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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Letter of Inquiry

USC Football
Heritage Hall
3501 Watt Way
Los Angeles, CA 90089
ATTN: Pete Carroll

Dear Mr. Carroll,

It has come to my attention that being a USC football player comes with certain perks, namely that the players and their family members get some of the most incredible housing deals to be had in the entire Southern California real estate market. As such, I would like to inquire about trying out for the Trojan football team.

To be honest, I suck as a football player but I have been known to be one heck of a house guest and no stranger to "killer" rental deals in the Los Angeles area. Furthermore, based on my previous living arrangements, I have strong ties to the USC program. Best of all, I am very discreet should any problems arise with any more of your players.

Thank you for your time.


Kato Kaelin


Trojan Mike said...

$650 a month, for a college student, is a killer deal? Matt's Dad moved them to security apartments in downtown LA, after fans and stalkers were camping out in front of thier old apartment everyday. The parents were concerned for his safety and I guess figured they could sublet the apt. to the boys for $650 each and as a parent just cover the difference. Motivation was safety.

Anonymous said...

Sweet letter! (lmao)

mikethetiger said...

maybe I'm just ignorant as to this latest USC situation, but from what I read, I really didn't find anything wrong with it.....not enough to warrant sanctions.

Benny Friedman said...

mikethetiger, this particular Leinart thing is probably the type of thing that happens at a lot of schools and would maybe result in a slap on the wrist. But with all the other stories coming out of SC lately, they start to add up. Plus, once the NCAA starts sniffing around, they usually find something.

jim masterson said...

Benny My Man.The ncaa can't find their ass with their both hands. they are a joke of a quasi- non for profit organiation, with a shitload of cash $700 mil. They will not pursue the usc program, jarrett & Linehart is a feell good story, white west coast kid, black kid from nj. great friend . roomates for 2 yrs. the,the ncaaa will come down on them but not bush, not carroll, be thankful that um didn't have a indian nickname like firewater chuggin Warriors or some such , because you would be in their cross hairs. sanctimonious bastards. Have a good day benny go Irish, I mean go maize & blue