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Friday, May 05, 2006

High School or College?

A recent article from Sports Illustrated on Campus details the experience of hot-shot Georgia QB recruit Matthew Stafford. Stafford, from Highland Park, Texas, is one of the growing number of future college football players who eschew the second semester of their senior year of high school in order to enroll early in college, so as to be able to participate in Spring practice.

As I read the article I thought about what I would do if in Stafford's shoes. It would be a difficult decision. So, with a tip of the hat to comedy writer, and former talking cat, Nick Bakay, I decided to work up a Tale of the Tape to assist in my hypothetical decision.

EDUCATION
Staying in School: Did anyone learn anything second semester of senior year?
Going Early to College: Probably actually has to attend class
Advantage: High School

FOOTBALL
Staying in School: Career over, only able to bask in glory
Going Early to College: High-ceiling future enhanced by early start
Advantage: College

SOCIAL LIFE
Staying in School: Skipping class, no football responsibilities, still BMOC
Going Early to College: Too busy finding way around campus, studying film
Advantage: High School

STATUS
Staying in School: Football hero, BMOC
Going Early to College: Just another freshman, though one with huge pressure
Advantage: High School

HOME LIFE
Staying in School: Still living in same room as when you were 5; lame posters of Troy Aikman on wall
Going Early to College: First freedom from parents; lame posters of blondes in bikinis holding beer
Advantage: College

LASTING MEMORIES
Staying in School: Parties, hanging out with lifelong friends, parties, having fun with no responsibilities, parties
Going Early to College: Studying formations, learning offensive system, parties
Advantage: High School

FOOD
Staying in School: Mom's home cooking, late night Taco Bell runs with buddies
Going Early to College: Dorm food
Advantage: High School

SEX LIFE
Staying in School: Opportunities for "last chance" with Texas hotties
Going Early to College: Stud freshman QB on football-mad campus; Southern hotties
Advantage: Push (in Yiddish: Shtup)

So tallying up the answers gives high school the advantage. Interesting since I didn't like high school, but loved college. Of course I wasn't a five-star QB and high school hero.

Do you disagree with how I analyzed the categories? Have any additional ones? Leave them all in the comments.

3 comments:

J. Lichty said...

Yeah - the high school qb is usually the all america boy with the steady cheerleader girlfriend v. in college it is the south quad groupies (or whatever the football dorm is in college). Girlfriend gets dumped and the all american boy gets to play the field for the first time where girls he's never met know who he is ant its at Georgia - where the girls are hot.

Advantage college

IC said...

Solid analysis Benny, but I disagree on a few points:

* Social Life: This may tread into Sex Life category, but if Stafford was as big a BMOC as we might rightly assume, he's probably accomplished everything he wanted to in this area. However, in college he's like an explorer reaching a new land. Did Magellan just sit on his ass just because he was BMIP (Big Man in Portugal)? Then again, Magellan was killed on one of his trips...

* Food: Why can't he male late-night Taco Bell runs with college buddies? That would make this category a push if Mrs. Stafford is a crappy cook.

Anonymous said...

I got 20 bucks that says Colin Cowherd uses this bit on his show within a week