's basketball is more interesting as a sport to me, at least they play as a team. Is that what you want? The players to run up and down the field and score every other time?

We agree wholeheartedly on baseball. fun to play at night with beer, but I couldn't watch it to save my life.

Anonymous said...

Why is it considered arrogant to proclaim ones disslike of soccer? No matter American's do it is always construed as arrogance.

Frankly, I watch world cup because it is better than the WNBA and it's only once every 4 years.

MLS BLOWS
WORLD CUP IS MODERATELY INTERESTING

Anonymous said...

papa steve:

"It is harder to play soccer at the World Cup level than it is to play football in the Superbowl. Plain and simple. You can't steroid up and have any advanatage, you have to have a blend of skills, brains and experience to get there, no substitutes. Not to mention you are competing against an entire globe of players, not just the U.S."

The entire globe has almost as many athletes as California, so what's your point? The US as 3rd tier athletes on our world cup team, yet, we are still ranked in the Top 20 in the world. What does that say about soccer athletes? Not much. Where did you get this notion that soccer is anything more than a 3rd world past time?

Reed4AU said...

Yeah anybody can play soccer, just like anybody can play football, play baseball/softball, swim/run a race, play basketball, or play golf.

It's the fact that they play at a different level. You can't compare even a well organized game of backyard football to the NFL, just like you can't compare the level of play at the World Cup to a junior or rec league game, or even a MLS game for that matter. These are best teams in the world, they have to qualify to get there so it's not as if any country with a team can just show up and play like in the Olympics.

Any fat ass can run for 90 minutes? You have to be kidding. Show me any basically fit person who can run for 30 minutes and not get a little winded. How about a fat ass that can walk for 30 minutes and get winded.

laura said...

Like my ol' granny used to say, "Can't nobody pound ass like your granpappy."

Papa Steve said...

Anonymous,

First of all, I didn't say it was arrogant, I said it was stupid. Thanks for backing up my point though. Move your lips when you read, it helps.

Your statement that there are more athletes in California than the entire globe pretty much sums up your little deficiency in knowledge. Do you really think that?

Hardly true and in nearly all sports that don't involve big $$ the U.S. doesn't compete very well. In the ones they do, it usually has something to do with some form of chemical enhancements. The 'freaks of nature' in the NFL, NBA and MLB are all products of anything BUT nature, more like a laboratory. If

Well, if you call Germany, Japan, England, Spain, Italy, Saudi Arabia, Sweden, Switzerland, amongst many otherss, third world, then that only proves my point further. If you consider anything outside the U.S. third world, then you are obviously some sort of backwoods hayseed that gets their news from that ther TeeVee and maybe an occasional glance at a USA Today which is written at a third grade level so'se Americans can understand it. Have you ever left the U.S., aside from a tourist destination in Mexico or Canada? I doubt it.

Yost said...

P. Steve,

So folks that don't have a love of soccer are -- let's make sure I get this right lets there be another comment -- "stupid" or should have their IQ called into question? I see. My bad for not seeing the world and my sporting preference through your MENSA eyes. I guess that's just my ignorance.

And yeah, I was dead serious that more commercials and advertisements making soccer a better sport. Because the Bud Bowl is such comedic and entertainment genius, right? I mean, no reason the tone of the rest of the posts on this blog might lead one to think such a statement could be a bit tongue in cheek.

But you've given me a lot to think about re: soccer. And -- in my opinion on a blog -- it still blows.

But of course, obviously anybody who doesn't see it as you do simply isn't as cultured.

Speaking of which...

As for the "loads of fine international cuisine that soccer represents, steeped in tradition, culture and rivalry," I especially love the tradition where the German hooligans give the Nazi salute or the English thugs beat teh shit out of opposing fans. Fine, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Yost,
Name one way soccer's more boring than Michigan football.

Yost said...

Anon,

Ok, it's not. I was wrong. Soccer is the most exciting thing on earth. I actually just became fully aroused typing the word "soccer." How could I have been so blind?

CrimeNotes said...

Ugh...yost, too bad for you. Saying you don't like soccer because it isn't enough like U.S. pro sports in the U.S. (not enough witty advertisements) is definitely not bolstering the percetion of your IQ. If you understand the game, there IS always something going on...positioning, testing of defenses and opposing players for weaknesses...you just have to know what to look for when you watch.

Same could be said of chess.

Or figure skating.

Just because something is complicated or difficult doesn't make it everyone's taste. I'm not going to watch timed calculus face-offs just because the competitors are skilled.

Maybe it's a chicken-and-the-egg thing between defensive soccer fans feeling bashed by parochial Americans, and non-soccer sports fans sick of being lectured by whiny, holier-than-thou soccer fans. I was neutral on the sport until about a month ago, but after having the stupid game shoved in my face by obnoxious, sanctimonious soccer fans and hearing inane lectures from the papa steves and reed4aus of the world, I will no longer remain silent.

There's only one way to settle this: An ultimate fighting death match between the 2005 NCAA First Team All-Americans and the international soccer superstars of your choice. May the best sport live.

Reed4AU said...

I don't agree with the statement that people who don't like soccer are stupid or uneducated. They just don't like and that's fine. However, people trying to compare the level of athletes in the World Cup to athletes in American professional is a ludicrous point. I'm sure if America only had soccer as the major sport for the last 100 years we would be great at it and most would love it. On the opposite end of the spectrum if Brazil had money to support such a league and they played American football for the last 100 years they would very good.

Although your and everyone's point about some of the crazy fans and the ridiculous things they do, don't forget about the violence that sometimes erupts between American sport fans. There's a freakin jail in the Eagle's stadium for goodness sake. I'm an Auburn alum and some of the stuff that has taken place during and around the Iron Bowl has been ridiculous stupid and violent. The game in '89 actually used snipers to protect the visiting Bama fans, because it was the first Iron Bowl ever played at our home. Last year a Bama fan yelled roll tide at an Auburn party which led to a fight when the dipshit stabbed a few people. I know there are countless other things that have happened at other schools and professional stadiums. As far as the Nazi thing, well although there are racists everywhere I can name a few instances at different schools where students wore KKK outfits as a halloween costume.

Papa Steve said...

Crimenotes....LOL. Nice one.

Okay, so perhaps I went a bit overboard. My apologies, but you have to understand that when you bash soccer you are keeping company with a lot of people that make statments like 'it is a third world pastime', as if everything outside the U.S. is third world.

So if a few nazis in Germany are racist, then everyone in the soccer world is the same way? As if that doesn't occur in the U.S.?

Anon.4 said...

Papa Steve,

I agree with everything that you said about fútbol. I work with Polish woman and to see her today after last nights loss to Germany hurt my heart. Of course I would feel the same way everytime that I see Mexico and the U.S. despite the fact that both her and I are U.S. citizens. I also see an easy comparison between fútbol and college football since they are both the same in so many ways, except fútbol is on a global level.

Reed4u, I am in pretty good shape since I run six miles everyday and I sometimes play fútbol with a group of Turkish national police officers who spemd their on duty time fighting Al Qaeda, you should hear some of their stories. But them and myself agree that even though we are in much better shape than your average American we are still nowhere near as in shape as someone who plays fútbol for a living. Yet when I see your average football players, and I love the sport since I was born and raised in the beautiful conference of the Pac-10 and also love the Big-10 (except for tOSU), I still do not want to be anywhere near the size of the average football player or the average American for the fact.

But one thing that we have to accept is that Yost is one of the contributors of this great blog and the rest of us are only visitors. As such we must show the same respect as when we ride in someones car or visit a home that is not our own.

Like everyone else I am just expressing my opinion.

Yost said...

Anon 4,

You can ride in my car anytime, brutha.

Anon.4 said...

That made my day Yost. You West Virginian teetotaling son of an ex-Confederate officer.

nico said...

The US as 3rd tier athletes on our world cup team, yet, we are still ranked in the Top 20 in the world.

You think football rankings suck? Think college basketball rankings are worthless?

The FIFA soccer rankings are the biggest joke on earth.

Having the USA ranked ahead of Argentina, Italy and Germany is the college football equivalent of having TCU ranked ahead of Ohio State, Penn State and West Virginia in '05. Yeah, they had a good run against mediocre competition and might knock off a quality team every now and then, but everyone under the sun KNOWS they aren't top 5 material.

Yost said...

Good point, Nico. While I don't (obviously) follow soccer, I have heard the FIFA rankings are more insane than Phil Fulmer's USA TODAY Coaches Poll ballot in '97.

slimrod said...

Soccer is like the metric system.

Since I was a kid I have heard that both were coming to America,
like it or not they will both take over the U.S. I'm still waiting.

By the way, soccer blows!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you hate soccer, and you need to tell everybody about it. Original. I eagerly await your "You know, airplane food isn't very good post." Hack.

Anonymous said...

Lay off airline food, ASSHOLE!!!!

Reed4AU said...

Things I like in sports and in the correct order"

1-College football
2-NFL ffotball
3-M-Zone/EDSBS/Deadspin and the like
4-World Cup
5-College Basketball
6-EPL(Premier League)
7-Big East football
8-College Lacrosse
9-Rugby
10-Australian rules football
11-Elitist overrated independent teams from Indiana ranked on name alone
12-F1 Racing
13-baseball
14-hockey
15-NASCAR
16-giving a shit about a stupid horse's broken leg

Yost said...

reed4au,

I love how you have "College football" at #1 but "Big East football" at #7. LOL!

cottoncandy said...

Go to this link, look at pic no. 2 and tell me you don't love soccer.

http://msn.foxsports.com/soccer/pgStory?contentId=5676192&pageNumber=2

Reed4AU said...

God bless Sweden!

BaggyPantsDevil said...

I'm with Yost on this, I don't like soccer either. For the most part, I make no value judgements with my dislike of the sport. I simply didn't grow up watching it so it looks to me like a bunch of people simply running around kicking a ball and I just don't have the spare time to sit and watch soccer games in order to be able to recognize the nuances of the game every four years when everyone is excited about the World Cup. So I don't like it, but I do understand that it's not all soccer's fault.

That aside, the breaks in the action of college football ARE important so I can go piss and get more beer and nachos. Sure, sometimes there are a few too many back to back timeouts or something that stops the game, but, I'm glad they're there. Beer is important, people. And, if you already have a beer, you can talk shit to the people around you during these breaks.

Just think of how many rabid soccer fans missed the "Hand of God" because they were thirsty? Or missed Archie Gemmill score against Holland in 1978 because their badder was about to burst?

Additionally, I take a sort of iconoclastic sense of pride that the US isn't falling all over itself to love a sport just because everyone else in the world does. Hat's off to Canada, too, for being with us on this. Just like I'm glad we refuse to adopt the metric system. I hope that never, ever, ever takes hold here.

Anonymous said...

Thank God we don't have the metric system. I'd hate to say "I have a .3048 meter dick." It sounds much better with inches.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Yost...I like a lot of excitement. I remember this one game where this black guy threw the ball 64 yards with no time left, and this other black guy caught it, and beat this other team that was ranked higher. It was played in the Midwest, I believe. That was exciting.

Anonymous said...

Yost,
I wasn't saying soccer's exciting. I was just taking a cheapshot at M football.

Slimrod,
DON'T compare the metric system to soccer. Soccer sucks. The metric system kicks ass. You try making it through a physics test spending a half-hour converting units. You try finding gravitational forces having to insert some goddamn Gc constant to convert lbf to lbm. And what the fuck is a lb-mol?

Working with torque wrenches having to div/12 to get from lb-in to lb-ft. Pain in the goddamn ass! What difference does it make to you if you have to grab an 18mm wrench instead of 3/4", yet most mechanics will get pissed off if an engineer starts talking in Nm or mm.

P.S. Since tone doesn't always come across on the internet: Unnecessary outrage, meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek.

Anonymous said...

Anon,
You son of a bitch. 0.3048 m dick my ass. How about 7.62 cm? You get to round it up to 8! And, 8 cm sounds bigger than 3". See, SI isn't so bad.

surrounded in columbus said...

the two biggest lies they teach you in school- that soccer is the sport of the future, and that you'll need to know the metric system.

you can live your whole life w/ out really understanding either one.

is this a great country or what?

Anonymous said...

Way to parrot what seventeen other people said. You're not Jayson Blair, are you?

Go Blue, Eh! said...

The metric system is easy to understand. All you need to know is 10 as in Big Ten. There was that so hard. Of course I was brought up on it so I hate the Imperial system. Nearly drove me nuts using engineering textbooks by American authors at university. Instead of learning one number to convert any unit you need to know a different number for everything. Especially since most of them are completely arbitrary. Sorry I had to get my two cents in about the metric system. Back to the actual topic. Soccer sucks. Well not really. It's just kind of boring. If you weren't raised on it there is a good chance you agree with me. If you were raised on it then you probably don't understand why anyone would feel that way. I can sympathize. I'm Canadian and I don't understand why Americans don't love hockey but do love baseball. Although I do have a theory.

Brad said...

My 2 favorite sports, by far, are football and hockey. Pretty much the only ones I watch. One thing they both share - LEGAL HITTING.

I like football for the chess-like quality of the matchups on the individual plays, and espcially in college football, the wild variations in systems teams will use.

Hockey for the sheer speed, and while sometimes the scores are similar to soccer, there are 50x more scoring chances in a typical hockey game than in a single soccer game (this is soccer's biggest problem IMO). Plus I play the sport myself.

Basketball - Too much scoring, and WAY to many TO's at the end of close games. Boring.

Baseball - Too much standing around. Fun to play, boring to watch.

Golf - Fun to play, boring to watch.

NASCAR - Cars in circles?? Seriously??

Lacrosse - I have to mention this, a weird mix of football, basketball, and hockey, but fun as all hell to watch. Don't get many opportunities to though.

I think the person who made the comment earlier had it right, even soccer fans are bored and use the games as excuses to drink and raise hell. In this respect the fans resemble those of SEC football.

Anonymous said...

I think everyone's getting so offended because people aren't just saying that dislike something, but disrespecting it.

Soccer is a complex game that involves strategy and "nuances." That doesn't mean you have to like it. But if you don't like it, don't just say it's stupid.

Likewise, don't insult auto racing, which is a favorite of mine. It also involves nuances and strategy and complexity just like any other sport. People like to say it's just "going in circles"...which is true, just like football is just throwing a ball around and running into each other and basketball is just throwing a ball around and soccer is just kicking a ball around.

Anything can sound stupid if you want it to.

I'm more anonymous than you said...

Soccer and auto racing are stupid.

When the hell did people get so delicate?

Anonymous said...

Nobody's going to ever read this comment, as I stumbled on this post two weeks late. I don't care, because the Canadian summoned my hatred for English Engineering units. For whoever invented pound-masses and BTUs, I hope all the bad things in life happen to them and only to them.

I also love watching baseball and I think someone has to defend it. I played it and I follow the hitting count, as the average results of an at-bat with a first pitch strike or first pitch ball are wildly different. But I'll admit I was bored by it before I played it competitively.

Yost said...

We read all, Anon.

Anonymous said...

I like Soccer and wish that we had Soccer world cup every year.